ehhh

[fedaalis]

I don't know how to feel about your last livejournal entry... how should I feel? I feel like shit. I know you said it's "you", and that you're just empty inside, but I can't help but feel like it's me too... Maybe if I was more like whatever it is that you want in a guy you'd actually feel more about me

Comments

[m0nst3r]

I hate these kind of posts from you. They tear me up more than just about anything else.

I don't know what it means when I say I feel empty. Nearly my entire life I've felt I'm missing something and I just don't know how to fix it. I wish I did, but I don't. I do know, however, that the days I spent with you made me happier than I've been for a long time. I can't say it enough that no one has hugged me like you have. I wear your sweatshirts nearly everyday and I refuse to wash them despite how many times I've wiped my runny nose on the sleeve. It makes me feel good to wear your clothes and the bracelet you made me... I feel.. safe, I guess. It makes me feel warm inside.

I can't say what will happen in the future, but I don't want to give up on us...

There's so much I want to say to you, to make you see how amazing you are, but I just don't know how. A big part of me wishes you'd tell me to simply go away so you could find someone to give you what you deserve.

And not that this has to do with anything, but I love the way you write

[fedaalis]

I'm sorry for making you feel bad at all :( I don't want to do that...

I don't want to give up on us either. I want to give you everything I have to give. There is noone in the world who can make me feel the way that you do. I love you so much and I feel horrible every moment I'm not near you :(

I have a lot on my mind lately, I just want to be left alone for a while... I really need to think about my life and what I want to do in it... I've got a lot of homework and a lot of thoughts on my mind and I want to stay away from the computer. It is my biggest advocate of escapism from social life. :/

[m0nst3r]

Nonono don't feel bad... there's absolutely nothing for you to feel bad about.

I really, really hope I can snap out of all of this so I can give you everything in return.. :(

I completely understand. I have a lot of homework and other things I have to do and I guess I want to be left alone too. I've been feeling numb and completely drained of energy today.

Godzzzzzz

[anonymous]

Welcome to life, can you handle it? Life isn't about succeding and becoming something great. Because after all is done even the greats feel empty some day. Life is about surviving. There is no happily ever after. So as soon as you and Stephanie stop looking for that you will come to a realization with reality rather than a fairy tale. Stephanie can still feel empty and love you. The void can't be filled with another person. I have tried that all my life and it's been a nightmare. Confide in each other but not so strongly. It stresses the other person out and gives you nothing to fall back on. Best of luck

-Torin