Black-and-Red Conflict - Ch.23

May 22, 2008 18:46


Pairing: Renji and Byakuya
Rating: PG (overall M)
Spoilers: for the end of the SoulSociety arc
Discl.: Bleach and all its characters are (c) to kubotite
Content: Byakuya is an arrogant bastard, says Renji. Abarai is an impertinent nuisance, says Byakuya. Unfortunately for them, opposites attract.
Notes: alright..... i know an apology really is needed ( Read more... )

renji, bleach, brc, fanfiction, byakuya

Leave a comment

Comments 29

lady_unsaie May 22 2008, 16:04:55 UTC
just to say Thank You :)
now me goes to read... ^_^

Reply

feathers_of_ice May 22 2008, 16:05:50 UTC
wait with the thanks until you have read ;P *gulp*

Reply

lady_unsaie May 22 2008, 16:49:59 UTC
I have, and I can thank you nonetheless <3
love it every time you write form Bya's point of view
though the Byakuya-realizing-what-he-did-and-deciding-to-change-in-a-single-hour-or-so part, was a tiny bit ooc :P
and thanks for mentioning that Renji planed to go to the rl to fight, so early in the chapter
it made the ending less an unexpected punch
I guess it has to get worse to get better,
and Bya got a great chance to be eh-eh nice to Renji ^_^ during his healing >:]

Reply

feathers_of_ice May 22 2008, 17:26:36 UTC
you really think it was ooc? thanks for mentioning... it's good to know that, since i wrote this thing really with my mind quite much on some other things... i think i'll look over it again! the last thing i want to happen is either of them getting OOC so near to the end!!!
thank you!

Reply


hu3long2 May 22 2008, 18:00:03 UTC
Yes! Finally, Renji's dissatisfaction is out in the open ( ... )

Reply

feathers_of_ice May 22 2008, 18:21:30 UTC
i have to admit i was a bit confused in between in what you wrote, but i think i got what you wanted to say in the end... :) and thank you very much for your thoughts on this. they do support the thoughts i got after reading lady_unsaie's opinion that it might be ooc... i don't actually think the fact that he realized he has done wrong is ooc, but, as you mentioned as well, the speed with which he actually decides what to do.... seemed weak is his biggest fear, i think i got a bit rushed thinking he would actually be able to decide to face that so without second thought....
thank you very much... i'm glad i have readers giving me feedback like that!!! ^^

Reply


(The comment has been removed)

feathers_of_ice May 22 2008, 18:22:56 UTC
ehhh yeah, i hope to still get a few of those smoothed out when i have my betareader's opinion ^^ but thanks for the hints. i shouldn't write at 1 o'clock in the night when i haven't slept enough, but had i not written it then, i would have forgotten what i wanted to say then :P

Reply


hu3long2 May 22 2008, 18:05:56 UTC
Oops, sorry, I realized after I posted that Lady_Unsaie had already replied and said much the same things.
Anyway, what I meant at the end is that Byakuya has it too easy-- he identified the problem, found the solution, tidied it up in his mind, got back to work-- his response was so smug and intellectual in some ways that I just wanted to kick him in his pants. Despite his emotional response, he was still playing mind games. So Renji missing is a great way to go! Great jolt!

Reply

feathers_of_ice May 22 2008, 18:24:20 UTC
thank you, i anyway very much liked your long comment from before. it supported some thoughts i had, too..... ^^

Reply


(The comment has been removed)

feathers_of_ice May 22 2008, 20:25:45 UTC
thanks you so much for your insight! ^^ your input suits well into the change i thought of doing to this. i think i will definitely let Byakuya react with shock, but the decision to actually really change, and take that step of giving into renji, will only be made when he gets a taste of what it would mean to lose renji. so, only after something more that i have planned for the next chapter, will he actually decide to submit.

Reply


Leave a comment

Up