in which kyuhyun is a clueless pathetic loser and ryeowook's last name is woe
title: in which kyuhyun is a clueless pathetic loser and ryeowook's last name is woe
kyuwook ; friendship ; pg
word count : 1,450
a/n: my first suju fic in 2+ years. that should tell you something. HAPPY NEW YEAR!! ^^
“He’s right, you know.”
Ryeowook hums softly under his breath and flips a page of the home furnishing magazine in his hands, not even looking up. “Who’s right about what?”
“Jongwoon hyung,” Kyuhyun says - somehow managing to sound indifferent and upset at the same time. He flops onto the couch next to the older boy, grabs one of the three Nemo-printed cushions that Donghae had insisted on getting, tosses it into the air, catches it, and hugs it to his chest. He stays silent for a moment, thoughtful expression crossing his facial features. “He was spot-on when he said that I’d regret breaking up with him.”
Ryeowook makes a sound at the back of his throat and furrows his eyebrows at the price tag of a potted plant. He lets out a soft sigh and closes the magazine, places it face down on the low coffee table.
Kyuhyun side-eyes him. “Why are you looking at that anyway?”
The older of the two boys looks at him and says sadly, “You’re right, it’s not as if I can afford anything in there. What with the pathetic salary from that dumb-ass part time job.” He sighs loudly - an exaggerated sigh, throws his hands in the air, closes his eyes. “Woe is me. I must have done some pretty bad stuff in my previous life to be known as Wookie Woe.”
“Enough with the dramatics, Ryeowook. This isn’t the theatre club,” Kyuhyun scoffs and throws the Nemo cushion at him. Ryeowook lifts an arm and smacks it away, eyes still closed. Kyuhyun makes an impressed sound. “And besides,” he adds as an afterthought, “isn’t that boy toy of yours like super rich? Get him to buy you your furniture then. You guys can bond over flower-patterned teacups. How romantic.”
Ryeowook, still wallowing in his apparent misery, says rather distractedly. “What boy toy? You mean Kyungsoo? Soo can barely keep up with his tuition fees, the poor boy.”
Kyuhyun frowns. “Kyungsoo? Who’s Kyungsoo?” he asks, forehead creasing. “I’m talking about that handsome one, the one who sometimes looks like Siwon hyung?”
“What, Joonmyun?” Ryeowook cracks his eyes open, laughs a little. “Joonmyun isn’t anyone’s boy toy, better not let him catch you use that term on him. Though I have to say,” he grins widely, “Joonmyunie seems to be completely whipped when it comes to Changmin. No doubt on who’s the bottom in that relationship.”
Kyuhyun chokes on air.
“Say what?” he splutters and stares wide-eyed at Ryeowook. “Changmin’s going out with Siwon Jr?”
The elder arches a brow. “Uh yeah? I thought the whole school knew.”
“Apparently not,” he adds - looking pointedly at the younger boy.
Kyuhyun looks furious as he seethes. “That fucker didn’t tell me anything! That good-for-nothing asshole.”
Ryeowook rolls his eyes. “Oh!” he exclaims, acting surprised. “I didn’t know you were Changmin’s mother.” He stretches out a hand and puts on a smile. “Hello Mrs Shim, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Ryeowook, one of your son’s best friends.”
Kyuhyun scowls and slaps the hand away. “Sarcasm isn’t a good colour on you, Wook.”
“Okay fine, whatever. But seriously, you should pay more attention to your surroundings, Kyuhyun. I’m saying this is a concerned friend who doesn’t want to see you being labelled as a clueless outcast,” Ryeowook says serenely, holding out a tube of mint candies. “Menthos?”
Kyuhyun snatches the whole tube and pops three in his mouth, chewing angrily. Ryeowook eyes him amusedly.
“Well, it’s not my fault that I can’t seem to wrap my head around the fact that other people’s private businesses are meant for me to poke my nose into, Mr Ryeowook McNosey.”
Ryeowook shrugs easily, not offended in the least bit, and produces a jumbo bag of gummy worms. He doesn’t offer it to Kyuhyun. Munching on a red worm noisily, he says thoughtfully, “No, you’re just too busy wrapping your lips around Jongwoon hyung’s cock and sticking your tongue up his ass crack.”
He sneers at the younger boy. “You’re just too preoccupied with his private parts to care about anything else.”
Kyuhyun presses his lips into a thin line and stays silent because they’ve returned to point A, aka Kim Jongwoon. He sinks back into cushions, and proceeds to sulk.
Ryeowook sends a glance in his direction, sighs, bites off the head of a yellow worm. “Look, if you miss him that badly, why don’t you just give him a call?”
Kyuhyun looks at him, looking both scandalised and condescending. “I can’t just call him. What the hell am I supposed to say? Hey hyung, I miss you? Give me a break, Ryeowook. He’ll think I’m such a pathetic loser.”
“But you are a pathetic loser for dumping him?”
“Gee thanks a lot,” Kyuhyun rolls his eyes, “I feel so much better now.”
Ryeowook picks out a green worm and pushes it through Kyuhyun’s lips. “Anytime, buddy,” he says.
“Seriously though, why did you do it? I mean, Jongwoon hyung’s a great catch. I bet he’s fantastic in bed too. I’d totally tap that ass if it wasn’t for my Kyungsoo.”
Kyuhyun lets out a pained groan. “So not helping dude.”
The older boy shrugs nonchalantly and pops a handful of worms into his mouth. Those candies are addictive, okay.
Kyuhyun continues his sob story. “How am I supposed to get him back with his new admirer hanging all over him like a leech?”
“New admirer? Who?”
“That freshman kid with the purple hair and eye-smile that can rival Tiffany’s. Byun Baekhoon? Or something.”
“Baekhyun?” Ryeowook snorts. “Baek isn’t interested in Jongwoon hyung, trust me. He has the hots for that Chinese transfer student in Donghae hyung’s major. The kid who dances like a pro? I can’t remember his name but yeah, really nice boy.”
“Pro dancer? Hyukjae?” Kyuhyun scrunches up his nose. “Oh my god, why would anyone like that anchovy?”
Ryeowook blinks and throws worms in his face. “Which part of Hyukjae hyung is a really nice Chinese transfer student? Use your brains before speaking, Kyuhyun.”
“Wait,” Kyuhyun says, “so what you’re saying is, Jongwoon hyung is available for me to renounce my claim on him?”
Ryeowook makes a face and pelts him with another worm attack. “May I just remind you that Jongwoon hyung is a person and not some freaking object for you to sink your filthy claws into? And yes, you idiot, he’s very much sexy, free, and single at the moment.”
Kyuhyun lifts his chin slightly and says haughtily, “Of course you may and - wait, who are you calling?” he frowns. “Didn’t you mom teach you not to get distracted in the middle of a conversation?”
Ryeowook waves him off with a muttered shut up will you, and presses the phone to his ear.
“Hello? Hyung? Yes it’s me, Ryeowook. Kyuhyun’s here with me, and the idiot has something he wants to say to you. I’ll put him on. Have fun.”
Kyuhyun’s eyes grow wide and he shakes his head frantically when Ryeowook pushes the phone into his hands.
The petite boy rolls his eyes and smacks him on the back of his head. “Don’t be such a wuss, you freak. Just talk to him dammit. You’ll thank me later.”
He gets to his feet, grabs the magazine off the table, tosses it to the ground, and steps on it.
Kyuhyun stares as Ryeowook walks off to his room, whistling a jaunty tune under his breath. That asshole.
He lets a few more seconds pass before placing the phone to his ears. “H-hello?”
Muffled laughter and a cough greets him. “Ryeowook’s quite the fire cracker, isn’t he?”
“ …”
“Kyuhyun? You had something you wanted to say?”
“…”
“Kyuhyun.”
“…”
A sigh. “I’m going to hang up on the count of three. One, two, two point one, two point two - ”
“I miss you, Jongwoon hyung.”
“…”
“Hyung?”
A low chuckle. “You are such a pathetic loser, Kyuhyun, did you know that?”
“Yes I do, Ryeowook told me,” Kyuhyun pouts. “And I’m sorry for what I said yesterday.”
“I didn’t think you’d actually cave in so fast Kyuhyun-ah. You big pabo you.”
“Jongwoon hyung!”
Jongwoon laughs out but stops his teasing anyways. “Do you want to come over? We could have a sleepover. Your favourite boxers are still with me by the way.”
Kyuhyun grins. “Be right there.”
*
Kyuhyun thinks that it might be a good idea to give Ryeowook the potted plant as a form of a thank you.
He picks the magazine up from the floor and flips it open.
Then again, maybe not.
*
kyuwook ; friendship ; pg
word count : 1,450
a/n: my first suju fic in 2+ years. that should tell you something. HAPPY NEW YEAR!! ^^
“He’s right, you know.”
Ryeowook hums softly under his breath and flips a page of the home furnishing magazine in his hands, not even looking up. “Who’s right about what?”
“Jongwoon hyung,” Kyuhyun says - somehow managing to sound indifferent and upset at the same time. He flops onto the couch next to the older boy, grabs one of the three Nemo-printed cushions that Donghae had insisted on getting, tosses it into the air, catches it, and hugs it to his chest. He stays silent for a moment, thoughtful expression crossing his facial features. “He was spot-on when he said that I’d regret breaking up with him.”
Ryeowook makes a sound at the back of his throat and furrows his eyebrows at the price tag of a potted plant. He lets out a soft sigh and closes the magazine, places it face down on the low coffee table.
Kyuhyun side-eyes him. “Why are you looking at that anyway?”
The older of the two boys looks at him and says sadly, “You’re right, it’s not as if I can afford anything in there. What with the pathetic salary from that dumb-ass part time job.” He sighs loudly - an exaggerated sigh, throws his hands in the air, closes his eyes. “Woe is me. I must have done some pretty bad stuff in my previous life to be known as Wookie Woe.”
“Enough with the dramatics, Ryeowook. This isn’t the theatre club,” Kyuhyun scoffs and throws the Nemo cushion at him. Ryeowook lifts an arm and smacks it away, eyes still closed. Kyuhyun makes an impressed sound. “And besides,” he adds as an afterthought, “isn’t that boy toy of yours like super rich? Get him to buy you your furniture then. You guys can bond over flower-patterned teacups. How romantic.”
Ryeowook, still wallowing in his apparent misery, says rather distractedly. “What boy toy? You mean Kyungsoo? Soo can barely keep up with his tuition fees, the poor boy.”
Kyuhyun frowns. “Kyungsoo? Who’s Kyungsoo?” he asks, forehead creasing. “I’m talking about that handsome one, the one who sometimes looks like Siwon hyung?”
“What, Joonmyun?” Ryeowook cracks his eyes open, laughs a little. “Joonmyun isn’t anyone’s boy toy, better not let him catch you use that term on him. Though I have to say,” he grins widely, “Joonmyunie seems to be completely whipped when it comes to Changmin. No doubt on who’s the bottom in that relationship.”
Kyuhyun chokes on air.
“Say what?” he splutters and stares wide-eyed at Ryeowook. “Changmin’s going out with Siwon Jr?”
The elder arches a brow. “Uh yeah? I thought the whole school knew.”
“Apparently not,” he adds - looking pointedly at the younger boy.
Kyuhyun looks furious as he seethes. “That fucker didn’t tell me anything! That good-for-nothing asshole.”
Ryeowook rolls his eyes. “Oh!” he exclaims, acting surprised. “I didn’t know you were Changmin’s mother.” He stretches out a hand and puts on a smile. “Hello Mrs Shim, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Ryeowook, one of your son’s best friends.”
Kyuhyun scowls and slaps the hand away. “Sarcasm isn’t a good colour on you, Wook.”
“Okay fine, whatever. But seriously, you should pay more attention to your surroundings, Kyuhyun. I’m saying this is a concerned friend who doesn’t want to see you being labelled as a clueless outcast,” Ryeowook says serenely, holding out a tube of mint candies. “Menthos?”
Kyuhyun snatches the whole tube and pops three in his mouth, chewing angrily. Ryeowook eyes him amusedly.
“Well, it’s not my fault that I can’t seem to wrap my head around the fact that other people’s private businesses are meant for me to poke my nose into, Mr Ryeowook McNosey.”
Ryeowook shrugs easily, not offended in the least bit, and produces a jumbo bag of gummy worms. He doesn’t offer it to Kyuhyun. Munching on a red worm noisily, he says thoughtfully, “No, you’re just too busy wrapping your lips around Jongwoon hyung’s cock and sticking your tongue up his ass crack.”
He sneers at the younger boy. “You’re just too preoccupied with his private parts to care about anything else.”
Kyuhyun presses his lips into a thin line and stays silent because they’ve returned to point A, aka Kim Jongwoon. He sinks back into cushions, and proceeds to sulk.
Ryeowook sends a glance in his direction, sighs, bites off the head of a yellow worm. “Look, if you miss him that badly, why don’t you just give him a call?”
Kyuhyun looks at him, looking both scandalised and condescending. “I can’t just call him. What the hell am I supposed to say? Hey hyung, I miss you? Give me a break, Ryeowook. He’ll think I’m such a pathetic loser.”
“But you are a pathetic loser for dumping him?”
“Gee thanks a lot,” Kyuhyun rolls his eyes, “I feel so much better now.”
Ryeowook picks out a green worm and pushes it through Kyuhyun’s lips. “Anytime, buddy,” he says.
“Seriously though, why did you do it? I mean, Jongwoon hyung’s a great catch. I bet he’s fantastic in bed too. I’d totally tap that ass if it wasn’t for my Kyungsoo.”
Kyuhyun lets out a pained groan. “So not helping dude.”
The older boy shrugs nonchalantly and pops a handful of worms into his mouth. Those candies are addictive, okay.
Kyuhyun continues his sob story. “How am I supposed to get him back with his new admirer hanging all over him like a leech?”
“New admirer? Who?”
“That freshman kid with the purple hair and eye-smile that can rival Tiffany’s. Byun Baekhoon? Or something.”
“Baekhyun?” Ryeowook snorts. “Baek isn’t interested in Jongwoon hyung, trust me. He has the hots for that Chinese transfer student in Donghae hyung’s major. The kid who dances like a pro? I can’t remember his name but yeah, really nice boy.”
“Pro dancer? Hyukjae?” Kyuhyun scrunches up his nose. “Oh my god, why would anyone like that anchovy?”
Ryeowook blinks and throws worms in his face. “Which part of Hyukjae hyung is a really nice Chinese transfer student? Use your brains before speaking, Kyuhyun.”
“Wait,” Kyuhyun says, “so what you’re saying is, Jongwoon hyung is available for me to renounce my claim on him?”
Ryeowook makes a face and pelts him with another worm attack. “May I just remind you that Jongwoon hyung is a person and not some freaking object for you to sink your filthy claws into? And yes, you idiot, he’s very much sexy, free, and single at the moment.”
Kyuhyun lifts his chin slightly and says haughtily, “Of course you may and - wait, who are you calling?” he frowns. “Didn’t you mom teach you not to get distracted in the middle of a conversation?”
Ryeowook waves him off with a muttered shut up will you, and presses the phone to his ear.
“Hello? Hyung? Yes it’s me, Ryeowook. Kyuhyun’s here with me, and the idiot has something he wants to say to you. I’ll put him on. Have fun.”
Kyuhyun’s eyes grow wide and he shakes his head frantically when Ryeowook pushes the phone into his hands.
The petite boy rolls his eyes and smacks him on the back of his head. “Don’t be such a wuss, you freak. Just talk to him dammit. You’ll thank me later.”
He gets to his feet, grabs the magazine off the table, tosses it to the ground, and steps on it.
Kyuhyun stares as Ryeowook walks off to his room, whistling a jaunty tune under his breath. That asshole.
He lets a few more seconds pass before placing the phone to his ears. “H-hello?”
Muffled laughter and a cough greets him. “Ryeowook’s quite the fire cracker, isn’t he?”
“ …”
“Kyuhyun? You had something you wanted to say?”
“…”
“Kyuhyun.”
“…”
A sigh. “I’m going to hang up on the count of three. One, two, two point one, two point two - ”
“I miss you, Jongwoon hyung.”
“…”
“Hyung?”
A low chuckle. “You are such a pathetic loser, Kyuhyun, did you know that?”
“Yes I do, Ryeowook told me,” Kyuhyun pouts. “And I’m sorry for what I said yesterday.”
“I didn’t think you’d actually cave in so fast Kyuhyun-ah. You big pabo you.”
“Jongwoon hyung!”
Jongwoon laughs out but stops his teasing anyways. “Do you want to come over? We could have a sleepover. Your favourite boxers are still with me by the way.”
Kyuhyun grins. “Be right there.”
*
Kyuhyun thinks that it might be a good idea to give Ryeowook the potted plant as a form of a thank you.
He picks the magazine up from the floor and flips it open.
Then again, maybe not.
*