[Fic] Bonds of Water 14/20 (NC-17) HP: HP/SS
Title: Bonds of Water (14/20)
Author: faynia and stormypup
Pairing: Snape/Harry
Rating: R
Word Count: 3000
Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama
Summary: Harry has never been entranced by music before now, but he is willing to do anything to learn how to play the same melody.
Beta'd by rakina.
Previous Chapters:
Chapter One
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Draco was pissed off. It wasn't hard to guess what had Potter all riled up today. There was only one person, aside from himself, that could piss Potty off and that was his godfather. He stormed through the winding corridors of the dungeons and knocked loudly on the portrait guarding Snape's rooms. The woman in the portrait sniffed disdainfully, but after one well chosen, rude gesture she buggered off.
He stepped back when he heard movement within and folded his arms across his chest with a churlish expression.
A moment later, Snape opened the door.
"Well, Potter is well and truly pissed off which means you turned him down, which means you're still being a stubborn prat," Draco said without so much as a hello.
Snape pinched the bridge of his nose. "This is not up for discussion, Draco."
"Like hell it isn't. Potter wants to be with you and you still push him away. Do you want to die that badly?"
He gasped as he was suddenly pulled through the portrait hole and into Snape's quarters by the collar.
Snape unceremoniously dropped Draco onto the couch. "Potter doesn't want to be with me, you fool, he just wants to assuage his own guilt for being an utter idiot and putting us in this mess."
"Well, isn't that enough?"
"No, it bloody well isn't!" Severus snapped. "Honestly Draco, can you picture it? I follow Potter off to wherever it is he plans to go after school. And we do what, exactly? Set up house, perhaps with a little cottage with a lovely pond outside?"
"You could always take him into the lake," Draco pointed out.
"No! That is the one thing I will not do!" Snape ground out.
"So then you do want to die."
"Of course I don't want to die!" Snape shouted. "But I won't force him to spend the rest of his life in the lake! You know that if I take him down, he can never leave it. Ever. He won't just be tied to me, he'll be tied to the lake."
"Well, you don't have much of a choice do you!" Draco yelled back.
"The lake is my home, but I can leave it for long periods of time, Harry wouldn't have that luxury. He could never leave its boundaries."
Draco shrugged. "Better than you dying from a broken heart."
"Answer me this then, Draco," Snape said, his voice becoming low and soothing. "What if you were told that McGongall was dying because of something you did and the only way to save her was to make her your mate. Are you saying you'd do it?"
Draco opened his mouth to protest that it was completely different than stopped himself, "If it meant not dying; but that's really unfair, Uncle Severus, she's got at least forty years on you!"
"The point is, you would not wish to be tied down to someone so...old, now would you?"
"You are not old by any standards, and I highly doubt Potter would be so upset if he thought you were ancient."
"Draco, what do you want me to say?" Snape asked in exasperation.
"I want you to say that you won't push Potter away if he comes to you again. I want to hear you say it, because really there's only so much of Granger's shrieking that one can endure."
Snape sighed and scrubbed his face with his hands before facing Draco. "I promise I will not push him away, but that is the limit of it. Now just...go and stop worrying so much," Snape groused, waving toward the door.
"It's not like you seem to be," Draco muttered, before taking his leave of his godfather.
Snape closed the door behind Draco and rested his forehead against it. He agreed not to push Harry away. He could do that when the time came. For now, he'd put up with it. Who knew, maybe it could work. For awhile anyway.
*****
Harry sat cross legged on his bed, his violin lying out of its case in front of him. He reached out fingering the strings, knowing it was still tuned without even testing it. Ron shifted uncomfortably on his own bed, waiting for Harry to tell him what he wanted.
"Has Snape always been stubborn?" Harry asked, picking up the instrument and settling it on his lap.
"I reckon he was born that way," Ron answered. "You ever known him when he wasn't the uptight, cranky pain-in-the-arse he always is?"
Harry's eyes flickered over to meet Ron's gaze. "Yes. Twice."
Ron scoffed at that. "Come on Harry, you know what I mean, that man doesn't change. He's always a mean-spirited git intent on making our lives miserable, you more than most!"
"Yes, he is when he's here in the castle," Harry agreed, inhaling and the exhaling with a shake. "He's… he's never happy here."
"Look mate, what are you gettin' at?" Ron asked, studying Harry closely.
"I don't know, Ron. I really don't. I don't know what to do and it should be so easy, but it isn't and I just don't know what to do anymore."
Ron hopped to his feet. "Come on then," Ron said, rustling around in their trunks to pull out their brooms.
"What are you doing?" Harry asked, laughing.
"We're going to do the one thing that's easy, then maybe some of the harder answers will come to you. And if that fails, at least we'll have got out of the castle for awhile," Ron added, grinning.
Harry looked at him with a suspicious smile. "Where are we going then?" He placed his violin back in its case and stood up.
"Flying, ya daft prat. I figure we can grab a practice Snitch and have a bit of fun while we can!"
Harry laughed and shook his head, "As if you'll win."
Ron cuffed Harry on the back of his head. "Come on, we haven't got all day now, have we!'
Still laughing, the two boys headed for the outdoors so Harry could clear his head.
Harry grabbed their brooms out of the broom shed out on the grounds and ran out onto the pitch. He tossed Ron his broom and jumped on his own. He hadn't realized how much he had missed this. With the autumn season over and the weather being like it had, he hadn't gone outside to fly.
Harry zoomed up towards the clouds, before flipping over and careening back down, pulling up when he reached the same height as the top of the goal posts. Ron was still standing on the ground below him and Harry could see, even from all the way up here, that he was rolling his eyes.
"What are you waiting for?"
"Just waiting for you to get up there so I could release the Snitch," Ron said, opening the small box and holding it up. The Snitch was gone in an instant.
"Game on!" Ron shouted, jumping on to his broom and racing for the sky.
*****
Two hours and five matches later, they drifted back towards the ground, the sky darkening by the minute.
Harry grinned over at Ron as they touched earth. His fingers held the Snitch tightly, as he went to put it back in its box.
Once it was safely put away, Ron slung an arm around Harry's shoulder as they walked back to the castle. "Well mate, did that help clear your brain up a bit?"
"Yeah, it did. You're a genius sometimes, anyone ever tell you that?"
Ron grinned and his ears turned red with embarrassed pleasure. "So what's the plan?"
"Still don't know, but that's not as scary anymore." Harry gave him a lopsided grin as they made to put away their broomsticks. He paused as he shut the door, looking in the direction of the lake with a thoughtful stare. "Hey Ron, do me a favor?"
Seeing the direction of Harry's gaze, Ron tensed. "Depends on the favor."
"I might not be at dinner. Can you make sure Hermione keeps her gob shut about it? Malfoy's shoves have been extra painful recently and I'm inclined to blame her."
Ron frowned. "You sure you know what you're doin'?"
"No clue, but I need to talk to someone on Snape's side and there's only one place where they are."
Ron nodded reluctantly. "Alright mate, but be careful alright? Don't let any of them lake people do anything fishy." Ron smiled. "Lake people? Fish? Sometimes I think I'm brilliant. Anyway, I'll get Hermione out of your hair." He slapped Harry on the shoulder. "Be careful, Harry," he said, and with a sad smile he left Harry to his own devices.
Harry waited until Ron disappeared from sight before rushing down to the lake. He knew this was potentially dangerous but what choice did he have at this point? Dumbledore was out of the question, because he knew that he would discourage him, Hermione wouldn't be much of a help, if he told her any of his problems she'd blush furiously and change the topic. He had already gone to Malfoy and while he knew he'd probably have to attempt that half-arsed plan someday it didn't have to be yet. He didn't doubt for a second that Snape would know what he was trying to do and somehow he got the feeling the man wouldn't be overly appreciative about it.
He kneeled at the edge of the lake, drew his wand out of his pocket and quickly cast the bubblehead charm, before plunging his head into the freezing cold water.
Harry gasped, his eyes widened and his entire body shook. Perhaps this wasn't the smartest choice.
"Cadmus!" Harry shouted, only hoping the merman would hear him all the way at the bottom of the lake.
Harry waited, repeating the yell every fifteen seconds, knowing he couldn't do this for much longer. Without Snape, the water was freezing and he was shaking uncontrollably.
Seemingly out of nowhere, a face appeared before him and Harry pulled out of the water, startled. He quickly dunked his head down again to find Cadmus waiting. "What is it?" he asked, scowling at Harry.
"I need help."
Cadmus' tail swished in irritation. "With what?"
Harry sighed, his head ached from the cold and his teeth were beginning to chatter. "With Snape, he's being a stubborn prick, and I don't want him to die because he refuses to believe I want to be with him."
Cadmus frowned. "Severus is fighting his true nature, his instincts. He is trying to protect you, human. You should not come into the water with him again," he warned.
"But he won't come with me at the end of the year either," Harry said, beginning to grow desperate, "and as much as I'd like to stay here, I just...I can't. And I don't know what to do."
"Then you must change his mind," Cadmus answered.
"But how?" Harry knew he'd have to get out of the water soon, or he'd get sick. "He's so set in his ways and every time I try to talk about it, he shoves me away. I don't think anyone has ever changed his mind before, ever!"
"If he did not care for you, he would not be trying to push you away from him. All the creatures of the lake know that he wants you; why do you doubt it? Stop leaving when he pushes; convince him that you want him in return. But do not allow him to bring you to the water again," he warned darkly. With a last steely look at Harry, Cadmus disappeared into the blackness.
Harry pulled his head out of the water, canceled the spell and sat back on the hard earth. He wiped at his wet face with his sleeves and shivered. Standing up, he ran back towards Hogwarts, amazed at how dark it was already.
It wasn't until he was on the stairs leading to the main doors that Harry remembered he was a bloody wizard and cast a warming charm on himself. By then it was too late, he was frozen to the bone and no charm was going to be able to fix it.
He could hear the chatter coming from the great hall and considered going in to dinner. But then he shivered and changed direction, taking the stairs two at a time until he was at Gryffindor tower. He went straight to the bathroom and stripped out of his stiff, frozen clothes and stepped under the tepid spray of the shower.
He shuddered as the water scalded his back and neck and let his forehead drop against the wall. They had all given him the same warning; don't let me/him bring him into the lake. Harry coughed and rubbed his nose, but what if he wanted to disappear into its depths, what right did they have to tell him no?
One thing was for certain, when he went back to see Snape that night, they were going to talk, even if they had to scream at each other to do it.
*****
Snape knew the moment Harry stepped into the room that he was going be difficult. The look of determination in his green eyes told Snape it was going to be a long night.
"Begin your warm ups," Snape said tiredly.
Harry did as instructed and tuned his new instrument, before running through the scales quickly and methodically, occasionally changing from whole notes, to half and quarter notes, at one time he attempted to go up and down the A major scale in staccato, but stumbled over a few notes, however, he got it right the second time through and waited for further instructions.
"Did you look over the music I gave you the last time we met?" Snape asked, finally looking up from his desk.
"No."
Snape leaned back in his chair and arched his brow. "And why not?"
"Because I was busy with other things," Harry answered.
"If you're not willing to put in the time needed, then you're wasting my time."
Harry shrugged, twisting the pegs on the neck of the violin idly. "I am putting in the time needed."
"We're talking in circles. Spit out what ever it is you're dancing around so we can move on," Snape said, shaking his head.
"We need to talk, or fight, or throw things at each other or something. I don't know which at this point."
"If you throw something at me, you'll be in detention for a week," Snape warned. "What are we fighting about this time?"
"Your stubborn self."
"So nothing new then?" Snape said with a tight smile. "Can we continue with your lesson now?"
"No, we cannot."
"Then do tell, what is your problem tonight?"
"It's the same problem as before, only now I'm determined to make you understand my point."
"Then perhaps you could get to your point instead of making me drag it out of you," Snape said irritably.
Harry frowned. "I talked to Cadmus today."
Snape scowled. "Why?"
"Because no one else would talk to me."
"Damn it, Potter. Stop beating around the bush and get to the point!"
Harry looked away for a moment. "Why do you keep shoving me away?"
"Because I am trying to protect you," Snape answered, enunciating each word clearly.
"But from what? From you? What is it you're protecting me from?"
"Yes, from me! From being tied to someone twice your age, who, on a good day, you can hardly stomach! And if you do come to care for me, then what? What will you do when the pull to return to the water becomes too much for me? How will you feel when I leave you? Or even worse, what if I can't stand to be without you, so I drag you down with me? Is that what you want for your life?" Snape asked, disgusted.
"It's a hell of a lot better than what I have right now!"
"How can it be better? In a few months you'll be free of this. Of me!"
"But I don't want to be!" Harry protested, almost ready to stomp his feet in irritation. "I don't!"
"Then you're a fool!" Snape replied, though his eyes had widened in surprise. The two stared at one another until Snape asked, "What is it you want and what makes you think I can give it to you?"
Harry shrugged uncomfortably. "It's just...I don't know...it's like you actually see me here and not just the idea of me. I don't know, that sounds so stupid."
Snape stood and ignoring Harry went into the other room. He returned a few moments later with a bottle of amber liquid and two glasses. He poured himself two fingers' worth and Harry considerably less before handing the boy a glass.
Harry took the glass offered to him and just held it, looking down at the floor. His violin was still clenched tightly by the neck in his left hand and the bow was discarded on the floor. He stared into the opaque alcohol before knocking it back in a single gulp.
"I can't take you into the water again," Snape said quietly. "The rest...we'll work out." He tossed back the liquor and poured himself another glass.
"Will we?" Harry asked, not raising his eyes.
"If you're sure it's what you want," Snape answered, needing Harry to be certain.
"I am." Harry's risked lifting his eyes. "I said that once before, and I still am."
Snape nodded and stared into his glass, wondering if Albus was going to fire him on the spot or let him finish out the term. Either way, he'd have to leave Hogwarts.
"You...you do want me around though, right?"
Snape looked at him, considering. Did he? Would Harry be enough for him to be, if not happy, at least content for a time, away from the water?
"Yes, I do. Though whether it will be enough, I don't know," he answered honestly.
Harry looked up slowly and gave Snape a hesitant smile. He set down his empty glass on the table, before bending over and picking up the bow again.
"I'm ready to learn now."
Next Chapter: Chapter Fifteen
Author: faynia and stormypup
Pairing: Snape/Harry
Rating: R
Word Count: 3000
Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama
Summary: Harry has never been entranced by music before now, but he is willing to do anything to learn how to play the same melody.
Beta'd by rakina.
Previous Chapters:
Chapter One
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Draco was pissed off. It wasn't hard to guess what had Potter all riled up today. There was only one person, aside from himself, that could piss Potty off and that was his godfather. He stormed through the winding corridors of the dungeons and knocked loudly on the portrait guarding Snape's rooms. The woman in the portrait sniffed disdainfully, but after one well chosen, rude gesture she buggered off.
He stepped back when he heard movement within and folded his arms across his chest with a churlish expression.
A moment later, Snape opened the door.
"Well, Potter is well and truly pissed off which means you turned him down, which means you're still being a stubborn prat," Draco said without so much as a hello.
Snape pinched the bridge of his nose. "This is not up for discussion, Draco."
"Like hell it isn't. Potter wants to be with you and you still push him away. Do you want to die that badly?"
He gasped as he was suddenly pulled through the portrait hole and into Snape's quarters by the collar.
Snape unceremoniously dropped Draco onto the couch. "Potter doesn't want to be with me, you fool, he just wants to assuage his own guilt for being an utter idiot and putting us in this mess."
"Well, isn't that enough?"
"No, it bloody well isn't!" Severus snapped. "Honestly Draco, can you picture it? I follow Potter off to wherever it is he plans to go after school. And we do what, exactly? Set up house, perhaps with a little cottage with a lovely pond outside?"
"You could always take him into the lake," Draco pointed out.
"No! That is the one thing I will not do!" Snape ground out.
"So then you do want to die."
"Of course I don't want to die!" Snape shouted. "But I won't force him to spend the rest of his life in the lake! You know that if I take him down, he can never leave it. Ever. He won't just be tied to me, he'll be tied to the lake."
"Well, you don't have much of a choice do you!" Draco yelled back.
"The lake is my home, but I can leave it for long periods of time, Harry wouldn't have that luxury. He could never leave its boundaries."
Draco shrugged. "Better than you dying from a broken heart."
"Answer me this then, Draco," Snape said, his voice becoming low and soothing. "What if you were told that McGongall was dying because of something you did and the only way to save her was to make her your mate. Are you saying you'd do it?"
Draco opened his mouth to protest that it was completely different than stopped himself, "If it meant not dying; but that's really unfair, Uncle Severus, she's got at least forty years on you!"
"The point is, you would not wish to be tied down to someone so...old, now would you?"
"You are not old by any standards, and I highly doubt Potter would be so upset if he thought you were ancient."
"Draco, what do you want me to say?" Snape asked in exasperation.
"I want you to say that you won't push Potter away if he comes to you again. I want to hear you say it, because really there's only so much of Granger's shrieking that one can endure."
Snape sighed and scrubbed his face with his hands before facing Draco. "I promise I will not push him away, but that is the limit of it. Now just...go and stop worrying so much," Snape groused, waving toward the door.
"It's not like you seem to be," Draco muttered, before taking his leave of his godfather.
Snape closed the door behind Draco and rested his forehead against it. He agreed not to push Harry away. He could do that when the time came. For now, he'd put up with it. Who knew, maybe it could work. For awhile anyway.
*****
Harry sat cross legged on his bed, his violin lying out of its case in front of him. He reached out fingering the strings, knowing it was still tuned without even testing it. Ron shifted uncomfortably on his own bed, waiting for Harry to tell him what he wanted.
"Has Snape always been stubborn?" Harry asked, picking up the instrument and settling it on his lap.
"I reckon he was born that way," Ron answered. "You ever known him when he wasn't the uptight, cranky pain-in-the-arse he always is?"
Harry's eyes flickered over to meet Ron's gaze. "Yes. Twice."
Ron scoffed at that. "Come on Harry, you know what I mean, that man doesn't change. He's always a mean-spirited git intent on making our lives miserable, you more than most!"
"Yes, he is when he's here in the castle," Harry agreed, inhaling and the exhaling with a shake. "He's… he's never happy here."
"Look mate, what are you gettin' at?" Ron asked, studying Harry closely.
"I don't know, Ron. I really don't. I don't know what to do and it should be so easy, but it isn't and I just don't know what to do anymore."
Ron hopped to his feet. "Come on then," Ron said, rustling around in their trunks to pull out their brooms.
"What are you doing?" Harry asked, laughing.
"We're going to do the one thing that's easy, then maybe some of the harder answers will come to you. And if that fails, at least we'll have got out of the castle for awhile," Ron added, grinning.
Harry looked at him with a suspicious smile. "Where are we going then?" He placed his violin back in its case and stood up.
"Flying, ya daft prat. I figure we can grab a practice Snitch and have a bit of fun while we can!"
Harry laughed and shook his head, "As if you'll win."
Ron cuffed Harry on the back of his head. "Come on, we haven't got all day now, have we!'
Still laughing, the two boys headed for the outdoors so Harry could clear his head.
Harry grabbed their brooms out of the broom shed out on the grounds and ran out onto the pitch. He tossed Ron his broom and jumped on his own. He hadn't realized how much he had missed this. With the autumn season over and the weather being like it had, he hadn't gone outside to fly.
Harry zoomed up towards the clouds, before flipping over and careening back down, pulling up when he reached the same height as the top of the goal posts. Ron was still standing on the ground below him and Harry could see, even from all the way up here, that he was rolling his eyes.
"What are you waiting for?"
"Just waiting for you to get up there so I could release the Snitch," Ron said, opening the small box and holding it up. The Snitch was gone in an instant.
"Game on!" Ron shouted, jumping on to his broom and racing for the sky.
*****
Two hours and five matches later, they drifted back towards the ground, the sky darkening by the minute.
Harry grinned over at Ron as they touched earth. His fingers held the Snitch tightly, as he went to put it back in its box.
Once it was safely put away, Ron slung an arm around Harry's shoulder as they walked back to the castle. "Well mate, did that help clear your brain up a bit?"
"Yeah, it did. You're a genius sometimes, anyone ever tell you that?"
Ron grinned and his ears turned red with embarrassed pleasure. "So what's the plan?"
"Still don't know, but that's not as scary anymore." Harry gave him a lopsided grin as they made to put away their broomsticks. He paused as he shut the door, looking in the direction of the lake with a thoughtful stare. "Hey Ron, do me a favor?"
Seeing the direction of Harry's gaze, Ron tensed. "Depends on the favor."
"I might not be at dinner. Can you make sure Hermione keeps her gob shut about it? Malfoy's shoves have been extra painful recently and I'm inclined to blame her."
Ron frowned. "You sure you know what you're doin'?"
"No clue, but I need to talk to someone on Snape's side and there's only one place where they are."
Ron nodded reluctantly. "Alright mate, but be careful alright? Don't let any of them lake people do anything fishy." Ron smiled. "Lake people? Fish? Sometimes I think I'm brilliant. Anyway, I'll get Hermione out of your hair." He slapped Harry on the shoulder. "Be careful, Harry," he said, and with a sad smile he left Harry to his own devices.
Harry waited until Ron disappeared from sight before rushing down to the lake. He knew this was potentially dangerous but what choice did he have at this point? Dumbledore was out of the question, because he knew that he would discourage him, Hermione wouldn't be much of a help, if he told her any of his problems she'd blush furiously and change the topic. He had already gone to Malfoy and while he knew he'd probably have to attempt that half-arsed plan someday it didn't have to be yet. He didn't doubt for a second that Snape would know what he was trying to do and somehow he got the feeling the man wouldn't be overly appreciative about it.
He kneeled at the edge of the lake, drew his wand out of his pocket and quickly cast the bubblehead charm, before plunging his head into the freezing cold water.
Harry gasped, his eyes widened and his entire body shook. Perhaps this wasn't the smartest choice.
"Cadmus!" Harry shouted, only hoping the merman would hear him all the way at the bottom of the lake.
Harry waited, repeating the yell every fifteen seconds, knowing he couldn't do this for much longer. Without Snape, the water was freezing and he was shaking uncontrollably.
Seemingly out of nowhere, a face appeared before him and Harry pulled out of the water, startled. He quickly dunked his head down again to find Cadmus waiting. "What is it?" he asked, scowling at Harry.
"I need help."
Cadmus' tail swished in irritation. "With what?"
Harry sighed, his head ached from the cold and his teeth were beginning to chatter. "With Snape, he's being a stubborn prick, and I don't want him to die because he refuses to believe I want to be with him."
Cadmus frowned. "Severus is fighting his true nature, his instincts. He is trying to protect you, human. You should not come into the water with him again," he warned.
"But he won't come with me at the end of the year either," Harry said, beginning to grow desperate, "and as much as I'd like to stay here, I just...I can't. And I don't know what to do."
"Then you must change his mind," Cadmus answered.
"But how?" Harry knew he'd have to get out of the water soon, or he'd get sick. "He's so set in his ways and every time I try to talk about it, he shoves me away. I don't think anyone has ever changed his mind before, ever!"
"If he did not care for you, he would not be trying to push you away from him. All the creatures of the lake know that he wants you; why do you doubt it? Stop leaving when he pushes; convince him that you want him in return. But do not allow him to bring you to the water again," he warned darkly. With a last steely look at Harry, Cadmus disappeared into the blackness.
Harry pulled his head out of the water, canceled the spell and sat back on the hard earth. He wiped at his wet face with his sleeves and shivered. Standing up, he ran back towards Hogwarts, amazed at how dark it was already.
It wasn't until he was on the stairs leading to the main doors that Harry remembered he was a bloody wizard and cast a warming charm on himself. By then it was too late, he was frozen to the bone and no charm was going to be able to fix it.
He could hear the chatter coming from the great hall and considered going in to dinner. But then he shivered and changed direction, taking the stairs two at a time until he was at Gryffindor tower. He went straight to the bathroom and stripped out of his stiff, frozen clothes and stepped under the tepid spray of the shower.
He shuddered as the water scalded his back and neck and let his forehead drop against the wall. They had all given him the same warning; don't let me/him bring him into the lake. Harry coughed and rubbed his nose, but what if he wanted to disappear into its depths, what right did they have to tell him no?
One thing was for certain, when he went back to see Snape that night, they were going to talk, even if they had to scream at each other to do it.
*****
Snape knew the moment Harry stepped into the room that he was going be difficult. The look of determination in his green eyes told Snape it was going to be a long night.
"Begin your warm ups," Snape said tiredly.
Harry did as instructed and tuned his new instrument, before running through the scales quickly and methodically, occasionally changing from whole notes, to half and quarter notes, at one time he attempted to go up and down the A major scale in staccato, but stumbled over a few notes, however, he got it right the second time through and waited for further instructions.
"Did you look over the music I gave you the last time we met?" Snape asked, finally looking up from his desk.
"No."
Snape leaned back in his chair and arched his brow. "And why not?"
"Because I was busy with other things," Harry answered.
"If you're not willing to put in the time needed, then you're wasting my time."
Harry shrugged, twisting the pegs on the neck of the violin idly. "I am putting in the time needed."
"We're talking in circles. Spit out what ever it is you're dancing around so we can move on," Snape said, shaking his head.
"We need to talk, or fight, or throw things at each other or something. I don't know which at this point."
"If you throw something at me, you'll be in detention for a week," Snape warned. "What are we fighting about this time?"
"Your stubborn self."
"So nothing new then?" Snape said with a tight smile. "Can we continue with your lesson now?"
"No, we cannot."
"Then do tell, what is your problem tonight?"
"It's the same problem as before, only now I'm determined to make you understand my point."
"Then perhaps you could get to your point instead of making me drag it out of you," Snape said irritably.
Harry frowned. "I talked to Cadmus today."
Snape scowled. "Why?"
"Because no one else would talk to me."
"Damn it, Potter. Stop beating around the bush and get to the point!"
Harry looked away for a moment. "Why do you keep shoving me away?"
"Because I am trying to protect you," Snape answered, enunciating each word clearly.
"But from what? From you? What is it you're protecting me from?"
"Yes, from me! From being tied to someone twice your age, who, on a good day, you can hardly stomach! And if you do come to care for me, then what? What will you do when the pull to return to the water becomes too much for me? How will you feel when I leave you? Or even worse, what if I can't stand to be without you, so I drag you down with me? Is that what you want for your life?" Snape asked, disgusted.
"It's a hell of a lot better than what I have right now!"
"How can it be better? In a few months you'll be free of this. Of me!"
"But I don't want to be!" Harry protested, almost ready to stomp his feet in irritation. "I don't!"
"Then you're a fool!" Snape replied, though his eyes had widened in surprise. The two stared at one another until Snape asked, "What is it you want and what makes you think I can give it to you?"
Harry shrugged uncomfortably. "It's just...I don't know...it's like you actually see me here and not just the idea of me. I don't know, that sounds so stupid."
Snape stood and ignoring Harry went into the other room. He returned a few moments later with a bottle of amber liquid and two glasses. He poured himself two fingers' worth and Harry considerably less before handing the boy a glass.
Harry took the glass offered to him and just held it, looking down at the floor. His violin was still clenched tightly by the neck in his left hand and the bow was discarded on the floor. He stared into the opaque alcohol before knocking it back in a single gulp.
"I can't take you into the water again," Snape said quietly. "The rest...we'll work out." He tossed back the liquor and poured himself another glass.
"Will we?" Harry asked, not raising his eyes.
"If you're sure it's what you want," Snape answered, needing Harry to be certain.
"I am." Harry's risked lifting his eyes. "I said that once before, and I still am."
Snape nodded and stared into his glass, wondering if Albus was going to fire him on the spot or let him finish out the term. Either way, he'd have to leave Hogwarts.
"You...you do want me around though, right?"
Snape looked at him, considering. Did he? Would Harry be enough for him to be, if not happy, at least content for a time, away from the water?
"Yes, I do. Though whether it will be enough, I don't know," he answered honestly.
Harry looked up slowly and gave Snape a hesitant smile. He set down his empty glass on the table, before bending over and picking up the bow again.
"I'm ready to learn now."
Next Chapter: Chapter Fifteen