[Fic] Bonds of Water 20/20 (NC-17) HP: HP/SS
Title: Bonds of Water (20/20)
Author: faynia and stormypup
Pairing: Snape/Harry
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 4336
Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama
Summary: Harry has never been entranced by music before now, but he is willing to do anything to learn how to play the same melody.
Beta'd by rakina.
Previous Chapters:
Chapter One
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Hermione smiled and sat beside Harry on the sofa. He grinned at her and pecked her cheek gently.
"Hey, you," she said nudging him.
Harry laughed. "Hey yourself."
"You're looking extremely pleased," Hermione said, studying him.
"Well, I'm feeling extremely pleased."
"I can tell. Did you have a good night with Snape?" Hermione asked.
Harry blushed and hung his head, trying to hide his grin. "It was brilliant actually."
"Well, then share!" Hermione said excitedly.
Harry glanced around, but nobody seemed to be paying them any attention. "We kind of...did it," he whispered, feeling both smug and embarrassed.
Hermione let out a high-pitched squeal and grabbed his hands. "You didn't! Harry, that's just--was it good?"
"Shhh!" he cried and would have put a hand over her mouth if she didn't have such a tight grip on them. In the back of his mind he wondered why his nighttime expedition merited breaking their unspoken code of 'don’t ask, don’t tell'. "And yes, it was good. It was great. I think. It's not like I have anything to compare it to."
"What was great?" Ron asked, sitting on the arm of the couch.
"Sex, Ron."
Ron shut his eyes tightly and shook his head. "Honestly mate, as long as you're happy, but please don't share the details with her, or I'll end up hearing them as well."
Hermione shoved Ron off the couch. "Go away then!"
Harry buried his face in hands, feeling the flush all the way up to his ears.
"Oi!" Ron cried, righting himself before he hit the floor.
"Can you three knock it off, we're trying to study!"
"Go to the library!" Ron cried, throwing a pillow at the fourth year.
The younger boy blocked the pillow and scowled. "This is our common room too!"
"Common being the operative word, now mind your own business!"
Hermione ignored Ron, too happy for Harry to get onto him about being mean to the younger kids. "So are you alright? I mean, are you sore?" she asked, whispering conspiratorially.
"Hermione!" Harry and Ron yelped at the same time.
"It's a valid question!" Hermione said, scowling at the two of them. "There can often be tearing of the tissue."
Ron groaned. "Why do you know so much about this?"
"Because I read, Ronald," Hermione said dismissively. "Did he prepare you first?" she asked clinically.
"Hermione!" they both shouted with wide-eyed horror.
"Did he?" she pressed.
"Yes," Harry said through clenched teeth. "It was fine, can was stop talking about my...can we stop talking about that now?"
Hermione smirked and folded her hands on her lap primly. "Of course. But it's not every day my best friend loses his virginity."
Ron groaned. "Merlin, Hermione, do you have to say it like that? Harry's a guy. He got laid. He didn't 'lose his virginity'," he said in a high, singsong voice.
"I'm not crude, like some."
"Then plug your ears," Ron warned. "Was it alright? I mean, you got off and stuff right? That's all I care about."
Harry shot him a dirty look. "I thought we weren't talking about this any more." After a pause, he grinned half-heartedly. "But yeah, I did."
"See Hermione, it was good. Now, I can't believe I'm about to say this, but can we study for NEWTs? I'm screwed." Ron looked sheepishly at Hermione, then winked at Harry behind her back.
"Thanks," Harry mouthed.
Studying could only last so long, but for Harry it seemed to drag on forever. The only upside was that Hermione actually seemed impressed by how much he knew and she let him off lightly.
"Mione," Ron whined.
"You wanted to study, Ron."
"But not all afternoon!"
Harry shut the book he had been reading and cast it aside. "It's almost dinner."
Hermione pursed her lips and followed Harry's example. "Fine, but don't think you're getting out of studying later, Ron. The NEWTs are next week!"
Ron looked at Harry pleadingly. "Ah, Hermione, I could really use Ron's help. Can you spare him for a bit after we eat?"
"Fine," she said, getting off the couch. "But only for an hour or so. You really do need to study, Ron."
"Right, will do," Ron said, shoving Harry toward the portrait door. Once they were outside, Ron let out a huge sigh. "Thanks mate."
"I owed you," Harry said, slugging him on the shoulder.
"You alright, then? Happy, or whatever?" Ron asked awkwardly.
"Yeah I'm happy, or whatever. I'm also starving, so let's go!"
Ron grinned, slung an arm over Harry's shoulder and mock-wrestled their way to the Great Hall.
Ginny didn't know what to think anymore. Harry used to pay attention to her, and now all he paid attention to was his violin. It hurt, more than she wanted to admit. Why would an instrument have more hold over him than her? She was pretty enough, wasn't she?
She gazed at her reflection in her pumpkin juice for a moment before taking a sip of it. It was early still, however she would wait. The dinner rush didn't start until 5:30 and at least here she managed to grab some of Harry's attention.
It wasn't like she really liked Harry that way any more either. No, she just found it unfair that Draco Malfoy got more of Harry's attention nowadays than she did. Wasn't she still his friend? Didn't she matter any more? Maybe--maybe Harry just didn't like her now. The thought hung heavily in her mind and she couldn't shake it.
Hearing familiar laughter, she looked towards the entrance and smiled. Ginny waved Harry and Ron over to where she was and they sat down on either side of her, Ron ruffling her hair, and Harry grinning hugely. He shifted on the bench for a few moments before going still.
"Hey," she said in greeting, leaning over and kissing Harry's cheek.
Harry laughed and returned the gesture.
Snape saw red, though the only outward expression of his anger was the tightening of his body. He reminded himself that the chit meant nothing to Potter, that she was like a little sister. So why was she hanging all over him? He gripped the goblet of pumpkin juice in front of him, his knuckles turning white when Harry didn’t push Ginny away.
The sound of glass breaking at the high table drew the students attention. Harry looked up to see the dark, angry eyes of Severus Snape, no, his mate, burning a hole into him.
He didn't see Ginny lean over to whisper something in his ear. Harry watched in horror as Snape stormed down from the head table, quickly followed by McGonagall, who was trying to grab his robes and stop him. Before Ginny even had a clue this was about her, Snape was pulling her up by the back of her robes. "Unhand my mate," he hissed through clenched teeth.
Ginny shrieked and the few occupants of the Great Hall went silent. Harry wanted the seat to swallow him whole. Snape snarled again, a low animalistic sound that set the hair on Harry's arms on end.
"Severus, unhand Miss Weasley at once!"
Harry grabbed a fistful of Snape's robes just out of sight of half the hall and pulled. "Let her go, please."
Snape released her and stepped back, his anger turning to horrified embarrassment. "I -," he swallowed thickly. "Miss Weasley, I apologize," he said, looking at Harry. "Excuse me, I must see the Headmaster."
Turning on his heel, he fled the Great Hall.
Harry met McGonagall's concerned stare and he shook his head as he stood up. "I'm sorry," he murmured.
Ginny's expression went from horror to confusion. "What? Wait! Where are you going?"
Harry didn't stop to answer as he chased after Snape, unable to shake his worry and fear.
He caught up to the man in the corridor leading to Dumbledore's office. He grabbed him the sleeve of his robes. "Snape! Severus! Wait."
Snape stopped, looking at Harry with a haunted expression.
Harry looked around the corridor with wide eyes as he attempted to regain his breath. It stung that Snape appeared ready to brush him aside again. Frustration ran through him like an out-of-control hippogriff and he gripped his nails into Snape's wrist.
"What was that all about?"
"I wanted to tear her apart," Snape said through clenched teeth. "She kept touching you and I wanted to kill her. I didn't know it would be like this," Snape said, staring at a point over Harry's shoulder. "I didn't know I would feel so much. I should have waited to claim you," he said, finally looking at Harry.
Harry released a shaky breath and his grip loosened. "If someone wasn't there to stop you, would you have killed her?"
Snape shook his head. "I don't think so. I just wanted her to stop touching what was mine," he said, unable to control the growl that accompanied the words. "But I never should have laid hands on her. I wanted to hurt her, and had I not been stopped I don't know if I would have stopped myself. I have to speak with the Headmaster. I've got to leave."
"You're going to leave?" Harry whispered, feeling his throat clench.
"Would you rather I stay and throttle anyone who gets near you?" Snape shouted. "Do you even realize what just happened? I practically announced to the whole school that you are mine!"
Harry winced and stepped backwards, uncertain what to do now. "Well, running away isn't going to fix the problem," he snapped.
"How can they let me stay?" Snape asked, deflated. "I physically assaulted a student."
"But--"
Snape held his gaze for a moment and Harry had to break the stare first.
"But, what? What would you have me do, Harry?" The question was soft and pleading and Harry hung his head.
"I don't want you to leave."
Snape reached out and pulled Harry to him, inhaling his scent and settling his nerves. "Would you like to come with me to speak with the Headmaster? You have the right to know what is to happen to me."
"I'd like that."
Snape nodded, releasing Harry long enough to clasp his hand, and together they went to face the Headmaster.
*****
Hermione had seen Harry fly out of the Great Hall like Voldemort himself was chasing him. She didn't even get a chance to find out where he was rushing off to, but from the sheer panic in his eyes, she guessed it couldn't be good.
Entering the Great Hall, she found herself amidst chaos. Hermione quickly made her way down the rows of tables and slipped onto the bench next to Ron.
"What happened?" she asked, looking between Ron's pale face and Ginny's rapidly purpling one.
Ron shook his head in bewilderment. "One second we were just sitting here, and the next Snape was breathing down our necks. He," Ron stopped and ran a hand down his face. "He lifted Ginny off her seat like she weighed nothing and then, Merlin, Hermione, I don't know what to make of this, but he practically spat in her face and told her to 'unhand his mate'. Hermione, I've seen Snape before, but he looked ready to kill anyone who so much as breathed in Harry's direction."
"What I'd like to know," Ginny cut in, "is why Snape called Harry his 'mate' in the first place."
Hermione took Ginny by the arm, leading her out of the Great Hall. "Because, for all intents and purposes. he is! They entered into a magical contract," Hermione whispered. "Did he hurt you?" she asked, looking Ginny over carefully.
Ginny nodded and pulled down the collar of her shirt to show where it had choked her. She frowned trying to make sense of what Hermione said, but magical contracts don't bind people in that way, at least, not normal magical contracts. "What exactly did Harry do again?"
Ron came up behind them. "Remember the bedtime story mum used to tell, the one about the Nix?"
Ginny glanced at her brother and shrugged. "You mean the water creature that the princess fell in love with and he took her back to his home underwater?"
"That's the one."
"What about it? It's just a fairy tale." Hermione sighed and Ginny felt something heavy settle in her stomach. "It is just a fairy tale, right?"
Ron settled a hand on her shoulder and spun her around so she was facing him. "Ginny, didn't you ever find it odd the way that mum ended those stories? Didn't you ever wonder why the princess was never seen again?"
"No, why? Why are we talking about this anyway?"
"Ginny, Snape is a Nix."
Ginny snorted and burst out laughing. "You're joking, right?"
Ron looked at her sadly and Ginny couldn't stop laughing. "It's a joke! Great ruse, you two; you really had me going for a second there. I mean, first Snape's a Nix, next you're going to tell me Harry's the princess that fell in love with him."
"Ginevra," Ron said harshly, shaking her. "Stop it."
Ginny's laughter stopped abruptly as she gazed at her brother in confusion. She could count on her hand the number of times her older brother had used her full name - on one hand.
"You aren't serious, are you?" She glanced over at Hermione and saw the same sympathetic expression on her face. "You two really believe Snape is a Nix?"
"No, we know he is," Hermione murmured, reaching out and brushing a lock of red hair off the younger girl's freckled face.
Ginny pulled back from the two seventh years with an incredulous look. "And who told you this? Snape himself?"
"Professor Snape," Hermione corrected with a gentle tone, "and no, Headmaster Dumbledore did."
Ginny felt her stomach drop. They weren't joking. "So what, you're telling me Snape is a Nix and he's going to disappear with Harry into a lake?"
"Not necessarily," Hermione corrected.
Ginny shook her head. "This is absurd. Harry's not even gay!" Her eyes widened. "Is he?"
Hermione bit her lip and looked at Ron helplessly. "I don't think so, at least, he's never mentioned it to me."
"Me neither," Ron murmured.
"Then he can't be Snape's mate. They have to have sex, or it won't work," Ginny said, feeling a sense of relief. At least until Ron and Hermione exchanged knowing glances.
"They did?" Ginny asked, covering her mouth with her hand. "And Dumbledore knows? How could he let this happen?"
"He did try to prevent it from getting this far, but--"
"There's always a but," Ginny groaned.
"--But," Hermione continued, "There were even things he couldn't stop, not without hurting or even killing Snape."
"Snape said he was going to speak to Dumbledore. What do you think that means?" Ginny asked. "If he gets sacked, what happens to Harry?"
Ron glanced at Hermione before shaking his head. "I don't even want to think about it."
*****
Dumbledore sat at his desk, his fingers steepled under his chin as he stared at the two men. He was about to speak, when a knocking at the door interrupted him. Minerva McGonagall stepped inside without waiting for invitation. She looked at Harry and Snape and shook her head, her eyes full of worry.
"Is Miss Weasley alright, Minerva?" Dumbledore asked calmly.
"I believe so, though Miss Granger and her brother whisked her away before we could talk. Headmaster, what is to be done?" she asked, glancing at Harry and Snape once again.
"I have already tendered my resignation," Snape told her, his voice void of emotion.
"I'm sure that is unnecessary, Severus."
"That's what I told him," Harry grumbled, moving to stand next to the window.
"Need I remind you both that I assaulted a student?" Snape ground out.
"I'm sure that nobody is forgetting that, Severus," Dumbledore replied. "Minerva, could you please bring Miss Weasley to my office," Dumbledore asked mildly.
"Of course," McGonagall answered, hurrying from the room.
"Severus, I would like you to return to your quarters. Harry may join you if you wish," he told them. "Please wait there while I speak with Miss Weasley."
Harry turned from watching the students milling around the grounds to meet Snape's eyes. "All right, sir."
Snape nodded curtly and left the office with Harry close behind. "That's good, right - that he's going to talk to Ginny first?" Harry asked hopefully. "He could have fired you on the spot."
"This isn't going to end well, Harry," Snape replied, unable to look at his mate.
Harry's stomach clenched painfully and he reached out grabbing Snape's hand. He stared up at him, uncaring that he was now pressed against the man's arm in a public corridor. The whole school had to know by now what he was to Snape and if what Snape was saying was right, well, it didn't really matter either way.
"Don't say that," he begged.
Snape tightened his fingers around Harry's. "I'm only trying to prepare you. The Headmaster has no choice. I'm sure the owls are already arriving at the Ministry as we speak."
"If you leave, I'm going with you," Harry said, determined.
"You will not," Snape snapped. Harry flinched at the harsh tone, unused to being in the direct line of it for some time now.
"But--"
"Harry, you will stay here and finish out the year," said Snape in a rush. "Do you understand me?"
Harry gulped and nodded. "Yes."
They were reaching the more populated parts of the castle now, and Harry couldn't help but notice the curious stares and whispers of the students. He glared defiantly back at them as Snape ignored them completely.
"Haven't you got something better to do?" a voice asked from behind them.
Harry glanced over his shoulder, ready to tell someone off, but the words weren't directed at them. Draco was standing angrily over two Slytherins. "Bugger off," he told them and they scurried away.
"Did you get sacked?" Draco asked with no preamble.
"It's only a matter of time," Snape informed him as Draco fell in step beside them.
Draco glanced over at Harry and scowled. "This is your fault you know."
Harry stiffened for a fraction of a second, before his shoulders drooped forward. "Yeah, I know."
"Can we not discuss this in the hallway?" Snape hissed, glaring at the two young men on either side of them.
"Why?" Draco slanted a look at his godfather. "It's not like it's much of a secret anymore."
"Draco," Snape warned, and Draco held his tongue until they were behind the walls of Snape's quarters, where he let loose.
"Why the hell did you have to go spouting off about Potter being your mate? Not that I haven't wanted to strangle a Weasley before, but really did you have to?"
"Leave him alone, Malfoy!" Harry said, standing in front of Snape protectively, which just made Draco smirk. Snape rested a hand on Harry's shoulder.
"Enough," Snape said tiredly. "It's done," he said, scowling at Draco.
Harry tipped his head backwards and frowned. "So, we just sit here and wait then?"
Snape shrugged. "Yes."
"Bollocks," Harry grumbled, pulling away. He stalked across the room and picked up Snape's violin case. In quick, jerky movements, he opened it and pulled out the finely kept instrument. He went about twisting the pegs and plucking at the strings until he gave up. Who cared if it sounded like crap, especially right now?
He hadn't expected Snape to move beside him, but it was good that he did. Roughly, he handed the violin to him.
"Play something," he gritted out.
Snape wordlessly took the violin and began to play. It was a song of heartbreak, longing and despair. Harry sat on the floor at his feet, his arms wrapped around his knees, rocking back and forth.
Draco had turned away, unwilling to let either see the tears on his face.
Harry kept his eyes squeezed shut to prevent anymore tears from escaping, even as the sound huddled around him, beating him until he couldn't take it any longer. He wrapped his arms around Snape's legs, clinging desperately as he wiped his wet face against the man's trouser legs. Malfoy was right, this was all his fault. All of it, from the very beginning, had been his fault. He couldn't even pretend to be neutral anymore. His throat constricted and he let out a strangled sob.
As if sensing Harry's pain, the music abruptly stopped. "Draco, leave us please," Snape asked softly, and waited for the soft click of door before kneeling beside Harry and enveloping him in his arms.
"I'm sorry," Snape whispered as Harry clung to him, sobbing. "I'm sorry I did this to you."
"It's not your fault. You kept pushing me away. You kept trying to do the right thing."
"I was weak," Snape whispered angrily. "I should have kept pushing, but I wanted you." He held Harry tighter. "I wanted you. I'm sorry."
Harry buried his face against Snape's chest. This shouldn't hurt as much as it did. Snape could still be around tomorrow and the day after that, they just didn't know yet, but Merlin his whole body ached and he wondered if this was what dying felt like.
Harry's breath hitched in his throat as he tried to speak, but the words got stuck. "I--"
"Shh," Snape said, stroking Harry's hair. He knew that he could ask right now, ask Harry to come with him to the lake, and he would say yes. Harry would follow him to the very depths, knowing he would never return.
He clenched his teeth together, fighting the impulse with everything he had. He couldn't do that, not to Harry. But gods, how he wanted to.
The portrait swung open almost silently and Albus stepped through surveying the scene before him. With a heavy heart, he cleared his throat.
Snape raised his head, but Harry didn't bother. He understood now. There was no hope for clemency. Snape would be asked to leave, and Harry needed to decide whether to go with him. He promised Snape that he would finish out the year, but was there really any point? But Harry knew his decision already.
He finally raised his head and looked defiantly at Dumbledore.
"Harry, will you leave the room for a moment?"
Harry stood, his hand lingering on Snape's shoulder, before he went to the bedroom and shut the door. He wished he had asked Snape how to make the walls disappear like he had done before.
Dumbledore looked upon Snape with deep sadness. "Oh my boy," he said, his voice ripe with emotion. "That it has come to this."
"Just say it, Albus," Snape said, getting to his feet, back straight and proud.
"You know that I have no choice," Dumbledore told him sadly. "I have to ask you to leave."
Snape nodded. "And what of the boy?"
"Harry can finish his studies and graduate with the rest of his class. You are welcome to stay in the lake until that time, but I must ask that you keep well away from the students. And for Harry's own safety, I think we must ban him from the lake for the time being."
Snape snorted. "Has Harry ever listened to a ban on his behavior? You spoiled him, Albus; he doesn't fear consequences as he should."
"Then you must make him understand, Severus."
Harry lay on Snape's bed and curled into a ball, watching Snape's mum just as intently as Snape's mum was watching him back.
"I'm sorry," he croaked, gripping the pillow tightly. The dark haired woman shook her head with a scowl and Harry picked up the picture and rolled onto his back. "This is all my fault."
The woman rolled her eyes and Harry frowned. "It is! I never listen to anyone, and now your son is about to be expelled from the castle, I just know it, and it's all my fault!"
She shook her head and smiled at him sadly. She touched her fingers to her lips, and held her hand out towards Harry, causing a sob to rise in his throat.
Snape entered the room and took in the scene before him. He sat beside Harry, placing a hand on his back. "She was a Nix," Snape told him, smiling fondly at his mother. "My father ultimately chose to leave her. She understands better than anyone, Harry," he said, and his mother nodded, regarding Harry in particular.
"Did you get--"
"Yes."
Harry fell silent and stared down at Snape's mother as she sunned herself on a rock he now recognized from being beside the lake. "When are we leaving?"
"We, are not. I am leaving. You will finish out the term and graduate, and then we shall see."
"No!" Harry said, rolling from the bed and to his feet. "I'm going with you!"
"No, you are not," Snape said, his voice remaining calm. "Do not fight me on this, Harry. It's only for a few months."
"I don't trust you to come back," Harry said, shaking his head.
Snape closed his eyes, his hand drifting up to Harry's neck. "Stay."
"Here?"
"Yes, I don't want you to go tonight. Please stay," Snape said, diverting Harry away from the subject.
"Okay," Harry murmured, leaning into Snape's side. He smiled weakly as Snape's arm slipped around his shoulder and his head rested on top of his own.
Snape ran soothing circles on Harry's back, and waited for the boy to fall asleep. It didn't take long, Harry was exhausted. Snape allowed himself a few small moments with him before getting up from the bed.
He went to his desk and wrote a letter to Harry, and another to Dumbledore, outlining what to do with his possessions. That done, he grabbed his violin case and returned to Harry, placing it on the pillow next to him. He brushed back a lock of hair from Harry's forehead and removed his glasses, placing them on the bedside table.
He sat next to him, watching him sleep, his face troubled, even in his dreams. Snape knew he had to leave, before he couldn't do it. He leaned down and pressed his lips to Harry's forehead. "I love you, Harry. Please forgive me," he choked, then stood and left the room. He would tell Draco goodbye, as he had promised, and then he would leave the castle for good.
*****
Harry groaned when something hit the side of his head. He tried to bat away the assailant and found his hand connected with something hard. He opened his eyes slowly, trying to adjust to the darkness of the room.
He felt around the bed beside him, fear curling in the pit of his stomach as his fingers brushed against leather. He gripped the case strongly, and stiffly pulled it onto his lap. Tears pricked the corner of his eyes as he swung his feet over the side of the bed, not even feeling the chill of the floor. Grabbing up his wand, he cast Lumos and bathed the room in yellowed light. It was empty, as he had feared.
Clinging to the instrument in his hands, he crossed the room in silence to the desk where two pieces of parchment lay. He set the violin on the smooth surface as he examined the letters. Snape's sharp handwriting was scrolled over the two pages and he picked up the one with his name at the top.
It was short - too short in Harry's mind - just a single paragraph that said nothing he hadn't heard before. He wiped his nose on his sleeve, crumpling the parchment in his hand. He was tempted to read the letter to Dumbledore, but he couldn't bring himself to look.
He went to the bed and sat down, staring blankly at the wall. He wished he knew the spell so he could see into the lake. Would he see Snape there, on the outside looking in? Alone.
Harry un-crumpled the paper and read it again, finding no more satisfaction in it than the first time. He got to his feet and stormed from the room and out of Snape's quarters. He didn't care if it was the middle of the night; he knew Snape wouldn't leave without saying goodbye to Draco. He'd find Draco and get the answers he was looking for!
With that plan firmly in mind, he wound his way through the twisted corridors and came to a stop in front of the stone wall concealing the Slytherin Common room.
Standing outside, he had no idea what to do next, considering it was the middle of the night. He tried pounding on the wall, but there was no response. Running his hands through his hair in agitation, he made his way from the dungeons in search of one of the Hogwarts ghosts. Maybe he could convince Nearly Headless Nick to wake Draco up for him.
He needn't have bothered. Harry met Draco on the stairs, and Harry thought if he looked half has horrible as Draco, he must look like absolute pixie shit. Draco's hair was a mess, and his eyes were rimmed red as he scowled angrily at Harry.
Harry didn't even hesitate before shoving Draco up against the wall and pinning him there by his arm.
"Where did he go?" he snarled.
"Where do you think he went, Potter?" Draco growled, shoving Harry away. "He's gone to the lake. He's going to bloody die down there, and if you don't stop it from happening, I swear to god I'll kill you," Draco snarled.
"How long ago since he left?"
"About twenty minutes. You'd better hurry."
Harry nodded and began to take the stairs two at a time. "Potter!"
Harry stopped at the top, looking down at Draco. "Don't take no for an answer."
"Not a chance," Harry replied, and took off at a run.
His feet barely touched the floor as he bolted through the castle, not even caring that Mrs. Norris was yowling as he flew past. His heart raced quickly and adrenaline pumped through his veins making him go faster than he had ever run before.
Harry knew he had to get to the lake before Snape disappeared beneath the surface, he felt it acutely in the way his muscles stretched and burned and knew he'd only feel worse if Snape succeeded in leaving the surface world.
"Harry!" Two arms caught him around the shoulder and he was forced to a stop. He looked up to see his best friend gazing at him worriedly. "What happened?"
"No time to explain, Ron, trust me, just let me go."
To his shock Ron did and Harry stumbled forward, crashing to his knees hard.
"It's pouring outside, mate, and it's midnight."
"So?" Harry panted, getting up to his feet slowly.
"I'm not letting you go out there alone. I'm going with you."
Harry nodded and took off again, not even bothering to give Ron a verbal answer. If the redhead wanted to come with him, so be it, but now he had to put on even more speed if he ever was going to reach Snape in time. Tears streamed down his face unnoticed as he burst out of the front doors into the downpour. He gasped as cold water assaulted his heaving body. He barely heard Ron behind him as he stepped onto the squelching mud-covered grounds and took off, slipping and sliding as he careened towards the lake.
The rain blinded him, seeping behind his glasses and making the dark journey even more impossible. He reached the hill overlooking the lake by sheer luck and stumbled to a stop. He squinted down at the illuminated figure below.
Snape had brought a lantern with him and it rested on the shore. It's like cast an eerie glow on the lake, yet it was the man wading in the shallows that caused him grief.
"Severus," he hollered over the wind and driving rain. He moved forward down the hill, slipping dangerously, kicking up mud as he went. "Please, wait!"
He caught his footing as the hill leveled off into the sandy shore. Snape was waist-deep in the water and Harry knew that one more step would send him out of his life, possibly forever. "Please," he cried.
Snape heard the cry, and hesitated. Closing his eyes, he took another step into the water, Harry's cries echoing all around him. He felt as though his heart was shattering into pieces as he waded further out into the lake.
But he couldn't take the final step, the one that would put him out of Harry's life forever. He choked back a sob. Please.
He raised his face to the sky, wanting to scream out his pain to the heavens, but he clenched his jaw tight, refusing. Then two hands were on his shoulder.
Harry.
When he opened his eyes, it was not to find Harry, but Cadmus. "You've put this off for too long, Severus. It's time to come home," the Merman told him gently.
Nodding, his tears mixing with the rain, Snape followed Cadmus into the water, Harry's cries fading away. If only the pain could be blocked just as easily. He now understood how it was that his kind could die without their mate. He was dying by the second, and at the moment, he welcomed it.
"NO!" Harry's heart stopped for a second, before shuddering to a start too fast. He ran into the water, not caring that there was no spell on him, not caring that if he lived through this Snape would probably kill him, not caring that he could die. "NO!
Strong arms wrapped around his waist and chest and started pulling him backwards out of the darkened depths. "Let me go! Let me go, let me GO!" Harry twisted and lashed out, arms and legs thrashing sending water into the air.
"No," Ron grunted, still pulling him backwards. Harry pulled more forcefully, and managed to dislodge Ron's arm from his chest and he surged forward once more. Ron caught him tightly and tugged him backwards against his chest. "No," he repeated.
Harry collapsed. The muscles in his legs and arms gave out as they reached the shore and Ron sat down on the muddy bank, holding him.
"Why didn't you let me go?"
"It's too late, Harry. You have to let him go, he's doing this for you," Ron told him, holding him tightly. "And I'm not ready to lose you."
Harry trembled, his eyes slipping shut as Ron held him. "But I'm not ready to lose him."
"I know, mate," Ron whispered, kissing the side of Harry's head. "I know."
"I'm not going back inside," Harry murmured into the silence.
They were both soaked and shivering, but Ron knew Harry meant it. He reached into his robes for wand, then cast an umbrella spell, followed by a drying and warming spell. "Thanks," Harry murmured, staring out into the dark water.
He blinked into the dimly lit area lit by Snape's lantern, which flickered as rain managed to get inside the enclosed part, slowly but surely extinguishing its light. Darkness pressed around them, and soon, Harry found himself nodding off to the hypnotic sounds of the rain falling and the water lapping against the shore.
*****
Snape knew he was still there, waiting on the shore, waiting for him. He had been swimming in agitated circles, fighting the urge to poke his head above the water, just to make sure Harry was alright.
He saw when the light went out, the surface of the lake become dark once more. Cadmus had been watching him carefully, ready to step in if necessary. But now he was finally gone, leaving Snape alone.
Knowing he was making a mistake, Snape swam to the surface, needing to be certain that Harry was back in the castle, safe from the elements and safe from him.
He hadn't expected to find Harry there, sleeping wrapped in the arms of Weasley. Had Harry been gone, or even alone, Snape might have been able to swim away. But his mate was being comforted by another, protected by another, and it was too much.
Keeping his body below the water he swam slowly so as not to disturb the surface. He kept close to the sheet rock below him, his skin brushing against it as he drew closer to the shore. Snaking a hand out of the water, he gently grabbed Harry's ankle and tugged. Weasley's arm fell off the boy making his job easier.
There was nothing stopping him now. Inch by precious inch, he pulled Harry into the water, mindful of not waking the other boy. Moving backwards in a single smooth motion, Harry's entire body submerged in the shallow water, save his head. With one swift tug of the leg, Harry's head slipped under.
Harry awoke with a start as he began to choke. His eyes opened, but he could see nothing but dark and murky water around him. He tried to kick to the surface, but he was being pulled downward. He was running out of air, and he tried to scream, but the sound was swallowed up by the water.
He tipped his head back emitting a pained cry towards the brightening sky as dawn broke above him. Then his world went dark, and he knew no more.
Next Chapter: Epilogue
Author: faynia and stormypup
Pairing: Snape/Harry
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 4336
Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama
Summary: Harry has never been entranced by music before now, but he is willing to do anything to learn how to play the same melody.
Beta'd by rakina.
Previous Chapters:
Chapter One
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Hermione smiled and sat beside Harry on the sofa. He grinned at her and pecked her cheek gently.
"Hey, you," she said nudging him.
Harry laughed. "Hey yourself."
"You're looking extremely pleased," Hermione said, studying him.
"Well, I'm feeling extremely pleased."
"I can tell. Did you have a good night with Snape?" Hermione asked.
Harry blushed and hung his head, trying to hide his grin. "It was brilliant actually."
"Well, then share!" Hermione said excitedly.
Harry glanced around, but nobody seemed to be paying them any attention. "We kind of...did it," he whispered, feeling both smug and embarrassed.
Hermione let out a high-pitched squeal and grabbed his hands. "You didn't! Harry, that's just--was it good?"
"Shhh!" he cried and would have put a hand over her mouth if she didn't have such a tight grip on them. In the back of his mind he wondered why his nighttime expedition merited breaking their unspoken code of 'don’t ask, don’t tell'. "And yes, it was good. It was great. I think. It's not like I have anything to compare it to."
"What was great?" Ron asked, sitting on the arm of the couch.
"Sex, Ron."
Ron shut his eyes tightly and shook his head. "Honestly mate, as long as you're happy, but please don't share the details with her, or I'll end up hearing them as well."
Hermione shoved Ron off the couch. "Go away then!"
Harry buried his face in hands, feeling the flush all the way up to his ears.
"Oi!" Ron cried, righting himself before he hit the floor.
"Can you three knock it off, we're trying to study!"
"Go to the library!" Ron cried, throwing a pillow at the fourth year.
The younger boy blocked the pillow and scowled. "This is our common room too!"
"Common being the operative word, now mind your own business!"
Hermione ignored Ron, too happy for Harry to get onto him about being mean to the younger kids. "So are you alright? I mean, are you sore?" she asked, whispering conspiratorially.
"Hermione!" Harry and Ron yelped at the same time.
"It's a valid question!" Hermione said, scowling at the two of them. "There can often be tearing of the tissue."
Ron groaned. "Why do you know so much about this?"
"Because I read, Ronald," Hermione said dismissively. "Did he prepare you first?" she asked clinically.
"Hermione!" they both shouted with wide-eyed horror.
"Did he?" she pressed.
"Yes," Harry said through clenched teeth. "It was fine, can was stop talking about my...can we stop talking about that now?"
Hermione smirked and folded her hands on her lap primly. "Of course. But it's not every day my best friend loses his virginity."
Ron groaned. "Merlin, Hermione, do you have to say it like that? Harry's a guy. He got laid. He didn't 'lose his virginity'," he said in a high, singsong voice.
"I'm not crude, like some."
"Then plug your ears," Ron warned. "Was it alright? I mean, you got off and stuff right? That's all I care about."
Harry shot him a dirty look. "I thought we weren't talking about this any more." After a pause, he grinned half-heartedly. "But yeah, I did."
"See Hermione, it was good. Now, I can't believe I'm about to say this, but can we study for NEWTs? I'm screwed." Ron looked sheepishly at Hermione, then winked at Harry behind her back.
"Thanks," Harry mouthed.
Studying could only last so long, but for Harry it seemed to drag on forever. The only upside was that Hermione actually seemed impressed by how much he knew and she let him off lightly.
"Mione," Ron whined.
"You wanted to study, Ron."
"But not all afternoon!"
Harry shut the book he had been reading and cast it aside. "It's almost dinner."
Hermione pursed her lips and followed Harry's example. "Fine, but don't think you're getting out of studying later, Ron. The NEWTs are next week!"
Ron looked at Harry pleadingly. "Ah, Hermione, I could really use Ron's help. Can you spare him for a bit after we eat?"
"Fine," she said, getting off the couch. "But only for an hour or so. You really do need to study, Ron."
"Right, will do," Ron said, shoving Harry toward the portrait door. Once they were outside, Ron let out a huge sigh. "Thanks mate."
"I owed you," Harry said, slugging him on the shoulder.
"You alright, then? Happy, or whatever?" Ron asked awkwardly.
"Yeah I'm happy, or whatever. I'm also starving, so let's go!"
Ron grinned, slung an arm over Harry's shoulder and mock-wrestled their way to the Great Hall.
Ginny didn't know what to think anymore. Harry used to pay attention to her, and now all he paid attention to was his violin. It hurt, more than she wanted to admit. Why would an instrument have more hold over him than her? She was pretty enough, wasn't she?
She gazed at her reflection in her pumpkin juice for a moment before taking a sip of it. It was early still, however she would wait. The dinner rush didn't start until 5:30 and at least here she managed to grab some of Harry's attention.
It wasn't like she really liked Harry that way any more either. No, she just found it unfair that Draco Malfoy got more of Harry's attention nowadays than she did. Wasn't she still his friend? Didn't she matter any more? Maybe--maybe Harry just didn't like her now. The thought hung heavily in her mind and she couldn't shake it.
Hearing familiar laughter, she looked towards the entrance and smiled. Ginny waved Harry and Ron over to where she was and they sat down on either side of her, Ron ruffling her hair, and Harry grinning hugely. He shifted on the bench for a few moments before going still.
"Hey," she said in greeting, leaning over and kissing Harry's cheek.
Harry laughed and returned the gesture.
Snape saw red, though the only outward expression of his anger was the tightening of his body. He reminded himself that the chit meant nothing to Potter, that she was like a little sister. So why was she hanging all over him? He gripped the goblet of pumpkin juice in front of him, his knuckles turning white when Harry didn’t push Ginny away.
The sound of glass breaking at the high table drew the students attention. Harry looked up to see the dark, angry eyes of Severus Snape, no, his mate, burning a hole into him.
He didn't see Ginny lean over to whisper something in his ear. Harry watched in horror as Snape stormed down from the head table, quickly followed by McGonagall, who was trying to grab his robes and stop him. Before Ginny even had a clue this was about her, Snape was pulling her up by the back of her robes. "Unhand my mate," he hissed through clenched teeth.
Ginny shrieked and the few occupants of the Great Hall went silent. Harry wanted the seat to swallow him whole. Snape snarled again, a low animalistic sound that set the hair on Harry's arms on end.
"Severus, unhand Miss Weasley at once!"
Harry grabbed a fistful of Snape's robes just out of sight of half the hall and pulled. "Let her go, please."
Snape released her and stepped back, his anger turning to horrified embarrassment. "I -," he swallowed thickly. "Miss Weasley, I apologize," he said, looking at Harry. "Excuse me, I must see the Headmaster."
Turning on his heel, he fled the Great Hall.
Harry met McGonagall's concerned stare and he shook his head as he stood up. "I'm sorry," he murmured.
Ginny's expression went from horror to confusion. "What? Wait! Where are you going?"
Harry didn't stop to answer as he chased after Snape, unable to shake his worry and fear.
He caught up to the man in the corridor leading to Dumbledore's office. He grabbed him the sleeve of his robes. "Snape! Severus! Wait."
Snape stopped, looking at Harry with a haunted expression.
Harry looked around the corridor with wide eyes as he attempted to regain his breath. It stung that Snape appeared ready to brush him aside again. Frustration ran through him like an out-of-control hippogriff and he gripped his nails into Snape's wrist.
"What was that all about?"
"I wanted to tear her apart," Snape said through clenched teeth. "She kept touching you and I wanted to kill her. I didn't know it would be like this," Snape said, staring at a point over Harry's shoulder. "I didn't know I would feel so much. I should have waited to claim you," he said, finally looking at Harry.
Harry released a shaky breath and his grip loosened. "If someone wasn't there to stop you, would you have killed her?"
Snape shook his head. "I don't think so. I just wanted her to stop touching what was mine," he said, unable to control the growl that accompanied the words. "But I never should have laid hands on her. I wanted to hurt her, and had I not been stopped I don't know if I would have stopped myself. I have to speak with the Headmaster. I've got to leave."
"You're going to leave?" Harry whispered, feeling his throat clench.
"Would you rather I stay and throttle anyone who gets near you?" Snape shouted. "Do you even realize what just happened? I practically announced to the whole school that you are mine!"
Harry winced and stepped backwards, uncertain what to do now. "Well, running away isn't going to fix the problem," he snapped.
"How can they let me stay?" Snape asked, deflated. "I physically assaulted a student."
"But--"
Snape held his gaze for a moment and Harry had to break the stare first.
"But, what? What would you have me do, Harry?" The question was soft and pleading and Harry hung his head.
"I don't want you to leave."
Snape reached out and pulled Harry to him, inhaling his scent and settling his nerves. "Would you like to come with me to speak with the Headmaster? You have the right to know what is to happen to me."
"I'd like that."
Snape nodded, releasing Harry long enough to clasp his hand, and together they went to face the Headmaster.
*****
Hermione had seen Harry fly out of the Great Hall like Voldemort himself was chasing him. She didn't even get a chance to find out where he was rushing off to, but from the sheer panic in his eyes, she guessed it couldn't be good.
Entering the Great Hall, she found herself amidst chaos. Hermione quickly made her way down the rows of tables and slipped onto the bench next to Ron.
"What happened?" she asked, looking between Ron's pale face and Ginny's rapidly purpling one.
Ron shook his head in bewilderment. "One second we were just sitting here, and the next Snape was breathing down our necks. He," Ron stopped and ran a hand down his face. "He lifted Ginny off her seat like she weighed nothing and then, Merlin, Hermione, I don't know what to make of this, but he practically spat in her face and told her to 'unhand his mate'. Hermione, I've seen Snape before, but he looked ready to kill anyone who so much as breathed in Harry's direction."
"What I'd like to know," Ginny cut in, "is why Snape called Harry his 'mate' in the first place."
Hermione took Ginny by the arm, leading her out of the Great Hall. "Because, for all intents and purposes. he is! They entered into a magical contract," Hermione whispered. "Did he hurt you?" she asked, looking Ginny over carefully.
Ginny nodded and pulled down the collar of her shirt to show where it had choked her. She frowned trying to make sense of what Hermione said, but magical contracts don't bind people in that way, at least, not normal magical contracts. "What exactly did Harry do again?"
Ron came up behind them. "Remember the bedtime story mum used to tell, the one about the Nix?"
Ginny glanced at her brother and shrugged. "You mean the water creature that the princess fell in love with and he took her back to his home underwater?"
"That's the one."
"What about it? It's just a fairy tale." Hermione sighed and Ginny felt something heavy settle in her stomach. "It is just a fairy tale, right?"
Ron settled a hand on her shoulder and spun her around so she was facing him. "Ginny, didn't you ever find it odd the way that mum ended those stories? Didn't you ever wonder why the princess was never seen again?"
"No, why? Why are we talking about this anyway?"
"Ginny, Snape is a Nix."
Ginny snorted and burst out laughing. "You're joking, right?"
Ron looked at her sadly and Ginny couldn't stop laughing. "It's a joke! Great ruse, you two; you really had me going for a second there. I mean, first Snape's a Nix, next you're going to tell me Harry's the princess that fell in love with him."
"Ginevra," Ron said harshly, shaking her. "Stop it."
Ginny's laughter stopped abruptly as she gazed at her brother in confusion. She could count on her hand the number of times her older brother had used her full name - on one hand.
"You aren't serious, are you?" She glanced over at Hermione and saw the same sympathetic expression on her face. "You two really believe Snape is a Nix?"
"No, we know he is," Hermione murmured, reaching out and brushing a lock of red hair off the younger girl's freckled face.
Ginny pulled back from the two seventh years with an incredulous look. "And who told you this? Snape himself?"
"Professor Snape," Hermione corrected with a gentle tone, "and no, Headmaster Dumbledore did."
Ginny felt her stomach drop. They weren't joking. "So what, you're telling me Snape is a Nix and he's going to disappear with Harry into a lake?"
"Not necessarily," Hermione corrected.
Ginny shook her head. "This is absurd. Harry's not even gay!" Her eyes widened. "Is he?"
Hermione bit her lip and looked at Ron helplessly. "I don't think so, at least, he's never mentioned it to me."
"Me neither," Ron murmured.
"Then he can't be Snape's mate. They have to have sex, or it won't work," Ginny said, feeling a sense of relief. At least until Ron and Hermione exchanged knowing glances.
"They did?" Ginny asked, covering her mouth with her hand. "And Dumbledore knows? How could he let this happen?"
"He did try to prevent it from getting this far, but--"
"There's always a but," Ginny groaned.
"--But," Hermione continued, "There were even things he couldn't stop, not without hurting or even killing Snape."
"Snape said he was going to speak to Dumbledore. What do you think that means?" Ginny asked. "If he gets sacked, what happens to Harry?"
Ron glanced at Hermione before shaking his head. "I don't even want to think about it."
*****
Dumbledore sat at his desk, his fingers steepled under his chin as he stared at the two men. He was about to speak, when a knocking at the door interrupted him. Minerva McGonagall stepped inside without waiting for invitation. She looked at Harry and Snape and shook her head, her eyes full of worry.
"Is Miss Weasley alright, Minerva?" Dumbledore asked calmly.
"I believe so, though Miss Granger and her brother whisked her away before we could talk. Headmaster, what is to be done?" she asked, glancing at Harry and Snape once again.
"I have already tendered my resignation," Snape told her, his voice void of emotion.
"I'm sure that is unnecessary, Severus."
"That's what I told him," Harry grumbled, moving to stand next to the window.
"Need I remind you both that I assaulted a student?" Snape ground out.
"I'm sure that nobody is forgetting that, Severus," Dumbledore replied. "Minerva, could you please bring Miss Weasley to my office," Dumbledore asked mildly.
"Of course," McGonagall answered, hurrying from the room.
"Severus, I would like you to return to your quarters. Harry may join you if you wish," he told them. "Please wait there while I speak with Miss Weasley."
Harry turned from watching the students milling around the grounds to meet Snape's eyes. "All right, sir."
Snape nodded curtly and left the office with Harry close behind. "That's good, right - that he's going to talk to Ginny first?" Harry asked hopefully. "He could have fired you on the spot."
"This isn't going to end well, Harry," Snape replied, unable to look at his mate.
Harry's stomach clenched painfully and he reached out grabbing Snape's hand. He stared up at him, uncaring that he was now pressed against the man's arm in a public corridor. The whole school had to know by now what he was to Snape and if what Snape was saying was right, well, it didn't really matter either way.
"Don't say that," he begged.
Snape tightened his fingers around Harry's. "I'm only trying to prepare you. The Headmaster has no choice. I'm sure the owls are already arriving at the Ministry as we speak."
"If you leave, I'm going with you," Harry said, determined.
"You will not," Snape snapped. Harry flinched at the harsh tone, unused to being in the direct line of it for some time now.
"But--"
"Harry, you will stay here and finish out the year," said Snape in a rush. "Do you understand me?"
Harry gulped and nodded. "Yes."
They were reaching the more populated parts of the castle now, and Harry couldn't help but notice the curious stares and whispers of the students. He glared defiantly back at them as Snape ignored them completely.
"Haven't you got something better to do?" a voice asked from behind them.
Harry glanced over his shoulder, ready to tell someone off, but the words weren't directed at them. Draco was standing angrily over two Slytherins. "Bugger off," he told them and they scurried away.
"Did you get sacked?" Draco asked with no preamble.
"It's only a matter of time," Snape informed him as Draco fell in step beside them.
Draco glanced over at Harry and scowled. "This is your fault you know."
Harry stiffened for a fraction of a second, before his shoulders drooped forward. "Yeah, I know."
"Can we not discuss this in the hallway?" Snape hissed, glaring at the two young men on either side of them.
"Why?" Draco slanted a look at his godfather. "It's not like it's much of a secret anymore."
"Draco," Snape warned, and Draco held his tongue until they were behind the walls of Snape's quarters, where he let loose.
"Why the hell did you have to go spouting off about Potter being your mate? Not that I haven't wanted to strangle a Weasley before, but really did you have to?"
"Leave him alone, Malfoy!" Harry said, standing in front of Snape protectively, which just made Draco smirk. Snape rested a hand on Harry's shoulder.
"Enough," Snape said tiredly. "It's done," he said, scowling at Draco.
Harry tipped his head backwards and frowned. "So, we just sit here and wait then?"
Snape shrugged. "Yes."
"Bollocks," Harry grumbled, pulling away. He stalked across the room and picked up Snape's violin case. In quick, jerky movements, he opened it and pulled out the finely kept instrument. He went about twisting the pegs and plucking at the strings until he gave up. Who cared if it sounded like crap, especially right now?
He hadn't expected Snape to move beside him, but it was good that he did. Roughly, he handed the violin to him.
"Play something," he gritted out.
Snape wordlessly took the violin and began to play. It was a song of heartbreak, longing and despair. Harry sat on the floor at his feet, his arms wrapped around his knees, rocking back and forth.
Draco had turned away, unwilling to let either see the tears on his face.
Harry kept his eyes squeezed shut to prevent anymore tears from escaping, even as the sound huddled around him, beating him until he couldn't take it any longer. He wrapped his arms around Snape's legs, clinging desperately as he wiped his wet face against the man's trouser legs. Malfoy was right, this was all his fault. All of it, from the very beginning, had been his fault. He couldn't even pretend to be neutral anymore. His throat constricted and he let out a strangled sob.
As if sensing Harry's pain, the music abruptly stopped. "Draco, leave us please," Snape asked softly, and waited for the soft click of door before kneeling beside Harry and enveloping him in his arms.
"I'm sorry," Snape whispered as Harry clung to him, sobbing. "I'm sorry I did this to you."
"It's not your fault. You kept pushing me away. You kept trying to do the right thing."
"I was weak," Snape whispered angrily. "I should have kept pushing, but I wanted you." He held Harry tighter. "I wanted you. I'm sorry."
Harry buried his face against Snape's chest. This shouldn't hurt as much as it did. Snape could still be around tomorrow and the day after that, they just didn't know yet, but Merlin his whole body ached and he wondered if this was what dying felt like.
Harry's breath hitched in his throat as he tried to speak, but the words got stuck. "I--"
"Shh," Snape said, stroking Harry's hair. He knew that he could ask right now, ask Harry to come with him to the lake, and he would say yes. Harry would follow him to the very depths, knowing he would never return.
He clenched his teeth together, fighting the impulse with everything he had. He couldn't do that, not to Harry. But gods, how he wanted to.
The portrait swung open almost silently and Albus stepped through surveying the scene before him. With a heavy heart, he cleared his throat.
Snape raised his head, but Harry didn't bother. He understood now. There was no hope for clemency. Snape would be asked to leave, and Harry needed to decide whether to go with him. He promised Snape that he would finish out the year, but was there really any point? But Harry knew his decision already.
He finally raised his head and looked defiantly at Dumbledore.
"Harry, will you leave the room for a moment?"
Harry stood, his hand lingering on Snape's shoulder, before he went to the bedroom and shut the door. He wished he had asked Snape how to make the walls disappear like he had done before.
Dumbledore looked upon Snape with deep sadness. "Oh my boy," he said, his voice ripe with emotion. "That it has come to this."
"Just say it, Albus," Snape said, getting to his feet, back straight and proud.
"You know that I have no choice," Dumbledore told him sadly. "I have to ask you to leave."
Snape nodded. "And what of the boy?"
"Harry can finish his studies and graduate with the rest of his class. You are welcome to stay in the lake until that time, but I must ask that you keep well away from the students. And for Harry's own safety, I think we must ban him from the lake for the time being."
Snape snorted. "Has Harry ever listened to a ban on his behavior? You spoiled him, Albus; he doesn't fear consequences as he should."
"Then you must make him understand, Severus."
Harry lay on Snape's bed and curled into a ball, watching Snape's mum just as intently as Snape's mum was watching him back.
"I'm sorry," he croaked, gripping the pillow tightly. The dark haired woman shook her head with a scowl and Harry picked up the picture and rolled onto his back. "This is all my fault."
The woman rolled her eyes and Harry frowned. "It is! I never listen to anyone, and now your son is about to be expelled from the castle, I just know it, and it's all my fault!"
She shook her head and smiled at him sadly. She touched her fingers to her lips, and held her hand out towards Harry, causing a sob to rise in his throat.
Snape entered the room and took in the scene before him. He sat beside Harry, placing a hand on his back. "She was a Nix," Snape told him, smiling fondly at his mother. "My father ultimately chose to leave her. She understands better than anyone, Harry," he said, and his mother nodded, regarding Harry in particular.
"Did you get--"
"Yes."
Harry fell silent and stared down at Snape's mother as she sunned herself on a rock he now recognized from being beside the lake. "When are we leaving?"
"We, are not. I am leaving. You will finish out the term and graduate, and then we shall see."
"No!" Harry said, rolling from the bed and to his feet. "I'm going with you!"
"No, you are not," Snape said, his voice remaining calm. "Do not fight me on this, Harry. It's only for a few months."
"I don't trust you to come back," Harry said, shaking his head.
Snape closed his eyes, his hand drifting up to Harry's neck. "Stay."
"Here?"
"Yes, I don't want you to go tonight. Please stay," Snape said, diverting Harry away from the subject.
"Okay," Harry murmured, leaning into Snape's side. He smiled weakly as Snape's arm slipped around his shoulder and his head rested on top of his own.
Snape ran soothing circles on Harry's back, and waited for the boy to fall asleep. It didn't take long, Harry was exhausted. Snape allowed himself a few small moments with him before getting up from the bed.
He went to his desk and wrote a letter to Harry, and another to Dumbledore, outlining what to do with his possessions. That done, he grabbed his violin case and returned to Harry, placing it on the pillow next to him. He brushed back a lock of hair from Harry's forehead and removed his glasses, placing them on the bedside table.
He sat next to him, watching him sleep, his face troubled, even in his dreams. Snape knew he had to leave, before he couldn't do it. He leaned down and pressed his lips to Harry's forehead. "I love you, Harry. Please forgive me," he choked, then stood and left the room. He would tell Draco goodbye, as he had promised, and then he would leave the castle for good.
*****
Harry groaned when something hit the side of his head. He tried to bat away the assailant and found his hand connected with something hard. He opened his eyes slowly, trying to adjust to the darkness of the room.
He felt around the bed beside him, fear curling in the pit of his stomach as his fingers brushed against leather. He gripped the case strongly, and stiffly pulled it onto his lap. Tears pricked the corner of his eyes as he swung his feet over the side of the bed, not even feeling the chill of the floor. Grabbing up his wand, he cast Lumos and bathed the room in yellowed light. It was empty, as he had feared.
Clinging to the instrument in his hands, he crossed the room in silence to the desk where two pieces of parchment lay. He set the violin on the smooth surface as he examined the letters. Snape's sharp handwriting was scrolled over the two pages and he picked up the one with his name at the top.
It was short - too short in Harry's mind - just a single paragraph that said nothing he hadn't heard before. He wiped his nose on his sleeve, crumpling the parchment in his hand. He was tempted to read the letter to Dumbledore, but he couldn't bring himself to look.
He went to the bed and sat down, staring blankly at the wall. He wished he knew the spell so he could see into the lake. Would he see Snape there, on the outside looking in? Alone.
Harry un-crumpled the paper and read it again, finding no more satisfaction in it than the first time. He got to his feet and stormed from the room and out of Snape's quarters. He didn't care if it was the middle of the night; he knew Snape wouldn't leave without saying goodbye to Draco. He'd find Draco and get the answers he was looking for!
With that plan firmly in mind, he wound his way through the twisted corridors and came to a stop in front of the stone wall concealing the Slytherin Common room.
Standing outside, he had no idea what to do next, considering it was the middle of the night. He tried pounding on the wall, but there was no response. Running his hands through his hair in agitation, he made his way from the dungeons in search of one of the Hogwarts ghosts. Maybe he could convince Nearly Headless Nick to wake Draco up for him.
He needn't have bothered. Harry met Draco on the stairs, and Harry thought if he looked half has horrible as Draco, he must look like absolute pixie shit. Draco's hair was a mess, and his eyes were rimmed red as he scowled angrily at Harry.
Harry didn't even hesitate before shoving Draco up against the wall and pinning him there by his arm.
"Where did he go?" he snarled.
"Where do you think he went, Potter?" Draco growled, shoving Harry away. "He's gone to the lake. He's going to bloody die down there, and if you don't stop it from happening, I swear to god I'll kill you," Draco snarled.
"How long ago since he left?"
"About twenty minutes. You'd better hurry."
Harry nodded and began to take the stairs two at a time. "Potter!"
Harry stopped at the top, looking down at Draco. "Don't take no for an answer."
"Not a chance," Harry replied, and took off at a run.
His feet barely touched the floor as he bolted through the castle, not even caring that Mrs. Norris was yowling as he flew past. His heart raced quickly and adrenaline pumped through his veins making him go faster than he had ever run before.
Harry knew he had to get to the lake before Snape disappeared beneath the surface, he felt it acutely in the way his muscles stretched and burned and knew he'd only feel worse if Snape succeeded in leaving the surface world.
"Harry!" Two arms caught him around the shoulder and he was forced to a stop. He looked up to see his best friend gazing at him worriedly. "What happened?"
"No time to explain, Ron, trust me, just let me go."
To his shock Ron did and Harry stumbled forward, crashing to his knees hard.
"It's pouring outside, mate, and it's midnight."
"So?" Harry panted, getting up to his feet slowly.
"I'm not letting you go out there alone. I'm going with you."
Harry nodded and took off again, not even bothering to give Ron a verbal answer. If the redhead wanted to come with him, so be it, but now he had to put on even more speed if he ever was going to reach Snape in time. Tears streamed down his face unnoticed as he burst out of the front doors into the downpour. He gasped as cold water assaulted his heaving body. He barely heard Ron behind him as he stepped onto the squelching mud-covered grounds and took off, slipping and sliding as he careened towards the lake.
The rain blinded him, seeping behind his glasses and making the dark journey even more impossible. He reached the hill overlooking the lake by sheer luck and stumbled to a stop. He squinted down at the illuminated figure below.
Snape had brought a lantern with him and it rested on the shore. It's like cast an eerie glow on the lake, yet it was the man wading in the shallows that caused him grief.
"Severus," he hollered over the wind and driving rain. He moved forward down the hill, slipping dangerously, kicking up mud as he went. "Please, wait!"
He caught his footing as the hill leveled off into the sandy shore. Snape was waist-deep in the water and Harry knew that one more step would send him out of his life, possibly forever. "Please," he cried.
Snape heard the cry, and hesitated. Closing his eyes, he took another step into the water, Harry's cries echoing all around him. He felt as though his heart was shattering into pieces as he waded further out into the lake.
But he couldn't take the final step, the one that would put him out of Harry's life forever. He choked back a sob. Please.
He raised his face to the sky, wanting to scream out his pain to the heavens, but he clenched his jaw tight, refusing. Then two hands were on his shoulder.
Harry.
When he opened his eyes, it was not to find Harry, but Cadmus. "You've put this off for too long, Severus. It's time to come home," the Merman told him gently.
Nodding, his tears mixing with the rain, Snape followed Cadmus into the water, Harry's cries fading away. If only the pain could be blocked just as easily. He now understood how it was that his kind could die without their mate. He was dying by the second, and at the moment, he welcomed it.
"NO!" Harry's heart stopped for a second, before shuddering to a start too fast. He ran into the water, not caring that there was no spell on him, not caring that if he lived through this Snape would probably kill him, not caring that he could die. "NO!
Strong arms wrapped around his waist and chest and started pulling him backwards out of the darkened depths. "Let me go! Let me go, let me GO!" Harry twisted and lashed out, arms and legs thrashing sending water into the air.
"No," Ron grunted, still pulling him backwards. Harry pulled more forcefully, and managed to dislodge Ron's arm from his chest and he surged forward once more. Ron caught him tightly and tugged him backwards against his chest. "No," he repeated.
Harry collapsed. The muscles in his legs and arms gave out as they reached the shore and Ron sat down on the muddy bank, holding him.
"Why didn't you let me go?"
"It's too late, Harry. You have to let him go, he's doing this for you," Ron told him, holding him tightly. "And I'm not ready to lose you."
Harry trembled, his eyes slipping shut as Ron held him. "But I'm not ready to lose him."
"I know, mate," Ron whispered, kissing the side of Harry's head. "I know."
"I'm not going back inside," Harry murmured into the silence.
They were both soaked and shivering, but Ron knew Harry meant it. He reached into his robes for wand, then cast an umbrella spell, followed by a drying and warming spell. "Thanks," Harry murmured, staring out into the dark water.
He blinked into the dimly lit area lit by Snape's lantern, which flickered as rain managed to get inside the enclosed part, slowly but surely extinguishing its light. Darkness pressed around them, and soon, Harry found himself nodding off to the hypnotic sounds of the rain falling and the water lapping against the shore.
*****
Snape knew he was still there, waiting on the shore, waiting for him. He had been swimming in agitated circles, fighting the urge to poke his head above the water, just to make sure Harry was alright.
He saw when the light went out, the surface of the lake become dark once more. Cadmus had been watching him carefully, ready to step in if necessary. But now he was finally gone, leaving Snape alone.
Knowing he was making a mistake, Snape swam to the surface, needing to be certain that Harry was back in the castle, safe from the elements and safe from him.
He hadn't expected to find Harry there, sleeping wrapped in the arms of Weasley. Had Harry been gone, or even alone, Snape might have been able to swim away. But his mate was being comforted by another, protected by another, and it was too much.
Keeping his body below the water he swam slowly so as not to disturb the surface. He kept close to the sheet rock below him, his skin brushing against it as he drew closer to the shore. Snaking a hand out of the water, he gently grabbed Harry's ankle and tugged. Weasley's arm fell off the boy making his job easier.
There was nothing stopping him now. Inch by precious inch, he pulled Harry into the water, mindful of not waking the other boy. Moving backwards in a single smooth motion, Harry's entire body submerged in the shallow water, save his head. With one swift tug of the leg, Harry's head slipped under.
Harry awoke with a start as he began to choke. His eyes opened, but he could see nothing but dark and murky water around him. He tried to kick to the surface, but he was being pulled downward. He was running out of air, and he tried to scream, but the sound was swallowed up by the water.
He tipped his head back emitting a pained cry towards the brightening sky as dawn broke above him. Then his world went dark, and he knew no more.
Next Chapter: Epilogue