Twilight fic: Singing in the Dead of Night 2b/4

[faye_dartmouth]

Chapter 1

Chapter 2a


-o-

He came to just as fast as he went out. It was a sudden jarring motion, a quick inhale of breath and the taste of dirt and oh, yeah...pain.

That was probably an understatement, but words were kind of failing Jacob at the moment. No word really did it justice, anyway.

Forcing himself to stay calm, he focused. Beyond the pain, beyond the dirt in his mouth, beyond everything.

First things first, take stock of himself.

He was on the ground, face pressed against the ground. Alive and breathing, check and check, but okay was probably a stretch.

His leg. Using his arms, he pushed himself upright, blinking rapidly against his dimming vision as he did so. The wave of vertigo passed and managed to position himself against the wall to get a better look at his leg.

Fortunately, there was still light filtering in from the hole's opening, not that he really liked what he saw. The leg was still bloody, but Jacob could see that most of it was dried. In fact, the outer wound was already somewhat mended.

With tentative fingers, he felt along the shin, feeling for the break in the bone.

He flinched when he found it, still clearly broken but somehow still set correctly. The bones had probably already started to fuse, which meant that unless Seth had really kicked him, the jarring had just hurt like hell but done no additional damage--at least nothing his body couldn't quickly compensate for.

Which was the good news.

The bad news?

Well, where to begin.

He was still in pain, and he was still down a hole. They were losing daylight and Seth...

Jacob almost didn't want to look. Because he knew he'd failed. Worse, by failing, he knew he'd just put Seth through a whole lot of pain with absolutely no gain whatsoever.

That made it his responsibility.

With a sigh, Jacob rolled his head toward Seth.

The younger boy was sprawled again, limbs askew. One arm was laying across his stomach, fingers outstretched toward his leg while the other was flung wide. His good leg was bent at the knee, leaning against the wall. His face was blank, but still somehow exhausted, eyes closed and still in a deep unconsciousness.

The leg with the trap had barely moved, but the trap had. When Jacob had let it go, it had clamped down again, ripping downward from the original wound, exposing even more of the wound to the open air. There was fresh blood everywhere, a small pool forming on the ground.

Jacob had to close his eyes.

This was worse than before. This was just...

He opened his eyes in resignation. There was no use trying to describe or compare it. It was just bad, plain and simple. Seth's injuries were worse, Jacob wasn't nearly healed enough, and it was almost night.

He wasn't sure whether he should laugh or cry when he remembered that the rest of the pack would be at the party all night. They wouldn't even think to look for them until the morning.

Jacob knew he could survive the night--not much of a problem there. It was uncomfortable and embarrassing, but doable.

He looked at Seth again. He wasn't sure how doable it was for Seth. Werewolf or not, Seth was in bad shape. The kid didn't deserve to suffer like this all night--he didn't deserve to suffer at all. Which meant that it was up to Jacob to act, to figure this out. Come up with a plan, even if it involved lots of sitting. Seth deserved that much, and that much Jacob could give. He'd failed at the rest, but he would not leave Seth drifting in his own pain to top it all off.

Which meant he needed to give Seth another once over. Not just the leg, because he had that one pretty well down. It was a step up from road kill, but not much. But he would never know just how serious it was until he assessed the rest of Seth's condition--better yet, had the kid wake up and tell him what level of crap he was feeling right now.

However, if Jacob were honest, he didn't want to find out just how bad it was. He wasn't even sure he wanted Seth awake at this point. Telling the kid how it'd all gone south--again--was not high on Jacob's list of fun things to do at the moment. But this wasn't about Jacob and his wayward whims and wants. More than the fact that Jacob was Seth's Alpha, he was Seth's friend, his brother in all the ways that mattered.

Resolved, he began his slow and painful trip back to Seth's upper body. He was more careful than before, the pain more pronounced, and by the time he got close enough to Seth to really check him out, he felt like he was going to pass out again.

But three times in one day was more than enough and he wasn't going for a quadruple crown on this one.

Steadier, Jacob leaned over, using one hand to skim over Seth's brow. Seth's long hair was sticky, matted with sweat and dirt, and as Jacob pushed it out of the way, he could feel fever.

Fevers were a tricky thing when it came to werewolves, since they were almost always suffering from one. Jacob was mostly used to the extra heat in his skin--it just made everything else feel cold. In fact, Jacob was hard pressed to remember the last time something felt truly hot to him besides his own sweaty armpits.

But Seth's forehead?

Was hot.

More than frying an egg kind of hot. Like about to spontaneously combust kind of hot.

Jacob swore, pulling his hand away. Not that he shouldn't have expected it--open wounds, dirty conditions, both lent themselves pretty well to infections. But what was he supposed to do with a kid in a steel trap running a fever at the bottom of a hole?

Carefully, he moved his hand to Seth's shoulder, squeezing ever so slightly. "Hey, Seth," he called. "You with me, kid?"

Seth didn't move; nothing even flickered in the younger boy.

Concerned, Jacob moved his hand back to Seth's forehead, letting it rest there for a second. "Come on," he said. "You don't want me to tell Leah that you had to catch a few extra z's during our great adventure, do you?"

It was the best incentive Jake could offer. Leah's ridicule of her younger brother was often relentless. Good natured or not, Jacob knew it wasn't Seth's favorite thing.

Seth still didn't move. Not as much as a twitch.

With a sigh, Jacob sat back. Seth was out like a light. He couldn't be sure if it was the infection or the shock or just the pain alone, but there was no indication that the kid would be waking up any time soon.

It really could have been for the best, Jacob allowed himself to consider. There was nothing Jacob could do for Seth while he was awake and if the pain was as bad as Jacob might imagine, then unconsciousness might actually be kinder.

For Seth, anyway. Jacob wasn't sure which option was better for himself: having to put on an act to help Seth forget their situation or not having anyone force him to play along.

That really was what it seemed like most of the time. This whole Alpha of the pack thing. It was like a game he played, a part he was acting out. Sometimes he still didn't quite believe it himself until there were four other wolves there, all answering to him.

That really was weird, too. That anyone would want to follow him. He was just Jake, who had spent his entire life in La Push, going to school and hanging out with his two best friends. There'd never been any girls, not except for Bella, and he hadn't really been one for school involvement. He'd managed to pass his classes with mediocre grades and he was likable enough if largely forgettable.

Which, truthfully, had been okay with him. He liked hanging out with Embry and Quil, fixing cars up in his dad's garage. And then there'd been Bella, and Jacob had been smitten. More than smitten; he'd been in love. He'd been falling all along but when his blood boiled over, that had really been it. Phasing wasn't just a physical thing, it was an emotional and psychological thing, too. There was so much going on, so much changing, so much needing, that his puppy love had turned into full blown epic soul mates.

It was pretty easy to phase in and out of wolf form; it wasn't so easy letting go of love.

His life had been defined by Bella. His rebellions were against her. His lines in the sands were always for her sake. His desire to leave, his need to come back, his realization that he wasn't meant to be a Beta to Sam: Bella, Bella, Bella.

His entire pack, his entire life was based around the fact that he'd fallen in love with a girl he was never meant to have, but was always meant to be a part of. And really, that was okay with him, because it made sense in the end. Him and Nessie, and the rest of the Cullens. There was a balance there, puzzle pieces that fit together to make a bigger picture.

But Leah, Embry, Quil. Seth. They had all come along for the ride, and for as sure as Jacob felt about his place with Nessie and the rest of the Cullens, sometimes he still had no idea what he was doing as an Alpha.

He was protecting, keeping watch. Keeping the others on task.

Falling down holes, breaking his leg. Watching junior pack members writhe in pain until they passed out.

Just another day in the life.

Jacob's gaze flittered to Seth once again. If any of them would believe it, it would be Seth. After all this time, after sharing Jake's thought, the dumb kid still though Jacob hung the moon.

Normally Jacob could ignore that. Sometimes it annoyed the crap out of him. Right then, Jacob wished he was right.

He wished he could just stand up, have his leg be healed, and carry Seth out of here. He wished he could gnaw the chain with his teeth, get them both out and back to the party before anyone realized that things had gone wrong.

"Jacob?"

Startled, Jacob looked back down. Seth's eyes were open, staring dully into the growing dimness. Leaning over, Jacob put himself in Seth's line of sight, all smiles. "Hey, kid," he said. "You're awake."

A faint line appeared between Seth's brows as he tried to make sense of that. The concentration seemed to be too much, and his brow smoothed, eyes wandering toward the sky. "Is it night?" he asked, his voice soft and slurred.

Jacob looked up. "Looks that way," he said. "You said you like camping, though, so it shouldn't be a problem."

Seth nodded at that, taking Jacob at his word. He seemed to drift for a moment. "That didn't work so well, huh?" he asked.

It was so unexpected and so understated that Jacob nearly choked on his own laughter. "You mean my brilliant plan of taking the trap off? No, not so much."

Seth just nodded. "Did I kick you? I think I kicked you."

Only Seth would worry about that. "It was nothing, man," Jacob reassured him lightly.

Seth met his gaze quite seriously. "I didn't...screw up your leg or something, did I?"

"You mean more than I already did by falling down a hole?" he quipped. The humor seemed to be lost on the kid. Jacob shook his head. "No, it's fine. Sore, but healing."

Seth nodded, but there was little trace of understanding on his face. Concerned, Jacob shifted, trying to keep the conversation flowing. He had his audience now; it was time to live up to expectations. "So how are you feeling?"

Seth seemed to consider the question. "My leg hurts."

It would have been funny if Seth hadn't been completely serious about it. Jacob pursed his lips, nodding. "Well. I can understand why."

Seth agreed with a faint nod.

This was not going as smoothly as Jacob had hoped. "I'm sorry," he blurted. "For the trap thing, you know. Trying to take it off and falling down here in the first place. I've been a grade-A idiot tonight, and I'm sorry I took you along for the ride."

For all the things Seth didn't seem to be picking up on, it was clear he caught the gist of this. He frowned. "It's not your fault, Jake."

Jacob scoffed. "I'm the one who walked right into the hole, taking you down for the ride," he said plainly. "I let my guard down."

Seth's eyes were wide, and he shook his head. "I was distracting you," he recalled. "Asking the question, 'member? You said I should shut up, and I didn't." His voice began to trail off a bit, his eyes losing their focus. "I just keep asking questions..."

Jacob nudged him, inching closer to Seth. "You stepped into that trap setting my leg," Jacob reminded him.

Seth's gaze flickered back, surprisingly clear. "You fell into this hole listening to me talk."

They both had a point.

Maybe they were both wrong.

He sighed, offering up a half-smile. "You know, it's not either of our faults really," he said. Then he leaned in a bit conspiratorially. "It's Leah's fault. If she hadn't thrown a fit and demanded to go to that party, we wouldn't be here at all."

Seth's face brightened just for a moment, a laugh bubbling past his lips.

And that felt good--to laugh, to hear Seth laugh. A moment of normal when everything else seemed so off.

Seth's laugh tapered off, ending with a series of breathless coughs. The younger boy blinked his eyes heavily. "I'm tired," he murmured.

The kid looked tired. His features were even paler in the waning light, but the dark rims around his eyes were starkly visible. Jacob forced himself to smile. "Yeah, well, it's been kind of a long day," he said.

Seth blinked a few more times. "Do you think maybe I could sleep?" he asked, almost hesitantly. "Just for a little bit. Not long. Promise."

The request was so sincere, so desperate, that it hit Jacob hard. That the kid would think he even had to ask for permission, as if that was just part of what a pack member did with an Alpha. "Yeah, sure," he said, something hot burning in his eyes. He swallowed hard. "Of course. I mean. I can take first watch, I guess."

There was no reply from Seth, just a vague movement of his head before his eyes closed and his body fell lax once again.

Jacob sat there, stiffly, trying to keep himself together. For his sake, for Seth's. Seth would be better off asleep. At the very least, it was a respite the kid deserved and the least Jacob could allow him.

Turning his head toward the sky again, he refused to let his own eyes close. It was the very least, indeed.

-o-

He was running.

Paws over the ground, eating up the ground like it was nothing, tearing through the trees toward the coast. Up, up, up, and beyond.

He took the uphill fast and the downhill flying. He dodged trees, leaping rocks and streams.

These woods were his; his world was his. There for the taking, there for the taming. Jacob had the claws to pared it down, to cleave himself to it. He had the teeth to rip it to size, pulling, rearranging until it fit him just the way it should.

But the more he ran, the more he knew he wasn't alone. The sound of footfalls behind him, breathing in tandem with his own, the rapid pulsing of a heart, two hearts, three, four.

The pack. They ran at his flanks, at his back. They mimicked him, kept his pace. He went left, and they veered to follow. He went right, and they didn't miss a beat.

Even their thoughts came to one. Five disparate minds falling into the same pattern, the same unspoken rhythm Up, up, up, and beyond.

It was as reassuring as it was inevitable. As perfect as it was constricting. No matter what Jacob did, he was never alone. Where he went, they also were. His victories, his setbacks. His rejoicing, his pain.

Then one, fell away. At first, so quiet he barely noticed.

Then another.

And another.

When he stopped to look, there was only one left. Tall and lanky, sandy colored fur, smiling broadly right before he was snatched off his feet and pulled away from Jacob, deep into the forest.

He couldn't find them. All he could hear was their howls, splitting the forest open and sucking them in and in and in...

"Jacob?"

The voice came from nowhere. Jacob's breath caught in his throat, eyes flying open.

Dreaming.

It was just a dream.

"Jake, you okay?"

It was Seth, Jacob realized, sitting up quickly before he remembered his condition.

His leg protested, sending shocks of pain throughout his body. His vision dimmed just for a moment, but a few deep breaths and he was able to get it under control. His stomach still felt nauseous and his entire body seemed to ache, but this was improvement.

Blinking, it was darker than he remembered. It was hard to see much, but the faint glow of moonlight made it possible to see Seth lying next to him, head craned awkwardly to look at him.

The kid still looked awful, skin bluish pale in the moonlight. "You were talking in your sleep," he explained, relaxing back a little. "I was worried."

Jacob felt duly sheepish. He'd promised he'd stay on duty, and even if there wasn't much he could do, a promise was a promise. One he had failed. "Sorry, I guess I fell asleep," he admitted for what it was worth.

Seth didn't seem fazed by that notion. "Sleep will help you heal," he said simply. "Sorry for waking you."

"No, I should be awake anyway," Jacob said quickly.

"I can keep watch," Seth offered, and it was a toss up to decide it the kid was just too delusional to know what was what or just too naive to understand how dire his situation was.

"Nah, I'm good now," Jacob said, and it was partly true and partly not. Since first phasing, he didn't need sleep in the same way, but when he slept, he really slept. It was true that sleep seemed to aid the healing process, but this wasn't about healing. This was about being the Alpha.

"I'd holler if anything came up," Seth promised earnestly. "I mean, I know I'm not in much condition to do much, but I can still yell, more or less."

"No yelling necessary," Jacob said. He looked up at the still woods above them.

To that, Seth had no counterargument. "I guess it'd probably just attract night predators," Seth added thoughtfully.

Great. Something else Jacob could worry about. He could hold his own against anything the forest threw his way (holes, notwithstanding), but the idea of tackling said creatures with a still mending leg and a downed teenager? Was not so appealing.

"Just let me worry about that, okay?" Jacob said, forcing his tension away. "I have to live up to my Alpha duties in some capacity tonight."

Seth's smile took a bittersweet curve. "You're a good Alpha, Jake," he said, entirely serious.

The sincerity of it hurt. "Taken a look around lately, kid?" Jacob asked. He pushed his guilt back down as best he could. "This isn't exactly my shining moment."

Seth shook his head. "Thought we already decided it wasn't your fault."

Jacob shrugged. "Worrying about the pack sort of seems to go with the whole territory," he said.

"I know how that feels," Seth replied readily this time. "Ever since I first, you know. Phased. The pack's just always been a priority."

It was sort of an inevitable part of becoming a werewolf, Jacob was pretty sure. The concern for the pack was ingrained into their DNA. Even with that, Jacob knew Seth took it more to heart than most. From the moment Seth had become a part of the pack, he'd been a stubborn, good hearted pain in the butt. Even when he was too young for the fight against the newborns, he'd refused to stay back, too earnest and pure hearted about it all to be put into place.

Jacob looked at his hands. Seth had surprised them all in that fight. All this time later, it seemed like the kid was still full of surprises. He laughed bitterly, trying to sound like he believed it. "The pack is sort of everything," Jacob agreed.

"That's what I mean," Seth said a little breathless, but still assuringly cognizant. "You're doing the best you can."

Jacob's guilt and self-deprecation wasn't going to get him anywhere. He would just wear Seth out with pointless arguments that neither of them would win. He sighed. "You Clearwaters sure are stubborn, aren't you?" Jacob asked tightly.

In the faint moonlight, he could see Seth smile, but the kid's gaze was faraway. "That's the diplomatic way of putting it."

Jacob had to laugh. "You can't listen to everything your sister says."

Seth glanced at him, a bemused smile on his face. "She's not the only one who's thinking it."

Jacob felt his cheeks flush. The whole one mind thing had its drawbacks.

Seth shrugged slightly, looking at the sky again. "But I think maybe you're all right about me most of the time," he said. "Only a kid would make this kind of mistake."

"I already told you, you didn't make a mistake," Jacob said again, with more finality this time. "This kind of crap--it could happen to any of us. I mean, remember how I'm down here with you?"

Seth looked at him with a keen understanding. "You're healing," he pointed out. He nodded toward his leg. "I'm the one still caught in the trap."

As if Jacob could forget. "Seth..."

Lifting his arm a little, Seth waved it off dismissively. "It's not a big deal," he said quietly. His mouth quirked up into a bittersweet smile. "Just goes to show that I think maybe you're all right. There's a reason why playing Beta never stuck for me."

That caught Jacob off guard. Of course, he knew the situation and how it came to be. When they'd started out, there really hadn't been a pack. It'd just been him and Seth playing tagalong. In a pack of two, there really wasn't much room for positioning within the ranks. Jacob had always been the clear Alpha, and Seth had played the part of a Beta because there was no one else there to do it.

Besides, Jacob hadn't really accepted the fact that it was a pack. Not even when Leah joined. It wasn't until after they'd faced off with the Volturi, when he'd made peace with Sam, when Embry and Quil had joined them that it really all settled into place.

And it had seemed like a seamless transition at that point. He and Sam were on good terms again, and Embry and Quil's departure didn't seem like a defection, just a choice, like adding ketchup and mustard to a hot dog. It wasn't even something any of them had talked about or made a conscious decision regarding; Leah just was the Beta. She had the age and a certain wisdom and she was submissive enough when it counted but she was pretty good at giving orders.

Seth had never contested the change, but Jacob realized now that the demotion had been pretty substantial. Even now when they were all together, Seth took up his spot at the back of the pack. When opinions were sought, Seth's was usually last to be given.

That wasn't to say that they didn't trust Seth or they didn't rely on him, because they did. Seth was good at what he did and he was an important member of the pack. But...he was Seth. Leah's little brother and no matter how hard they tried, they all saw Seth that way: having his diapers changed and snuggling with his blankie before bed.

But Seth was a happy-go-lucky kind of kid. It never bothered him, not even in his own mind.

Except maybe it did.

Jacob's stomach churned and his leg ached. He had to make this better--he had to make something better. "If we judged capability as a wolf based on the injuries we've endured, then I'd fall below you on the totem pole, man. Broken leg, remember? And do we need to relive me getting torn to shreds?"

Seth flinched.

"You're doing fine, man," Jacob assured him, and this time it wasn't an effort to mean it. "You're doing more than fine."

Seth was quiet for a moment. "Really?" he asked finally, his voice so hopeful, so uncertain, that it hit Jacob like a kick in the gut.

Jacob patted him on the shoulder. "Really."

With that, Seth smiled, and Jacob found himself wishing the rest could be that easy. The kid shifted then, face contorting a little. He wrapped his arms around his bare torso with a small shudder.

Jacob frowned. "Are you okay?"

Seth closed his eyes. "Yeah, I'm good," he said, his voice fading. He didn't open his eyes. "Just...kind of cold."

Jacob's frown deepened, inching closer, his instinct flaring. Wolves ran hot, they were incubators. Jacob hadn't needed as much as a shirt since he first phased and the idea of a coat made him want to sweat just thinking about it. Jacob couldn't remember the last time he'd been really, truly cold.

Seth didn't say anything else, his head dropping slightly to the side. His breathing even out, his arms loosening in sleep.

With nothing else to do, Jacob moved even closer, letting his skin brush lightly against Seth's, just enough to feel the heat of Seth's fever as the night drifted on.

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