Hooway for Wodney A Grandview story Rated G
Title: Hooway for Wodney
Series: Grandview
Rating: G
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Summary: If I can make a fully functional hyper drive for a puddle jumper, that I invented in my partially ascended state I might add, I think I can handle teaching our son how to say his S’s.”
“Ssssss,” John heard when he came out of the upstairs bathroom. “Ssssss.”
John furrowed his brow and opened the door to Nathan’s bedroom to find his boys sitting on the floor. Rodney was facing Nathan which meant his back was to the door, but Nathan was in full view.
“What does a snake say?” Rodney asked their son.
“Thhhhhh,” Nathan replied happily.
“No, sssss,” Rodney corrected.
“Thhhh,” Nathan said again and immediately broke into laughter at the face John made at him.
Rodney turned and finally saw John, then he turned back to Nathan. “What’s your name?” he asked.
“Nasan,” Nathan replied.
“No,* th*, Nathan.”
Nathan got the purely Rodney thinking look and repeated the name, “Nathan,” he said taking great care to pronoun the th.
“Very good,” Rodney praised.
“What are you doing, Rodney?” John asked.
“I’m working on Nathan’s lisp,” Rodney replied as if it was the stupidest question he’d ever heard.
“They have speech therapists for that.”
“He doesn’t need a therapist,” Rodney replied hotly. “Not when he has a genius for a father. If I can make a fully functional hyper drive for a puddle jumper, that I invented in my partially ascended state I might add, I think I can handle teaching our son how to say his S’s.”
“The jumper hyper drive was really cool,” John said with a smirk.
“Oh shut up, I’m working here.” Rodney’s tone wasn’t mean, but John could tell that he was serious.
“Rodney, he’s two, there are plenty of kids that talk with a lisp when they’re two.”
Rodney turned and glared at him, “Yeah, and there are plenty of geniuses that spoke with a lisp even as adults.”
“Exactly,” John replied excitedly.
“That doesn’t mean that my son has to be one of them.”
John sighed and shook his head when Rodney turned back to Nathan. “What does a snake say?” Rodney asked again.
“Thhhh,” John said and laughed when Rodney turned back to him.
“I’m trying to get our son to be grammatically correct and you’re making jokes!” Rodney accused.
“He’s two, Rodney, he’ll get it. Just… go easy on him, like you said, he’s a genius and all geniuses get there eventually. With us as his parents, he can’t help but be perfect.” John smiled when Rodney’s features softened a bit, and he knew that he’d won at least partially.
“Alright, we’ll just do the th’s for now.”
John couldn’t help but chuckle at the way Rodney sounded when he said that. “Ok,” he said and pulled the door closed.
Rodney had been hard at work on Nathan’s lisp for almost a month now and it was beginning to work John’s nerves a bit. He’d eventually called Jeanie to see if she had any idea why it was so important to Rodney that Nathan speak properly. By the end of the phone call John had a better handle on the situation, and a book coming in the mail.
Now John had Grace propped up on his lap with Nathan snuggled in close as he read the book.
“Weed the sign,” John read as he heard the door in the kitchen. He ignored Rodney’s grumbling about how freakishly cold it was outside, and just continued reading. “Wake the leaves, Wodney said-”
“What the… John!” Rodney interrupted him and snatched the book out of his hands; John hadn’t even heard Rodney come into the living room.
“What?” John asked and reached for the book.
“Why are you reading them this?!”
“Jeanie sent it,” John replied.
“Yeah I’ll bet she did, that disrespectful little-”
“Rodney!” John nearly shouted. “She happens to be your children’s aunt.”
“Purely by nature,” Rodney said and looked down at the book. “I can’t believe she sent this. Do you have any idea how humiliating this book is? She used to taunt me with it all the time.”
John sighed and nodded, “She told me,” he said.
“Told you what? That she was the most vindictive little sister anyone could ever have?”
“No, that you had trouble with your R’s when you were young.”
Rodney shook his head and looked at the book again. “This is just mean, John.”
“I didn’t mean for it to be mean, Rodney, I just thought it might help.”
“Right, like it helped me?”
“Well, you do say your R’s now.”
“Only because this ridiculous book and my mean spirited sister drew my attention to the fact that my speech was inadequate. When she wasn’t calling me Meredith in front of my friends, she was calling me Wodney, I spent the better part of my life at home feeling completely mortified.”
John didn’t think he could feel any more like an ass. “She didn’t tell me that part,” he said.
“No, she probably wanted it to be a surprise, I thought I was past this, John.”
John sighed and patted Nathan’s leg and got up, he put Grace in the bassinet and went over to Rodney. He took the book and looked down at it. “I didn’t know this was going to bother you that badly, Rodney, and I’m sorry. It seemed like a good idea, you know, teach Nathan that even kids with a lisp are just as good as everyone else.”
“I suppose that was what the book was originally meant to do, but it’s been ruined.”
“We’ll get rid of it then,” John told him. “I’ll take it out right now and get rid of it. I’m sorry, Rodney.”
Rodney reached for the book and John handed it to him. “No, we don’t need to throw it away; we’ll just send it back to her. It’s probably the same one she had when we were kids.” He looked up at John and smiled softly, “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, and it’s not your fault. But I don’t understand why she sent it to us now.”
John dipped his head shamefully, “because I called her. I didn’t understand why it was so important for Nathan to speak correctly. She said that when you were young you couldn’t say R and that she had a book that had helped you. She sent it because I didn’t know why you were freaking out so much about Nathan’s speech. Now I know, and I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing,” Rodney said. “I wasn’t freaking out, He’s been talking like that for awhile now, if it was freaking out, I’d have started right away. I just don’t want him to get made fun of when he goes back to daycare; he’ll be in the two year old class when he goes back. Not to mention, I should have mentioned it to you so you wouldn’t have had to call Jeanie.”
John nodded and took the book from Rodney again. He took it into the kitchen and put it on top of the refrigerator before returning to Rodney and wrapping him in his arms. “Now that I know, I can be more helpful in teaching him proper pronunciation. In the mean time, why don’t I make lunch and we’ll forget all about that book?”
“Sounds good to me,” Rodney said and kissed John softly, “I’m sorry I yelled at you.”
John nodded and kissed Rodney in return, “And I’m sorry I… well, all of the above.” He chuckled and turned to face Nathan. “What should we have for lunch big guy?”
“Pantakes!” Nathan shouted happily.
John turned to Rodney and smiled, “pantakes it is,” he said.