Getting Naked For Cancer, or, Why Having Naked Pictures Taken of My Fat Body Did Not Kill Me

[onceupon]

My fat body is also a political body. I know this. Ways to use my body in a political fashion however... I've been a little shy about that sort of thing. I've had a livejournal for more than 5 years and it is only the last 3 years (years in which I have gained weight after significant -- though not on purpose -- weight loss) that I've stopped

Comments

[kaligrrrl]

holy crap, SO CUTE!!!

you radiate joy!

[onceupon]

Thank you so much.

[maeve66]

Your post is exactly why I am so happy this community exists. I loved every word, and the photo is absolutely wonderful (as is the related icon, WOW). You are hot, and cute, and gorgeous, and sexy.

I think seeing bodies that are similar to our own -- you're right, we are often kinder and fuller of love for them, but it can be a transition to accepting and loving our own bodies, too. I have to say I'm looking at some porn these days that serves that purpose, too -- Bodacious, for anyone who's interested, and also an online model, kinda Gothy, named Vivica Love. It's amazingly affirming to see bodies that are so similar to mine.

Thank you.

[onceupon]

OMG, Vivica Love! I love her!

I reached a point where I just didn't have the energy to keep hating myself -- it happened when I was working at a Lane Bryant and I was continually surrounded by beautiful fat women and awesome clothes. And, in selling clothes to other fat women, I realized that everything I was telling them had to be true for me as well. I'd never have reached that point if I hadn't been looking at representations that showed fat women in a positive light. When I no longer worked at the store, I really started noticing how scare it is -- not just in commercial media, but in general -- for fat women to be really visible and that made it a lot harder to feel confident and sexy.

Thank you and you are so welcome.

[fastfwd]

::standing ovation for you::

[onceupon]

Thank you so much.

[ladymeshel]

I already posted when you put this picture in your own lj...but seeing it again has made me think about my own body...and if I could post a photo like this of me in a public forum. I look at you and all I see is a beautiful sexy woman who looks joyful. And in thinking about it...I thought...no, even though I have fully naked pictures of me...I could never post them because I hate that roll I have between my breasts and belly. I LIKE my belly, but that roll...I hate. So, I looked at your picture again...oh, she has that too...hmmm...I didn't even notice it before. I need new lj icon photos anyway...perhaps I'll have Kate take some nude too this weekend and see if I'm as brave as you *smile*

[onceupon]

As I was writing this entry, I was really torn about making this a public post. It's definitely intimidating to think about just anyone being able to see me. Like that lj photo aggregator that pulls recently posted photos from public entries. That kind of freaks me out!

I think a lot of women are trained to look for flaws. And even when we overcome that with other women, will still look at our own bodies with a hypercritical eye that passes over all of our good points.

That roll.... That roll used to cause me so much grief. It is, along with the fatty bits on my back, the last part of my body I ever expected to find myself okay with, much less loving. But even as I sit here remembering all the things that I hated about it, I know that my reasons were kind of silly. Yes, it prevents there from being a straight vertical line from under my boobs to the hem of my skirt. Why was I ever so obsessed with that being a straight line anyway?

I know you and you are gorgeous.

[deathslilsister]

Wow, that photo is AMAZING.

I'm totally tempted to hand my boyfriend the camera and try some photos, I'd love to be half as comfortable in my body as you look in the photo.

[onceupon]

For me, loving my body has been a sort of two steps forward, one step (sometimes more) back dance. Do I expect this confidence and love of my body to last forever? No, probably not. At least not without some work. *grin*

And so I am making an effort to continue to have fun in my body. That keeps me in a mindset to love it.

Thank you.