Selective logic is a wonderful thing! The unimagineable weight of 250 pounds is probably literally unimagineable to the people who gasp upon reading this story; they probably can't picture what that weight actually looks like (on relatives, friends, coworkers and strangers ALL AROUND THEM). Hah!
It's so true though. People have no idea what 250 lbs really looks like. I've had so many conversations with friends who are like "I can't believe anyone would ever let themselves weight 200 lbs, can you imagine?" and are in utter disbelief when I tell them I'm 200+ (it varies, my weight has gone up and down lately). People think 200 lbs is absolutely gigantic when in reality, a lot of people weigh 200+ and don't "look it."
Absolutely fantastic - both the event, and the telling of it. This is a critically important idea, and I'm absolutely thrilled to read it and be reminded. Thank you!
Aw. *sniff* I'm glad it was a good moment for you. It's so hard to get past some of the stupid crap that's done to us when we're kids.
Besides, if they didn't like your shoes or your dress, what do they know? I remember how I dressed sometimes when I was a teenager - there's a reason that you hide your school yearbooks!
I had the same experience about 5 years ago. I was walking across campus, and there was a visiting group of high schoolers, and these girls were staring at me, and then they yelled after me, and all I could think was they were going to say something awful. And, you know what they said? "We like your hair." That's right, folks. They liked my pink hair.
I actually started volunteering at a youth center a couple years ago, and it took me a good 6 months to get over thinking the teenagers were going to be mean to me for no real reason. Some of the kids are snippy, but, really, 95% of them are lovely people.
Pink hair is awesome! :D And yeah, I can really feel you on how one must think of teenagers as people and individuals, and not "them darn teenagers". It took the personal experience of teaching a 15 year old the guitar to realize this for me, but better late than never :) Perhaps the next step would be to do something like you.
I used to think that when I was walking around in public, everyone around me who laughed or giggled, was laughing at me or mocking me; seriously! I pretty much projected every emotion other people had onto myself, convinced that something was my fault when they were angry or sad, convinced that I was being stupid or ugly when they were laughing - and thus amused by me.
It's so, so far from the truth. Other people tend to perceive you more positively than you perceive yourself most of the time (though there'll always be a couple of jerks.)
Yes, yes and yes! So very well put. And it's hard to snap out of this self-centered, detrimental mindset, even though we logically know that everybody, all the time, cannot be concerned with us and our looks (etc.), and even if they are, what are the odds that everyone around us is going to be a jerk. And you know what? Even jerks can be handled. I guess what I still struggle with is finding the balance between being neutral towards people until they say/do something to change my opinion of them, and being prepared with a witty comeback if a jerk says something jerky to me.
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Like being (gasp!) **250 lbs** is enough to make someone COLLAPSE!
Must be a lot of football-player guys lining the streets, huh?
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Sorry, something I always find funny ;)
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Besides, if they didn't like your shoes or your dress, what do they know? I remember how I dressed sometimes when I was a teenager - there's a reason that you hide your school yearbooks!
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I actually started volunteering at a youth center a couple years ago, and it took me a good 6 months to get over thinking the teenagers were going to be mean to me for no real reason. Some of the kids are snippy, but, really, 95% of them are lovely people.
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Pink hair is awesome! :D And yeah, I can really feel you on how one must think of teenagers as people and individuals, and not "them darn teenagers". It took the personal experience of teaching a 15 year old the guitar to realize this for me, but better late than never :) Perhaps the next step would be to do something like you.
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I used to think that when I was walking around in public, everyone around me who laughed or giggled, was laughing at me or mocking me; seriously! I pretty much projected every emotion other people had onto myself, convinced that something was my fault when they were angry or sad, convinced that I was being stupid or ugly when they were laughing - and thus amused by me.
It's so, so far from the truth. Other people tend to perceive you more positively than you perceive yourself most of the time (though there'll always be a couple of jerks.)
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