Skins Fic: plague your state of grace
plague your state of grace
michelle; michelle/effy (tony/michelle, tony/effy)- r
1125 words
spoilers to 1x09
i promised this to falseeeyelashes eons ago and, because i miss her so, i finally wrote it now, lol. for you, cherie. ♥
She wonders what they’re both looking for, absolution or memory.
kill me again with love,
it's gonna be a glorious day.
radiohead| lucky
-
Michelle’s going to turn eighteen at some point.
Mum’s worried, but they’re not best friends or anything so her hospital visits are restricted to two a week, after school and midweek.
“Pinch the birthday,” Cassie sings when it gets closer in hours.
Tony’s been empty for seven weeks. She’s just a little lost.
-
I love you, Michelle: Effy’s mouth is wide when she mouths the words, her hands extending in the air as she spins, spins, and spins. She’s been high for days, living in skirts and skins and covering her knees with grass stains like Cassie does.
“Somebody’s got to bloody watch her,” Jal says quietly.
Michelle doesn’t volunteer.
She isn’t high; she wishes she was. She sits next to Sid and Cassie these days, Cassie’s fingers dropping through her hair as if she were a child for indiscretions only. Michelle wants to hate her too, but the matter won’t last for timeless. Cassie is just Cassie, after all.
“Shouldn’t someone stop her?” Sid’s narrow, a trembling finger pushing his glasses back up his nose. He nods towards Effy, laughing at nothing and everything for the cliché.
She sighs softly, standing wordlessly. One foot in front of the other, she ends up in front of Tony’s sister, who’s stopped, and curls her fingers around the younger girl’s hip.
“You look very pretty today,” she says softly. Tony loves her so, by default, Michelle’s always loved Effy and her eyes. It’s how these things happen.
Her lips purse. “I mean it.”
Effy doesn’t smile, her fingers curling around her wrist. Michelle watches as she pulls it off her hip and brings it to her mouth. Effy’s tongue is warm against her skin, her teeth scraping against old lines.
“All right.” Michelle’s throat is dry.
Effy’s hair is limp, but she nods.
Home; there’s an empty pill box.
-
Can she love him again?
Of course, she can. He’s got to wake up.
Michelle’s been in love before, in love with love and boys who liked to slide cocks into her mouth. But Tony’s been more than just accountable for the stretch of her heartbreak, twisting her sense of ideal self-worth.
But does she really want him to wake up?- she thinks about this too.
-
Effy latches onto her.
Jal’s worried, Michelle doesn’t listen, and the two girls sweep hands, side by side, at Tony’s bedside.
“He’s not going to get up,” Michelle breathes tiredly. His mum and dad are out with the doctors again, two men with gray beards and hands with wrinkles.
Effy shrugs, dropping her hand against Michelle’s thigh. Her nails creep up her skin, harsh whispers peeling marks. She asked her once, a while ago, why she didn’t talk and was greeted with somewhat of a coy gaze and late turn of her lips. Michelle likes that Effy doesn’t smile, that she seemingly understands more than people do.
She sighs softly; there’s a rustle.
“Fine,” she relents. “You can stay with me.”
-
Mum isn’t surprised.
-
She unhooks the telephone by noon, has lunch with Sid and Cassie and listens to blurbs about ketchup and French fries.
“She’s going to love you too,” Cassie grins widely, spinning.
Sid frowns, but Michelle’s lips quirk when they come into view of her corner. She shrugs and waves to them as she walks the rest alone.
Effy’s on her steps, counting pills.
-
They want to send me away is carved into her desk, underneath a clean pair of knickers that she thought she lost.
Michelle frowns.
-
Effy kisses her over old episodes of Doctor Who because there’s nothing on and neither sleep much anyhow.
Michelle moans, letting the smaller girl breathe into her. Upstairs, Mum’s being loud again as she’s getting fucked: harder, harder makes her sound like a squealing pig, but Michelle’s not feeling particularly nasty.
The television courts static, black and grays, and they stop as a heap on one end. Michelle thinks her legs are too long, but keeps her hand in Effy’s hair as she drops to her back. Effy buries her mouth between her breasts, swallowing the fabric of her shirt.
The telly sings forever.
-
Tony’s room is cold.
It’s an eerie shrine, everything immaculately placed in corners, in the dresser, and the blinds are drawn shut. It’s his mum, naturally, because her Mum would’ve done the same exactly thing and blubbered too.
She’s kind of quiet today, still, only to jump as Effy’s arm snakes around her waist. There’s a tug and Michelle stumbles forward, her knees hitting the bed. There’s a slight parch of sound- Effy, she’s dazed- and the two girls tumble to the bed.
“Are you sure?” She whispers harshly.
Effy smirks, her tongue darting out. Two pills for two, her fingers pressing into Michelle’s hip. Her skirt rises, her legs bare and tangled with the smaller girl. This isn’t about betrayal or, maybe, it finally is. But Effy holds a strange sense of permission in her hands, in her mouth, and it makes her nervous.
“Are you sure?” Michelle asks again; she’s not a hypocrite and this is original.
Effy crushes her mouth against hers.
-
They fuck in Tony’s bed when the house is empty, Michelle’s tongue in Effy’s cunt.
Her skirts are short enough, her legs dangling over the younger girl’s shoulders as her hips rise with each gasp. It isn’t enough though and she wonders what they’re both looking for, absolution or memory.
But it starts.
-
“M’thinking about leaving,” she tells Jal.
Jal swallows. “Where will you go?”
Jal is the best friend, shoulder to cry on, and never far. It’s no different that she understands Michelle’s let’s stop being kids now.
“Dunno,” she shrugs finally.
-
Michelle fingers Effy in the back of their cab, on the way to the hospital, while Effy swallows speed with two giggles.
They’re late. Effy was dancing in the middle of the room, Jim Morrison crooning to them both. Never a love song, but it’s not what she needs to hear. Hopelessness is the new excuse these days.
“That’s a girl,” she coos, but half the time she doesn’t know what she’s saying. Her fingers are wet; one, two, three. “That’s a good girl.”
Effy comes over her fingers, giggling again when her palms slam against the window. Her hand’s sticky, but she nuzzles it like Tony would, a mischievous grin splitting her mouth as the younger girl drops to her lap.
(a michelle habit, Cassie points out gleefully at a party, and now, you’re tony too)
Michelle doesn’t say I love you; Effy bites her neck anyway.
-
They’re starting to talk about taking Tony off the wires.
Sid curses. And Cassie laughs: don’t you see?
end.
michelle; michelle/effy (tony/michelle, tony/effy)- r
1125 words
spoilers to 1x09
i promised this to falseeeyelashes eons ago and, because i miss her so, i finally wrote it now, lol. for you, cherie. ♥
She wonders what they’re both looking for, absolution or memory.
kill me again with love,
it's gonna be a glorious day.
radiohead| lucky
-
Michelle’s going to turn eighteen at some point.
Mum’s worried, but they’re not best friends or anything so her hospital visits are restricted to two a week, after school and midweek.
“Pinch the birthday,” Cassie sings when it gets closer in hours.
Tony’s been empty for seven weeks. She’s just a little lost.
-
I love you, Michelle: Effy’s mouth is wide when she mouths the words, her hands extending in the air as she spins, spins, and spins. She’s been high for days, living in skirts and skins and covering her knees with grass stains like Cassie does.
“Somebody’s got to bloody watch her,” Jal says quietly.
Michelle doesn’t volunteer.
She isn’t high; she wishes she was. She sits next to Sid and Cassie these days, Cassie’s fingers dropping through her hair as if she were a child for indiscretions only. Michelle wants to hate her too, but the matter won’t last for timeless. Cassie is just Cassie, after all.
“Shouldn’t someone stop her?” Sid’s narrow, a trembling finger pushing his glasses back up his nose. He nods towards Effy, laughing at nothing and everything for the cliché.
She sighs softly, standing wordlessly. One foot in front of the other, she ends up in front of Tony’s sister, who’s stopped, and curls her fingers around the younger girl’s hip.
“You look very pretty today,” she says softly. Tony loves her so, by default, Michelle’s always loved Effy and her eyes. It’s how these things happen.
Her lips purse. “I mean it.”
Effy doesn’t smile, her fingers curling around her wrist. Michelle watches as she pulls it off her hip and brings it to her mouth. Effy’s tongue is warm against her skin, her teeth scraping against old lines.
“All right.” Michelle’s throat is dry.
Effy’s hair is limp, but she nods.
Home; there’s an empty pill box.
-
Can she love him again?
Of course, she can. He’s got to wake up.
Michelle’s been in love before, in love with love and boys who liked to slide cocks into her mouth. But Tony’s been more than just accountable for the stretch of her heartbreak, twisting her sense of ideal self-worth.
But does she really want him to wake up?- she thinks about this too.
-
Effy latches onto her.
Jal’s worried, Michelle doesn’t listen, and the two girls sweep hands, side by side, at Tony’s bedside.
“He’s not going to get up,” Michelle breathes tiredly. His mum and dad are out with the doctors again, two men with gray beards and hands with wrinkles.
Effy shrugs, dropping her hand against Michelle’s thigh. Her nails creep up her skin, harsh whispers peeling marks. She asked her once, a while ago, why she didn’t talk and was greeted with somewhat of a coy gaze and late turn of her lips. Michelle likes that Effy doesn’t smile, that she seemingly understands more than people do.
She sighs softly; there’s a rustle.
“Fine,” she relents. “You can stay with me.”
-
Mum isn’t surprised.
-
She unhooks the telephone by noon, has lunch with Sid and Cassie and listens to blurbs about ketchup and French fries.
“She’s going to love you too,” Cassie grins widely, spinning.
Sid frowns, but Michelle’s lips quirk when they come into view of her corner. She shrugs and waves to them as she walks the rest alone.
Effy’s on her steps, counting pills.
-
They want to send me away is carved into her desk, underneath a clean pair of knickers that she thought she lost.
Michelle frowns.
-
Effy kisses her over old episodes of Doctor Who because there’s nothing on and neither sleep much anyhow.
Michelle moans, letting the smaller girl breathe into her. Upstairs, Mum’s being loud again as she’s getting fucked: harder, harder makes her sound like a squealing pig, but Michelle’s not feeling particularly nasty.
The television courts static, black and grays, and they stop as a heap on one end. Michelle thinks her legs are too long, but keeps her hand in Effy’s hair as she drops to her back. Effy buries her mouth between her breasts, swallowing the fabric of her shirt.
The telly sings forever.
-
Tony’s room is cold.
It’s an eerie shrine, everything immaculately placed in corners, in the dresser, and the blinds are drawn shut. It’s his mum, naturally, because her Mum would’ve done the same exactly thing and blubbered too.
She’s kind of quiet today, still, only to jump as Effy’s arm snakes around her waist. There’s a tug and Michelle stumbles forward, her knees hitting the bed. There’s a slight parch of sound- Effy, she’s dazed- and the two girls tumble to the bed.
“Are you sure?” She whispers harshly.
Effy smirks, her tongue darting out. Two pills for two, her fingers pressing into Michelle’s hip. Her skirt rises, her legs bare and tangled with the smaller girl. This isn’t about betrayal or, maybe, it finally is. But Effy holds a strange sense of permission in her hands, in her mouth, and it makes her nervous.
“Are you sure?” Michelle asks again; she’s not a hypocrite and this is original.
Effy crushes her mouth against hers.
-
They fuck in Tony’s bed when the house is empty, Michelle’s tongue in Effy’s cunt.
Her skirts are short enough, her legs dangling over the younger girl’s shoulders as her hips rise with each gasp. It isn’t enough though and she wonders what they’re both looking for, absolution or memory.
But it starts.
-
“M’thinking about leaving,” she tells Jal.
Jal swallows. “Where will you go?”
Jal is the best friend, shoulder to cry on, and never far. It’s no different that she understands Michelle’s let’s stop being kids now.
“Dunno,” she shrugs finally.
-
Michelle fingers Effy in the back of their cab, on the way to the hospital, while Effy swallows speed with two giggles.
They’re late. Effy was dancing in the middle of the room, Jim Morrison crooning to them both. Never a love song, but it’s not what she needs to hear. Hopelessness is the new excuse these days.
“That’s a girl,” she coos, but half the time she doesn’t know what she’s saying. Her fingers are wet; one, two, three. “That’s a good girl.”
Effy comes over her fingers, giggling again when her palms slam against the window. Her hand’s sticky, but she nuzzles it like Tony would, a mischievous grin splitting her mouth as the younger girl drops to her lap.
(a michelle habit, Cassie points out gleefully at a party, and now, you’re tony too)
Michelle doesn’t say I love you; Effy bites her neck anyway.
-
They’re starting to talk about taking Tony off the wires.
Sid curses. And Cassie laughs: don’t you see?
end.