[anonymous text] - locked from Crash

[fasternlightbot]

I can't believe I'm doing this but, how do you tell the difference between loving someone and loving your idea of them?

I'll even pay whoever gives the best advice.

Comments

[scrapperzen]

You can tell the difference by whether or not you love them even when they don't live up to your ideals.

Love survives in spite of trials and tribulations.

[fasternlightbot]

It's not ideals, I don't think, it's that.... I thought they were someone else, is as close as I can explain it.

[scrapperzen]

Isn't that what an ideal is, though?

Regardless. You've got your own view of someone else. If they don't live up to that view, and you still love them, well... It's probably a good sign.

Anything worth having is worth fighting for, after all.

[fasternlightbot]

I always thought of it more of what you hoped something to be.

Either way, I'm not sure if I do or if I'm attached to who I thought they were.

[foxynindegozaru]

I've never been in a relationship myself so I can only say what I've observed of others and in manga, de gozaru.

Loving your idea of someone is something that can lead to obsession and fights quite often, causing a relationship to crash and burn in disputes because they are showing a part of themselves you don't like and you don't want to accept.
However if you love that person and not simply your own idea, then you can accept the fact they have points that you won't always like or agree on, and are willing to work with that without constant problems.

[fasternlightbot]

I see. And if it's the first, how do you fix that? Can it be fixed? Or is the relationship doomed?

[foxynindegozaru]

I wouldn't say that, de gozaru. I think what it takes is just learning to be more tolerable of their faults. Arguments will still happen even if sticking together, thus the term "Old Married Couple", so don't be dissuaded by that. Just don't chase them and try to force them to be what you want them to be, and let them be who they are. Make sense, de gozaru?

[fasternlightbot]

So.... learn to love who they are and not who you thought they were? What if I can't do that?

[justoutrunyou]

Um...

huh.

I guess...the more you get to know someone the less they seem perfect, but if you really love them even the stuff that isn't perfect, or is downright annoying is perfect because you love them?

...I dunno geeze.

[fasternlightbot]

I thought I knew them and we used to get along great, but they're different now and all we do is fight. Does that mean I don't actually love them? This is so confusing.

[justoutrunyou]

No...no hold on I gotta think about this...

You know Sandy you're not even a teenager yet no one would fault you for not having a good idea of love...

Hey screw you! Anyway, maybe you loved them, but because they changed it's different now. I mean...you can't help it if they aren't the same person you knew before right? If they've really changed that much that you can't love who they are now doesn't mean you didn't love them before.

[fasternlightbot]

Well, they didn't really change. It just seems that way to me. I guess it's like this is a different side of them? I don't know what to call it.

[redundantname]

There's a difference?

You can't really know people. Just what you judge by the outside.

[fasternlightbot]

Yes.

You can if you pay enough attention.

[redundantname]

But what if they end up surprising you?

Look, not saying to give up, just... trust in your own judgment more.

[fasternlightbot]

You're being confusing. And my judgment got me in this mess and has ditched me here.