[one-shot] Love or Jealousy
Title: Love or Jealousy
Author: faradakiut
Pairing: nino-centric, Sakumiya (onesided), Sakuraiba, and a tiny Matsumiya
Rating: PG
Genre: romance, angst
Summary: Was it love I’m feeling or was it just jealousy?
Disclaimer: I’ve spend about rm300++ on Arashi… and that’s about that… think I can own them with that? (-_-“)
Warning: un-beta so pardon the mistakes...
This is so unfair, I thought as I watched the two sitting side by side, enjoying each others company. It should’ve been me. I managed to look away as Sho leaned toward the other to whisper something that made the other giggled like a girl. My heart ached as I saw Sho rested his hand on his partner’s lap as they talked.
“Nino?” I lifted his head to the voice to find Riida, who was sitting across me, looking worriedly towards me. He must found my face contorted in a funny way or something. “Are you ok?” came the question. I just smiled weakly and nodded my head. How could I possibly tell Riida my problem? He wouldn’t understand.
“Don’t worry, captain. He most probably just lost his game, or money, to make him sulking like that. I bet it’s nothing serious,” Jun said as he walked to where we were sitting. He took his place beside Riida and reached for a magazine lying on the coffee table. I smiled reassuringly to Riida to show him that I’m fine even though I’m not and Riida seemed to have notice. He opened his mouth to ask again but the AD came at a good timing. He was asking for Riida to reshoot his part.
“Coming,” Riida replied as he walked to the door. I watched as he disappeared behind the door before hearing a voice calling for me.
“Nino~,” I turned to Aiba who was now standing in front of me. He was ready to go home as I saw him wearing his backpack. I was about to reached for my stuff when I heard him continued. “Sorry but I can’t go home with you today. Sho-chan asked me to-”
“Sure,” I cut him short and reached for the newspaper instead. Lucky me that no one seemed to notice anything. I can feel that he was taken aback upon receiving my cold respond but I decided to ignore it.
“Come on, Aiba-chan,” Sho called from the door. He acted as if he couldn’t wait to be alone with Aiba. He was leaning on the doorway when I looked at him. He smiled sheepishly as our eyes met.
“I’m coming,” Aiba said to Sho before turning back at me. “I’ll call you later, then?”
“Yeah, whatever,” I said without looking at him and only looked up as I heard the door close. I didn’t miss the hurt look in his eyes before he went to Sho and walked out together. I knew he didn’t deserve my cold attitude as he knew nothing of this matter but I just couldn’t stand his closeness with Sho.
He should’ve known. He was my best friend for as long as we’ve known each other. He should’ve realized the sign I’ve shown, the smile on my face whenever I talked about Sho to him, how I reacted whenever Sho was around. He should’ve known that I’ve been in love with Sho since forever, if he was truly my ‘best’ friend.
I’ve loved Sho long before anyone ever realized that Jun had some crush on him but I managed to hide it perfectly unlike Jun. I’ve been charmed by Sakurai Sho with his traits, just like Jun, although he strongly denied it. When he was already get over his crush and go on with his life, my feeling towards Sho grew stronger each passing days. Everything about him attracted me to him. His face, his voice, his brain and not to mention, his body. I’ve even tried to initiate fan service with him before with Riida. But unlike Riida, I didn’t receive positive response from him. Sadly he’s too dense to have notice anything.
I was very happy when I received an offer to act in a same drama with Sho. That meant I have a lot of time to spend with him, just the two of us without the rest of Arashi. However, the problem started due to the certain happening in the middle of filming our drama. Sho-
“What’s your problem?” a voice suddenly invaded my thoughts. I knew it was Jun’s because it was just us in the room. It annoyed me as he was talking without taking his eyes off the magazine he was reading.
“What do you mean?” I asked back, looking intently at him.
“Nothing,” he said as he stood up and threw the magazine back on the table. “I’m off to shooting now,” he yawned and stretched his body as his walked slowly to the door. “Oh, and Ninomiya,” he called. I looked up to him with annoyance. “You’re being too obvious,” he managed before closing the door. I titled my head trying to get what he was saying before leaning back into the couch.
---
As promised, Aiba did call me that night, but I only realized it in the morning after I turned my phone back ON. Not that I intentionally turned it OFF, but it’s just I didn’t realize that my battery was dead and I forgot to recharge it. I had more than 10 miscalls and text messages from him asking whether I’m alright or not also a few texts from other members as well. We had a photo shoot this morning and I was already 5 minutes late.
When I arrived at the greenroom, Aiba was there sitting on the couch, staring intently at the cellphone in his hand. I presumed that he was waiting for me as he stood abruptly upon seeing me entered the room. I took a glance at him but said nothing as I went to put my stuff down. One could tell that he hadn’t been sleeping since last night judging by the very visible dark line under his eyes even after covering it with make up. I choose to believe that he was out playing with Sho until morning rather than waiting for me to return his call.
“Nino-”
“Where’s the other?” I asked firmly as soon as I heard him.
“They’ve gone first. I said I’m going to wait for you,” he answered despite my tone. “I was worried since you weren’t answering your phone last night. And I’ve tried to reach you this morning and still no answer. Are you ok?”
“Fine,” I answered nonchalantly. I sat on the couch and saw that Aiba was about to sit across from me but stopped in the middle due to my responds.
“Are you mad at me?” he asked suddenly causing me to look at him. His face looked as if he was about to cry anytime soon so I turned my face away from him, stoning my heart to not fall into his trap. He was known to melt anyone’s heart with his tears intentionally or not.
“Why would I be?” I asked back. I still refused to look him in the eyes as I busied myself with anything on the table.
“I- I don’t know. I thought maybe I’ve done something,” he said sadly as he looked down to his feet. He always did that whenever he felt so insecure. I continued to give him my back even though I knew him very well that tears had started to form in his eyes. “I’m very sorry if it’s about yesterday. Sho insisted that-”
“Enough. I’m not mad at you,” I said without even let him finished his last sentence. I’m not interested to hear how he spent his time with Sho yesterday. I slumped down on the couch and closed my eyes. “Now, can you leave me alone? I need to think and I can’t, whenever you’re around.”
“Em, Nino-” Aiba hesitantly and I saw his body jerked a little when I opened my eyes and looked up to him. “They want us there asap,” he continued with a soft voice. I nodded and closed my eyes once again, hinting for him to go there first and I took that he understood upon hearing the door closed.
I sighed heavily as I recalled my attitude toward him and mentally reminding myself to apologize later but as soon as I reached the studio and saw the two acting so lovey dovey in front of the camera, the feeling of guilt in my heart was quickly replaced by major jealousy. I watched on how happy Sho was as he linked fingers with Aiba, smiling and grinning towards the camera, wishing it was me and swiftly turned away as I noticed Aiba was looking at me.
“Where were you?” Jun asked as I took my place between him and Riida. I choose to ignore him and rested my head on Riida’s shoulder. As if I’m going to tell him I’ve spend all night playing games. Jun and Riida had already done with their part and just stick around since both didn’t have any plan.
“Ninomiya-san,” a voice called. I was grateful to whoever called me so that I wouldn’t have to answer. I gave Jun a side look before going in front of the camera, wearing my best smile.
As I went past the two, I smiled back when Sho smiled at me but turned away when Aiba did the same. My behavior, however, didn’t go unnoticed by one person. As soon as I finished my session, he went to me and pulled me with him. “What-” I struggled to free myself but stopped upon seeing Jun’s serious face.
“You’re coming with me.”
---
He pushed me into an empty room and if wasn’t for the fact that he pushed me on the chair and wearing a serious expression on his face, instead of straddling me on the table (which was the only thing available in the room, if not on the floor, to jump someone), I might think that he might be thinking of doing something indecent to me. I didn’t blame him if he did anyway, because I know I was, after all, irresistible. If only Sho thought the same.
“What?” I asked after a few minutes of silence. Jun leaned against the wall and looked intently at me. “What do you want?” I asked again.
“What’s with you and Aiba?”
“I don’t understand what you mean,” I looked away avoiding his gaze.
“The fact that he was looking all gloomy since yesterday,” Jun started “… and this morning when he said he was going to wait for you but you guys ended up showing separately.”
“I just need sometime to get ready so that’s why I ask him to go first,”
“It’s about Sho, isn’t it?” he attacked. I looked up to him with wide eyes, surprised on how daring he could be. Then my mind brought me back to a few days ago.
“Sho, wait up,” I called. He was already on his way out. We had just finished our take on our drama and was about to head for a drink he promised me days ago. He had his stuff and was ready to open the door, stopped and turned towards me. “Let’s go.”
“Ah, sorry, Nino. I can’t today,” Sho clasped his hands together and smiled sheepishly to me. “I’ve promise Masaki to have dinner with him.”
“Oh,” I tried not to sound too disappointed. “Some other time, then.”
“I promise you, tomorrow,” he shouted and waved at me before running hastily to catch the elevator. To my dismay, he forgot our ‘date’ once again the next day and had promised Aiba to watch movie with him. Ok, so maybe Aiba needed his company more than me but a thing he asked me the next day really surprised me.
“Nino,” he called putting down his scrip. We were on location for our drama. I was playing my DS while he tried to memorize his lines one final time. The staffs and other casts were out to lunch leaving the room to ourselves.
“What?” I responded without taking my eyes of my DS.
“Where would you like to go if I take you on a date?” my fingers stopped moving and my ears were all opened wide. Did I just hear what I heard?
“Wh- what?” I asked to make sure it wasn’t only my imagination playing me.
“You heard me, where would you like to go if I was to take you on a date?”
“Well,” I fidgeted on my sit, trying to picture where I would want to go with him. “Anywhere’s fine, I guess. As long as you’re there with me,” I answered earnestly.
“You’re such a sweet talker,” Sho chuckled. “As expected from a Hollywood star.” I smiled widely hearing him saying those; I nearly missed his next words. “I wonder if Masaki think the same,” I heard him saying softly.
“What?” I asked causing him to blush.
“Ah, you hear me,” he pulled his chair closer to me and started whispering. “Don’t tell anyone… but I’m thinking of confessing.”
“To whom?”
“Masaki, of course. Who else?” I felt as if being struck by a lightning hearing that name. It was Aiba after all. Silly me, thinking that finally Sho realized how I felt for him. I ended up avoiding him for the rest of the day.
A tapping sound took me back to the present. Jun knocked the table to bring me back to my senses. “Is it?”
“What? No,” I tried to deny when I knew the fact that he knew. I looked everywhere but him.
“Cut the crap. We both know what’s going on here.”
“None of your business,” I said back as I knew it would be useless to try to deny when he already knew. “Leave me alone.”
“I hate to see you treating Aiba-chan like that,” Jun’s face softened a little upon saying Aiba’s name. Could it be possible that Jun had changed his target form Sho to Aiba? What do they saw in him anyway? That stupid, good for nothing boy. Again I remind you, I do not hate Aiba-chan. It’s complicated.
“I see,” I said quietly as I looked up to him. So, I was right as he started to look like he just told me the biggest secret of all time. “It wasn’t just about me and Sho after all.”
“What do you mean?” Jun raised his eyebrows acting as if he didn’t understand what I was trying to say.
“You know exactly what I mean. I don’t need you to tell me what to do when you’re the one to talk,” I said before slamming the door shut. I turned to walk away but stopped abruptly as I saw someone standing in front of me. Judging by how he smiled at me, I was positive that he was oblivious to the conversation in the room just now. But I can never be so sure, so I asked anyway, “Aiba, how long have you been standing here?”
“Ah, I just got here. I didn’t know you’re inside, Nino,” Aiba said cheerfully making me more sure that he heard nothing. “I should get going. I’m late for Shimura Doubutsen,” he continued before walking away towards the elevator. “See you later.”
Jun choose the moment to step outside. “Is that Aiba? Does he hear anything?”
“I don’t think so… and I want it to stay that way,” I said looking at Jun as if daring him to mention anything to Aiba.
“Whatever. It’s your lost,” Jun managed before turning to the opposite way.
---
A few days went by slowly before and I noticed something different. Aiba was no longer sitting near Sho and Sho seemed to have notice it. He would glance to Aiba constantly while doing his work. And when he asked why, Aiba just said that he wouldn’t want to disturb his work. Not like he’d ever cared before.
I also heard from Jun that whenever Sho had called for Aiba off work; the lad would always gave excuses not to go or would agree to meet but not turning up when the time came. My ego prevented me from believing that Aiba was avoiding Sho for an obvious reason, instead I took as he had found himself something more interesting than Sho. Riida seemed oblivious to the matter since Aiba would act as his normal cheerful self whenever the three of us in the room while Jun chose to let me be as I told him to.
“Masaki, please,” I heard Sho one day. Riida and Jun had already went home and next work, respectively while I’m stuck with the other two waiting for someone to take me home since I’m too tired to take a train home.
“I’m sorry, Sho-chan, but I can’t,” Aiba pushed Sho’s hand back to his owner. “I’ve promised to help Matsujun with something later. You should ask someone else. Maybe Nino is available tonight.”
I looked up from my DS to both of them upon hearing my name being mention. I stood and went to them as Aiba signaled me to do so and saw two tickets in Sho’s hand. Sho reluctantly looked at me and something in his eyes told me to tell Aiba that I’m not free but I wasn’t about to lose my chance here. “I don’t have anything after this,” I said causing Sho’s face to fall.
“Great, it’s settled then,” Aiba clasped his hands together and pushed me closer to Sho. “You guys should get going now or you’ll be late.”
“Masaki, I-” Sho called but I was fast to pull him with me.
“Come on,” I managed to get our stuff on our way to the door. Sho’s steps were slow and heavy as we went to the elevator.
“Have fun,” we heard Aiba’s somewhat cheerful voice as the elevator close but I didn’t fail to saw him looking down in sadness just before the elevator’s doors closed.
“So, where are we going, Sho?” I asked him as I linked my hand with him and rest my head on his shoulder. I felt his body stiffened but I continued to maintain our body contact as long as possible.
---
The next day I went early to work (I couldn’t sleep as I was so happy with my so-called date with Sho yesterday) and accidently saw Sho cornering Aiba, backing him against the wall. The two of them always turned up early in the morning which was normal for a very diligent-Sho and currently-busy-Aiba.
“Masaki, why are you doing this?” I heard Sho. I knew it was wrong to eavesdrop but this is Sho we’re talking about and I felt the need to listen.
“I don’t understand what you’re saying,” Aiba’s voice was all trembling so I decided to take a peek. Their faces were now dangerously close to each other.
“Why won’t you answer my call outside anymore? Why won’t you talk to me anymore? And most importantly, why am I feeling that you’re practically pushing me to Nino?” My heart ached a little hearing those words. Sho was saying it as if being pushed to me was a bad thing. “Tell me if I do something wrong because I’m out of reasons here.”
“It’s nothing,” Aiba said with a calm voice but 10 years were enough to tell me that he was trembling inside.
“So, why?”
“I’m busy. I do have something else to do besides Arashi, you know. It’s not like I’m free all the time.”
“That’s not what I mean and you know it,” Sho’s voice softened a little.
“Everyone’s going to be here soon,” Aiba tried to push Sho but Sho was fast to grip his wrist.
“I won’t let you leave until you tell me what’s wrong,” Sho said determinedly. “You know how I feel for you.” I found myself hurting upon hearing these. So he already told Aiba “but you didn’t even bother to answer. Am I that not important for you.”
“Sho-chan, please, don’t do this to me.”
“At least, tell me,” Sho pleaded. “Give me something.”
“I-” I listened quietly as I was also interested about it. “I’m sorry.” Hearing Aiba, I let go of my breath which I didn’t realize I was holding.
“Masaki,” Sho called weakly. “Are you-”
“I’m sorry, Sakurai-san.”
“Fine,” Sho let go of Aiba’s hand and went to the door. “I won’t bother you anymore, Aiba-san.” I managed to hide myself as Sho went passed me. I stayed in my position for a little while before hearing a soft sob coming from the room.
The Sakuraiba pair seemed to have cut their lovey dovey act after that, as if they finally realized that would make someone puke (or in my case, jealous). Sho would silently do his work on the table at the corner while Aiba would casually disturbed Riida or Jun for some entertainment at the other corner of the room.
I didn’t fail to notice that both would steal glances to each other separately whenever they thought no one was looking. This continued to the point where Sho had stopped calling for Aiba and words exchange between the two reduced drastically. And for once, I felt genuinely guity.
---
Sho was in the room doing his work, when I arrived that morning. Looking at the stuff in the room, I can tell that Aiba had also arrived but he was no where to be seen.
“Morning, Sho,” I greeted Sho as I took my place beside him. Even with Aiba out of the way, Sho seemed to be as hard as ever to be approached. He seemed to have distanced himself from everyone in the group. He would refuse every time someone asked him out or simply out for a drink. He gave ZERO as an excuse but I knew the truth behind his behavior.
I knew deep inside I had already given up on him but jealousy seemed to have taken over me. I only realized that when I felt I wasn’t badly hurt whenever he let me down. I refused to let anyone have Sho if I can’t have him. “Are you alone?” I asked as he turned to reply.
“Yeah, since I got here this morning.” I can see him glancing over to the backpack lying beside the door which giving a sign that Aiba was already in the building.
“I wonder where Aiba’d gone,” I said to look at his reaction.
“Me too,” he responded without taking his eyes off his notebook. He was focusing too much on the article. But I knew something was off. I stood up and went to the door.
“I’m going to pee, don’t wait up,” I said as I stepped outside. “Sho,” I called one last time.
“Um?”
“You’re typing the same sentence for the fourth time now.” I watched him through the door. He went through his article but decided not continue as he closed his notebook and leaned back, sighing heavily.
---
I walked aimlessly around the building as I knew there was much time before recording. As I went past the end of the corridor, I heard sobbing coming from the stairs. I climbed up to the roof and quietly pushed open the door. The sunlight blinded me and at the same time the sobbing sound grew louder. I managed to recognize the sobbing as I practically have heard it all my life. I walked to the origin of the sound to the corner of the rooftop and found a person crouching with face buried between his knees behind the huge water tank.
“Aiba?”
“Ah, Nino.” He stood up and wiped the tears off his face. “Sorry I don’t hear you come.”
“Why are you crying?” I asked even though I’m completely aware of the reason.
“I’m not crying. Something got inside my eyes,” he chuckled, or at least tried to.
I sighed as I took my place beside him and mentioning him to sit back down. We sat there in silence for a few minutes before I decided to question him. “It’s about Sho isn’t it?”
“Eh?” he seemed to miss my words as he was too occupied with his thoughts. I sighed before repeating myself and saw his eyes widened. He must have thought I was oblivious to his doing. “You don’t have to deny it. I know that you’ve heard us outside the door that time.”
“I’m sorry, Nino. I swear not to go near Sho next time,” he started blabbering nonsense with his growing sob. It was kind of annoying if you don’t know him well. Lucky him I knew him since forever. He hastily wiped the tears off his face while continuing, “I’ll tell him to stay away from me and go to-”
“Are you an idiot?” I cut him short. He raised his eyebrows causing me to repeat myself, again.
“I- sorry,” instead of answering me or denying it, he apologized. Could it be that he really thought himself as an idiot?
“Do you love Sho?”
“What?”
“I said, do you love Sho?” I rolled my eyes and sighed. “Do I have to repeat myself twice every time?”
“Sorry.”
“Quit saying sorry to everything.”
“Sor- I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.”
“Say ‘I love you’.”
“To you?”
“No, you idiot. To Sho.”
“Oh. Eh, but what about you?”
“I don’t love you!” I snapped. “Not like that.”
“No, no. I mean, what about you and Sho?” Aiba said but quickly covered his mouth upon seeing my eyes widened.
“So, you really did all that for me.”
“I- I-” Aiba looked down to his feet. He played with his fingers the habit I realized he had whenever he felt anxious or nervous about something.
“Besides, I have someone else now, so you can have him.”
“Really?” he looked up to me and for the first time since a few days of despair his eyes brightened up with curiosity with his cheery voice. “Who is it?”
“Do I have to report back everything to you?” I intentionally snapped causing him to look back down.
“No, sor-” Aiba looked up hesitating whether to say it or not.
“Just say it,” I sighed. It was his trait, after all, to apologize for everything. “You’ll never stop saying that word anyway.”
“Sorry, Nino.” Aiba said timidly. “Are we friends again?”
“I didn’t remember breaking off my friendship with you,” I said as I swung my hand on his shoulder. “Now, go to him.”
“I- I can’t,” Aiba said sadly. “He hates me. I’ve cause him to hate me.”
“He can’t hate you,” I pushed him to the door. “Trust me. No one can.” Or someone might’ve found your body floating in the ocean right now, I continued mentally.
“But-” he turned to look at me sadly.
“No buts.”
“Thank you, Nino,” he pulled me into a hug. “you know what? Even you don’t love me, I still love you,” he said before running down the stairs.
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” To my surprise, instead of feeling heartache, I felt relief. I was right after all about my jealousy towards those two. It was long since I’ve got over Sho. It was just my jealousy that had been holding me back. I wouldn’t mind the two getting together. After all, idiots do belong together.
“Ehem,” I turned to the exit and saw Jun smiling back at me.
---
“You know,” Jun started as we peeked inside our greenroom that was currently occupied by Sho and Aiba and watched the two from outside. Aiba was trying to get Sho attention while the other tried his best to ignore him. Sakurai and his ego, I know because I felt that most of the time. “I’ve already told Aiba how I feel,” Jun continued.
“Rejected?” I asked while still looking at the couple. Aiba was now looking sad and was about to give up when he suddenly being turned around and pulled into a kiss. “Whoa-” our eyes widened to the view.
“So, he CAN do that,” Jun smirked, talking about Sho. Aiba was still stiff from the kiss when Sho pulled away from him and grin. He was still in daze when Sho once again claimed his lips. We watched as the two enjoyed each other’s touches before Jun pulled me away as the couple became too intimate. “Nah, he accepted it and we’ve already gone on a date a couple of times,” Jun continued.
“What? Oh, then, why?” I refused to move from our spot and we decided to continue observing those two in the room. Well, I did while Jun decided to just keep talking to me.
“That idiot could stop talking about Sho. Sho this, Sho that. That really got me angry. How could he mention someone else’s name when going on a date with me? ME, the great one.”
“Yeah, sure. So you decided to let him go?”
“Well, I practically push him to Sho,” Jun grinned. “Sorry.”
“Wait, what? Why?” Jun was getting my full attention now. How could he push Aiba to Sho? When he already had his chance and maybe mine will come one day if only he would keep Aiba with him. This stupid, good for nothing DoS.
“Don’t you see how those two look at each other every time? Smiling and grinning like idiots.”
“I can see your point,” I nodded agreeing with him.
“He was all to confess, but then, he learns about you. That you hated him for being with Sho,” Jun turned his face to the couple who was now sitting side by side on the couch, leaning to each other, whispering and giggling about something only they knew. “He overheard us that time.”
“Knew it.”
“So, I told him if he didn’t do anything, I’ll make his life a living hell. Well, I gave him two choices though,” he smirked. “Either to deal with your temper or face my rage.”
“Whoa,” I said looking at Jun in disbelieve. “So that’s why he’s crying like crazy when I found him. Wait,” I suddenly remembered his words for me. “Why are you asking me to tell Sho how I feel when you’ve already told Aiba to do the same?”
“I just thought it would be more fun this way. But you’re too proud to confess.”
“Evil DoS,” I squinted my eyes to stress my point.
“Well now that they’re together, it’s all worth it,” Jun smiled in satisfaction. “And don’t worry, Kazu. You can have me,” he said as he swung his hand around my shoulder.
“I’ll pass,” I said simply as I tried to free myself from him.
-End-
----
i failed and technology hates me...
my handphone being a bitch just as the same time my internet connection got cut...
and i have about 3 stories to finish but ended up doing this one...huhu...
forgive me... i promise to finish all during this holiday...
hope u enjoy this one though...it's the first time i try to do this kind of point of view..
<3 fara
Author: faradakiut
Pairing: nino-centric, Sakumiya (onesided), Sakuraiba, and a tiny Matsumiya
Rating: PG
Genre: romance, angst
Summary: Was it love I’m feeling or was it just jealousy?
Disclaimer: I’ve spend about rm300++ on Arashi… and that’s about that… think I can own them with that? (-_-“)
Warning: un-beta so pardon the mistakes...
This is so unfair, I thought as I watched the two sitting side by side, enjoying each others company. It should’ve been me. I managed to look away as Sho leaned toward the other to whisper something that made the other giggled like a girl. My heart ached as I saw Sho rested his hand on his partner’s lap as they talked.
“Nino?” I lifted his head to the voice to find Riida, who was sitting across me, looking worriedly towards me. He must found my face contorted in a funny way or something. “Are you ok?” came the question. I just smiled weakly and nodded my head. How could I possibly tell Riida my problem? He wouldn’t understand.
“Don’t worry, captain. He most probably just lost his game, or money, to make him sulking like that. I bet it’s nothing serious,” Jun said as he walked to where we were sitting. He took his place beside Riida and reached for a magazine lying on the coffee table. I smiled reassuringly to Riida to show him that I’m fine even though I’m not and Riida seemed to have notice. He opened his mouth to ask again but the AD came at a good timing. He was asking for Riida to reshoot his part.
“Coming,” Riida replied as he walked to the door. I watched as he disappeared behind the door before hearing a voice calling for me.
“Nino~,” I turned to Aiba who was now standing in front of me. He was ready to go home as I saw him wearing his backpack. I was about to reached for my stuff when I heard him continued. “Sorry but I can’t go home with you today. Sho-chan asked me to-”
“Sure,” I cut him short and reached for the newspaper instead. Lucky me that no one seemed to notice anything. I can feel that he was taken aback upon receiving my cold respond but I decided to ignore it.
“Come on, Aiba-chan,” Sho called from the door. He acted as if he couldn’t wait to be alone with Aiba. He was leaning on the doorway when I looked at him. He smiled sheepishly as our eyes met.
“I’m coming,” Aiba said to Sho before turning back at me. “I’ll call you later, then?”
“Yeah, whatever,” I said without looking at him and only looked up as I heard the door close. I didn’t miss the hurt look in his eyes before he went to Sho and walked out together. I knew he didn’t deserve my cold attitude as he knew nothing of this matter but I just couldn’t stand his closeness with Sho.
He should’ve known. He was my best friend for as long as we’ve known each other. He should’ve realized the sign I’ve shown, the smile on my face whenever I talked about Sho to him, how I reacted whenever Sho was around. He should’ve known that I’ve been in love with Sho since forever, if he was truly my ‘best’ friend.
I’ve loved Sho long before anyone ever realized that Jun had some crush on him but I managed to hide it perfectly unlike Jun. I’ve been charmed by Sakurai Sho with his traits, just like Jun, although he strongly denied it. When he was already get over his crush and go on with his life, my feeling towards Sho grew stronger each passing days. Everything about him attracted me to him. His face, his voice, his brain and not to mention, his body. I’ve even tried to initiate fan service with him before with Riida. But unlike Riida, I didn’t receive positive response from him. Sadly he’s too dense to have notice anything.
I was very happy when I received an offer to act in a same drama with Sho. That meant I have a lot of time to spend with him, just the two of us without the rest of Arashi. However, the problem started due to the certain happening in the middle of filming our drama. Sho-
“What’s your problem?” a voice suddenly invaded my thoughts. I knew it was Jun’s because it was just us in the room. It annoyed me as he was talking without taking his eyes off the magazine he was reading.
“What do you mean?” I asked back, looking intently at him.
“Nothing,” he said as he stood up and threw the magazine back on the table. “I’m off to shooting now,” he yawned and stretched his body as his walked slowly to the door. “Oh, and Ninomiya,” he called. I looked up to him with annoyance. “You’re being too obvious,” he managed before closing the door. I titled my head trying to get what he was saying before leaning back into the couch.
---
As promised, Aiba did call me that night, but I only realized it in the morning after I turned my phone back ON. Not that I intentionally turned it OFF, but it’s just I didn’t realize that my battery was dead and I forgot to recharge it. I had more than 10 miscalls and text messages from him asking whether I’m alright or not also a few texts from other members as well. We had a photo shoot this morning and I was already 5 minutes late.
When I arrived at the greenroom, Aiba was there sitting on the couch, staring intently at the cellphone in his hand. I presumed that he was waiting for me as he stood abruptly upon seeing me entered the room. I took a glance at him but said nothing as I went to put my stuff down. One could tell that he hadn’t been sleeping since last night judging by the very visible dark line under his eyes even after covering it with make up. I choose to believe that he was out playing with Sho until morning rather than waiting for me to return his call.
“Nino-”
“Where’s the other?” I asked firmly as soon as I heard him.
“They’ve gone first. I said I’m going to wait for you,” he answered despite my tone. “I was worried since you weren’t answering your phone last night. And I’ve tried to reach you this morning and still no answer. Are you ok?”
“Fine,” I answered nonchalantly. I sat on the couch and saw that Aiba was about to sit across from me but stopped in the middle due to my responds.
“Are you mad at me?” he asked suddenly causing me to look at him. His face looked as if he was about to cry anytime soon so I turned my face away from him, stoning my heart to not fall into his trap. He was known to melt anyone’s heart with his tears intentionally or not.
“Why would I be?” I asked back. I still refused to look him in the eyes as I busied myself with anything on the table.
“I- I don’t know. I thought maybe I’ve done something,” he said sadly as he looked down to his feet. He always did that whenever he felt so insecure. I continued to give him my back even though I knew him very well that tears had started to form in his eyes. “I’m very sorry if it’s about yesterday. Sho insisted that-”
“Enough. I’m not mad at you,” I said without even let him finished his last sentence. I’m not interested to hear how he spent his time with Sho yesterday. I slumped down on the couch and closed my eyes. “Now, can you leave me alone? I need to think and I can’t, whenever you’re around.”
“Em, Nino-” Aiba hesitantly and I saw his body jerked a little when I opened my eyes and looked up to him. “They want us there asap,” he continued with a soft voice. I nodded and closed my eyes once again, hinting for him to go there first and I took that he understood upon hearing the door closed.
I sighed heavily as I recalled my attitude toward him and mentally reminding myself to apologize later but as soon as I reached the studio and saw the two acting so lovey dovey in front of the camera, the feeling of guilt in my heart was quickly replaced by major jealousy. I watched on how happy Sho was as he linked fingers with Aiba, smiling and grinning towards the camera, wishing it was me and swiftly turned away as I noticed Aiba was looking at me.
“Where were you?” Jun asked as I took my place between him and Riida. I choose to ignore him and rested my head on Riida’s shoulder. As if I’m going to tell him I’ve spend all night playing games. Jun and Riida had already done with their part and just stick around since both didn’t have any plan.
“Ninomiya-san,” a voice called. I was grateful to whoever called me so that I wouldn’t have to answer. I gave Jun a side look before going in front of the camera, wearing my best smile.
As I went past the two, I smiled back when Sho smiled at me but turned away when Aiba did the same. My behavior, however, didn’t go unnoticed by one person. As soon as I finished my session, he went to me and pulled me with him. “What-” I struggled to free myself but stopped upon seeing Jun’s serious face.
“You’re coming with me.”
---
He pushed me into an empty room and if wasn’t for the fact that he pushed me on the chair and wearing a serious expression on his face, instead of straddling me on the table (which was the only thing available in the room, if not on the floor, to jump someone), I might think that he might be thinking of doing something indecent to me. I didn’t blame him if he did anyway, because I know I was, after all, irresistible. If only Sho thought the same.
“What?” I asked after a few minutes of silence. Jun leaned against the wall and looked intently at me. “What do you want?” I asked again.
“What’s with you and Aiba?”
“I don’t understand what you mean,” I looked away avoiding his gaze.
“The fact that he was looking all gloomy since yesterday,” Jun started “… and this morning when he said he was going to wait for you but you guys ended up showing separately.”
“I just need sometime to get ready so that’s why I ask him to go first,”
“It’s about Sho, isn’t it?” he attacked. I looked up to him with wide eyes, surprised on how daring he could be. Then my mind brought me back to a few days ago.
“Sho, wait up,” I called. He was already on his way out. We had just finished our take on our drama and was about to head for a drink he promised me days ago. He had his stuff and was ready to open the door, stopped and turned towards me. “Let’s go.”
“Ah, sorry, Nino. I can’t today,” Sho clasped his hands together and smiled sheepishly to me. “I’ve promise Masaki to have dinner with him.”
“Oh,” I tried not to sound too disappointed. “Some other time, then.”
“I promise you, tomorrow,” he shouted and waved at me before running hastily to catch the elevator. To my dismay, he forgot our ‘date’ once again the next day and had promised Aiba to watch movie with him. Ok, so maybe Aiba needed his company more than me but a thing he asked me the next day really surprised me.
“Nino,” he called putting down his scrip. We were on location for our drama. I was playing my DS while he tried to memorize his lines one final time. The staffs and other casts were out to lunch leaving the room to ourselves.
“What?” I responded without taking my eyes of my DS.
“Where would you like to go if I take you on a date?” my fingers stopped moving and my ears were all opened wide. Did I just hear what I heard?
“Wh- what?” I asked to make sure it wasn’t only my imagination playing me.
“You heard me, where would you like to go if I was to take you on a date?”
“Well,” I fidgeted on my sit, trying to picture where I would want to go with him. “Anywhere’s fine, I guess. As long as you’re there with me,” I answered earnestly.
“You’re such a sweet talker,” Sho chuckled. “As expected from a Hollywood star.” I smiled widely hearing him saying those; I nearly missed his next words. “I wonder if Masaki think the same,” I heard him saying softly.
“What?” I asked causing him to blush.
“Ah, you hear me,” he pulled his chair closer to me and started whispering. “Don’t tell anyone… but I’m thinking of confessing.”
“To whom?”
“Masaki, of course. Who else?” I felt as if being struck by a lightning hearing that name. It was Aiba after all. Silly me, thinking that finally Sho realized how I felt for him. I ended up avoiding him for the rest of the day.
A tapping sound took me back to the present. Jun knocked the table to bring me back to my senses. “Is it?”
“What? No,” I tried to deny when I knew the fact that he knew. I looked everywhere but him.
“Cut the crap. We both know what’s going on here.”
“None of your business,” I said back as I knew it would be useless to try to deny when he already knew. “Leave me alone.”
“I hate to see you treating Aiba-chan like that,” Jun’s face softened a little upon saying Aiba’s name. Could it be possible that Jun had changed his target form Sho to Aiba? What do they saw in him anyway? That stupid, good for nothing boy. Again I remind you, I do not hate Aiba-chan. It’s complicated.
“I see,” I said quietly as I looked up to him. So, I was right as he started to look like he just told me the biggest secret of all time. “It wasn’t just about me and Sho after all.”
“What do you mean?” Jun raised his eyebrows acting as if he didn’t understand what I was trying to say.
“You know exactly what I mean. I don’t need you to tell me what to do when you’re the one to talk,” I said before slamming the door shut. I turned to walk away but stopped abruptly as I saw someone standing in front of me. Judging by how he smiled at me, I was positive that he was oblivious to the conversation in the room just now. But I can never be so sure, so I asked anyway, “Aiba, how long have you been standing here?”
“Ah, I just got here. I didn’t know you’re inside, Nino,” Aiba said cheerfully making me more sure that he heard nothing. “I should get going. I’m late for Shimura Doubutsen,” he continued before walking away towards the elevator. “See you later.”
Jun choose the moment to step outside. “Is that Aiba? Does he hear anything?”
“I don’t think so… and I want it to stay that way,” I said looking at Jun as if daring him to mention anything to Aiba.
“Whatever. It’s your lost,” Jun managed before turning to the opposite way.
---
A few days went by slowly before and I noticed something different. Aiba was no longer sitting near Sho and Sho seemed to have notice it. He would glance to Aiba constantly while doing his work. And when he asked why, Aiba just said that he wouldn’t want to disturb his work. Not like he’d ever cared before.
I also heard from Jun that whenever Sho had called for Aiba off work; the lad would always gave excuses not to go or would agree to meet but not turning up when the time came. My ego prevented me from believing that Aiba was avoiding Sho for an obvious reason, instead I took as he had found himself something more interesting than Sho. Riida seemed oblivious to the matter since Aiba would act as his normal cheerful self whenever the three of us in the room while Jun chose to let me be as I told him to.
“Masaki, please,” I heard Sho one day. Riida and Jun had already went home and next work, respectively while I’m stuck with the other two waiting for someone to take me home since I’m too tired to take a train home.
“I’m sorry, Sho-chan, but I can’t,” Aiba pushed Sho’s hand back to his owner. “I’ve promised to help Matsujun with something later. You should ask someone else. Maybe Nino is available tonight.”
I looked up from my DS to both of them upon hearing my name being mention. I stood and went to them as Aiba signaled me to do so and saw two tickets in Sho’s hand. Sho reluctantly looked at me and something in his eyes told me to tell Aiba that I’m not free but I wasn’t about to lose my chance here. “I don’t have anything after this,” I said causing Sho’s face to fall.
“Great, it’s settled then,” Aiba clasped his hands together and pushed me closer to Sho. “You guys should get going now or you’ll be late.”
“Masaki, I-” Sho called but I was fast to pull him with me.
“Come on,” I managed to get our stuff on our way to the door. Sho’s steps were slow and heavy as we went to the elevator.
“Have fun,” we heard Aiba’s somewhat cheerful voice as the elevator close but I didn’t fail to saw him looking down in sadness just before the elevator’s doors closed.
“So, where are we going, Sho?” I asked him as I linked my hand with him and rest my head on his shoulder. I felt his body stiffened but I continued to maintain our body contact as long as possible.
---
The next day I went early to work (I couldn’t sleep as I was so happy with my so-called date with Sho yesterday) and accidently saw Sho cornering Aiba, backing him against the wall. The two of them always turned up early in the morning which was normal for a very diligent-Sho and currently-busy-Aiba.
“Masaki, why are you doing this?” I heard Sho. I knew it was wrong to eavesdrop but this is Sho we’re talking about and I felt the need to listen.
“I don’t understand what you’re saying,” Aiba’s voice was all trembling so I decided to take a peek. Their faces were now dangerously close to each other.
“Why won’t you answer my call outside anymore? Why won’t you talk to me anymore? And most importantly, why am I feeling that you’re practically pushing me to Nino?” My heart ached a little hearing those words. Sho was saying it as if being pushed to me was a bad thing. “Tell me if I do something wrong because I’m out of reasons here.”
“It’s nothing,” Aiba said with a calm voice but 10 years were enough to tell me that he was trembling inside.
“So, why?”
“I’m busy. I do have something else to do besides Arashi, you know. It’s not like I’m free all the time.”
“That’s not what I mean and you know it,” Sho’s voice softened a little.
“Everyone’s going to be here soon,” Aiba tried to push Sho but Sho was fast to grip his wrist.
“I won’t let you leave until you tell me what’s wrong,” Sho said determinedly. “You know how I feel for you.” I found myself hurting upon hearing these. So he already told Aiba “but you didn’t even bother to answer. Am I that not important for you.”
“Sho-chan, please, don’t do this to me.”
“At least, tell me,” Sho pleaded. “Give me something.”
“I-” I listened quietly as I was also interested about it. “I’m sorry.” Hearing Aiba, I let go of my breath which I didn’t realize I was holding.
“Masaki,” Sho called weakly. “Are you-”
“I’m sorry, Sakurai-san.”
“Fine,” Sho let go of Aiba’s hand and went to the door. “I won’t bother you anymore, Aiba-san.” I managed to hide myself as Sho went passed me. I stayed in my position for a little while before hearing a soft sob coming from the room.
The Sakuraiba pair seemed to have cut their lovey dovey act after that, as if they finally realized that would make someone puke (or in my case, jealous). Sho would silently do his work on the table at the corner while Aiba would casually disturbed Riida or Jun for some entertainment at the other corner of the room.
I didn’t fail to notice that both would steal glances to each other separately whenever they thought no one was looking. This continued to the point where Sho had stopped calling for Aiba and words exchange between the two reduced drastically. And for once, I felt genuinely guity.
---
Sho was in the room doing his work, when I arrived that morning. Looking at the stuff in the room, I can tell that Aiba had also arrived but he was no where to be seen.
“Morning, Sho,” I greeted Sho as I took my place beside him. Even with Aiba out of the way, Sho seemed to be as hard as ever to be approached. He seemed to have distanced himself from everyone in the group. He would refuse every time someone asked him out or simply out for a drink. He gave ZERO as an excuse but I knew the truth behind his behavior.
I knew deep inside I had already given up on him but jealousy seemed to have taken over me. I only realized that when I felt I wasn’t badly hurt whenever he let me down. I refused to let anyone have Sho if I can’t have him. “Are you alone?” I asked as he turned to reply.
“Yeah, since I got here this morning.” I can see him glancing over to the backpack lying beside the door which giving a sign that Aiba was already in the building.
“I wonder where Aiba’d gone,” I said to look at his reaction.
“Me too,” he responded without taking his eyes off his notebook. He was focusing too much on the article. But I knew something was off. I stood up and went to the door.
“I’m going to pee, don’t wait up,” I said as I stepped outside. “Sho,” I called one last time.
“Um?”
“You’re typing the same sentence for the fourth time now.” I watched him through the door. He went through his article but decided not continue as he closed his notebook and leaned back, sighing heavily.
---
I walked aimlessly around the building as I knew there was much time before recording. As I went past the end of the corridor, I heard sobbing coming from the stairs. I climbed up to the roof and quietly pushed open the door. The sunlight blinded me and at the same time the sobbing sound grew louder. I managed to recognize the sobbing as I practically have heard it all my life. I walked to the origin of the sound to the corner of the rooftop and found a person crouching with face buried between his knees behind the huge water tank.
“Aiba?”
“Ah, Nino.” He stood up and wiped the tears off his face. “Sorry I don’t hear you come.”
“Why are you crying?” I asked even though I’m completely aware of the reason.
“I’m not crying. Something got inside my eyes,” he chuckled, or at least tried to.
I sighed as I took my place beside him and mentioning him to sit back down. We sat there in silence for a few minutes before I decided to question him. “It’s about Sho isn’t it?”
“Eh?” he seemed to miss my words as he was too occupied with his thoughts. I sighed before repeating myself and saw his eyes widened. He must have thought I was oblivious to his doing. “You don’t have to deny it. I know that you’ve heard us outside the door that time.”
“I’m sorry, Nino. I swear not to go near Sho next time,” he started blabbering nonsense with his growing sob. It was kind of annoying if you don’t know him well. Lucky him I knew him since forever. He hastily wiped the tears off his face while continuing, “I’ll tell him to stay away from me and go to-”
“Are you an idiot?” I cut him short. He raised his eyebrows causing me to repeat myself, again.
“I- sorry,” instead of answering me or denying it, he apologized. Could it be that he really thought himself as an idiot?
“Do you love Sho?”
“What?”
“I said, do you love Sho?” I rolled my eyes and sighed. “Do I have to repeat myself twice every time?”
“Sorry.”
“Quit saying sorry to everything.”
“Sor- I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.”
“Say ‘I love you’.”
“To you?”
“No, you idiot. To Sho.”
“Oh. Eh, but what about you?”
“I don’t love you!” I snapped. “Not like that.”
“No, no. I mean, what about you and Sho?” Aiba said but quickly covered his mouth upon seeing my eyes widened.
“So, you really did all that for me.”
“I- I-” Aiba looked down to his feet. He played with his fingers the habit I realized he had whenever he felt anxious or nervous about something.
“Besides, I have someone else now, so you can have him.”
“Really?” he looked up to me and for the first time since a few days of despair his eyes brightened up with curiosity with his cheery voice. “Who is it?”
“Do I have to report back everything to you?” I intentionally snapped causing him to look back down.
“No, sor-” Aiba looked up hesitating whether to say it or not.
“Just say it,” I sighed. It was his trait, after all, to apologize for everything. “You’ll never stop saying that word anyway.”
“Sorry, Nino.” Aiba said timidly. “Are we friends again?”
“I didn’t remember breaking off my friendship with you,” I said as I swung my hand on his shoulder. “Now, go to him.”
“I- I can’t,” Aiba said sadly. “He hates me. I’ve cause him to hate me.”
“He can’t hate you,” I pushed him to the door. “Trust me. No one can.” Or someone might’ve found your body floating in the ocean right now, I continued mentally.
“But-” he turned to look at me sadly.
“No buts.”
“Thank you, Nino,” he pulled me into a hug. “you know what? Even you don’t love me, I still love you,” he said before running down the stairs.
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” To my surprise, instead of feeling heartache, I felt relief. I was right after all about my jealousy towards those two. It was long since I’ve got over Sho. It was just my jealousy that had been holding me back. I wouldn’t mind the two getting together. After all, idiots do belong together.
“Ehem,” I turned to the exit and saw Jun smiling back at me.
---
“You know,” Jun started as we peeked inside our greenroom that was currently occupied by Sho and Aiba and watched the two from outside. Aiba was trying to get Sho attention while the other tried his best to ignore him. Sakurai and his ego, I know because I felt that most of the time. “I’ve already told Aiba how I feel,” Jun continued.
“Rejected?” I asked while still looking at the couple. Aiba was now looking sad and was about to give up when he suddenly being turned around and pulled into a kiss. “Whoa-” our eyes widened to the view.
“So, he CAN do that,” Jun smirked, talking about Sho. Aiba was still stiff from the kiss when Sho pulled away from him and grin. He was still in daze when Sho once again claimed his lips. We watched as the two enjoyed each other’s touches before Jun pulled me away as the couple became too intimate. “Nah, he accepted it and we’ve already gone on a date a couple of times,” Jun continued.
“What? Oh, then, why?” I refused to move from our spot and we decided to continue observing those two in the room. Well, I did while Jun decided to just keep talking to me.
“That idiot could stop talking about Sho. Sho this, Sho that. That really got me angry. How could he mention someone else’s name when going on a date with me? ME, the great one.”
“Yeah, sure. So you decided to let him go?”
“Well, I practically push him to Sho,” Jun grinned. “Sorry.”
“Wait, what? Why?” Jun was getting my full attention now. How could he push Aiba to Sho? When he already had his chance and maybe mine will come one day if only he would keep Aiba with him. This stupid, good for nothing DoS.
“Don’t you see how those two look at each other every time? Smiling and grinning like idiots.”
“I can see your point,” I nodded agreeing with him.
“He was all to confess, but then, he learns about you. That you hated him for being with Sho,” Jun turned his face to the couple who was now sitting side by side on the couch, leaning to each other, whispering and giggling about something only they knew. “He overheard us that time.”
“Knew it.”
“So, I told him if he didn’t do anything, I’ll make his life a living hell. Well, I gave him two choices though,” he smirked. “Either to deal with your temper or face my rage.”
“Whoa,” I said looking at Jun in disbelieve. “So that’s why he’s crying like crazy when I found him. Wait,” I suddenly remembered his words for me. “Why are you asking me to tell Sho how I feel when you’ve already told Aiba to do the same?”
“I just thought it would be more fun this way. But you’re too proud to confess.”
“Evil DoS,” I squinted my eyes to stress my point.
“Well now that they’re together, it’s all worth it,” Jun smiled in satisfaction. “And don’t worry, Kazu. You can have me,” he said as he swung his hand around my shoulder.
“I’ll pass,” I said simply as I tried to free myself from him.
-End-
----
i failed and technology hates me...
my handphone being a bitch just as the same time my internet connection got cut...
and i have about 3 stories to finish but ended up doing this one...huhu...
forgive me... i promise to finish all during this holiday...
hope u enjoy this one though...it's the first time i try to do this kind of point of view..
<3 fara