Ficlet: the Very Secret Diary of Edith the Bloody
Title: The Very Secret Diary of Edith the Bloody
Rating: PG
A/N: written for fantas_magoria for Becoming part II. I feel I should apologise for writing a funny about this amazing episode, but I wanted a little Spike and Dru to round off the season, and just look at what happened…
29 September 1997
Just because I often wear a blindfold, doesn’t mean I don’t know what’s happening. And when I’m allowed to look, I see more than most.
I’m not sure I like this America place. Rather garish and vulgar. And our new home is very rough and unladylike. A little like Daddy. We’re not entirely sure what Mummy sees in him. Secretly, of course. But Mummy’s too ill to leave him now; and Daddy cares for her so nicely.
25 November 1997
Poor Daddy is ill. Mummy isn’t being very nice to him. Mummy isn’t sick any more. She’s happy and dark and eating lots. She combs my hair every day. I love Mummy.
19 January 1998
There’s to be a lovely party tonight. Daddy has been buying extra-special presents so that Mummy will smile even though he’s in his boring old rolling chair.
20 January 1998
I’m very confused. Why do I have two Daddies now?
24 February 1998
Nasty man! Bad nasty man! You burned our home and made my Mummy cry. I’m horridly singed and smoke-smelly and some of my sisters are all gone.
28 April 1998
Our new home is much nicer. Much more becoming to a lady. Even Daddy likes it, likes to stretch his legs in the garden. Till silly Daddy Two comes home and then Daddy pretends he still needs his rolling chair.
17 May 1998
Mummy’s very excited. Daddy Two is even more excited. He keeps talking. Loud and bossy. I don’t like it. Nor do I like the big stone he brought home today. It whispers of terrible things. Daddy’s very cross.
18 May 1998
I don’t want to go to hell.
19 May 1998
Nasty man is back. But this time we have the power.
Take that, nasty man. Bleed for us.
20 May 1998
What’s that noise? I can’t see! Something has gone terribly wrong with the plan. I could hear Mummy screaming. But then she went quiet. Now I’m… moving?
21 May 1998
I’m in the car. It’s very bright here. Thank goodness I don’t burn in the sun. Mummy and Daddy are arguing a lot. But I’m glad they remembered to bring me.
I hope we go somewhere much nicer for our next holidays.
*
Rating: PG
A/N: written for fantas_magoria for Becoming part II. I feel I should apologise for writing a funny about this amazing episode, but I wanted a little Spike and Dru to round off the season, and just look at what happened…
29 September 1997
Just because I often wear a blindfold, doesn’t mean I don’t know what’s happening. And when I’m allowed to look, I see more than most.
I’m not sure I like this America place. Rather garish and vulgar. And our new home is very rough and unladylike. A little like Daddy. We’re not entirely sure what Mummy sees in him. Secretly, of course. But Mummy’s too ill to leave him now; and Daddy cares for her so nicely.
25 November 1997
Poor Daddy is ill. Mummy isn’t being very nice to him. Mummy isn’t sick any more. She’s happy and dark and eating lots. She combs my hair every day. I love Mummy.
19 January 1998
There’s to be a lovely party tonight. Daddy has been buying extra-special presents so that Mummy will smile even though he’s in his boring old rolling chair.
20 January 1998
I’m very confused. Why do I have two Daddies now?
24 February 1998
Nasty man! Bad nasty man! You burned our home and made my Mummy cry. I’m horridly singed and smoke-smelly and some of my sisters are all gone.
28 April 1998
Our new home is much nicer. Much more becoming to a lady. Even Daddy likes it, likes to stretch his legs in the garden. Till silly Daddy Two comes home and then Daddy pretends he still needs his rolling chair.
17 May 1998
Mummy’s very excited. Daddy Two is even more excited. He keeps talking. Loud and bossy. I don’t like it. Nor do I like the big stone he brought home today. It whispers of terrible things. Daddy’s very cross.
18 May 1998
I don’t want to go to hell.
19 May 1998
Nasty man is back. But this time we have the power.
Take that, nasty man. Bleed for us.
20 May 1998
What’s that noise? I can’t see! Something has gone terribly wrong with the plan. I could hear Mummy screaming. But then she went quiet. Now I’m… moving?
21 May 1998
I’m in the car. It’s very bright here. Thank goodness I don’t burn in the sun. Mummy and Daddy are arguing a lot. But I’m glad they remembered to bring me.
I hope we go somewhere much nicer for our next holidays.
*