Crack!Ships

[jesatria]

We had a thread for ASoIaF ships in general, but I think we could use one just for crack!ships. To begin with, we have:

Oberyn/Cersei- probably my favorite crack pairing. He hates her & would probably kill her. I think I may actually write crackfic w/ this pairing...
Oberyn/Willas- I have to admit I'm curious as to why Willas isn't married. Perhaps

Comments

[summersdream]

Are crackfics ones of just pure random insanity? Because... I could see some very insane pairings. Freakishly enough I could see Jon/Melisandre, and that scares me.

Oberyn/Cersei for the crazy! I could see a night of great passion and homocide in the morning...

Dany/Sansa- tell me that would not be THE Royal couple to beat. Add Tyrion for the foundation of a friggin dynasty...

Elia/Barriston. Courtly love is more fun (Arthur Dayne works in this role too)

Lyanna/Brandyn/Ned. Give Jon's parentage some REAL scandal...

Gregor/The Rat King. Theirs is horrific love.

Stoneheart/Beric. Zombie love. Oh my god I think it just spawned an undead plotbunny... *hides*

Arya/Sarella. They'd be dangerous.

Heh. This is fun.

[jesatria]

This weird part of me likes Sarella/Sam. Don't even ask where that came from.

Lyanna/Brandon/Ned- YAY! Starkcest! Lyanna is Jon's mom, but who is Jon's dad? She doesn't know, cause they had a threesome.

Stoneheart/UnGregor- Now THAT is a crack!ship

I now have a plotbunny for Oberyn/Cersei. His mother forces him to marry her & he's pissed cause he hates her. He wouldn't sleep with her & would just ignore her until she tries to kill one of the Sand Snakes.

Elia/Arthur Dayne is amazing! Hey, they're both Dornish...

[adrienneherbst]

Oh, man, Oberyn/Cersei would be a bickering romantic comedy; they'd be so bitchy and Shakespearean. Kiss me, Cersei!

[sparrow_wings]

Ned/Cersei! I'm not the only one!

Jaime/Dayne -- I reiterate, Jaime totally has a crush.

Elia/Tyrion -- I don't know where this came from at all, but I think it would work! If, you know, Elia hadn't died a horrible death before Tyrion hit puberty.

Oberyn/Dayne -- Dayne's Dornish. He can't have been a celibate prig all his life.

Asha/Theon -- I can't be the only one who decided Asha was TOTALLY AWESOME OMG on the basis of her performance as Esgred.

Jon/Qhorin Halfhand -- Whaaaat? I bet it gets really cold that far north.

Night's King/his corpse bride -- Well, yeah, they're canon, but. They're eerily fascinating, don't you think?

[redcandle17]

I forgot to add Jaime/Arthur Dayne to my own list! I agree that Jaime was totally crushing on him.

I didn't even think to add Asha/Theon because it's one of my primary ships. It's not crack, it's not! It's canon, damnit! :D

[sparrow_wings]

A really long-lasting crush.

[adrienneherbst]

Jaime/Dayne: DUDE YES.

[redcandle17]

I thought I was the only one who wished for some Melisande/Jon! Jon's too damn pure and good, he needs something sordid to sully him. Who knows, maybe Melisande is the fire to his ice and not Dany. I can hope, can't I?

Arya/Jon
Cersei/Gregor
Oberyn/Willas
Willas/Sarella
Willas/Arianne
Loras/Renly/Margaery - I'm convinced this actually happened.
Loras/Margaery
Dany/keeping all her suitors and forming a harem. It's good to be queen.
Sansa/Robert Arryn - Sansa would so totally be able to control him and be free to have an affair with Sandor.
Jaime/everyone - Jaime/Brienne and Jaime/Loras are my Jaime ships, but he has chemistry with every character he interacts with. Hell, I'd read Jaime/Maester Qyburn.

I don't ship Sandor with anyone except Sansa, but some sweaty post-training Sandor/Jaime sex would be fun to read.

I will admit that if Catelyn/Jon pr0n existed, I would read it. There's so many wonderful levels of badwrongdirty about the very idea.

[lilin]

I was gonna vote for Loras/Jaime myself. Someone over on the westeros.org forums actually made a really good case for this pairing.

[jesatria]

Dany/keeping all her suitors and forming a harem. It's good to be queen.

That makes my heart sing. And I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees Oberyn/Willas.

[matitablu]

Dany/keeping all her suitors and forming a harem. It's good to be queen.

You know, I was reading this thread and meanwhile I was thinking "heck, I *can't* think of a real crackship of my own". But I totally second this one! Heck, if I were Dany, I would totally go this way XDDDD

And the Loras/Renly/Margaery? Well, that's not so crack, IMO. *whistles*

[hoarmurath]

Loras/Jaime for the win.

And well - any kind of slash pairing, yes, even the really, really wrong ones.

And Oberyn with anyone.

And Darkstar is kinda hot.

*meep*

[redcandle17]

And well - any kind of slash pairing, yes, even the really, really wrong ones.

Ohhh reaalllllyy? Gregor/Sandor? Aerys/Jaime? Littlefinger/all three Kettleblacks(Cersei's second purse can't compete with his littlefinger!)? :D

[adrienneherbst]

Eee! :D

[jesatria]

Meanwhile, I am in need of Jaime slash pairings. I really think that Jaime is going to prove bisexual, but haven't seen anybody that I'm invested in sticking him with yet. I think he and Loras have canonical chemistry, but anything between them would be pretty unhealthy (knowing this, Martin is going to have them as the first POV m/m hookup in ADWD.) Also, I totally agree that Jaime had the biggest crush ever on Arthur Dayne (and the BLACKFISH, omg). Actually, Jaime having an over-the-hill, DADT affair with the Blackfish would really make me happy.

Oh, I could definately see Jaime experimenting in the next book, now that he's ditched the bitch. And he totally had a man crush on Arthur Dayne.

GRRM really needs to include a man/man sex scene in the series. It's not enough to simply have canon gay men. We never see any of them doing it! And so I'm holding out hope that Jaime will decide to do a bit of "exploring" in future books.

[matitablu]

Cersei/Littlefinger-- this pairing is worth its weight in bad puns.

Mwahahah! Yeah, I think I'll jump on this ship, too XD

[redcandle17]

Robert/Ned-- Why, oh why am I such a sucker for this?

Because Ned gushes about how Robert looked like "a maiden's fantasy" and waxes lyrical about the big bulging muscles Robert used to have - and he never once thinks about the way his wife looks, though we've heard from other men that she's quite the looker.

Stannis/Davos-- Does this belong here? I'm convinced it's actual subtext, although I waffle over which Baratheon brother I want to pair with their honorable, brown-haired vassal/sidekick as my actual reading of canon. It can't be Robert AND Stannis AND Renly, right?

It can and it is!