(Sighed) I Love You, Hyung... (2/2)
Chapter: 2
Pairing : Kyuhyun/Sungmin
POV: Kyuhyun
During the winter, Sungmin hyung's condition was up and down, causing exactly the same effect on my feelings. Sometimes he was fit and we spent our day going for a walk arm in arm around the park, sometimes beach, or around the city. It made me extremely happy. But there were times when he got sick, just lying weakly on his bed with me holding his hand beside him. And it made me extremely worried.
Tomorrow was my birthday, but I didn't hope too much. Sungmin hyung's condition wasn't good at all. He kept coughing, his body heat was high, and his blood pressure went down.
"I am sorry, Kyu. Really, I am sorry," he kept apologizing. I wanted to reassure him and insist that it wasn't his fault for being sick, but somehow I couldn't. No words came out when he cried begging for apologize. I even also cried. It was because I was also hurt. Seeing him suffering made me dying.
I know I should comfort and support him, but being a kid, I always had these thoughts. What did I do to deserve this pain? Why didn't I love someone healthy and loves me back?
---
On my birthday, I didn't visit Sungmin hyung. He probably didn't care whether I came or not since I wasn't any useful there. His mother took all care of him. What I could do was only accompanying or talking or singing sometimes to him. So here I was, sitting with my parents in the dining room, having the cake they bought me while they were having lunch at supposedly dinner time.
"Kyu, your dad is promoted so we're moving to China soon. Here, check these fliers out and choose the school you like."
I dropped my jaw. I couldn't believe what my mother just said. How could I move? I really liked this town. I had Sungmin hyung here. How could I leave him?
Thinking of Sungmin hyung, suddenly I considered to just fading my feeling away. Maybe it would be better if I just forget him? Sungmin hyung wouldn't return my love anyway. Yeah. I better just left.
I then chose to go to a school which majored in music in China.
---
I found it hard to live three days wthout contacting Sungmin hyung at all. So I decided to finally come on February 5. I also needed to tell him that I'd be leaving.
"Kyu? Are you mad at me?" When I entered his family room, heading to his room, I found him sitting on his piano again, but he wasn't playing. He looked at me with hurtful eyes. I could see that he fought back his tears. My heart beat faster. The sight really tore my heart right now because I knew what I would inform him later would hurt him more.
"That day I was a bit upset, but now I am not." I told him just what came to my mind since I didn't know how to explain my feeling.
"Really?" He smiled in relief. He turned his face back to the piano, preparing himself to play.
"Yeah. So how are you today, Hyung? Got better?"
Sungmin didn't answer. Instead, he played a song as gently as usual but somehow felt more emotional.
"Hyung..." I started uneasy. I had to tell him. But words I prepared before didn't come out. "Hyung, I..I-I'm... I'm.. I'm leaving, Hyung."
"I know." Sungmin hyung nodded. "For China, am I right?"
I blinked. "How do you know?"
"Your mother told my mother and my mother told me." I kept silent. I hated his bitter tone. "You're not the only one leaving. I might as well leaving, for heaven, or maybe for hell."
"It's not funny. Sungmin hyung, you're not going to die." I said in warning tone. I hated it if he was giving up on his own life. He nodded in understanding. We sat in comfortable silence until he broke it.
"I never talk long before but I have things to tell you. Mind to listen?" He asked, not turning his gaze off the piano.
"Just say it." I said. He then took a deep breath.
"I have had this weak body since I was born. I often got sick, anytime when my antibody system weakened and anytime my blood pressure went down, I fainted. At that time, my parents were very caring. I struggled to keep my body fit so they didn't have to worry me. I did light sports, ate healthy food, and others." He said it with a slight smile, remembering his past, fingers still dancing beautifully on the keyboard.
"Until age four, I got stronger. I did martial arts, I started playing music. My parents seemed happy, so they started to work harder to earn more money. Harder and harder until they forgot me. I always spent my days at home all alone, learning how to play piano and guitar taught by my neighbour hyung. When the winter came, I fell sick. I loved it when they started to care about me again. But as the winter left, I got better and my parents got back to work. The next winter came and I fainted again. Then I got the point. I'd always be sick every winter due to the coldness."
I listened to every words of him. I couldn't imagine how was life Sungmin hyung had been through all this time. It was extremely boring and lonely while kids out there including myself were having fun with their friends and their family.
"I'd always wish winter to come. Other people may wish to see the snow, or the holiday, or anything, but I wish to be sick. Weird, isn't it? Well, it wasn't really nice to bear the headache and tire I'd always feel, but I was already used to it and at least I got my parents' attention on me." He looked up at me for a while, but turning back to the piano again. "Then we moved to this place and I met you. You were my second friend, the other was the neighbour I mentioned earlier. I really liked you. I liked your voice, your personality, everything. And for the first time, some weeks ago, I wished that winter would never come. But it did, and I have to skip the Christmas, the New Year eve, your birthday, and maybe even the Valentine's Day."
His fingers were shivering as a drop of tears escaped his eyes. "And you're leaving. You didn't tell me earlier. I thought you were mad at me. I thought you were tired befriending with someone like me. I thought you hated me. I thought you didn't like me like I did. I tho..." I couldn't take it anymore. I hugged him frustatedly. How could I hate you, Hyung? I loved you too much! Then I realized that his body heat was very high. I felt him weakened. I rested his head on my shoulder for a while, letting his tears made my top shirt wet. I heard his soft breathing which meant he was asleep. Carefully, I carried him to his bed under his pink blanket. Then I sat by his side.
I really liked you. I liked your voice, your personality, everything.
He liked me as a friend, I thought. I felt heartbroken. Maybe leaving was really a good decision then, so I could fade this feeling away. I looked at Sungmin hyung once more. Dearly, I moved the tiny hair that blocked his beautiful face. I sighed. "I love you, hyung..." I ended up confessing quietly this way. "I love you." I repeated it again. Slowly I kissed his forehead, down to his nose, then ended on his lips. "I am sorry."
I didn't know how long I slept beside him. For what I knew, I had a very nice dream, involving me and Sungmin hyung were all healthy, happy, and the most important one, being together. It really was my dream.
---
It was February 10, the day when I was leaving Seoul. Sungmin hyung was feeling well today. I was very grateful for this because he made it to see me for the last time in the airport.
"Don't you dare trying to forget my presence. You're my friend." Sungmin hyung emphasized.
I laughed, a bit bitterly. He wouldn't know that his words stung some spots in my heart. I had always wanted to be more than friend, Hyung...
"Of course. You're also my friend."
"I have my last wish for you, Kyu. I hope you'll make it."
"Just tell me, Hyung."
Sungmin hyung unexpectedly came forward and hugged me tightly. "You'll still practise your singing."
I laughed. "Of course. I even entered a music school there. Then my last wish is for you to do the same. Keep practise singing and playing piano and playing guitar so that when we meet again we're able to harmonize together again."
He nodded cutely. "I'd miss you much."
I stared deeply at him. I wanted to satisfy my eyes to look at him because I couldn't see him anymore for a long time. I wanted to remember each detail on his cute face.
I sighed. "Well I love you, Hyung." I confessed to him quickly and low. He probably didn't even hear that I'm talking because the airport was too noisy. It was my time to go. I bid him goodbye and walked to the boarding room with my parents.
Goodbye, Lee Sungmin...
-End-
A/N: It was planned to be a long chaptered fic but somehow I cancelled it. I decided to make it angsty that way. But I'm going to make a happy ending sequel for those who aren't satisfied. Thanks for reading. Comments pretty please?
Pairing : Kyuhyun/Sungmin
POV: Kyuhyun
During the winter, Sungmin hyung's condition was up and down, causing exactly the same effect on my feelings. Sometimes he was fit and we spent our day going for a walk arm in arm around the park, sometimes beach, or around the city. It made me extremely happy. But there were times when he got sick, just lying weakly on his bed with me holding his hand beside him. And it made me extremely worried.
Tomorrow was my birthday, but I didn't hope too much. Sungmin hyung's condition wasn't good at all. He kept coughing, his body heat was high, and his blood pressure went down.
"I am sorry, Kyu. Really, I am sorry," he kept apologizing. I wanted to reassure him and insist that it wasn't his fault for being sick, but somehow I couldn't. No words came out when he cried begging for apologize. I even also cried. It was because I was also hurt. Seeing him suffering made me dying.
I know I should comfort and support him, but being a kid, I always had these thoughts. What did I do to deserve this pain? Why didn't I love someone healthy and loves me back?
---
On my birthday, I didn't visit Sungmin hyung. He probably didn't care whether I came or not since I wasn't any useful there. His mother took all care of him. What I could do was only accompanying or talking or singing sometimes to him. So here I was, sitting with my parents in the dining room, having the cake they bought me while they were having lunch at supposedly dinner time.
"Kyu, your dad is promoted so we're moving to China soon. Here, check these fliers out and choose the school you like."
I dropped my jaw. I couldn't believe what my mother just said. How could I move? I really liked this town. I had Sungmin hyung here. How could I leave him?
Thinking of Sungmin hyung, suddenly I considered to just fading my feeling away. Maybe it would be better if I just forget him? Sungmin hyung wouldn't return my love anyway. Yeah. I better just left.
I then chose to go to a school which majored in music in China.
---
I found it hard to live three days wthout contacting Sungmin hyung at all. So I decided to finally come on February 5. I also needed to tell him that I'd be leaving.
"Kyu? Are you mad at me?" When I entered his family room, heading to his room, I found him sitting on his piano again, but he wasn't playing. He looked at me with hurtful eyes. I could see that he fought back his tears. My heart beat faster. The sight really tore my heart right now because I knew what I would inform him later would hurt him more.
"That day I was a bit upset, but now I am not." I told him just what came to my mind since I didn't know how to explain my feeling.
"Really?" He smiled in relief. He turned his face back to the piano, preparing himself to play.
"Yeah. So how are you today, Hyung? Got better?"
Sungmin didn't answer. Instead, he played a song as gently as usual but somehow felt more emotional.
"Hyung..." I started uneasy. I had to tell him. But words I prepared before didn't come out. "Hyung, I..I-I'm... I'm.. I'm leaving, Hyung."
"I know." Sungmin hyung nodded. "For China, am I right?"
I blinked. "How do you know?"
"Your mother told my mother and my mother told me." I kept silent. I hated his bitter tone. "You're not the only one leaving. I might as well leaving, for heaven, or maybe for hell."
"It's not funny. Sungmin hyung, you're not going to die." I said in warning tone. I hated it if he was giving up on his own life. He nodded in understanding. We sat in comfortable silence until he broke it.
"I never talk long before but I have things to tell you. Mind to listen?" He asked, not turning his gaze off the piano.
"Just say it." I said. He then took a deep breath.
"I have had this weak body since I was born. I often got sick, anytime when my antibody system weakened and anytime my blood pressure went down, I fainted. At that time, my parents were very caring. I struggled to keep my body fit so they didn't have to worry me. I did light sports, ate healthy food, and others." He said it with a slight smile, remembering his past, fingers still dancing beautifully on the keyboard.
"Until age four, I got stronger. I did martial arts, I started playing music. My parents seemed happy, so they started to work harder to earn more money. Harder and harder until they forgot me. I always spent my days at home all alone, learning how to play piano and guitar taught by my neighbour hyung. When the winter came, I fell sick. I loved it when they started to care about me again. But as the winter left, I got better and my parents got back to work. The next winter came and I fainted again. Then I got the point. I'd always be sick every winter due to the coldness."
I listened to every words of him. I couldn't imagine how was life Sungmin hyung had been through all this time. It was extremely boring and lonely while kids out there including myself were having fun with their friends and their family.
"I'd always wish winter to come. Other people may wish to see the snow, or the holiday, or anything, but I wish to be sick. Weird, isn't it? Well, it wasn't really nice to bear the headache and tire I'd always feel, but I was already used to it and at least I got my parents' attention on me." He looked up at me for a while, but turning back to the piano again. "Then we moved to this place and I met you. You were my second friend, the other was the neighbour I mentioned earlier. I really liked you. I liked your voice, your personality, everything. And for the first time, some weeks ago, I wished that winter would never come. But it did, and I have to skip the Christmas, the New Year eve, your birthday, and maybe even the Valentine's Day."
His fingers were shivering as a drop of tears escaped his eyes. "And you're leaving. You didn't tell me earlier. I thought you were mad at me. I thought you were tired befriending with someone like me. I thought you hated me. I thought you didn't like me like I did. I tho..." I couldn't take it anymore. I hugged him frustatedly. How could I hate you, Hyung? I loved you too much! Then I realized that his body heat was very high. I felt him weakened. I rested his head on my shoulder for a while, letting his tears made my top shirt wet. I heard his soft breathing which meant he was asleep. Carefully, I carried him to his bed under his pink blanket. Then I sat by his side.
I really liked you. I liked your voice, your personality, everything.
He liked me as a friend, I thought. I felt heartbroken. Maybe leaving was really a good decision then, so I could fade this feeling away. I looked at Sungmin hyung once more. Dearly, I moved the tiny hair that blocked his beautiful face. I sighed. "I love you, hyung..." I ended up confessing quietly this way. "I love you." I repeated it again. Slowly I kissed his forehead, down to his nose, then ended on his lips. "I am sorry."
I didn't know how long I slept beside him. For what I knew, I had a very nice dream, involving me and Sungmin hyung were all healthy, happy, and the most important one, being together. It really was my dream.
---
It was February 10, the day when I was leaving Seoul. Sungmin hyung was feeling well today. I was very grateful for this because he made it to see me for the last time in the airport.
"Don't you dare trying to forget my presence. You're my friend." Sungmin hyung emphasized.
I laughed, a bit bitterly. He wouldn't know that his words stung some spots in my heart. I had always wanted to be more than friend, Hyung...
"Of course. You're also my friend."
"I have my last wish for you, Kyu. I hope you'll make it."
"Just tell me, Hyung."
Sungmin hyung unexpectedly came forward and hugged me tightly. "You'll still practise your singing."
I laughed. "Of course. I even entered a music school there. Then my last wish is for you to do the same. Keep practise singing and playing piano and playing guitar so that when we meet again we're able to harmonize together again."
He nodded cutely. "I'd miss you much."
I stared deeply at him. I wanted to satisfy my eyes to look at him because I couldn't see him anymore for a long time. I wanted to remember each detail on his cute face.
I sighed. "Well I love you, Hyung." I confessed to him quickly and low. He probably didn't even hear that I'm talking because the airport was too noisy. It was my time to go. I bid him goodbye and walked to the boarding room with my parents.
Goodbye, Lee Sungmin...
-End-
A/N: It was planned to be a long chaptered fic but somehow I cancelled it. I decided to make it angsty that way. But I'm going to make a happy ending sequel for those who aren't satisfied. Thanks for reading. Comments pretty please?