Why am I not sadder?

[fangwing]

My grandfather died last night.  He was 88 years old, and had been in really poor health for the last year or so, so it didn't really come as much of a surprise.  I hadn't seen him, face to face, in nearly 10 years, and I only talked to him over the phone for a minute or so each year on Christmas

Comments

[slanderouspanic]

Sounds like you're in shock to me, holding it all back and in so you can be there for everyone else.

It'll come. Don't try to rush it.

[fangwing]

I just talked to Dad.

...yup, there we go.

He was a really good man. Very strong, gave my dad and his brothers and sister a good moral compass, always asked about how Chris and I were doing when he called, was an avid photographer till the day he died.

Thanks, Lou.

[millenia]

I'm really sorry for your loss. :( That being said, I don't think there's anything wrong with you, per se

[twotone]

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm glad to hear that you were in his thoughts, though.

[newsy891]

*hugs tight, then looks you square in the eye* There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.

I remember not being able to cry at my dad's funeral because while I was sad, I wasn't just sad. At first I felt a lot of guilt over that - how dare I feel anything other than sad? - but here's how I thought of it later:

I'm relieved he is no longer sick; that means I loved him enough to want the cancer gone more than anything, and while it isn't the way I wanted, it is still gone.
I'm at peace rather than despairing over not having my dad's example anymore; that means I do have his example, from how he raised me and how he lived

[amlostinthenet]

There's nothing wrong with you, Bill.

People's reactions to events such as these vary so much. There IS no way you 'should' feel. You just feel what you feel, when you feel it.

Don't allow yourself to feel guilty for any reason.