All and Sundries, 5/12
Edmund's head was pounding when he opened All and Sundries later than usual. He sat down behind the register and did his best to appear to be reading the newspaper.
Walter stood under the awning outside All and Sundries glaring at the door, which would have to get direct sunlight at this time of day. Steeling himself, he ducked swiftly inside, pulling the door closed behind himself with a slam.
As soon as it did so it opened again and "Pippi" stormed in, slamming it shut a second time.
She was dressed as she had been for the play with the addition of a large scarf over her head, which she kept down.
You're not going to be able to keep that up kiddo. I won't let you take control so you can crush things I need or spoil my fun this time. And as soon as I find myself some new sunglasses, I'm going to find something to crush myself.
... Frakk you.
Edmund looked up with annoyance at the first slam, raising his eyebrow and scowling at Pippi with the second. And was that Walter? He looked unwell.
Walter ignored Blackadder for the moment, walking purposefully to the sunglass display and looking for the darkest wraparound pair he could find.
How about some pink ones? No one will notice. You'll be very clandestine.
You talk too much.
Adella stalked up to the other side of the sunglass display and turned it without regard for anybody who may also be looking at it.
She spotted a nice dark pair of wraparounds and reached for it...
Walter frowned as the wraparounds he wanted were turned away from him on the rack. He grabbed the rack and turned it back, reaching for the sunglasses.
Adella scowled as the display turned and leaned around to see who was being so rude in response to her rudeness. When she saw who it was, a predatory smile slid across her face.
Oh look, it's your darling considerate friend. What was his name?
...
That's right Walter.
If Pippi had control of her own mouth she'd frown.
That's not Walter...
Nice try kid.
Her hand shot out to grab the wrist of the hand reaching for the sunglasses.
Let's see if he makes the same crunchy noise those sunglasses made.
Pippi? Leave her alone!
Walter raised an eyebrow and smirked, twisting to catch her wrist instead.
I'm hungry, boy. Let's see if she tastes good.
Adella let him catch her wrist and reached out with her other hand to grab his neck.
On the inside, Pippi caught sight of Walter's eyes.
That, is so not Walter.
Prepared for a fight to protect her, the boy stopped. That's not Pippi.
Walter stepped forward, catching Pippi's other wrist before she could reach his throat.
That's not Pippi! Oh shit.
He met her glowing purple eyes with his red eyes and cocked an eyebrow, his smirk broadening slightly to show a fang tip. Maybe she was something more interesting than a snack.
Welly welly well... You may be right my dear.
Adella returned the smirk.
She twisted her arm around and yanked it out of "Walter's" grip.
Taking the wraparounds off the display, she slid them onto his face.
What the...?
Quiet, boy.
Walter stepped closer, invading her personal space to smile down at her, making a question and a statement of the words, "Not Pippi."
"No." she said as she played with the lapel of his waistcoat with her free hand.
"Not Walter."
He shook his head slightly. The name was unimportant. "Not the boy. Walter will do. You?"
Told you. Walter isn't that tall and his eyes aren't red.
"Adella." she said, wiggling the fingers of the caught hand in a small wave.
Your eyes don't glow purple and you're not this tall kiddo.
This is bad.
I disagree.
Adella? It's that sucking fairy! The one who threatened... Don't even think about doing anything with my body and hers.
If I wasn't before...
Walter looked her over, liking what he saw before plucking a pair of sunglasses off the rack and putting them on Adella. "Plans today?"
"I didn't have." she said tracing one of the pinstripes on his shirt with the tip of her index finger. "But I'm starting to come up with a few."
Don't touch him like that!
I think I've found a toy I know you won't try to crush...
Edmund rolled his eyes and slapped his newspaper down on the counter. "You two can take this elsewhere. This is All and Sundries, but you two are acting sundrier than is in the charter."
Walter slipped an arm comfortably around Adella's waist and looked from Blackadder back to her. "Start here?"
What the hell do you think you're doing? Don't touch her like that!
What's the matter, boy? Don't like girls?
...
Adella flicked her eyes at Blackadder and then snuggled up against Walter.
"Starting here is as good as anywhere."
She likewise snaked her arm around him, hooking a thumb on his belt. She let her fingers brush against his hip.
What is your problem? Could you not get any of the guy fairies to go out with you?
Look who's talking.
...
Edmund was not a stupid man. Barring occasional problems with cute lady bandits. And folk heros. And trusting Baldrick to do anything more complicated than pick his nose...
Still, he wasn't a stupid man, and these two were not the Walter and Pippi he knew and disliked. "Why don't you two just put those sunglasses on Pippi's store credit and move along to enjoy the day?"
Walter looked around, but he already knew Baldrick wasn't in the shop. He would have heard the man, not to mention smelled him.
"What do you eat?" he asked Adella, still watching Blackadder.
You will not eat Mr. Blackadder.
Hmmm, yes. I should probably feed the body shouldn't I?
Eata sandwitch!
"I'm always open to try new things."
I will take you swimming in the ocean if you try it. Are you listening to me? You have to sleep sometime.
Walter stiffened as the boy shouted inside his head. Quiet. I'm hungry. Even you don't like him.
You are not doing this!
While its occupants argued, the body remained motionless.
What's wrong with him?
You're asking me?
I'll get his attention.
Adella took her hand off Walter's hip and got his attention.
Both Walters forgot their fight.
Holy shit! Did Pippi just...?
Not Pippi, Adella. The boy might not be sure about girls, but Walter was learning to like Adella quite rapidly.
"Not here." He eyed Blackadder, who was inching out from behind the counter toward the door. "Where are you going?"
"Me? Nowhere. It's just a little stuffy in here. I was going to open the door." Edmund was regretting not having a weapon behind the counter. He should never have allowed Baldrick to take Lizzy out to ask Agatha to replace the bulb in her tail.
"Oh but we're not done shopping." Adella said smoothly. "I had hoped you could help me pick out a picture frame."
What are you up to?
Walter was intrigued and the boy was confused. Thus, both waited to see what Adella had in mind.
"Picture frame? Alright. Then you two will be going." He looked longingly at the door. It was too much to ask that a random trooper would walk by, wasn't it.
"What sort of frame did you have in mind?" he asked, looking at the wood, glass, and plastic options.
Adella turned to follow Blackadder, she looked up at Walter and then turned her head looking pointedly down at a particular shelf behind them.
"What are those on the bottom there?"
Walter followed the look and tilted his head in the same direction, releasing his hold on Adella to feign interest in the picture frames.
Playing with one's food was fun.
He is not food. Keep him alive and I'll work out a deal with you.
For this one you don't even like?
For the humans on the island.
A vampire has to eat, boy.
I'll show you where you can get blood. Don't bite anyone or kill anyone and I'll shut up for now.
I'll think about it...
In the meantime, he had reached the shelf Adella had indicated and waited for her next move.
Edmund knelt, knees popping, to pull out the gaudy pink frame he thought Pippi had indicated. "This one?"
That is one ugly frame.
"Actually," she said pointing, "I meant that one right..."
As his head turned to look, she grabbed his head quick as a wink and slammed it against a conveniently located shelf.
*CRACK*
"...There."
Ouch.
Edmund slumped to the floor, bleeding from a cut where his head hit the shelf.
Adella grabbed the collar of Blackadder's coat and lifted him up by it.
What the hell was that?
Shut up kid.
Put him down. Call the clinic. He's bleeding. I've told you...
Yeah yeah yeah, you're very strong, blah blah blah I've got to be careful.
It's not enough to be careful! You have to be gentle! Get out of my body!
Ya know? I don't think I could if I wanted to. There's something holding me in here. But that's okay because I don't want to. I'm not going back there unless I can take you with me.
Oh like the land of the frigging fairies is so bad?
That's not home any more. That's not where I'd go. And I'm sure somehow you had something to do with it. What did you say to the Lord of Shapes after I'd gone??
Only that I didn't want you to come back ever.
Well... He seems to have failed you in that regard.
Walter's nostrils flared as the scent of blood hit the air. He'd been telling the boy he was hungry and here was breakfast, lunch, brunch, whatever - food!
NO! The boy's shout was loud enough to make Walter wince. We had a deal. I'm quiet, you don't eat anyone!
I said I would think about it and he's bleeding already, boy.
I don't trust you. Look, I'll be helpful, but you can't do this!
This is my body now.
Is it? When we were arguing before, my body wasn't doing anything at all and we're doing it again. You've got a bleeding shopkeeper in an open shop and while we argue, someone might come in. The only reason the boy wasn't holding out for that option was that that someone would probably get killed or worse. Do you really want to attract attention? I'm not the only vampire hunter on the island.
Stop fighting me. Shut up. Answer questions when I need them answered, and for now, you have a deal. Call it detente.
Detente in the sense that both parties were willing to stop fighting until one of them found the upper hand? Okay. A deal.
Walter went from motionless to action with no noticeable transition, crossing to the door and locking it before returning to start making a duct tape mummy out of the shopkeeper.
Adella/Pippi, in the meantime, stands motionless as Walter takes the shopkeeper and begins to mummify him.
How did you get back in my body anyway?
I told you I. Don't. Know. And I don't care. I'm just surprised as you are kid, only more pleasantly so.
What did you mean about not coming from the land of the fairies? Where the hell did you come from?
Exactly.
Exactly?
I've been in Hell. Literally in Hell. They sent me to Hell. That's where I've been, that's where I came from.
That's where you belong.
Obviously not. Because here I am.
I'll send you back.
Bring it.
The boy remained silent while Walter finished with Blackadder until the vampire leaned down and licked the blood off the man's forehead.
Stop it!
No fangs, boy.
Bollocks to that! Keep your mouth off of him.
Just remember the deal. Walter finished with Blackadder and picked him up to get him out of view of anyone looking through the window.
"Adella?"
Did he just lick Mr. Blackadder??
Poor baby. He's hungry.
Adella shook her head and smiled at Walter.
"Right behind you."
He lives in a flat over the shop, the boy offered. You don't have to hurt him. He was hoping that some opportunity to free himself and his friend would arise before keeping Blackadder duct taped in his flat became untenable. Or before he became too weak to fight the vampire's urges.
"Upstairs," Walter said, following the boy's suggestion, completely untouched by his host's concerns.
All and Sundries is closed.
[ooc: That Walter and Pippi went in to shop is okay for radio. Rest is NFB.]
Walter stood under the awning outside All and Sundries glaring at the door, which would have to get direct sunlight at this time of day. Steeling himself, he ducked swiftly inside, pulling the door closed behind himself with a slam.
As soon as it did so it opened again and "Pippi" stormed in, slamming it shut a second time.
She was dressed as she had been for the play with the addition of a large scarf over her head, which she kept down.
You're not going to be able to keep that up kiddo. I won't let you take control so you can crush things I need or spoil my fun this time. And as soon as I find myself some new sunglasses, I'm going to find something to crush myself.
... Frakk you.
Edmund looked up with annoyance at the first slam, raising his eyebrow and scowling at Pippi with the second. And was that Walter? He looked unwell.
Walter ignored Blackadder for the moment, walking purposefully to the sunglass display and looking for the darkest wraparound pair he could find.
How about some pink ones? No one will notice. You'll be very clandestine.
You talk too much.
Adella stalked up to the other side of the sunglass display and turned it without regard for anybody who may also be looking at it.
She spotted a nice dark pair of wraparounds and reached for it...
Walter frowned as the wraparounds he wanted were turned away from him on the rack. He grabbed the rack and turned it back, reaching for the sunglasses.
Adella scowled as the display turned and leaned around to see who was being so rude in response to her rudeness. When she saw who it was, a predatory smile slid across her face.
Oh look, it's your darling considerate friend. What was his name?
...
That's right Walter.
If Pippi had control of her own mouth she'd frown.
That's not Walter...
Nice try kid.
Her hand shot out to grab the wrist of the hand reaching for the sunglasses.
Let's see if he makes the same crunchy noise those sunglasses made.
Pippi? Leave her alone!
Walter raised an eyebrow and smirked, twisting to catch her wrist instead.
I'm hungry, boy. Let's see if she tastes good.
Adella let him catch her wrist and reached out with her other hand to grab his neck.
On the inside, Pippi caught sight of Walter's eyes.
That, is so not Walter.
Prepared for a fight to protect her, the boy stopped. That's not Pippi.
Walter stepped forward, catching Pippi's other wrist before she could reach his throat.
That's not Pippi! Oh shit.
He met her glowing purple eyes with his red eyes and cocked an eyebrow, his smirk broadening slightly to show a fang tip. Maybe she was something more interesting than a snack.
Welly welly well... You may be right my dear.
Adella returned the smirk.
She twisted her arm around and yanked it out of "Walter's" grip.
Taking the wraparounds off the display, she slid them onto his face.
What the...?
Quiet, boy.
Walter stepped closer, invading her personal space to smile down at her, making a question and a statement of the words, "Not Pippi."
"No." she said as she played with the lapel of his waistcoat with her free hand.
"Not Walter."
He shook his head slightly. The name was unimportant. "Not the boy. Walter will do. You?"
Told you. Walter isn't that tall and his eyes aren't red.
"Adella." she said, wiggling the fingers of the caught hand in a small wave.
Your eyes don't glow purple and you're not this tall kiddo.
This is bad.
I disagree.
Adella? It's that sucking fairy! The one who threatened... Don't even think about doing anything with my body and hers.
If I wasn't before...
Walter looked her over, liking what he saw before plucking a pair of sunglasses off the rack and putting them on Adella. "Plans today?"
"I didn't have." she said tracing one of the pinstripes on his shirt with the tip of her index finger. "But I'm starting to come up with a few."
Don't touch him like that!
I think I've found a toy I know you won't try to crush...
Edmund rolled his eyes and slapped his newspaper down on the counter. "You two can take this elsewhere. This is All and Sundries, but you two are acting sundrier than is in the charter."
Walter slipped an arm comfortably around Adella's waist and looked from Blackadder back to her. "Start here?"
What the hell do you think you're doing? Don't touch her like that!
What's the matter, boy? Don't like girls?
...
Adella flicked her eyes at Blackadder and then snuggled up against Walter.
"Starting here is as good as anywhere."
She likewise snaked her arm around him, hooking a thumb on his belt. She let her fingers brush against his hip.
What is your problem? Could you not get any of the guy fairies to go out with you?
Look who's talking.
...
Edmund was not a stupid man. Barring occasional problems with cute lady bandits. And folk heros. And trusting Baldrick to do anything more complicated than pick his nose...
Still, he wasn't a stupid man, and these two were not the Walter and Pippi he knew and disliked. "Why don't you two just put those sunglasses on Pippi's store credit and move along to enjoy the day?"
Walter looked around, but he already knew Baldrick wasn't in the shop. He would have heard the man, not to mention smelled him.
"What do you eat?" he asked Adella, still watching Blackadder.
You will not eat Mr. Blackadder.
Hmmm, yes. I should probably feed the body shouldn't I?
Eata sandwitch!
"I'm always open to try new things."
I will take you swimming in the ocean if you try it. Are you listening to me? You have to sleep sometime.
Walter stiffened as the boy shouted inside his head. Quiet. I'm hungry. Even you don't like him.
You are not doing this!
While its occupants argued, the body remained motionless.
What's wrong with him?
You're asking me?
I'll get his attention.
Adella took her hand off Walter's hip and got his attention.
Both Walters forgot their fight.
Holy shit! Did Pippi just...?
Not Pippi, Adella. The boy might not be sure about girls, but Walter was learning to like Adella quite rapidly.
"Not here." He eyed Blackadder, who was inching out from behind the counter toward the door. "Where are you going?"
"Me? Nowhere. It's just a little stuffy in here. I was going to open the door." Edmund was regretting not having a weapon behind the counter. He should never have allowed Baldrick to take Lizzy out to ask Agatha to replace the bulb in her tail.
"Oh but we're not done shopping." Adella said smoothly. "I had hoped you could help me pick out a picture frame."
What are you up to?
Walter was intrigued and the boy was confused. Thus, both waited to see what Adella had in mind.
"Picture frame? Alright. Then you two will be going." He looked longingly at the door. It was too much to ask that a random trooper would walk by, wasn't it.
"What sort of frame did you have in mind?" he asked, looking at the wood, glass, and plastic options.
Adella turned to follow Blackadder, she looked up at Walter and then turned her head looking pointedly down at a particular shelf behind them.
"What are those on the bottom there?"
Walter followed the look and tilted his head in the same direction, releasing his hold on Adella to feign interest in the picture frames.
Playing with one's food was fun.
He is not food. Keep him alive and I'll work out a deal with you.
For this one you don't even like?
For the humans on the island.
A vampire has to eat, boy.
I'll show you where you can get blood. Don't bite anyone or kill anyone and I'll shut up for now.
I'll think about it...
In the meantime, he had reached the shelf Adella had indicated and waited for her next move.
Edmund knelt, knees popping, to pull out the gaudy pink frame he thought Pippi had indicated. "This one?"
That is one ugly frame.
"Actually," she said pointing, "I meant that one right..."
As his head turned to look, she grabbed his head quick as a wink and slammed it against a conveniently located shelf.
*CRACK*
"...There."
Ouch.
Edmund slumped to the floor, bleeding from a cut where his head hit the shelf.
Adella grabbed the collar of Blackadder's coat and lifted him up by it.
What the hell was that?
Shut up kid.
Put him down. Call the clinic. He's bleeding. I've told you...
Yeah yeah yeah, you're very strong, blah blah blah I've got to be careful.
It's not enough to be careful! You have to be gentle! Get out of my body!
Ya know? I don't think I could if I wanted to. There's something holding me in here. But that's okay because I don't want to. I'm not going back there unless I can take you with me.
Oh like the land of the frigging fairies is so bad?
That's not home any more. That's not where I'd go. And I'm sure somehow you had something to do with it. What did you say to the Lord of Shapes after I'd gone??
Only that I didn't want you to come back ever.
Well... He seems to have failed you in that regard.
Walter's nostrils flared as the scent of blood hit the air. He'd been telling the boy he was hungry and here was breakfast, lunch, brunch, whatever - food!
NO! The boy's shout was loud enough to make Walter wince. We had a deal. I'm quiet, you don't eat anyone!
I said I would think about it and he's bleeding already, boy.
I don't trust you. Look, I'll be helpful, but you can't do this!
This is my body now.
Is it? When we were arguing before, my body wasn't doing anything at all and we're doing it again. You've got a bleeding shopkeeper in an open shop and while we argue, someone might come in. The only reason the boy wasn't holding out for that option was that that someone would probably get killed or worse. Do you really want to attract attention? I'm not the only vampire hunter on the island.
Stop fighting me. Shut up. Answer questions when I need them answered, and for now, you have a deal. Call it detente.
Detente in the sense that both parties were willing to stop fighting until one of them found the upper hand? Okay. A deal.
Walter went from motionless to action with no noticeable transition, crossing to the door and locking it before returning to start making a duct tape mummy out of the shopkeeper.
Adella/Pippi, in the meantime, stands motionless as Walter takes the shopkeeper and begins to mummify him.
How did you get back in my body anyway?
I told you I. Don't. Know. And I don't care. I'm just surprised as you are kid, only more pleasantly so.
What did you mean about not coming from the land of the fairies? Where the hell did you come from?
Exactly.
Exactly?
I've been in Hell. Literally in Hell. They sent me to Hell. That's where I've been, that's where I came from.
That's where you belong.
Obviously not. Because here I am.
I'll send you back.
Bring it.
The boy remained silent while Walter finished with Blackadder until the vampire leaned down and licked the blood off the man's forehead.
Stop it!
No fangs, boy.
Bollocks to that! Keep your mouth off of him.
Just remember the deal. Walter finished with Blackadder and picked him up to get him out of view of anyone looking through the window.
"Adella?"
Did he just lick Mr. Blackadder??
Poor baby. He's hungry.
Adella shook her head and smiled at Walter.
"Right behind you."
He lives in a flat over the shop, the boy offered. You don't have to hurt him. He was hoping that some opportunity to free himself and his friend would arise before keeping Blackadder duct taped in his flat became untenable. Or before he became too weak to fight the vampire's urges.
"Upstairs," Walter said, following the boy's suggestion, completely untouched by his host's concerns.
All and Sundries is closed.
[ooc: That Walter and Pippi went in to shop is okay for radio. Rest is NFB.]