Cafe Fina, Saturday
Wadsworth opened Cafe Fina a touch late because Walter was not there on time to open. He might have been amused imagining Alfred's reaction to that when he found out.
"Come on." Walter fumbled with the door knob into the restaurant and reached back to grab Pippi's hand to pull her inside. "Let's tell Wadsworth we're hungry. He's big. He has to bring us food."
"That's a good thing." Said Pippi taking Walter's hand. "Because I'm hungry. It wouldn't do for him to bring us nails. Well, it wouldn't do for you ifn he brought us nails... I kinda like nails."
"Nails? I chew my nails sometimes." Walter smiled, craning his neck up to look at Wadsworth as the man approached them. "We want something to eat."
Wadsworth raised an eyebrow at the two children. "Where are your parents? You cannot be here alone."
"LUNCH!" Pippi demanded, "NOW!"
Walter grabbed Wadsworth's pants leg and gave it a tug. "I work here. I want my food." Like Pippi said. "Now!"
I work here?
Wadsworth blinked at the two little kids. "Walter?" And those pigtails were unmistakable. "Pippi?"
Pippi crossed her eyes at Wadsworth.
"Duh!"
Walter nodded. This was obvious. Who else would he be. "Yes. Wadsworth? Wadsworth? Wadsworth?"
Oh delightful. The brat was an even bigger brat.
Wadsworth decided the best way to deal with them was to feed them and get them out, since Alfred would no doubt disapprove of sending his pupil off in this state without feeding him.
"Come sit here," he said, leading them past the lobster tank to a corner table away from the rest of the restaurant."
Pippi caught sight of the lobster tank as Wadsworth led them to a table. Completely mesmerized by the crawling lobster and the bubbles and the sparkles on the surface of the water from underneath as she looked up at it. Still holding Walter's hand she turned her head to keep her eyes on it, until she was practically walking backwards.
"Walter! They got lobsters!"
Wadsworth cut in. "Leave the lobsters alone, you two. Just sit down like good little boys and girls and I'll bring you something to eat."
Walter stared at the lobsters but sat down, most of his attention still on the tank. "I want a sausage and some cake anna cut up apple and some ice cream."
"I want salami sammeches, and hard boiled eggs, and pancakes... And coffee!" said Pippi still looking at the lobster tank.
"And bring us a lobster."
Pirates don't say please silly adult butler.
Wadsworth had no intention of bringing them either a lobster or coffee. As though either of those children needed caffeine? Right.
He left them to their own devices for the shortest possible time before giving them everything except the aforementioned crustacean and with a glass of milk for both children.
"We didn't want milk! I don't want it! I want some coffee too! Anna lobster!" Ooh, cake.
Pippi also says something in an admonishing tone to Wadsworth. However, she had already tucked into her sammitches with proverbial relish and with a full mouth it's impossible to understand what she says.
One can assume it involves the words "coffee", "lobster", and "NOW".
"You do not need to drink coffee nor eat lobster," Wadsworth saidly tightly, his polite facade slipping just a notch.
"Ewww! I don't wanna eat a lobster! They talk. You don't eat things that talk." Walter picked up his cake-laden fork and waved it at Wadsworth. "Coffee! Bring coffee anna lobster!"
Pippi didn't hear the bit about eating the lobster, she was digging in her pockets. She held out a small gold coin to Wadsworth.
"Coffee." she insisted curtly, "And Anna Lobster." She wasn't sure which lobster in the tank was named Anna... But she assumed Wadsworth knew.
Wadsworth raised an eyebrow and took the coin from Pippi. "Coffee and a live lobster, but you two are leaving as soon as you're finished eating."
Pity he couldn't just shoot them both and leave them on the doorstep.
"Good boy," Walter assured Wadsworth, turning back to his food to begin eating much faster than he was chewing.
He squealed with delight when the tall man returned with a crustacean and a carafe of coffee and left them for the two delinquents.
Pippi looked down at the lobster, then up at Walter.
"Did he say something about eating her?"
Of course it was a girl lobster! It's name was Anna... Right?
"Yeah. That's why they're here. They take them out of the tank and drop 'em in a big pot of hot water." He made little boiling lobster scree scree noises that sounded nothing like boiling lobsters.
Pippi addressed the lobster.
//Hello Anna.// she said, //How do you feel about pots of boiling water?//
The lobster gave Pippi a Look, which is quite a look indeed when you're a lobster. //How do you think I feel about pots of boiling water? Boiled!//
Walter had his mouth full, but asked, "Is it hot?" Fortunately for him, weetiny Walters are oblivious to contemptuous lobster looks.
Weetiny!Mr. Neilson decided to have a seat on the table and take advantage of the milk that Pippi had pushed aside.
Pippi chewed thoughtfully, waiting for the lobster to answer Walter's question.
She offered Anna a bit of pancake.
//Yes, it's hot!// For a lobster, Anna was rather crabby. //I don't want to be boiled. Do you?//
"Um..." Walter looked at Pippi and shrugged. "No?" He grinned at Mr. Neilson and offered him some of his ice cream.
Mr. Neilson accepted the ice cream with the glee of a weetiny monkey.
Pippi shook her head.
She didn't want to be boiled either.
Walter poked the lobster's carapace curiously with his fork. "Does that hurt?"
The lobster waved its rubber banded claws irritably at Walter. //Stop that.// It wondered if it had been a human in a past life and this was its punishment. Maybe it would come back as something better next time... maybe something sessile, like an anemone. Nobody mucked with anemones and humans didn't eat them.
Pippi had actually eaten soup made with anemones, but she didn't know that's what Anna was thinking so she didn't comment on it.
//You don't need to worry about being boiled. We won't let creepy-tall-guy-with-voice-like-butter boil you.//
//That's what they all say, but you've still got my claws tied up. You're just going to tease me and toss me in the pot. Next you'll tell me you're going to let all my friends go, too so we can go home and see our mates and offspring.//
Friends? Even the other lobsters didn't like "Anna."
Walter poked the lobster again, a little harder. //Why? Why?//
Pippi looked from Anna to Wadsworth to the lobster tank and then down at her pancakes.
Hmm, pancakes.
//They keep the bands on your claws,// offered Mr. Neilson in surprisingly good lobster, //Because you are surly and like to pinch.//
//You'd be surly too if you knew that someone was going to pay to have you dropped in a pot of boiling water without even having the decency to crack you over the head first.//
Walter was too interested in cake to really care. He tried feeding a piece to "Anna," but was having trouble finding its mouth and instead just smushed some in the area he thought a mouth should be.
//Actually, I believe they use a knife to pierce your brain before they'd drop you in...// mused Mr. Neilson, licking the remains of the ice cream Walter gave him off his wee monkey hands.
Pippi was strangely silent.
It actually not strange that she had nothing to say at all because she appears to have left the table.
Walter lost interest in the grumpy lobster and slid off the chair with his sausage clutched in his fist. "Whatcha doin?"
"Shhhhhhh!" Pippi shushed.
"I'm being clandestine."
Walter took a bite of sausage and waved it at her for emphasis. "No you're not. I can still see you!"
Pippi pushed Walter in the arm and grabbed one of his suspenders.
"Duh," she hissed while pulling him along, "I'm not being clandestine to you. I'm being clandestine to Wadsworth."
Walter went with the typical response of kids his age throughout time. "Why?"
Pippi had just the answer for that.
"'Cuz."
They crept closer and closer to the lobster tank.
"Okay." Walter let himself be dragged along until they were staring up at the lobsters going about their giant-almost-creepy-pseudo-bug-way-yummy-crammed-in-on-top-of-each-other lobstery business.
Pippi also looked up at the lobster tank...
"By Fabian, what dreadful living conditions." she said as the sea-bugs crawled over each other.
She expected for them to all be screaming, //Help! Help!//
But really it was a lot of murmuring, //Pardon me.// //Pardon me.// //Excuse me.// //Pardon me.// //Terribly sorry.// //Pardon me.//
She looked around the restaurant.
"If Wadsworth comes around," she said to Walter, "distract him!"
And she went to look for a chair to stand on.
"Who's Fabian?"
Walter looked around in time to see Wadsworth indeed coming over to see what the brats children were doing.
"Wadsworth!" He ran over and grabbed Wadsworth's pants leg again. "I wanna see the dessert cart!"
Meanwhile, back at the table.
//What did you say about my mother?// Mr. Neilson said looking around for a pair of tongs to threaten Anna with.
//It's not my fault your mother lacks a proper shell and probably flapped her tail at everything that swims by.//
//Oh that is IT.// seethed the wee Mr. Neilson. Baby monkey rage is adorable.
//Where's that clarified butter?//
//Take these rubber bands off my claws and I'll give you clarified butter right up your...// That word didn't translate well.
... Possibly because Mr. Neilson, not being one evolutionary rung away from the roach, didn't have one.
//I'll take those things off your claws when you kiss my furry little...//
CRASH!
Oops.
Weetiny Walter had only wanted to see what was on the dessert cart. He hadn't meant to tip it over when he climbed up the side to look.
My, what a mess.
*SMASH*
Pippi has punched a large hole in the side of the lobster tank while standing on a chair.
*SPLOOSH*
That was on purpose by the way.
//Excuse me.// //Pardon me.// //Pardon me.// //Terribly sorry.// //FREEEEEEDOM!!!// //I beg your pardon.// //Watch that first step, it's a doozy.//
Her good deed for the day done, she went back to the table to finish her sammiches.
Crashes here, smashes there, Wadsworth was torn between the lobster calamity, the dessert mess, and getting those demons out of his restaurant.
No, it's not his restaurant, but he's presumptuous like that.
"I'm bored." Walter grabbed what was left of his cake in a fist and took a bite. "I wanna go play."
Meanwhile, back at the table...
Mr. Neilson is attempting to throttle Anna, who, in return, is bonking Mr. Neilson on the head with his yet-to-be-un-banded claws.
Wadsworth came over and picked up Anna. A certain crabby lobster was on its way to the cook pot.
"I think you two should leave... because of the glass. Yes. The glass. You two are too small to be around all this broken glass."
Ptch! Pippi eats broken glass for lunch.
Literally.
Either way, she grabs up a bunch of the uneaten sammetches and pancakes as Mr. Neilson hops onto her shoulder and gives Anna a rasberry.
Walter wiped his hand on Wadsworth's trousers and followed after Pippi.
Anna couldn't blow raspberries, but it did something extremely rude with its tail.
Wadworth was just glad to get the hellions out the door.
Pippi stopped at Wadsworth, juggling all the sammitches in her arms (and dropping a few on the floor).
"You were a good waiter Wadsworth, here's a gold coin for you." She dug out another small gold coin and tucked it into his waistcoat pocket... Of course her hands, and the coin, were wet and covered with butter, crumbs, and salami grease... So thus was Wadsworth waistcoat pocket.
She bobbed a little curtsey and scampered out the door.
Wadsworth would look ready to cry were it not for his extremely stiff upper lip.
And the gold coin.
He's still not at all happy and would be having Words with his employer upon the man's return.
As soon as the door closed behind Pippi and Walter it opened again.
Pippi rushed back in dragging Walter by the hand. She stopped at the bowl of mints where she grabbed several handfulls. Giving some to Walter to fill his pockets and shoving more in her own pockets on her smock.
Then she headed back out, pulling Walter by the back of his suspenders.
"See ya!"
[ooc: Pre-played with strongestgirl. The naughty children have left the building, but the restaurant is ever the same. Lobster special at Cafe Fina today. Cafe Fina, its lobster tank, and its lobsters modded with permission. Your weetinies may play with the lobsters while Wadsworth loses his mind.]
"Come on." Walter fumbled with the door knob into the restaurant and reached back to grab Pippi's hand to pull her inside. "Let's tell Wadsworth we're hungry. He's big. He has to bring us food."
"That's a good thing." Said Pippi taking Walter's hand. "Because I'm hungry. It wouldn't do for him to bring us nails. Well, it wouldn't do for you ifn he brought us nails... I kinda like nails."
"Nails? I chew my nails sometimes." Walter smiled, craning his neck up to look at Wadsworth as the man approached them. "We want something to eat."
Wadsworth raised an eyebrow at the two children. "Where are your parents? You cannot be here alone."
"LUNCH!" Pippi demanded, "NOW!"
Walter grabbed Wadsworth's pants leg and gave it a tug. "I work here. I want my food." Like Pippi said. "Now!"
I work here?
Wadsworth blinked at the two little kids. "Walter?" And those pigtails were unmistakable. "Pippi?"
Pippi crossed her eyes at Wadsworth.
"Duh!"
Walter nodded. This was obvious. Who else would he be. "Yes. Wadsworth? Wadsworth? Wadsworth?"
Oh delightful. The brat was an even bigger brat.
Wadsworth decided the best way to deal with them was to feed them and get them out, since Alfred would no doubt disapprove of sending his pupil off in this state without feeding him.
"Come sit here," he said, leading them past the lobster tank to a corner table away from the rest of the restaurant."
Pippi caught sight of the lobster tank as Wadsworth led them to a table. Completely mesmerized by the crawling lobster and the bubbles and the sparkles on the surface of the water from underneath as she looked up at it. Still holding Walter's hand she turned her head to keep her eyes on it, until she was practically walking backwards.
"Walter! They got lobsters!"
Wadsworth cut in. "Leave the lobsters alone, you two. Just sit down like good little boys and girls and I'll bring you something to eat."
Walter stared at the lobsters but sat down, most of his attention still on the tank. "I want a sausage and some cake anna cut up apple and some ice cream."
"I want salami sammeches, and hard boiled eggs, and pancakes... And coffee!" said Pippi still looking at the lobster tank.
"And bring us a lobster."
Pirates don't say please silly adult butler.
Wadsworth had no intention of bringing them either a lobster or coffee. As though either of those children needed caffeine? Right.
He left them to their own devices for the shortest possible time before giving them everything except the aforementioned crustacean and with a glass of milk for both children.
"We didn't want milk! I don't want it! I want some coffee too! Anna lobster!" Ooh, cake.
Pippi also says something in an admonishing tone to Wadsworth. However, she had already tucked into her sammitches with proverbial relish and with a full mouth it's impossible to understand what she says.
One can assume it involves the words "coffee", "lobster", and "NOW".
"You do not need to drink coffee nor eat lobster," Wadsworth saidly tightly, his polite facade slipping just a notch.
"Ewww! I don't wanna eat a lobster! They talk. You don't eat things that talk." Walter picked up his cake-laden fork and waved it at Wadsworth. "Coffee! Bring coffee anna lobster!"
Pippi didn't hear the bit about eating the lobster, she was digging in her pockets. She held out a small gold coin to Wadsworth.
"Coffee." she insisted curtly, "And Anna Lobster." She wasn't sure which lobster in the tank was named Anna... But she assumed Wadsworth knew.
Wadsworth raised an eyebrow and took the coin from Pippi. "Coffee and a live lobster, but you two are leaving as soon as you're finished eating."
Pity he couldn't just shoot them both and leave them on the doorstep.
"Good boy," Walter assured Wadsworth, turning back to his food to begin eating much faster than he was chewing.
He squealed with delight when the tall man returned with a crustacean and a carafe of coffee and left them for the two delinquents.
Pippi looked down at the lobster, then up at Walter.
"Did he say something about eating her?"
Of course it was a girl lobster! It's name was Anna... Right?
"Yeah. That's why they're here. They take them out of the tank and drop 'em in a big pot of hot water." He made little boiling lobster scree scree noises that sounded nothing like boiling lobsters.
Pippi addressed the lobster.
//Hello Anna.// she said, //How do you feel about pots of boiling water?//
The lobster gave Pippi a Look, which is quite a look indeed when you're a lobster. //How do you think I feel about pots of boiling water? Boiled!//
Walter had his mouth full, but asked, "Is it hot?" Fortunately for him, weetiny Walters are oblivious to contemptuous lobster looks.
Weetiny!Mr. Neilson decided to have a seat on the table and take advantage of the milk that Pippi had pushed aside.
Pippi chewed thoughtfully, waiting for the lobster to answer Walter's question.
She offered Anna a bit of pancake.
//Yes, it's hot!// For a lobster, Anna was rather crabby. //I don't want to be boiled. Do you?//
"Um..." Walter looked at Pippi and shrugged. "No?" He grinned at Mr. Neilson and offered him some of his ice cream.
Mr. Neilson accepted the ice cream with the glee of a weetiny monkey.
Pippi shook her head.
She didn't want to be boiled either.
Walter poked the lobster's carapace curiously with his fork. "Does that hurt?"
The lobster waved its rubber banded claws irritably at Walter. //Stop that.// It wondered if it had been a human in a past life and this was its punishment. Maybe it would come back as something better next time... maybe something sessile, like an anemone. Nobody mucked with anemones and humans didn't eat them.
Pippi had actually eaten soup made with anemones, but she didn't know that's what Anna was thinking so she didn't comment on it.
//You don't need to worry about being boiled. We won't let creepy-tall-guy-with-voice-like-butter boil you.//
//That's what they all say, but you've still got my claws tied up. You're just going to tease me and toss me in the pot. Next you'll tell me you're going to let all my friends go, too so we can go home and see our mates and offspring.//
Friends? Even the other lobsters didn't like "Anna."
Walter poked the lobster again, a little harder. //Why? Why?//
Pippi looked from Anna to Wadsworth to the lobster tank and then down at her pancakes.
Hmm, pancakes.
//They keep the bands on your claws,// offered Mr. Neilson in surprisingly good lobster, //Because you are surly and like to pinch.//
//You'd be surly too if you knew that someone was going to pay to have you dropped in a pot of boiling water without even having the decency to crack you over the head first.//
Walter was too interested in cake to really care. He tried feeding a piece to "Anna," but was having trouble finding its mouth and instead just smushed some in the area he thought a mouth should be.
//Actually, I believe they use a knife to pierce your brain before they'd drop you in...// mused Mr. Neilson, licking the remains of the ice cream Walter gave him off his wee monkey hands.
Pippi was strangely silent.
It actually not strange that she had nothing to say at all because she appears to have left the table.
Walter lost interest in the grumpy lobster and slid off the chair with his sausage clutched in his fist. "Whatcha doin?"
"Shhhhhhh!" Pippi shushed.
"I'm being clandestine."
Walter took a bite of sausage and waved it at her for emphasis. "No you're not. I can still see you!"
Pippi pushed Walter in the arm and grabbed one of his suspenders.
"Duh," she hissed while pulling him along, "I'm not being clandestine to you. I'm being clandestine to Wadsworth."
Walter went with the typical response of kids his age throughout time. "Why?"
Pippi had just the answer for that.
"'Cuz."
They crept closer and closer to the lobster tank.
"Okay." Walter let himself be dragged along until they were staring up at the lobsters going about their giant-almost-creepy-pseudo-bug-way-yummy-crammed-in-on-top-of-each-other lobstery business.
Pippi also looked up at the lobster tank...
"By Fabian, what dreadful living conditions." she said as the sea-bugs crawled over each other.
She expected for them to all be screaming, //Help! Help!//
But really it was a lot of murmuring, //Pardon me.// //Pardon me.// //Excuse me.// //Pardon me.// //Terribly sorry.// //Pardon me.//
She looked around the restaurant.
"If Wadsworth comes around," she said to Walter, "distract him!"
And she went to look for a chair to stand on.
"Who's Fabian?"
Walter looked around in time to see Wadsworth indeed coming over to see what the brats children were doing.
"Wadsworth!" He ran over and grabbed Wadsworth's pants leg again. "I wanna see the dessert cart!"
Meanwhile, back at the table.
//What did you say about my mother?// Mr. Neilson said looking around for a pair of tongs to threaten Anna with.
//It's not my fault your mother lacks a proper shell and probably flapped her tail at everything that swims by.//
//Oh that is IT.// seethed the wee Mr. Neilson. Baby monkey rage is adorable.
//Where's that clarified butter?//
//Take these rubber bands off my claws and I'll give you clarified butter right up your...// That word didn't translate well.
... Possibly because Mr. Neilson, not being one evolutionary rung away from the roach, didn't have one.
//I'll take those things off your claws when you kiss my furry little...//
CRASH!
Oops.
Weetiny Walter had only wanted to see what was on the dessert cart. He hadn't meant to tip it over when he climbed up the side to look.
My, what a mess.
*SMASH*
Pippi has punched a large hole in the side of the lobster tank while standing on a chair.
*SPLOOSH*
That was on purpose by the way.
//Excuse me.// //Pardon me.// //Pardon me.// //Terribly sorry.// //FREEEEEEDOM!!!// //I beg your pardon.// //Watch that first step, it's a doozy.//
Her good deed for the day done, she went back to the table to finish her sammiches.
Crashes here, smashes there, Wadsworth was torn between the lobster calamity, the dessert mess, and getting those demons out of his restaurant.
No, it's not his restaurant, but he's presumptuous like that.
"I'm bored." Walter grabbed what was left of his cake in a fist and took a bite. "I wanna go play."
Meanwhile, back at the table...
Mr. Neilson is attempting to throttle Anna, who, in return, is bonking Mr. Neilson on the head with his yet-to-be-un-banded claws.
Wadsworth came over and picked up Anna. A certain crabby lobster was on its way to the cook pot.
"I think you two should leave... because of the glass. Yes. The glass. You two are too small to be around all this broken glass."
Ptch! Pippi eats broken glass for lunch.
Literally.
Either way, she grabs up a bunch of the uneaten sammetches and pancakes as Mr. Neilson hops onto her shoulder and gives Anna a rasberry.
Walter wiped his hand on Wadsworth's trousers and followed after Pippi.
Anna couldn't blow raspberries, but it did something extremely rude with its tail.
Wadworth was just glad to get the hellions out the door.
Pippi stopped at Wadsworth, juggling all the sammitches in her arms (and dropping a few on the floor).
"You were a good waiter Wadsworth, here's a gold coin for you." She dug out another small gold coin and tucked it into his waistcoat pocket... Of course her hands, and the coin, were wet and covered with butter, crumbs, and salami grease... So thus was Wadsworth waistcoat pocket.
She bobbed a little curtsey and scampered out the door.
Wadsworth would look ready to cry were it not for his extremely stiff upper lip.
And the gold coin.
He's still not at all happy and would be having Words with his employer upon the man's return.
As soon as the door closed behind Pippi and Walter it opened again.
Pippi rushed back in dragging Walter by the hand. She stopped at the bowl of mints where she grabbed several handfulls. Giving some to Walter to fill his pockets and shoving more in her own pockets on her smock.
Then she headed back out, pulling Walter by the back of his suspenders.
"See ya!"
[ooc: Pre-played with strongestgirl. The naughty children have left the building, but the restaurant is ever the same. Lobster special at Cafe Fina today. Cafe Fina, its lobster tank, and its lobsters modded with permission. Your weetinies may play with the lobsters while Wadsworth loses his mind.]