Outside Apartment #2, MCA, Sunday Evening

[10secondcar]

'Furnished apartment,' McIntosh and Nelson had said. 'Lease is already arranged,' they'd said. 'You just have to pick up the key,' they'd said. Brian had just assumed the apartment would suck. All of that might be true, but the contact info they'd given him (for a guy named Coulson, though the lease had someone else's signature on it) had

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[worstofalltime]

After his meeting with a few of the more colorful teachers yesterday, it was safe to say that Washington was on alert for anything strange going on near his lodgings.

So, when someone was trying--and failing--to break in next door. Well.

He cleared his throat, waiting for the guy to notice him. And no. No, he hadn't removed the armor yet. Because paranoid.

[worstofalltime]

It sounded like he was the type of guy who had headless corpses in his apartment.

"Uh huh.'

[10secondcar]

A) He'd heard that. B) For all he knew, he did, but as he couldn't currently access his apartment...

"That's...yeah, it's a...joke," Brian said, lamely, because it was a lot of things but it was definitely not a joke. "This is the real one." See? Brian O'Conner, of late of Miami, Florida.

[worstofalltime]

Fine, the headless corpses were in his car.

"Why am I doubting the validity of this?"

[10secondcar]

"No, hey, that one's real," Brian said indignantly.

And he would never put a headless corpse in his car, excuse you, Agent Washington.

[worstofalltime]

Serial killer him would. He so would.

"And the fake is to buy alcohol?"

[10secondcar]

"No, I told you, it's a souvenir. It--long story." That he was not going to tell in an attempt to get into his apartment. Especially if this guy was really FBI.

[worstofalltime]

He was totally FBI. Look at the FBI armor.

"I have time."

All he had planned for the night was booby-trapping his place. Like a perfectly sane person would.

[10secondcar]

"It was a joke. With...a friend of mine. Who isn't around any more." And who probably hated his guts. "But I'm Brian O'Conner, and this is my apartment, and I just can't track down the landlord." Coulson or whoever.

[worstofalltime]

"So, you decided to break in instead." Feel the full force of Wash's judgement for that.

[10secondcar]

"Well, it was that or sleep in my car again." It was a Mitsubishi, Wash. It was designed to go fast, not be comfy for eight hours of shut-eye.

[worstofalltime]

"There is a hotel in town."

So you're not sleeping with your victims, serial killer Spilner.

[10secondcar]

"Can't afford it. No one's paid me yet."

He was not a serial killer!

[worstofalltime]

Oh god, he was homeless and unemployed too? It was so sad when the poor were forced to turn to crime to survive.

"...did you need a few dollars?"

[10secondcar]

Jesus Christ. "No, I just need my first paycheck to clear and to be able to get into my apartment, and I'll be golden, man." It was a man in there, right? McIntosh, was that you? She'd seemed the more evil of the pair.

[worstofalltime]

Definitely a man, yes. Deal with it.

"You know there's no shame in asking for help." Okay, now he was just being a jerk about this.