The Causeway, Saturday Morning

[scary_jeff]

One minute, Jeff had been on the phone with Steve. Steve had had a firm lecture in place for Jeff, something along the lines of how no normal person on Earth ever managed to be late to a high school reunion 'because she wore clogs' and how, honestly, Jeff had had a girlfriend (and how terrifying was that), he should be able to at least talk to

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[nofishinmypond]

Jack had been out for a pleasant morning stroll when he spotted Jeff. "It's YOU!!!" he cried. He ran towards Jeff, ready to sweep him into his arms, but tripped and fell over the side of the causeway into the surf, hitting his head on a rock and drowning a lot.

[scary_jeff]

Jeff paused, lowering his phone, and wandered up to the side of the causeway to peer on down. "Producer," he told his phone, "I think I just killed someone just with the sight of me."

"Jeff, I can think of someone who, right now, would not object to killing you at the sight of you."

"Get this on camera!"

"I'm not actually there, Jeff."

[nofishinmypond]

Jacks arms thrashed in a froth of bubbles, and then sank slowly into the curiously deep water, drowning more until he was even deader.

[scary_jeff]

Jeff peered down at the excessively dead person, nonplussed. "You know," he said, "I should probably do something about that."

Magnanimously, he reached into his pocket, took out his enormous bankroll, and dropped a fiver on the sinking corpse. "Buy yourself a nice frock."

[withoutverona]

Romeo Montague, heir to the Montague strip club fortune until he'd been disinherited by his father -- something about the blind not being good judges of stripper's talents -- stiffened in his agonizingly slow path against the causeway to shake his white cane in the direction of an unfortunately familiar voice.

"Is that the man who blinded me? I'm cursed twice."

[scary_jeff]

"It's you!" Jeff hissed, shoving his phone into his jacket. "Haven't you learned your lesson? Haven't your eyes taught you about... sensibleness with other people's women!"

[withoutverona]

"You took my eyes, Murdock, but you can never take my dreams," Romeo hissed right back.

He had no idea what dream he was talking about, since the whole strip club magnate thing was pretty dead, but it sounded good.

"Turtle loved me the way she never could have loved you!"

[scary_jeff]

"Turtle loved me with all her heart and soul!" he proclaimed. "She would have stuck with me! The one who can actually see things and still has an empire left!"

Oh, that cane could never hold him off if they got into a catfight.

[l1ttle_billy]

Burk Devlin William Kessler had returned to Fandom.

He had been gone for a few years. Some had even thought he was dead. Soon they would all see how wrong they were.

And someone would pay for what they had done.