ARGH THIS SO MUCH. I love my fandoms to death, but I have a horrible fear that one day I'll look back and go "oh, I wasted my life" IN THE EXACT COMIC BOOK GUY VOICE AND EVERYTHING. Ugh. Srsly, though, if it makes you happy you shouldn't have to run away screaming, just step away a little and try to get a balance - at least, that's my take on it :)
You have come to the realization that you are powerless over fandom, and that your life has become unmanagable. That's Step One. Can a Power greater than yourself restore you to sanity?
Since you're planning to step away from the computer anyway, I think a hiaitus would do you some good. Go out, meet people, and live life! If withdrawing from the world has made you miserable, going out to live within it can do nothing but help. Even Jeff Albertson go laid by Agnes Skinner when he took time off from his comic shop.
I understand you, OP.fscomJuly 6 2009, 23:55:58 UTC
Except for the BNF-ism (because I don't consider myself a BNF, and hardly even know what one is), this secret is me. I don't have friends in real life. Heck, the only people I like as people are at least twice my age. I'm on a two-week vacation and haven't left the house except to go to the grocery store and get coffee.
I want to take a step back from fandom, from my laptops, but then what? I work, and I don't make friends easily. (This is because I just don't like people in my age group. Too busy partying or geeking it up on their own computers to find me/for me to find.)
I'm unhealthily obsessed with fandom, with my OTP, with 'fic and...I can't step away, because if I do, I will have nothing. I was going to post this with my account, but after typing all of this, I think it's best that my friends list...don't find it.
I love fandom and I'm married and get together with friends twice or more a week, and go to university full time. I also bake, sew, and do original comics. WTF, don't be such a baby. Fandom has nothing to do with you being fat and lonely.
I love it when people assume some life full of friends and hobbies (and perhaps a whole new physique?) falls into their laps the minute they get up from the computer and exit the front door.
OP, fandom IS a hobby. It IS an interest. You can balance it with other hobbies or interests, but the problem seems to be that you don't have any. It's not because fandom erases them all or gets in the way of them all. Because if you were truly interested in something else, you'd be doing it. I wish you luck finding something else that interests you, though I'd be wary of forcing something that you don't actually enjoy or of latching on to the first hobby you're remotely interested and being way too consumed with that, the way you did with fandom. It may be that you just have an obsessive/addictive personality and you have a hard time doing anything halfway. I am a little like that myself.
Also fandom doesn't make you fat. You can diet in fandom. JSYK.
Oh, wow. I love what you said. Thank you for that. God knows I have a full-time job and am surrounded by hundreds of people every day. But what's waiting for me when work's done and I get home? Fandom. It bothers me, sometimes, but at the same time, I can't say I'm all that interested in other people or other hobbies. (Though I seem to have ditched my old hobbies in favor of fandom, the truth is that I was never good at my old hobbies, and chose to write 'fic because, though reading novels is fun, you can't be social if you're holing yourself up in the living room with a stack of books, whereas, while writing 'fic, I can associate with an entire fandom
( ... )
Bye? It's not my fault that you don't know to balance your own priorities in life, or to moderate your own involvement in fandom. It's nothing intrinsically wrong with fandom, you know.
Nothing personal (actually, this secret is better than most of its kind since it doesn't seem to judge fandom like most "OMG I'm leaving fandom" secrets, but I just felt like making this general comment towards all of those kinds of secrets, since I find them pretty annoying).
I still have a full social life! I mean, I'm not a really full-on participant but fandom passes the time. What would you be doing otherwise? You can't always be out having a life. I just figure that other people watch crappy TV/reads trashy magazines in their personal time; I'd rather use mine for LJ. Like everybody already said, you can definitely do both.
It is completly possible to have a healthy normal life with friends and partners *and* to have fandom. But each to their own; if you feel it's holding you back then good luck to you in the future.
I'm going to quote, or possibly paraphrase, John Lennon:
Time that you enjoyed wasting wasn't wasted.
Within reason, I would assume. If you really don't have any social circle IRL, then yeah, maybe you should do your best to expand that. But being in fandom and having a real life aren't mutually exclusive, even if that fandom is a big part of your life.
Fandom can really change your life for the best, OP. If I hadn't learned to communicate with people online, I never would have found the friends I have offline. I wouldn't be as open about my likes and dislikes as I am now. I wouldn't have things to talk about and couldn't have developed my hobbies. Fandom follows you all your life one way or another. Whether it's anime, sports, soap operas or whatever.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Since you're planning to step away from the computer anyway, I think a hiaitus would do you some good. Go out, meet people, and live life! If withdrawing from the world has made you miserable, going out to live within it can do nothing but help. Even Jeff Albertson go laid by Agnes Skinner when he took time off from his comic shop.
Reply
I want to take a step back from fandom, from my laptops, but then what? I work, and I don't make friends easily. (This is because I just don't like people in my age group. Too busy partying or geeking it up on their own computers to find me/for me to find.)
I'm unhealthily obsessed with fandom, with my OTP, with 'fic and...I can't step away, because if I do, I will have nothing. I was going to post this with my account, but after typing all of this, I think it's best that my friends list...don't find it.
Best of luck to you, OP.
Reply
Reply
Reply
OP, fandom IS a hobby. It IS an interest. You can balance it with other hobbies or interests, but the problem seems to be that you don't have any. It's not because fandom erases them all or gets in the way of them all. Because if you were truly interested in something else, you'd be doing it. I wish you luck finding something else that interests you, though I'd be wary of forcing something that you don't actually enjoy or of latching on to the first hobby you're remotely interested and being way too consumed with that, the way you did with fandom. It may be that you just have an obsessive/addictive personality and you have a hard time doing anything halfway. I am a little like that myself.
Also fandom doesn't make you fat. You can diet in fandom. JSYK.
Reply
Reply
Nothing personal (actually, this secret is better than most of its kind since it doesn't seem to judge fandom like most "OMG I'm leaving fandom" secrets, but I just felt like making this general comment towards all of those kinds of secrets, since I find them pretty annoying).
Reply
Reply
Reply
Time that you enjoyed wasting wasn't wasted.
Within reason, I would assume. If you really don't have any social circle IRL, then yeah, maybe you should do your best to expand that. But being in fandom and having a real life aren't mutually exclusive, even if that fandom is a big part of your life.
Reply
If I hadn't learned to communicate with people online, I never would have found the friends I have offline. I wouldn't be as open about my likes and dislikes as I am now. I wouldn't have things to talk about and couldn't have developed my hobbies. Fandom follows you all your life one way or another. Whether it's anime, sports, soap operas or whatever.
Reply
Leave a comment