American Political Campaigning (Wednesday, Sept. 6, 1st period)
Josh was gulping from a giant a cup of coffee and cackling with glee about the latest polls from the Ohio Senate races when the political campaigning class arrived.
"Welcome to American Political Campaigning," he said, handing out the syllabus. I'm Josh Lyman and up until last January I was the deputy chief of staff for President Josiah Bartlet. I was with his campaign pretty much from the beginning and have been in and around politics for almost as long as I can remember. I'm just back from a special election in Detroit, which proves two things. The first is that you should never bet against a political consultant who writes things down because then you end up in Detroit running a special election, and the second is that I'm pretty much addicted to politics because Detroit in August is no one's idea of a vacation. I'd say that campaigning is probably the most fun you can have while still wearing clothing."
He coughed. "Maybe not something I should've said. Moving on."
He pointed at a huge 63 he had scrawled onto the chalkboard. "That's the number of days left until Election Day 2006. Time is the enemy of all campaigns--you can get more of everything else--people, money--but you can never get more time. No one is going to move the election for you because you're not ready." He smiled a little wickedly. "Which is going to be a problem for certain Republicans in some Congressional districts I can think of. This is also the last time I'm going to give you the number. Starting next class, I will be randomly picking one of you to tell me how many days there are until E-Day, which is November 6. Don't forget that date. Tattoo it onto yourself if necessary." He slapped his hand onto his desk. "That number, as a political operative, is your life. That number is even scarier than I am." He cleared his throat. "Which, you know, given that I'm not wandering around in a cape or, you know, being creepy, isn't that scary.
"I realize that some of you might not be from the United States, or even from, um, this planet. Most of this stuff is pretty universal to apply, but I know US politics, so I'll be using it as examples. If you have any questions about a reference I might toss out, please stop me and tell me to explain."
He pointed to a student at random. "Tell me your name, your general political philosophy--I'll take Democrat or Republican, for those of you who know what that means, but try to elaborate a bit for people here who might not know what I'm talking about--, and a policy issue you think is be important if you were running for office. The rest of you, same questions."
He lifted his hands. "Wow me, guys."
"Welcome to American Political Campaigning," he said, handing out the syllabus. I'm Josh Lyman and up until last January I was the deputy chief of staff for President Josiah Bartlet. I was with his campaign pretty much from the beginning and have been in and around politics for almost as long as I can remember. I'm just back from a special election in Detroit, which proves two things. The first is that you should never bet against a political consultant who writes things down because then you end up in Detroit running a special election, and the second is that I'm pretty much addicted to politics because Detroit in August is no one's idea of a vacation. I'd say that campaigning is probably the most fun you can have while still wearing clothing."
He coughed. "Maybe not something I should've said. Moving on."
He pointed at a huge 63 he had scrawled onto the chalkboard. "That's the number of days left until Election Day 2006. Time is the enemy of all campaigns--you can get more of everything else--people, money--but you can never get more time. No one is going to move the election for you because you're not ready." He smiled a little wickedly. "Which is going to be a problem for certain Republicans in some Congressional districts I can think of. This is also the last time I'm going to give you the number. Starting next class, I will be randomly picking one of you to tell me how many days there are until E-Day, which is November 6. Don't forget that date. Tattoo it onto yourself if necessary." He slapped his hand onto his desk. "That number, as a political operative, is your life. That number is even scarier than I am." He cleared his throat. "Which, you know, given that I'm not wandering around in a cape or, you know, being creepy, isn't that scary.
"I realize that some of you might not be from the United States, or even from, um, this planet. Most of this stuff is pretty universal to apply, but I know US politics, so I'll be using it as examples. If you have any questions about a reference I might toss out, please stop me and tell me to explain."
He pointed to a student at random. "Tell me your name, your general political philosophy--I'll take Democrat or Republican, for those of you who know what that means, but try to elaborate a bit for people here who might not know what I'm talking about--, and a policy issue you think is be important if you were running for office. The rest of you, same questions."
He lifted his hands. "Wow me, guys."