Dealing With Idiots | Friday | Period 4 (Session 15)
"There is no final exam," said Edmund, hands clasped behind his back, "Because I don't care enough to write one. You all passed, because I don't care enough to spend the time required to explain to the lovely but utterly terrifying Mrs. Winchester why I failed you. Those of you who survived the previous class without verbal or culinary abuse of the television screen passed with an A; the rest of you got whatever mark Baldrick scribbled beside your name, as an object lesson on the general topic of this class."
Baldrick grinned and waved a red Sharpie in the air. If the red marks on his nose seemed to indicate that half the ink had been inhaled straight up it, would you honestly be able to discern any difference in his behavior to verify your theory?
"That means most of you got off with a B, as it's one of the two letters he actually knows how to write; a few of you landed an S, which you're welcome to tell your parents stands for superlative, if you can pronounce it. Sorry, Wyndam-Pryce--" No, he wasn't. "You appear to have passed with a misshapen sketch of a turnip. Good luck explaining that one."
"For our final class, rather than wasting time and my non-existent limited faith in humanity determining whether you've retained anything I've taught you, we'll touch on one of the few positives to a world full of morons: taking advantage of them. Whether they're as mindless as Baldrick here, or just smart enough to be dangerous because of how smart they think they are, there's always a way to profit from the stupidity around you. Trick them out of their lunch. Trick them out of, more importantly, their money, through wagers, shady sales agreements, and glorious fraud of all sorts. Get them to do what you want them to do by means fair and foul -- you can use what I believe they now call 'reverse psychology' for the stubborn sorts, or, one of my personal favourites, just convince them it was their idea all along, because you're obviously not brilliant enough to have come up with it."
"So. Share one method for profiting from the stupidity around you in your day to day life, and then you're free to flee. This would be where I offer my usual suggestion of getting out now, if the word wrong is lumbering anywhere near the direction of the tip of your tongue, but given you've stuck around this long, it seems a bit superfluous. As for my own example..." It was a very, very nasty grin. "As soon as my bags are packed, I'm off to convince the Prince of Wales that he needs to sleep with two ravishing women in their murderously overprotective uncle's ancestral manor home. I believe the extent of my effort will be making him aware that the ladies in question exist."
[OOC: Oooooopen! He abuses because he loves, Wes. ...No, he doesn't. But he abuses because I love!]
Baldrick grinned and waved a red Sharpie in the air. If the red marks on his nose seemed to indicate that half the ink had been inhaled straight up it, would you honestly be able to discern any difference in his behavior to verify your theory?
"That means most of you got off with a B, as it's one of the two letters he actually knows how to write; a few of you landed an S, which you're welcome to tell your parents stands for superlative, if you can pronounce it. Sorry, Wyndam-Pryce--" No, he wasn't. "You appear to have passed with a misshapen sketch of a turnip. Good luck explaining that one."
"For our final class, rather than wasting time and my non-existent limited faith in humanity determining whether you've retained anything I've taught you, we'll touch on one of the few positives to a world full of morons: taking advantage of them. Whether they're as mindless as Baldrick here, or just smart enough to be dangerous because of how smart they think they are, there's always a way to profit from the stupidity around you. Trick them out of their lunch. Trick them out of, more importantly, their money, through wagers, shady sales agreements, and glorious fraud of all sorts. Get them to do what you want them to do by means fair and foul -- you can use what I believe they now call 'reverse psychology' for the stubborn sorts, or, one of my personal favourites, just convince them it was their idea all along, because you're obviously not brilliant enough to have come up with it."
"So. Share one method for profiting from the stupidity around you in your day to day life, and then you're free to flee. This would be where I offer my usual suggestion of getting out now, if the word wrong is lumbering anywhere near the direction of the tip of your tongue, but given you've stuck around this long, it seems a bit superfluous. As for my own example..." It was a very, very nasty grin. "As soon as my bags are packed, I'm off to convince the Prince of Wales that he needs to sleep with two ravishing women in their murderously overprotective uncle's ancestral manor home. I believe the extent of my effort will be making him aware that the ladies in question exist."
[OOC: Oooooopen! He abuses because he loves, Wes. ...No, he doesn't. But he abuses because I love!]