Adventures in Literature, Wednesday, Period Three [Class Twelve]
Drake had something a little more elaborate planned for class today than usual, so he had left a note directing students to the Danger Shop. There was a limit on how much he could do by just snapping his fingers.
In the room, the students would find themselves in a dark countryside, and hovering in the distance was a strange craft.
"The War of the Worlds," Drake said, stepping out from behind a farmhouse. He was oddly dressed like a priest and carrying a bible. "Written in 1898 by H.G. Wells. The book takes place in Victorian England, but the versions most people are familiar with take place in Grover's Mill, New Jersey or California. Actually, with you kids the version you might be most familiar with could be that wacky one with Tom Cruise, wherein the world is destroyed except for Cambridge, Massachusetts. Don't ask me, ask Xenu.
"Moving on! So the book starts out with meteorites crashing into the earth in England. They're actually Martian spacecrafts, and soon they're up and moving and heading out to destroy London, because that's how aliens roll. London, Tokyo, and New York. Really not a good plan to live in any of those cities if you're paranoid about alien invasions. Los Angeles, too, but that's more of a disasterporn hot spot these days. But I digress.
"The Martians stomp through the countryside in their Tripods, just as fierce as any ANTM finalist. The army tries to blow them up as armies do, but the Martian tech is far superior. The narrator of the story runs around trying to survive. Just when all hope seems lost, the Martians all keel over and die. Seems they forgot to get their shots, and they weren't vaccinated against all of Earth's viruses and bacteria. Ooops.
"Your task for today?" Drake finished. "Survival. But I don't advise doing something like this." Drake held up the bible and walked toward the alien ship, which was lowering its neck and "eye" to look at him. "We come in peace," he said. "We come in --" The eye glowed red and released a heat ray at Drake, vaporizing him. Ooops. And now more ships appeared and started moving toward the students.
[ Syllabus | Class Roster]
In the room, the students would find themselves in a dark countryside, and hovering in the distance was a strange craft.
"The War of the Worlds," Drake said, stepping out from behind a farmhouse. He was oddly dressed like a priest and carrying a bible. "Written in 1898 by H.G. Wells. The book takes place in Victorian England, but the versions most people are familiar with take place in Grover's Mill, New Jersey or California. Actually, with you kids the version you might be most familiar with could be that wacky one with Tom Cruise, wherein the world is destroyed except for Cambridge, Massachusetts. Don't ask me, ask Xenu.
"Moving on! So the book starts out with meteorites crashing into the earth in England. They're actually Martian spacecrafts, and soon they're up and moving and heading out to destroy London, because that's how aliens roll. London, Tokyo, and New York. Really not a good plan to live in any of those cities if you're paranoid about alien invasions. Los Angeles, too, but that's more of a disasterporn hot spot these days. But I digress.
"The Martians stomp through the countryside in their Tripods, just as fierce as any ANTM finalist. The army tries to blow them up as armies do, but the Martian tech is far superior. The narrator of the story runs around trying to survive. Just when all hope seems lost, the Martians all keel over and die. Seems they forgot to get their shots, and they weren't vaccinated against all of Earth's viruses and bacteria. Ooops.
"Your task for today?" Drake finished. "Survival. But I don't advise doing something like this." Drake held up the bible and walked toward the alien ship, which was lowering its neck and "eye" to look at him. "We come in peace," he said. "We come in --" The eye glowed red and released a heat ray at Drake, vaporizing him. Ooops. And now more ships appeared and started moving toward the students.
[ Syllabus | Class Roster]