Win Friends | Period 4 | Class 8
Barney was back, all could rejoice at his tan suit and burgundy striped tie. Waiting for his class to trickle in, Barney was working over a mid-morning Bloody Mary and wishing the cafeteria offered brunch.
"Judging from your quiz last week, the majority of you are hopeless losers. No wonder you need a class to tell you how to win friends. Today we'll define this 'friendship' thing as it pertains to men." With the click of a button, Barney dimmed the lights and started up a fantastical PowerPoint slide show that announced its title as FRIENDSHIP. Each slide showed a different quote, which Barney would read aloud, trying not to give away how he felt about them.
Slide 1: Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies. ~Aristotle
Slide 2: Friendship makes prosperity more brilliant, and lightens adversity by dividing and sharing it. ~Cicero De Amicitia
Slide 3: Friendship admits of difference of character, as love does that of sex. ~Joseph Roux Meditations of a Parish Priest
Slide 4: Friendship is knowing your Bro will, in a timely manner, alert you to the existence of a girlfight. ~Stinson The Bro Code
Once the slides completed, the lights brightened and Barney started talking again. "Now, what does that mean, never leave a Bro or friend hanging? Simple! Besides the obvious health hazards inherent in keeping an arm aloft for an extended period of time, the emotional effects of leaving a friend out to dry in public can be devastating. If you ever see a Bro or a friend, even one you don't know, looking around frantically with a paw held high in the air, hit him up top. The power of the high five compels you! Since I'm sadly aware many of you are so alien to be from other planets, what we're talking about here is the--" he said it slowly just in case, "High Five." As he described them, Barney showed examples with his most awesome self. "There's the Classic Five, the Self Five, the Fist Bump, a little less common and more risky - the Exploding Fist Bump, and meant only for experts - the Around the World and the Relapse Five. Today, you'll go around the room and practice giving and receiving these most necessary of friendly gestures. Just remember, don't leave your bro hanging."
"Judging from your quiz last week, the majority of you are hopeless losers. No wonder you need a class to tell you how to win friends. Today we'll define this 'friendship' thing as it pertains to men." With the click of a button, Barney dimmed the lights and started up a fantastical PowerPoint slide show that announced its title as FRIENDSHIP. Each slide showed a different quote, which Barney would read aloud, trying not to give away how he felt about them.
Slide 1: Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies. ~Aristotle
Slide 2: Friendship makes prosperity more brilliant, and lightens adversity by dividing and sharing it. ~Cicero De Amicitia
Slide 3: Friendship admits of difference of character, as love does that of sex. ~Joseph Roux Meditations of a Parish Priest
Slide 4: Friendship is knowing your Bro will, in a timely manner, alert you to the existence of a girlfight. ~Stinson The Bro Code
Once the slides completed, the lights brightened and Barney started talking again. "Now, what does that mean, never leave a Bro or friend hanging? Simple! Besides the obvious health hazards inherent in keeping an arm aloft for an extended period of time, the emotional effects of leaving a friend out to dry in public can be devastating. If you ever see a Bro or a friend, even one you don't know, looking around frantically with a paw held high in the air, hit him up top. The power of the high five compels you! Since I'm sadly aware many of you are so alien to be from other planets, what we're talking about here is the--" he said it slowly just in case, "High Five." As he described them, Barney showed examples with his most awesome self. "There's the Classic Five, the Self Five, the Fist Bump, a little less common and more risky - the Exploding Fist Bump, and meant only for experts - the Around the World and the Relapse Five. Today, you'll go around the room and practice giving and receiving these most necessary of friendly gestures. Just remember, don't leave your bro hanging."