Sex Ed the GOB Bluth Way #3, Monday, Period 3
GOB was wearing a black graduation morterboard today. He was trying to look very professorly because today he was faking it. "It," in this case, being "a basic knowledge of advanced math."
"Today, students, we're going to be talking about Algebra in Sex!" GOB said, uncovering the dry erase board. He pulled out a pointing stick and pointed to the equation on the board as he read it. "2 + U = Yippee! In this equation, U stands for you, and Yippee! is what you'll be saying when you solve this. That's right, we're talking threesomes."
"The threesome has many names. The French call it a 'ménage à trois.' Christians call it a 'Holy Trinity.' But I call it 'a lot of fun if it's me and two women.' If it's me, a woman, and another guy, I call it 'kind of creepy'." GOB didn't realize that most people would call that 'too much information.'
"It's a lot like regular sex, only with another person involved. The extra person can either rub or suck (or lick, which is 'tongue rubbing,' don't forget) while the first two are busy doing better stuff. Don't think it's not as important. It can make everything feel that much better. Or if you position your bodies right, everyone can be involved in ways that the school board won't let me demonstrate with videos, so take a look at these stick figures."
GOB flipped the the board around and, sure enough, there were several stick figure diagrams. Fortunately, GOB's stick figure art was terrible and you'd really have to squint your eyes, look at things the right way, and have some idea what they could be to begin with to figure out what the diagrams were showing.
GOB's complete lack of artistic talent likely saved a lot of trauma and his job as a workshop instructor.
"Now, your job today is to team up with another person and then try to convince somebody else to be part of your '6-4-3 triple play,' which is what baseball players call it. Again, since the school board is filled with wusses who don't have the guts to let kids simulate hooking up for a 'parent-teacher conference,' you'll be trying to get them to do something else. Something more 'innocent,' whatever that means. Pair up!"
[OOC: This workshop is what we call "totally cheating to keep from going over the NSFW line." Please wait for OCD.]
"Today, students, we're going to be talking about Algebra in Sex!" GOB said, uncovering the dry erase board. He pulled out a pointing stick and pointed to the equation on the board as he read it. "2 + U = Yippee! In this equation, U stands for you, and Yippee! is what you'll be saying when you solve this. That's right, we're talking threesomes."
"The threesome has many names. The French call it a 'ménage à trois.' Christians call it a 'Holy Trinity.' But I call it 'a lot of fun if it's me and two women.' If it's me, a woman, and another guy, I call it 'kind of creepy'." GOB didn't realize that most people would call that 'too much information.'
"It's a lot like regular sex, only with another person involved. The extra person can either rub or suck (or lick, which is 'tongue rubbing,' don't forget) while the first two are busy doing better stuff. Don't think it's not as important. It can make everything feel that much better. Or if you position your bodies right, everyone can be involved in ways that the school board won't let me demonstrate with videos, so take a look at these stick figures."
GOB flipped the the board around and, sure enough, there were several stick figure diagrams. Fortunately, GOB's stick figure art was terrible and you'd really have to squint your eyes, look at things the right way, and have some idea what they could be to begin with to figure out what the diagrams were showing.
GOB's complete lack of artistic talent likely saved a lot of trauma and his job as a workshop instructor.
"Now, your job today is to team up with another person and then try to convince somebody else to be part of your '6-4-3 triple play,' which is what baseball players call it. Again, since the school board is filled with wusses who don't have the guts to let kids simulate hooking up for a 'parent-teacher conference,' you'll be trying to get them to do something else. Something more 'innocent,' whatever that means. Pair up!"
[OOC: This workshop is what we call "totally cheating to keep from going over the NSFW line." Please wait for OCD.]