American Political Campaigning [Wednesday, December 6, 1st Period]
"Hello children. My name's Mr Garrison and this is Mr Hat. Say hello Mr Hat."
Silence.
"Anyway, this letter says you missed last week's class because of gross incompetence and a case of explosive diarrhea. I'm sure we all know what that feels like. Mr Lyman wanted me to talk to you about going negative. See children, when you're running a political campaign - we've all seen those on television - politicians eventually start doing the dirty on each other. I'm not talking about sexual acts, but those happen too.
Take, for example, Congressional Candidate Mr George Clooney. Everyone might love him from TC and those *bleep*-y movies he's started directing that no one understands or really likes, but that doesn't stop his major opponent, Mark Wahlberg, from urinating all over his campaign with rumors that George Clooney *bleeps* livestock. Spread it around enough that George Clooney *bleeps* livestock and no one's going to care about his issues, or the fact that he was Doctor Dirk Russ from TC even when he did bat his pretty eyelashes. All they're going to care about is that George Clooney *bleeps* livestock and then they're all going to love *bleep*ing Marky Mark. Isn't that right Mr Hat?"
Silence.
"Anyway, your teacher wanted me to ask when you think you should go negative in a campaign. Do you wait for them to start it, then strike back? Or do you wait for them to start it and then tell them what a low down dirty sleaze they are and then slip a reporter some photos of Marky Mark sleeping buck naked next to a nun?"
Silence.
"Anyway, this letter says you missed last week's class because of gross incompetence and a case of explosive diarrhea. I'm sure we all know what that feels like. Mr Lyman wanted me to talk to you about going negative. See children, when you're running a political campaign - we've all seen those on television - politicians eventually start doing the dirty on each other. I'm not talking about sexual acts, but those happen too.
Take, for example, Congressional Candidate Mr George Clooney. Everyone might love him from TC and those *bleep*-y movies he's started directing that no one understands or really likes, but that doesn't stop his major opponent, Mark Wahlberg, from urinating all over his campaign with rumors that George Clooney *bleeps* livestock. Spread it around enough that George Clooney *bleeps* livestock and no one's going to care about his issues, or the fact that he was Doctor Dirk Russ from TC even when he did bat his pretty eyelashes. All they're going to care about is that George Clooney *bleeps* livestock and then they're all going to love *bleep*ing Marky Mark. Isn't that right Mr Hat?"
Silence.
"Anyway, your teacher wanted me to ask when you think you should go negative in a campaign. Do you wait for them to start it, then strike back? Or do you wait for them to start it and then tell them what a low down dirty sleaze they are and then slip a reporter some photos of Marky Mark sleeping buck naked next to a nun?"