Fandom Radio, Sunday, May 21st
VERONICA: Good evening, Fandom. This is Veronica Mars bringing you all the latest and greatest on a rather chilly Sunday evening. I promise you tonight’s broadcast will be special, and not just because of my co-host.
ARCHIE: Flattery this early in the night? This is Lieutenant Archie Kennedy, and believe me, as we prepare to set sail on the voyage that will be the first summer workshop session, tonight's broadcast will definitely be special.
VERONICA: *snickers* It appears that you were all rather busy while we were out of town, so let's get right to it.
Dorms: Where Everyone is Movin' Out
Except Tempe who just moved in. Welcome to Fandom High. Buckle up and hold on tight, because you're in for a wild ride.
ARCHIE: Not much activity in the dorms today, I'm afraid, and absolutely nothing in the second floor common room! This is getting to be a frightening habit of late. Honestly, folks, as much as I complain, I'm afraid it might upset the balance of the universe if the other floors continue to outdo the second floor's social life with so much ease.
VERONICA: This morning there was some activity in the third floor common room where Tempe and Sawyer flirted. There was also, and I quote, chaos and hilarity in the Fifth Floor Common Room with Nadia making empanadas while someone named James was trying to put a suit on Pippi’s monkey. Furrball and Pup showed up.
ARCHIE: A good deal of that sounds decidedly smurfy. Can you believe that was all the common room activity? Elsewhere in the dorms, James woke Shiro up by yelling, and Pippi's monkey was grumpy about being woken up by the same yelling. I don't imagine that mood was improved by James attempting to dress him.
VERONICA: I would guess you’re probably right about that. Though I’m no expert on monkeys. Seras was apparently in a good mood today, though. She and Sakura stopped to see Ed and she later visited Al.
ARCHIE: Jude and Ranma visited Sakurazaki, not to be confused with Sakura, Alec and Dean, our two new doppelgangers, discussed dating, and speaking of dating, Jack and Rory -- hello, Rory! -- set out from room 213 on a date as well.
VERONICA: Peter chatted with Isabel and did a ‘chemical thing’ with Greg, Jaye made a phone call and talked to Cedric, and Bridge and Xander were adorable. Outside the dorms, Cam and Aeryn swing, which my notes clearly state was not dirty, and Shiro ran into Tim, which I hope was not in a literal sense, but my notes aren’t clear on that. Though I suppose in the flurry of moving activity, anything is possible.
Cabins: Where Everyone Is Movin' In
Which I guess we'll have to do after our broadcast tonight.
ARCHIE: We will? Oh, yes, I suppose we will. Luckily it seems like everyone is already there, so hopefully no one will mind the noise.
VERONICA: Then again, with jetlag and all that, we could probably wait until tomorrow morning. I think there are a few people not listed in the notes.
ARCHIE: Just as long as there aren't any more new names. And yes, we had a long day as it is. I vote for sleep before moving. But as for the people who've already done that . . .
VERONICA: Dawn and Molly made small talk as they moved into the Meerkat cabin, along with Aeryn, Isabel and Alanna and Faithful.
Over in the Squirrel cabin, Pippi, Pip, Paige, Walter, Demyx, and Nadia got settled. After unpacking, Nadia built a fire. Jamie, Demyx, Pippi, and Walter all hung out.
The Snake cabin is now home to the new Xander, Briar, and Luna, while Bel, Phoebe, Jude and Lana are now calling Koala home. Puffin welcomed Al, Conner and Tim, Z and Tempe moved in to Pangolin and Sawyer moved in to Aye-Aye. Finally, Callisto moved in to Flamingo, which is for all of us graduated seniors. Cal, I think I'm going to be too tired to move tonight. I'll be joining you tomorrow though!
ARCHIE: Are stickbugs sociable creatures? I'm going to assume so, because good God, the residents of that cabin are a raucuous bunch. Cam and Tyler talked about Tyler's infirmary stay and Cam's trip, as well as plans of some sort. That could be ominous. Cam also talked about his trip with John, and Tyler also made a date with English Peter. To spar. Well, that's smurfy. English Peter, otherwise known as the new alliterative one even though that's a cumbersome name, and Cam think the cabins are a conspiracy. That was no accidental alliteration. It was in the notes. And Peter and Greg discussed the strangeness of the cabin names.
Tyler and John talked about basketball and cheerleading, and Greg and John talked about Aeryn and seamonkeys. Why do we not have a Seamonkey cabin, anyhow?
John was greatly impressed by English Peter's knighthood.
VERONICA: ...dirty?
ARCHIE: In an entirely different kind of knighthood, Greg and Tyler talked about chess.
Peter Parker is strange. This is not news, but apparently the fact that Tyler thinks so is newsworthy. Also newsworthy, and probably worth noting, is the fact that old alliterative Peter recruited John to his prank team. Both Peter P.'s discussed the prank war, the not-so-new Peter P. said hello to Greg which is not terribly exciting as they're already roommates, and Jamie made an appearance.
VERONICA: The residents of Seahorse were also a chatty bunch as they moved in. Cedric and Sam discussed where they're from, Jaye and Sam talked about how much they love their new cabin, D'Anna and Jaye talked about how lucky they are, and Cedric and Jaye talked before Jaye invited Rory over for a visit. Dean met Jaye and D'Anna, D'Anna met Cedric and Sam met Alec. Dean and Sam are roommates again and wow, is Seahorse going to be confusing to report on with both Sams living there! Hopefully Jaye and Sam W. came up with some good nicknames.
Over in Three-Toed Sloth, Willow set up a slumber party for her cabin-mates and others. Hermione, Buffy, Kaylee, Cordy, Marie, Lyta and MacBeth were all there, though MacBeth's presence seemed to confuse him as well as his new cabin-mates. Cordy was glad to learn that Buffy was only there for the party, not living there, and everyone ate snacks and watched movies. That sounds like the perfect way to relax before the workshops start tomorrow and everyone shifts back into learning mode.
ARCHIE: I learned something this weekend, even though workshops haven't started yet: Google is my friend. On Friday while I was in California I discovered this little gem written by one of our fellow students, and I really feel I should share it with you.
It's only ninety feet from home plate to third base. There are two outs and nobody on. So there's no reason for the visiting team's catcher to be looking at the third base coach when he's in the batter's box anyway. That's when the rookie third baseman realizes the guy's not looking at the third base coach. He's looking at him. He kind of has been this whole series. Which is good, 'cause the third baseman's sort of been doing the same thing. He has to look that way most of the time anyway.
There are two strikes on the catcher. And also two balls, because the pitcher thought it would be a good idea to pound him inside. But he blows him down with a 96-mph fastball to end the inning. So when the bottom of the third comes up, the third baseman is going to be the first one up and swinging the bat, and he plans to get some good wood on it. With the catcher behind him.
"Gonna show me how it's done?" the catcher asks him when he steps into the box.
The third baseman is waiting for the pitch. "Just watch me, motherfrakker," he says. "I'll give it a real good ride."
The catcher snorts. "Yeah, I bet you will. Bet you won't even make it into scoring position."
So he swings on the first pitch and dribbles it right down the line, and the catcher realizes that the kid knows how to handle his bat after all. He's at second base before the throw even gets back to the infield and ignores the sign to hold up on the first pitch to the next guy. He must've really been in a hurry to get to third base, and he almost got tagged out on the play. But he's in scoring position now, yes he is.
The next pitch is wild and squirts between the catcher's legs and halfway to the backstop. The rookie doesn't even think about stopping. He's gonna score. He takes off from third and barrels toward the plate. The catcher's crouched and waiting for him, holding the ball, but the rookie just crashes right into him. He slaps his hand down on the plate right before the tag gets him in the ass.
"You move fast, kid." The catcher's breathing heavily as he looks up at him through the mask.
The rookie third baseman smirks. He's still sprawled out on the catcher's chest. "Told you I was gonna score."
"Next time? Take it deep," says the catcher.
"Oh, I will. After the game."
Common decency forbids me to go on from there as I assure you that this clumsy innuendo gets much more graphic, but if I can find it with Google, so can you. Oh, well done, Samuel. Very well done indeed.
VERONICA: *snickers* I'd like to know why you haven't been writing for the paper, Anders. You've definitely got a... flair... for the descriptive.
ARCHIE: I'm trying not to think too much about what else he has a flair for, Veronica, please. I read the rest of that story. Doctor Pevensie? I may need to make an appointment with you very soon now. But talking of the descriptive, perhaps we should describe what went on in town today?
Town: Where Everyone Goes for Movin' and Shakin'
ARCHIE: Phone calls. I still haven't made a regular habit of those, but Clark got one, and Elle made one.
VERONICA: You're comfortable using the internet, but you still don't want to use the phone? We'll work on that.
ARCHIE: Empire Records was open, of course, and Nadia talked music with Tim and was cute with Walter before Lucas tried to send her home, and then Artie showed up.
VERONICA: Walter, just so you know, my earlier threat still stands.
ARCHIE: Oh, and as mentioned earlier, Jack and Rory (and Vladdie!) were at the Perk.
VERONICA: Rory, we should plan a puppy play date sometime!
ARCHIE: Sunday brunch this week was at Cafe Fina, where Stark and Walter did some catching up. I suppose this is the sort of thing that has to be done when the last encounter between two people involved one of them being incapacitated in the clinic. Pippi and Walter discussed recent events involving Pip and Nadia, and both of them met Elle. Alfred checked in with Walter and there was some talk about rings. I, er . . . all right. And Clark, despite his shyness, got to meet Alfred, as well as Jay and Silent Bob.
VERONICA: Rings? I'm going to pretend they were talking about phones or bells or something.
ARCHIE: Caritas, sadly, was empty. I'm not used to Caritas being empty when I have to report on it on the radio, Veronica. That might be stranger than the second floor common room being empty.
VERONICA: That's because I was't working, Archie. In fact, I'm a little confused about why Caritas was open on a Sunday at all. But in what is probably positive news, the clinic was quiet for Janet and Stark.
ARCHIE: Well, something had to be quiet somewhere, I suppose. God knows the cabins certainly aren't tonight. At least I know I'll get a peaceful night's sleep with all the revelry going on elsewhere. Actually, sleep sounds like a very good idea right about now, doesn't it?
VERONICA: Best idea I've heard all night. And one more night sleeping in my own bed before moving in to the cabins will be very nice. Good night, Fandom!
ARCHIE: Good night indeed! And remember, everyone, there are better ways to promote literacy than baseball pornography. But if that's what makes you have a good night, well then, don't put it on the Internet where I can find it?
*sound of snickering before the radio goes silent*
[co-written with actingltcrumpet]
ARCHIE: Flattery this early in the night? This is Lieutenant Archie Kennedy, and believe me, as we prepare to set sail on the voyage that will be the first summer workshop session, tonight's broadcast will definitely be special.
VERONICA: *snickers* It appears that you were all rather busy while we were out of town, so let's get right to it.
Dorms: Where Everyone is Movin' Out
Except Tempe who just moved in. Welcome to Fandom High. Buckle up and hold on tight, because you're in for a wild ride.
ARCHIE: Not much activity in the dorms today, I'm afraid, and absolutely nothing in the second floor common room! This is getting to be a frightening habit of late. Honestly, folks, as much as I complain, I'm afraid it might upset the balance of the universe if the other floors continue to outdo the second floor's social life with so much ease.
VERONICA: This morning there was some activity in the third floor common room where Tempe and Sawyer flirted. There was also, and I quote, chaos and hilarity in the Fifth Floor Common Room with Nadia making empanadas while someone named James was trying to put a suit on Pippi’s monkey. Furrball and Pup showed up.
ARCHIE: A good deal of that sounds decidedly smurfy. Can you believe that was all the common room activity? Elsewhere in the dorms, James woke Shiro up by yelling, and Pippi's monkey was grumpy about being woken up by the same yelling. I don't imagine that mood was improved by James attempting to dress him.
VERONICA: I would guess you’re probably right about that. Though I’m no expert on monkeys. Seras was apparently in a good mood today, though. She and Sakura stopped to see Ed and she later visited Al.
ARCHIE: Jude and Ranma visited Sakurazaki, not to be confused with Sakura, Alec and Dean, our two new doppelgangers, discussed dating, and speaking of dating, Jack and Rory -- hello, Rory! -- set out from room 213 on a date as well.
VERONICA: Peter chatted with Isabel and did a ‘chemical thing’ with Greg, Jaye made a phone call and talked to Cedric, and Bridge and Xander were adorable. Outside the dorms, Cam and Aeryn swing, which my notes clearly state was not dirty, and Shiro ran into Tim, which I hope was not in a literal sense, but my notes aren’t clear on that. Though I suppose in the flurry of moving activity, anything is possible.
Cabins: Where Everyone Is Movin' In
Which I guess we'll have to do after our broadcast tonight.
ARCHIE: We will? Oh, yes, I suppose we will. Luckily it seems like everyone is already there, so hopefully no one will mind the noise.
VERONICA: Then again, with jetlag and all that, we could probably wait until tomorrow morning. I think there are a few people not listed in the notes.
ARCHIE: Just as long as there aren't any more new names. And yes, we had a long day as it is. I vote for sleep before moving. But as for the people who've already done that . . .
VERONICA: Dawn and Molly made small talk as they moved into the Meerkat cabin, along with Aeryn, Isabel and Alanna and Faithful.
Over in the Squirrel cabin, Pippi, Pip, Paige, Walter, Demyx, and Nadia got settled. After unpacking, Nadia built a fire. Jamie, Demyx, Pippi, and Walter all hung out.
The Snake cabin is now home to the new Xander, Briar, and Luna, while Bel, Phoebe, Jude and Lana are now calling Koala home. Puffin welcomed Al, Conner and Tim, Z and Tempe moved in to Pangolin and Sawyer moved in to Aye-Aye. Finally, Callisto moved in to Flamingo, which is for all of us graduated seniors. Cal, I think I'm going to be too tired to move tonight. I'll be joining you tomorrow though!
ARCHIE: Are stickbugs sociable creatures? I'm going to assume so, because good God, the residents of that cabin are a raucuous bunch. Cam and Tyler talked about Tyler's infirmary stay and Cam's trip, as well as plans of some sort. That could be ominous. Cam also talked about his trip with John, and Tyler also made a date with English Peter. To spar. Well, that's smurfy. English Peter, otherwise known as the new alliterative one even though that's a cumbersome name, and Cam think the cabins are a conspiracy. That was no accidental alliteration. It was in the notes. And Peter and Greg discussed the strangeness of the cabin names.
Tyler and John talked about basketball and cheerleading, and Greg and John talked about Aeryn and seamonkeys. Why do we not have a Seamonkey cabin, anyhow?
John was greatly impressed by English Peter's knighthood.
VERONICA: ...dirty?
ARCHIE: In an entirely different kind of knighthood, Greg and Tyler talked about chess.
Peter Parker is strange. This is not news, but apparently the fact that Tyler thinks so is newsworthy. Also newsworthy, and probably worth noting, is the fact that old alliterative Peter recruited John to his prank team. Both Peter P.'s discussed the prank war, the not-so-new Peter P. said hello to Greg which is not terribly exciting as they're already roommates, and Jamie made an appearance.
VERONICA: The residents of Seahorse were also a chatty bunch as they moved in. Cedric and Sam discussed where they're from, Jaye and Sam talked about how much they love their new cabin, D'Anna and Jaye talked about how lucky they are, and Cedric and Jaye talked before Jaye invited Rory over for a visit. Dean met Jaye and D'Anna, D'Anna met Cedric and Sam met Alec. Dean and Sam are roommates again and wow, is Seahorse going to be confusing to report on with both Sams living there! Hopefully Jaye and Sam W. came up with some good nicknames.
Over in Three-Toed Sloth, Willow set up a slumber party for her cabin-mates and others. Hermione, Buffy, Kaylee, Cordy, Marie, Lyta and MacBeth were all there, though MacBeth's presence seemed to confuse him as well as his new cabin-mates. Cordy was glad to learn that Buffy was only there for the party, not living there, and everyone ate snacks and watched movies. That sounds like the perfect way to relax before the workshops start tomorrow and everyone shifts back into learning mode.
ARCHIE: I learned something this weekend, even though workshops haven't started yet: Google is my friend. On Friday while I was in California I discovered this little gem written by one of our fellow students, and I really feel I should share it with you.
It's only ninety feet from home plate to third base. There are two outs and nobody on. So there's no reason for the visiting team's catcher to be looking at the third base coach when he's in the batter's box anyway. That's when the rookie third baseman realizes the guy's not looking at the third base coach. He's looking at him. He kind of has been this whole series. Which is good, 'cause the third baseman's sort of been doing the same thing. He has to look that way most of the time anyway.
There are two strikes on the catcher. And also two balls, because the pitcher thought it would be a good idea to pound him inside. But he blows him down with a 96-mph fastball to end the inning. So when the bottom of the third comes up, the third baseman is going to be the first one up and swinging the bat, and he plans to get some good wood on it. With the catcher behind him.
"Gonna show me how it's done?" the catcher asks him when he steps into the box.
The third baseman is waiting for the pitch. "Just watch me, motherfrakker," he says. "I'll give it a real good ride."
The catcher snorts. "Yeah, I bet you will. Bet you won't even make it into scoring position."
So he swings on the first pitch and dribbles it right down the line, and the catcher realizes that the kid knows how to handle his bat after all. He's at second base before the throw even gets back to the infield and ignores the sign to hold up on the first pitch to the next guy. He must've really been in a hurry to get to third base, and he almost got tagged out on the play. But he's in scoring position now, yes he is.
The next pitch is wild and squirts between the catcher's legs and halfway to the backstop. The rookie doesn't even think about stopping. He's gonna score. He takes off from third and barrels toward the plate. The catcher's crouched and waiting for him, holding the ball, but the rookie just crashes right into him. He slaps his hand down on the plate right before the tag gets him in the ass.
"You move fast, kid." The catcher's breathing heavily as he looks up at him through the mask.
The rookie third baseman smirks. He's still sprawled out on the catcher's chest. "Told you I was gonna score."
"Next time? Take it deep," says the catcher.
"Oh, I will. After the game."
Common decency forbids me to go on from there as I assure you that this clumsy innuendo gets much more graphic, but if I can find it with Google, so can you. Oh, well done, Samuel. Very well done indeed.
VERONICA: *snickers* I'd like to know why you haven't been writing for the paper, Anders. You've definitely got a... flair... for the descriptive.
ARCHIE: I'm trying not to think too much about what else he has a flair for, Veronica, please. I read the rest of that story. Doctor Pevensie? I may need to make an appointment with you very soon now. But talking of the descriptive, perhaps we should describe what went on in town today?
Town: Where Everyone Goes for Movin' and Shakin'
ARCHIE: Phone calls. I still haven't made a regular habit of those, but Clark got one, and Elle made one.
VERONICA: You're comfortable using the internet, but you still don't want to use the phone? We'll work on that.
ARCHIE: Empire Records was open, of course, and Nadia talked music with Tim and was cute with Walter before Lucas tried to send her home, and then Artie showed up.
VERONICA: Walter, just so you know, my earlier threat still stands.
ARCHIE: Oh, and as mentioned earlier, Jack and Rory (and Vladdie!) were at the Perk.
VERONICA: Rory, we should plan a puppy play date sometime!
ARCHIE: Sunday brunch this week was at Cafe Fina, where Stark and Walter did some catching up. I suppose this is the sort of thing that has to be done when the last encounter between two people involved one of them being incapacitated in the clinic. Pippi and Walter discussed recent events involving Pip and Nadia, and both of them met Elle. Alfred checked in with Walter and there was some talk about rings. I, er . . . all right. And Clark, despite his shyness, got to meet Alfred, as well as Jay and Silent Bob.
VERONICA: Rings? I'm going to pretend they were talking about phones or bells or something.
ARCHIE: Caritas, sadly, was empty. I'm not used to Caritas being empty when I have to report on it on the radio, Veronica. That might be stranger than the second floor common room being empty.
VERONICA: That's because I was't working, Archie. In fact, I'm a little confused about why Caritas was open on a Sunday at all. But in what is probably positive news, the clinic was quiet for Janet and Stark.
ARCHIE: Well, something had to be quiet somewhere, I suppose. God knows the cabins certainly aren't tonight. At least I know I'll get a peaceful night's sleep with all the revelry going on elsewhere. Actually, sleep sounds like a very good idea right about now, doesn't it?
VERONICA: Best idea I've heard all night. And one more night sleeping in my own bed before moving in to the cabins will be very nice. Good night, Fandom!
ARCHIE: Good night indeed! And remember, everyone, there are better ways to promote literacy than baseball pornography. But if that's what makes you have a good night, well then, don't put it on the Internet where I can find it?
*sound of snickering before the radio goes silent*
[co-written with actingltcrumpet]