Fandom Radio [Thursday, September 27th]
Jim: Hello, Fandom! It's another Thursday and that means Jim and Pam on the radio. I'm Jim and this is... Pam, something's different about you. New haircut?
Mel: Shut up. I'm not Pam. This is Mel Fray. You don't want to know why I am here. Can we get this over with please?
Jim: Wow, Pam. Speeding things along a little tonight. Are you feeling okay?
Mel: Stop calling me Pam.
Jim: Okay, Pamela. Bad mood.
Mel: Don't call me that! And I'm not in a bad mood!
Jim: Okay, okay. I'll take your word for it. Want to start reading the notes? Pam.
Mel: *snarl*
School: Where if Mel had her choice Jim would walk outside and burst into flames
Mel: Classes kicked off today with Rose teaching Popular Culture about technology though it seemd mostly to focus on Television however there was no mention of the cute guy who does dirty jobs, though that really tall guy performed an instrumental guitar solo. Meanwhile over in Ethics, that guy with the hair talked about pride and how bad it is and other crap. During the lecture Irulan and River chatted about the quetions before River threw something at John's head. Then the class talked humiliates them and admitting mistakes. I notice no one mentioned anything about being a mime. Gosh. That must make me special.
Jim: Being a mime is nothing to be ashamed about. It is a perfectly valid artistic career. You should know that. I mean, you are an artist, Pam.
Mel: When this broadcast is over. You're dead. And then you'll be history. Much like the class where good ol' Chuckie babbled on about some kind of Revolution. And in Communications Class that tubby guy served his students dinner. Jeff apparently has problems eating dinner Then again, Jeff seems to have problems with just about everything. Andrew didn't help because he started a food fight but Namine was nice enough to offer help clean it up And then Johnny-Boy Winchester decided to have a snow day in class but no one got to go home early. Instead they were attacked by snow monsters which really... you should have seen coming. Bridge, who I believe I've met before, opened up the library. Hoshi dropped by to discuss hair color and River talked to Bridge about kitty doctors and acorns.
Okay.
And then the Chef made everyone a febooluoos meel. Not many people showed up. Probably because that tubby guy fed everyone. Hey Chef? I think you should kick the tubby guy's butt. He's taking away all your business.
Jim: I've got dibs on merchandising for the fight.
Mel: What in the rutting hell are you going to merchandise? Chef's hats and bags of pot?
Jim: Of course not. T-shirts with 'Tubby Guy vs Chef: Rumble in the Kitchen' written on it in Sharpie. Maybe some flags, hats. The whole shebang.
Mel: You're very weird. You know that right?
Jim: I've been told that many times.
Mel: *sighs* In the afternoon, club sessions were held. At the School Newspaper, People volunteered to do various assignments. Jamie is going to do teacher profiles. Can you hear that Fandom? That's all the teachers crying out in fear. Cher is doing an advice column and covering StuCo. Katara is doing student profiles and neat animals. Don't let your brother help you with the animals, Katara or he'll just eat them. The real Pam is covering stuff in town. Charlie is also doing teacher profiles and something on Gremlins and Rikku is doing Horoscopes.
And then at the 2nd Banana Club... What the hell kind of name is that? Well the Bananas got together and introduced themselves. Hermione and Rikku were able to chat about being sidekicks, Sokka then tried to convice Ron to eat Onion dip right after he asked Liz if she was a member of the fire nation. Jesu. I hope not.
And then there were office hours. Everyone's favorite mountie did some paperwork, Lulu had a basket of condoms. Yondaime tidied his office and then Ino stopped by.
The Dorms:
Mel: Early in the morning "the spaz", aka "Jamie Madrox" was wandering around and hooked up with Namine but not in a dirty way and then later in the morning Beauty was in the stables and chatted with Annette. In the second floor common room Jack made breakfast in the morning and chatted with Annette and later in the afternoon some guy named "Doom" tried to keep the fourth floor common room all to himself. Bad Doom. Bad. No biscuit. Luckily, Zack, Billy and Hoshi stopped by to show how wrong he was.
Jim: Ino was having trouble sleeping so she walked on the wall. How many people do we have here who can do that? Karal returned to the dorms after many, many years away and, according to the squirrels, said "Ugh. Meh." You won't win at Scrabble with those words, Karal. Here's hoping he remastered the English language by the time he stopped to talk to Jaina. Johnny Storm was on fire... Seriously, Johnny? Didn't you learn from Johnny and Johnny last week with the bike stunt? You have to top them by setting yourself on fire? That's a shame. The notes aren't specific, so I guess we'll find out if he survives in tomorrow's broadcast. Or we could ask Master Skywalker or Adam, but this isn't a call-in show.
Mel: Or we can just go find him and roast some marshmallows.
Jim: Also a good suggestion. Johnny, if you're still on fire, stay where you are! We're hungry and are bringing marshmallows.
Mel: Maybe you should take your "girlfriend" instead.
Jim: As my best friend, Pam, you should know that I don't have a girlfriend. So I am available, ladies of Fandom.
Mel: I'm not Pam. And I was talking about that inflatable thing you took to the dance.
Jim: She was just a friend. And you're twice the woman she is. I mean, you have internal organs and a skeletal structure and everything.
Mel: Finish this broadcast so I can kill you.
Jim: Whatever you say, Pam. Making our way slowly through our notes thus prolonging my life, Karal returned to his room where nobody was on fire. But Molly did visit, so maybe there were smouldering emotions or embers of puppylove or something else dealing with fire and feelings. Sam was reading a book when Dean came by and told him that Alec was gone. Or maybe they were doing that weird twin thing and it was actually Alec telling Sam that Alec was gone as a prank. That would be a good one. And Troy had purple hair and visitors: Adam and A.J. They talked about shopping and upcoming plans. Hopefully none of those plans involve dangerous stunts.
Mel: Great. Are we done yet?
Jim: Not yet. Still have all of town to get through. Alllllll of town. Could take a while.
Mel: Talk fast.
Town, where a lot of stuff better have happened or I may die very soon
Jim: Mary opened up the hotel and prepared for a cocktail party next week. Isabel opened Pixie Dust which would be a great name for a 70s glam rock tribute band. Cher helped A.J. pick out something that is not a man-skirt. Jamie stopped in and takes a nap. A store that sells both clothes and naps. It has things for both girls and their boyfriends. Turtle & Canary was opened by the first part of the name and she didn't seem happy with the liquor section. Right there with you Turtle, down with booze! Jamie was here, too, but he was no longer "the bestest." I don't know what that means, but I think Turtle may still be drunk. Hoshi was excited for Turtle's victory in the Student Council race. Turtle wondered if Hoshi voted for her. Personally, I didn't. I refused to cross class divides and vote for a sophomore. Andrew came in for an alarm clock and accusations of having a crush on Jeff for no extra cost! The Banana Stand was open and George Michael was very happy. At the banana stand. Soooooo many jokes to be made. John "Thunderbolt" Sheppard stopped by and found out... Um, let's just say that some lucky girl got a banana for free and move on quickly. Sokka ordered ten bananas for the Second Banana Club which, of course, means that there are only five people in there. It's a word problem. Show your work when you figure it out, children. Adah was in the park, as was Robin the Banjoer. Shawn opened the sports store, Lana opened the book store, and Leo had brownies both at the Photo Hut and at the playground that if those are the kind of brownies I think they are, I would not send my children to that playground if I had any. Wellspring Arms is closed, but Cable is meditating there and showing Rikku the ropes before Deadpool stopped by.
Mel: Talk faster. I want to leave.
Jim: Suuuuuuuuuuure thiiiiiiiiiiiing, Paaaaaaaaaam. Moving over to the bars... I think one of the squirrels is sleeping around because these notes just got very disturbing. Anyway, Neil opened the Devil's Nest in bed. Anders opened Caritas and Mary came in, both apparently in bed. I'm not sure if that's in their own beds, in the same bed, or if it's the same bed as Neil's. Ask the squirrel. In clinic news, Dr Troy opened the morning in bed and Karal stopped by in bed and Dr Houser took the evening shift in bed. Seriously, squirrels, that was just unnecessary. But if any of this was any truth to this, now would be a great time for people who sell beds to have a sale, just in case people are wearing their beds out.
Jim:And that's it. Farewell, Fandom, Pam is about to kill me even though that sounds very unlike Pam.
Mel: Say Farewell to Jim, Fandom. Not-Pam is going to leave his body in a dumpster behind the station.
Jim: Always joking, Pam. Night everyone!
[OOC: Written, of course, with the wonderful cantjossme.]
Mel: Shut up. I'm not Pam. This is Mel Fray. You don't want to know why I am here. Can we get this over with please?
Jim: Wow, Pam. Speeding things along a little tonight. Are you feeling okay?
Mel: Stop calling me Pam.
Jim: Okay, Pamela. Bad mood.
Mel: Don't call me that! And I'm not in a bad mood!
Jim: Okay, okay. I'll take your word for it. Want to start reading the notes? Pam.
Mel: *snarl*
School: Where if Mel had her choice Jim would walk outside and burst into flames
Mel: Classes kicked off today with Rose teaching Popular Culture about technology though it seemd mostly to focus on Television however there was no mention of the cute guy who does dirty jobs, though that really tall guy performed an instrumental guitar solo. Meanwhile over in Ethics, that guy with the hair talked about pride and how bad it is and other crap. During the lecture Irulan and River chatted about the quetions before River threw something at John's head. Then the class talked humiliates them and admitting mistakes. I notice no one mentioned anything about being a mime. Gosh. That must make me special.
Jim: Being a mime is nothing to be ashamed about. It is a perfectly valid artistic career. You should know that. I mean, you are an artist, Pam.
Mel: When this broadcast is over. You're dead. And then you'll be history. Much like the class where good ol' Chuckie babbled on about some kind of Revolution. And in Communications Class that tubby guy served his students dinner. Jeff apparently has problems eating dinner Then again, Jeff seems to have problems with just about everything. Andrew didn't help because he started a food fight but Namine was nice enough to offer help clean it up And then Johnny-Boy Winchester decided to have a snow day in class but no one got to go home early. Instead they were attacked by snow monsters which really... you should have seen coming. Bridge, who I believe I've met before, opened up the library. Hoshi dropped by to discuss hair color and River talked to Bridge about kitty doctors and acorns.
Okay.
And then the Chef made everyone a febooluoos meel. Not many people showed up. Probably because that tubby guy fed everyone. Hey Chef? I think you should kick the tubby guy's butt. He's taking away all your business.
Jim: I've got dibs on merchandising for the fight.
Mel: What in the rutting hell are you going to merchandise? Chef's hats and bags of pot?
Jim: Of course not. T-shirts with 'Tubby Guy vs Chef: Rumble in the Kitchen' written on it in Sharpie. Maybe some flags, hats. The whole shebang.
Mel: You're very weird. You know that right?
Jim: I've been told that many times.
Mel: *sighs* In the afternoon, club sessions were held. At the School Newspaper, People volunteered to do various assignments. Jamie is going to do teacher profiles. Can you hear that Fandom? That's all the teachers crying out in fear. Cher is doing an advice column and covering StuCo. Katara is doing student profiles and neat animals. Don't let your brother help you with the animals, Katara or he'll just eat them. The real Pam is covering stuff in town. Charlie is also doing teacher profiles and something on Gremlins and Rikku is doing Horoscopes.
And then at the 2nd Banana Club... What the hell kind of name is that? Well the Bananas got together and introduced themselves. Hermione and Rikku were able to chat about being sidekicks, Sokka then tried to convice Ron to eat Onion dip right after he asked Liz if she was a member of the fire nation. Jesu. I hope not.
And then there were office hours. Everyone's favorite mountie did some paperwork, Lulu had a basket of condoms. Yondaime tidied his office and then Ino stopped by.
The Dorms:
Mel: Early in the morning "the spaz", aka "Jamie Madrox" was wandering around and hooked up with Namine but not in a dirty way and then later in the morning Beauty was in the stables and chatted with Annette. In the second floor common room Jack made breakfast in the morning and chatted with Annette and later in the afternoon some guy named "Doom" tried to keep the fourth floor common room all to himself. Bad Doom. Bad. No biscuit. Luckily, Zack, Billy and Hoshi stopped by to show how wrong he was.
Jim: Ino was having trouble sleeping so she walked on the wall. How many people do we have here who can do that? Karal returned to the dorms after many, many years away and, according to the squirrels, said "Ugh. Meh." You won't win at Scrabble with those words, Karal. Here's hoping he remastered the English language by the time he stopped to talk to Jaina. Johnny Storm was on fire... Seriously, Johnny? Didn't you learn from Johnny and Johnny last week with the bike stunt? You have to top them by setting yourself on fire? That's a shame. The notes aren't specific, so I guess we'll find out if he survives in tomorrow's broadcast. Or we could ask Master Skywalker or Adam, but this isn't a call-in show.
Mel: Or we can just go find him and roast some marshmallows.
Jim: Also a good suggestion. Johnny, if you're still on fire, stay where you are! We're hungry and are bringing marshmallows.
Mel: Maybe you should take your "girlfriend" instead.
Jim: As my best friend, Pam, you should know that I don't have a girlfriend. So I am available, ladies of Fandom.
Mel: I'm not Pam. And I was talking about that inflatable thing you took to the dance.
Jim: She was just a friend. And you're twice the woman she is. I mean, you have internal organs and a skeletal structure and everything.
Mel: Finish this broadcast so I can kill you.
Jim: Whatever you say, Pam. Making our way slowly through our notes thus prolonging my life, Karal returned to his room where nobody was on fire. But Molly did visit, so maybe there were smouldering emotions or embers of puppylove or something else dealing with fire and feelings. Sam was reading a book when Dean came by and told him that Alec was gone. Or maybe they were doing that weird twin thing and it was actually Alec telling Sam that Alec was gone as a prank. That would be a good one. And Troy had purple hair and visitors: Adam and A.J. They talked about shopping and upcoming plans. Hopefully none of those plans involve dangerous stunts.
Mel: Great. Are we done yet?
Jim: Not yet. Still have all of town to get through. Alllllll of town. Could take a while.
Mel: Talk fast.
Town, where a lot of stuff better have happened or I may die very soon
Jim: Mary opened up the hotel and prepared for a cocktail party next week. Isabel opened Pixie Dust which would be a great name for a 70s glam rock tribute band. Cher helped A.J. pick out something that is not a man-skirt. Jamie stopped in and takes a nap. A store that sells both clothes and naps. It has things for both girls and their boyfriends. Turtle & Canary was opened by the first part of the name and she didn't seem happy with the liquor section. Right there with you Turtle, down with booze! Jamie was here, too, but he was no longer "the bestest." I don't know what that means, but I think Turtle may still be drunk. Hoshi was excited for Turtle's victory in the Student Council race. Turtle wondered if Hoshi voted for her. Personally, I didn't. I refused to cross class divides and vote for a sophomore. Andrew came in for an alarm clock and accusations of having a crush on Jeff for no extra cost! The Banana Stand was open and George Michael was very happy. At the banana stand. Soooooo many jokes to be made. John "Thunderbolt" Sheppard stopped by and found out... Um, let's just say that some lucky girl got a banana for free and move on quickly. Sokka ordered ten bananas for the Second Banana Club which, of course, means that there are only five people in there. It's a word problem. Show your work when you figure it out, children. Adah was in the park, as was Robin the Banjoer. Shawn opened the sports store, Lana opened the book store, and Leo had brownies both at the Photo Hut and at the playground that if those are the kind of brownies I think they are, I would not send my children to that playground if I had any. Wellspring Arms is closed, but Cable is meditating there and showing Rikku the ropes before Deadpool stopped by.
Mel: Talk faster. I want to leave.
Jim: Suuuuuuuuuuure thiiiiiiiiiiiing, Paaaaaaaaaam. Moving over to the bars... I think one of the squirrels is sleeping around because these notes just got very disturbing. Anyway, Neil opened the Devil's Nest in bed. Anders opened Caritas and Mary came in, both apparently in bed. I'm not sure if that's in their own beds, in the same bed, or if it's the same bed as Neil's. Ask the squirrel. In clinic news, Dr Troy opened the morning in bed and Karal stopped by in bed and Dr Houser took the evening shift in bed. Seriously, squirrels, that was just unnecessary. But if any of this was any truth to this, now would be a great time for people who sell beds to have a sale, just in case people are wearing their beds out.
Jim:And that's it. Farewell, Fandom, Pam is about to kill me even though that sounds very unlike Pam.
Mel: Say Farewell to Jim, Fandom. Not-Pam is going to leave his body in a dumpster behind the station.
Jim: Always joking, Pam. Night everyone!
[OOC: Written, of course, with the wonderful cantjossme.]