Fandom Radio: Thursday, March 9th
"Fandom. Hi. This is ... Broots. And uh...eleven squirrels. You know, I just realized I paid sixty dollars worth of cab fare for a bunch of squirrels with radio equipment. Give me ten minutes to get over the shock."
"Broots! What are you doing there?"
"Eeep! School project, mom! Stay out! Please!"
"You're such a freak!"
"Cam, don't insult your brother!"
"I'm just stating the truth!"
"...the radio is on, isn't it?"
*chitter chitter chitter* *thud*
"I'm being laughed at by squirrels. Um...right, news. Am I supposed to read something?"
*chitter chitter*
"Great."
"OMG are those squirrels?! They are so cuuute!"
"Cam, don't you have to go do your nails or something?"
"Oh you're so adorable, yes you are."
"Fine, go sit in a corner, be quiet, and play with the nice squirrel."
School. Where I'm not.
"You were all very busy today. I ... probably wouldn't have noticed even if I was in school. Science! studied the water cycle. ... By disappearing into the clouds. Um...Mystical Artifacts studies...something I'm going to mispronounce. Eunuch's mallet. It grants wishes. Shut up, Cam. The students play with the mallet. Shut up. Don't use the squirrel as a pillow! Phoebe talks to her new niece Christina about her new power. If the niece is knew, doesn't it mean she's too young to talk? Or did her sibling get married? ... ... ... Wyatt hits on his girly brother. ... ... How do you accidentally hit on your brother?"
"You did!"
"Did not!
"Did too!"
"We don't even have a brother! Dawn compliments Dean's girly hair. Ares is female while teaching TGay on Hades. Um...why do I feel like I'm missing something? Ares tells students to make out for an A. ... Steerpike boggles at Annette pretending to be Blair. Hermione and Rikku don't want to make out. Girly Billy and girly Walter talk. I think the squirrels have a thing against guys, today. Ow! Wha'd I say?"
"They don't like you. But I like you Jeffrey - I've decided to name this one Jeffrey and I hope he's a boy, by the way - and you can stay with me.
" Anatomy learns aobut the nervous system. Mine? Is not processing the fact that my sister is talking to a squirrel. Worms get dissected. Cool. Film and LIt, which I am missing, study urban legends. And now I know what to read. Guitar practices. Nadia is all OMGWTFy at Girly Chad. I'm all OMGWTFy at these notes. El summons Miley to discuss her absenses. Dude, I'm going to have a ton of work to make up."
"Dork!"
"I can't hear you! Mr. Winchester, Mr. Lyman, and the office have office hours. Ms. Adair is visited by Stark and Jake. Ms. Frost is visited by Shawn. Ms. Readman opens up the library. Chess club - "
"I bet you're in it."
"meet, eats cookies, and play chess. Their advisor is there. Newspaper club get assignments and chatter. Mr.Cale is there. Um...Role-Playing Club? Can someone run the meeting next week please? Thanks."
"OMG Role-Playing Club?! I'm soooo not related to you!"
"Yes you are honey, now stop bothering your brother!"
"Yeah, stop bothering me!"
*chitter chitter*
"The squirrels don't mind my company."
"You don't even speak squirrel!"
"Neither do you!"
"...Squirrels?"
"They're cute!"
"Don't worry mom, Cam is just having hallucinations."
"...I'm going to be in my den, imaging a world where my children make sense."
Dorms. Where people should be sleeping.
"Never try to do radio from your parents house. Just saying. In the gym, Pip works out and meets girly Chad. Pippi guesses that girly Chad is Chad and invites him to the spa. Wait. Did all the guys turn into girls or something?"
"I love your school! You have adorable squirrels with radio equipment!"
"...Ten feet tall Cassie beats up a punching bag because she's upset with being on the winning side. ... There, there? Pippi tries to get Pip to guess who the new girl is. You know, I just skimmed the rules and have decided that girly is the my least favorite word. So unless I specify that a guy still has his uh...equipment? They don't. Like Krycek. But at least he - she - he - whatever has waffles. Zack is remarkably base about the girl phenomenon. I think it's his fault. Kawalsky gives Krycek marshmallows to put in the waflles. That actually sounds really good. He then defends the Stickbug sisterhood."
"What about the squirrels?"
*chitter chitter*
"Power to the squirrels!"
"My room has turned into a zoo. Um...er....oy. Six, seriously, that's his - her - er, I quit! - um, anyway, he's in a skin-tight catsuit, and is unhappy with his new equipment. I'd say he should return it, but I don't think that's the kind of thing you do at Costco. ... I should shut up now."
"...Please."
"...I just agreed with my sister. Everyone, prepare for the end of the world. Don't roll your eyes at me! Steerpike sulks. My roommate is insane. Buffy reaffirms that Steerpike is a girl. Blair is happy as a girl. ... Blair? Buffy likes Dick's school girl outfit. Cam, your jaw is going to hurt if you keep doing that. And I think you're strangling the squirrel. ... Um.... So apparently Dick is "rocking" the school girl look, but doesn't like wearing a bra. Though he is more bothered by the idea of corset. Then, Dick becomes Daphne and is convinced by Blair to hold a mangirl clothese drive. Cam? Wanna go distract Mom and Dad while I grab something alcoholic?"
"...Are you actually encouraging underage drinking?"
"Yes. You're in charge."
"...You just told the squirrel he's in charge."
*chitter chitter*
"Just go distract them."
Ever the Same plays for ten minutes.
"Thanks. Okay, this is Broots and a lovely bottle of Jack Daniels - "
"And Cam and Jeffrey! And Tasha, Selene, Monty, Jordy, Co-"
"You can't keep them. They belong to the pirate. Close your mouth. Where was I? Right. Walter suggets that Blair go do interviews and warns Steerpike away from wax. Ow. Pippi has a videocamera. I never want to see that video."
"I do!"
" Blair is still very happy to be a girl. Walter is awesome and ignores the camera. Shawn wants to change his name to Shauna and is suprised that Blair is embracing life as a girl. You and me, man, you and me."
"Your roommate is making you sound sane."
"Shup and pass me a glass. You all are way too sociable. Seely is watching the oddly appropriate Twelfth Night. Zero has a fnished movie. Seely complains about his lack of a bra to Evie. Billy thinks that ... breasts are akward. And that is why I have alcohol with me. Evie has a sign that says "Please disuccs breasts with me" on her back. ... ... ... And uh, Sokka talks about the missing Katara. Billy plays a fun game called "Figure out who's who". Sounds fun."
"I hope that was sarcasm, looser."
"La la la can't hear you! Sokka thinks Seely is boring. Someone who goes to Fandom is boring? Shut up, Cam. Dick and Seely are in fact guys. Trapped in girls bodies. Conner and his soccer ball - not dirty - bounce in. Really, not dirty. And if it is? Don't tell me. Evie and Dean discuss Dean's breasts. Seely and Dean discuss ... experiments."
"I just go the prettiest visual...."
"... ... ... ... "
"So Broots is now sitting here, doing his impression of a fish and going through a bottle of Jack, so I'll take over for a spell. Hmmm...OMG this is boring. Some girl named Nova is there, and so are Tori, Angela, Naomi, and hey-I-like-to-dress-like-a-hooker Parker."
*gurgle*
"Broots just made a funny noise, and his eyes are about to pop out. It's awesome. Hey, get away. I'm not giving you the microphone, you're ... not drunk enough! Jake is okay with being a girl. Jude is both a dude and a girl at the same time. Eeeew. Demyx offers to take Valentine bra shopping. Make sure the straps aren't plastic. Don't ask, but it hurt. ... Broots? You okay?"
"...No."
"Okay then! Jim doesn't notice he's a girl. Awesome! Demyx also has no problems being a girl. Lucas and Greg are flaily girls. Your school rocks so so much. Nova ponders clothing. Wait...didn't you say Nova is a girl? Then whey did she turn into a girl? Whatever. Sam W shrieks like a girl. HEY! Dawn is very amused. As she should be. Dean and Alec go straight to the lesbian sex. ... Here, read a few."
"Guh. I like my er...equipment. I'm glad I still have it. Ranma who is still a boy wtfs at the twins. Seely is topless and also a shrieker. ... School was closed down for orgy today, got it."
"Tomorrow? I am robbing a bank, getting arrested by the fed's, and getting sent to your school. Jack has some Dean and Alec sort of fun with Sam, no gender specified. Marty is a girl. This has happened before?"
"Not s'far as I know. Go sit on squirrel with corner. I'm doing radio. You don't even go to Fandom. Um...you read this already...that's coming up later...here. Chris eloquently summarizes everything with a well placed "Huh?" Dick informs Annette that he knew he'd be hot. Diiiiiirty. Teddy tells Chad to stop starring at his own breasts. Diiiiirty. John and Aeryn are diiiiirty. ... I should add that John is a boy. Marie and Jamie are John and Aeryn."
"...What?"
"Shhh, the voices are talking. Stark is a cussing girl. Conner is happy he can play soccer. Anders is a boy. He and Bridge are diiiirty. John Connor is also diiiirty, only without company. Nadia wonders why Walter is a girl. Then they get diiiirty. Pippi wonders the same thing. Tyler and Alec get diiiirty."
"Okay, put the microphone down, stop saying diiiirty, and give me the notes. For the record? Only half the people in the above list actually had sex. The freaks freaky roommate is cool with being a girl. Because girls rule. Peter Petrelli comes to talk to Sam W, who I'm nicknaming Saw, and is all wtfy at him being a girl. Peter isn't a boy. Oh! Sorry! He is! Thanks Jeffrey! Alec thinks Saw is hot. And then they make out. Sokka feels himself up. Phoebe is happy that Bel still has his boy parts. Blair comes to see what gender Bel is and then they make out. Broots?"
"Gunh."
"Okay then! Anders tells Bel and Phoebe to stop having sex. You're mean! Hamlet worries about bras. Sakurazaki makes out with AI. Billy makes out with Schrodinger, who doesn't notice his partner is a girl. Ray is a boy. Molly comes by and they make out. I'm bored so I'm handing the mike back to boring boy and his new best friend. Come on Jeffrey, let's see what he has in his bookshelf."
"I have a mike. I have a squirrel. I have notes. I paid sixties dollars to get all this."
"One-hundred and twenty, you're going to need to pay the fare back. Stop doing that to your head, we're only half way done."
"We? Jude calms down Rikku. Awwwwww, how cute. Parker helps Jack with his/her/whatever's hair."
"And then they make out!"
"...I'm going to go gray before I'm 20. Irulan wasn't expecting Jack to turn into a girl. Summer is a good girlfriend and lets Chris borrow her clothes. Marie builds a bridge which then hits Anders. Bad Marie. Z is suprised to see that Bridge is a girl. ... Oh. Never mind. Stop rolling your eyes! Dick and Annette have a girls' night in. Jim and Lana come out of the brain. Stark is a peach. Hey!"
"Come on, I wanna do some more!"
"NO! OW! Hey! Let go! Ow!"
"What is going on in here?"
"Um..."
"JC? Why is your room filled with squirrels?"
"Can we keep one Mom, can we, please, aren't they cute? This one is named Jeffrey!"
"JC? You didn't answer me. Have you been drinking?"
"Uuuuh..."
"I'm helping little Jacky with a school project Mom, he's just in a bit of shock."
"... Don't kill each other. And I don't want to see a single squirrel tomorrow."
"Uuuuh..."
"No need to thank me, dweeb!
Town. Which is cool.
" Jude opens Luke's Dinner. OMG how is this news? It's boooooring. Rikku is startled to discover that her boyfriend is actually a girl. There is discussion of hitting Ranma. Cafe Fina has more chorus girls than usual. Moist keeps his gender and his mail. Oh hey, that's kinda funny. ... I'm not sure which part startles Turtle more: Teddy's ability to shapeshift or his new gender. Shouldn't one help out with the other? I'm confused on the pronouns here. ... HEY! Someone, slap Byron! Deadpool spears his mentorees!"
"Gimme!"
"Hey!"
"You're not doing it right! Let me. Rikku boggles her mentor's new asses. That's totally what I would be doing. So does Setsuna. Deadpool wants to know why Tyler is a blonde girl. Because they're hot. Arashi and Deadpool make out. Also, Deadpool slept with Yuki and a nun. Deadpool is a whore. Peter Parker checks out Deadpool's nice pert breasts. Tex doesn't believe that Deadpool hasn't done diiiiiirty things. Nor do I."
"Are all guys perverts or did I just get lucky?"
"Girls are pretty. The twins flaunt their bodies. Lucifer hangs in the park. So does Jake. The female version of my roommate, but not my actual roommate who is a girl, have a very confusing conversation about which one of them is a she and which one is a he. Lucifer and notroomieBlair have a confusing conversation. Anything that has Blaaaaair in it is confusing. Lucifer prefers being a girl to being a kid. Jake and Krycek are sweet until they figure out who they are. Then they make out. Lucifer teases Dr. Wilson about who he is. A doctor? What's wrong with being a doctor? Or about being a girl? I'm sure he's a hot girl. It's like the rule of the school. Everyone is hot. Except me, but at least I don't get beat up on a regural basis anymore."
"Come on Sophocles, hand over the mike before you tell your classmates about the time you go so scared of a goose that you ran up a tree. Oh wait, I just did. Move it! Ellen and Dr. Wilson meet for the first time as adults. Last time? They were chipmunks. Lucifer tells Chrono that she's hot. Then they make out. Progressive Numbers, Inc. is open. Twenty says the dork works there."
"Donut."
"Moron. Lana opens the bookstore. Yawn. Chick with Tools is in. Xander and Bridge boggle at each other before making out. Xander complains about the eyepatch to Dawn. Mel asks Xander for advice on looking for Katara. Check under the couch. Rosette thinks Chrono is possessed. .... Freak. Deadpool comes to church to announce that he has boobs. You know, I find myself agreeding with drunk moron over there again. He is a whore."
"Ha! Gimme! Yay! Wilson and Phale have pizzzzza for their mentorees. My mentor is the coolestest! And Blair! Is awesome! So's Not-Blair Blair! And, and, and ... Tori, and Phoebe, and a Lana. Pippi is a giiiiirl. So is River, Mac-who-is-anti-PC-but-cool-otherwise, Dick-who-no-longer-has-one, and Annette."
"Things I have discovered tonight: I love squirrels. My brother has moments of awesomeness. They're few and far between, like this? Is the first one ever. But they do occur."
"..."
"And his face turns a very funny color! Marie opens the Photo Hut. Leo stops by and then they make out. Jude catches her up on the latest crazyness. And they make out. Jude is jealous of Leo's equipment. And they make out. ... Pretty. Except I'm imagining Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp and yummmm. OW! Don't hit girls!"
"OW! Don't hit me! Rose demands to know who Dr. Orpheus is. I already had this conversation with myself. Anakin is scaaaaary and sulking. Luke checks up on Anakin. Rory takes photos and discusses Lukey's hair. Anakin tells Logan that Rory is making fun of him. I like my equipment. I really, really like it."
"I didn't need to know that, like, ever."
" Chuck runs screaming through the house like a girl because he is a girl. Yomiko re-anacts the flood. Jarod who I totally don't know, really, and Sakura come to help. Hades's hair goes out."
"That's so weird, freak. Why are you laughing?"
" Ares likes being a hot girl. Yuki wakes up in a room full of girls and they talk about boobs. Diiiiirty. Claaaaaark is back. Xaaaaander sends out email. ... Diiiirty. Else where in town, Alanna doesn't show, so Dr. Troy does. Show. With his bits in tact. I quit visits the sick kids. Billy comes to see Ami. Doggie is Santa Claus!!!! I wanna new laptop!!!! What?"
"Sandra? Promise that you'll send me a tape."
*chitter chitter*
"I'll say that's a yes."
"Hey, get out of sock drawer! There's a squirrel in my sock drawer! Bad squirrel!"
"Oh this is beautfiul. Phoebe tries to make mai tais out of rainwater. WTF? Bel, who is totally allowed to have sex, is a body-gaurd. Lucifer makes GOB Phoebe's magical slave boy. ... Lucifer? I'm sure my adress is listed in Broots's record somewhere. Byron and Rose talk weather. Booooring. Neil puddlejumps. Fun! Yondaime and Deadpool talk drunken mass destruction. And...I'm done?! Woe! That was fuuuun! Moron! Get over here and say good-night!"
"There was a squirrel trying to eat my sock."
"That's nice. So Jeffrey....how can I convince you to stay here?"
*chitter chitter*
"I can provide food, money, emberassing stories about moron's childhood..."
*chitter chitter*
"OMG you're so cute! The squirrel's are disassembling the radio equipment! That is so awesome! Oh, I have to get off now. By Fandom! This was Cam, the cool Broots sibling! And Jeffrey, the awesome squirrel."
"Broots. The guy who shelled out 120 dollars to have squirrels invade his house and got humilated by his sister. At least I still have all the parts I was born with."
"Night!"
"Night."
((Ooc: Sorry for the lateness!))
"Broots! What are you doing there?"
"Eeep! School project, mom! Stay out! Please!"
"You're such a freak!"
"Cam, don't insult your brother!"
"I'm just stating the truth!"
"...the radio is on, isn't it?"
*chitter chitter chitter* *thud*
"I'm being laughed at by squirrels. Um...right, news. Am I supposed to read something?"
*chitter chitter*
"Great."
"OMG are those squirrels?! They are so cuuute!"
"Cam, don't you have to go do your nails or something?"
"Oh you're so adorable, yes you are."
"Fine, go sit in a corner, be quiet, and play with the nice squirrel."
School. Where I'm not.
"You were all very busy today. I ... probably wouldn't have noticed even if I was in school. Science! studied the water cycle. ... By disappearing into the clouds. Um...Mystical Artifacts studies...something I'm going to mispronounce. Eunuch's mallet. It grants wishes. Shut up, Cam. The students play with the mallet. Shut up. Don't use the squirrel as a pillow! Phoebe talks to her new niece Christina about her new power. If the niece is knew, doesn't it mean she's too young to talk? Or did her sibling get married? ... ... ... Wyatt hits on his girly brother. ... ... How do you accidentally hit on your brother?"
"You did!"
"Did not!
"Did too!"
"We don't even have a brother! Dawn compliments Dean's girly hair. Ares is female while teaching TGay on Hades. Um...why do I feel like I'm missing something? Ares tells students to make out for an A. ... Steerpike boggles at Annette pretending to be Blair. Hermione and Rikku don't want to make out. Girly Billy and girly Walter talk. I think the squirrels have a thing against guys, today. Ow! Wha'd I say?"
"They don't like you. But I like you Jeffrey - I've decided to name this one Jeffrey and I hope he's a boy, by the way - and you can stay with me.
" Anatomy learns aobut the nervous system. Mine? Is not processing the fact that my sister is talking to a squirrel. Worms get dissected. Cool. Film and LIt, which I am missing, study urban legends. And now I know what to read. Guitar practices. Nadia is all OMGWTFy at Girly Chad. I'm all OMGWTFy at these notes. El summons Miley to discuss her absenses. Dude, I'm going to have a ton of work to make up."
"Dork!"
"I can't hear you! Mr. Winchester, Mr. Lyman, and the office have office hours. Ms. Adair is visited by Stark and Jake. Ms. Frost is visited by Shawn. Ms. Readman opens up the library. Chess club - "
"I bet you're in it."
"meet, eats cookies, and play chess. Their advisor is there. Newspaper club get assignments and chatter. Mr.Cale is there. Um...Role-Playing Club? Can someone run the meeting next week please? Thanks."
"OMG Role-Playing Club?! I'm soooo not related to you!"
"Yes you are honey, now stop bothering your brother!"
"Yeah, stop bothering me!"
*chitter chitter*
"The squirrels don't mind my company."
"You don't even speak squirrel!"
"Neither do you!"
"...Squirrels?"
"They're cute!"
"Don't worry mom, Cam is just having hallucinations."
"...I'm going to be in my den, imaging a world where my children make sense."
Dorms. Where people should be sleeping.
"Never try to do radio from your parents house. Just saying. In the gym, Pip works out and meets girly Chad. Pippi guesses that girly Chad is Chad and invites him to the spa. Wait. Did all the guys turn into girls or something?"
"I love your school! You have adorable squirrels with radio equipment!"
"...Ten feet tall Cassie beats up a punching bag because she's upset with being on the winning side. ... There, there? Pippi tries to get Pip to guess who the new girl is. You know, I just skimmed the rules and have decided that girly is the my least favorite word. So unless I specify that a guy still has his uh...equipment? They don't. Like Krycek. But at least he - she - he - whatever has waffles. Zack is remarkably base about the girl phenomenon. I think it's his fault. Kawalsky gives Krycek marshmallows to put in the waflles. That actually sounds really good. He then defends the Stickbug sisterhood."
"What about the squirrels?"
*chitter chitter*
"Power to the squirrels!"
"My room has turned into a zoo. Um...er....oy. Six, seriously, that's his - her - er, I quit! - um, anyway, he's in a skin-tight catsuit, and is unhappy with his new equipment. I'd say he should return it, but I don't think that's the kind of thing you do at Costco. ... I should shut up now."
"...Please."
"...I just agreed with my sister. Everyone, prepare for the end of the world. Don't roll your eyes at me! Steerpike sulks. My roommate is insane. Buffy reaffirms that Steerpike is a girl. Blair is happy as a girl. ... Blair? Buffy likes Dick's school girl outfit. Cam, your jaw is going to hurt if you keep doing that. And I think you're strangling the squirrel. ... Um.... So apparently Dick is "rocking" the school girl look, but doesn't like wearing a bra. Though he is more bothered by the idea of corset. Then, Dick becomes Daphne and is convinced by Blair to hold a mangirl clothese drive. Cam? Wanna go distract Mom and Dad while I grab something alcoholic?"
"...Are you actually encouraging underage drinking?"
"Yes. You're in charge."
"...You just told the squirrel he's in charge."
*chitter chitter*
"Just go distract them."
Ever the Same plays for ten minutes.
"Thanks. Okay, this is Broots and a lovely bottle of Jack Daniels - "
"And Cam and Jeffrey! And Tasha, Selene, Monty, Jordy, Co-"
"You can't keep them. They belong to the pirate. Close your mouth. Where was I? Right. Walter suggets that Blair go do interviews and warns Steerpike away from wax. Ow. Pippi has a videocamera. I never want to see that video."
"I do!"
" Blair is still very happy to be a girl. Walter is awesome and ignores the camera. Shawn wants to change his name to Shauna and is suprised that Blair is embracing life as a girl. You and me, man, you and me."
"Your roommate is making you sound sane."
"Shup and pass me a glass. You all are way too sociable. Seely is watching the oddly appropriate Twelfth Night. Zero has a fnished movie. Seely complains about his lack of a bra to Evie. Billy thinks that ... breasts are akward. And that is why I have alcohol with me. Evie has a sign that says "Please disuccs breasts with me" on her back. ... ... ... And uh, Sokka talks about the missing Katara. Billy plays a fun game called "Figure out who's who". Sounds fun."
"I hope that was sarcasm, looser."
"La la la can't hear you! Sokka thinks Seely is boring. Someone who goes to Fandom is boring? Shut up, Cam. Dick and Seely are in fact guys. Trapped in girls bodies. Conner and his soccer ball - not dirty - bounce in. Really, not dirty. And if it is? Don't tell me. Evie and Dean discuss Dean's breasts. Seely and Dean discuss ... experiments."
"I just go the prettiest visual...."
"... ... ... ... "
"So Broots is now sitting here, doing his impression of a fish and going through a bottle of Jack, so I'll take over for a spell. Hmmm...OMG this is boring. Some girl named Nova is there, and so are Tori, Angela, Naomi, and hey-I-like-to-dress-like-a-hooker Parker."
*gurgle*
"Broots just made a funny noise, and his eyes are about to pop out. It's awesome. Hey, get away. I'm not giving you the microphone, you're ... not drunk enough! Jake is okay with being a girl. Jude is both a dude and a girl at the same time. Eeeew. Demyx offers to take Valentine bra shopping. Make sure the straps aren't plastic. Don't ask, but it hurt. ... Broots? You okay?"
"...No."
"Okay then! Jim doesn't notice he's a girl. Awesome! Demyx also has no problems being a girl. Lucas and Greg are flaily girls. Your school rocks so so much. Nova ponders clothing. Wait...didn't you say Nova is a girl? Then whey did she turn into a girl? Whatever. Sam W shrieks like a girl. HEY! Dawn is very amused. As she should be. Dean and Alec go straight to the lesbian sex. ... Here, read a few."
"Guh. I like my er...equipment. I'm glad I still have it. Ranma who is still a boy wtfs at the twins. Seely is topless and also a shrieker. ... School was closed down for orgy today, got it."
"Tomorrow? I am robbing a bank, getting arrested by the fed's, and getting sent to your school. Jack has some Dean and Alec sort of fun with Sam, no gender specified. Marty is a girl. This has happened before?"
"Not s'far as I know. Go sit on squirrel with corner. I'm doing radio. You don't even go to Fandom. Um...you read this already...that's coming up later...here. Chris eloquently summarizes everything with a well placed "Huh?" Dick informs Annette that he knew he'd be hot. Diiiiiirty. Teddy tells Chad to stop starring at his own breasts. Diiiiirty. John and Aeryn are diiiiirty. ... I should add that John is a boy. Marie and Jamie are John and Aeryn."
"...What?"
"Shhh, the voices are talking. Stark is a cussing girl. Conner is happy he can play soccer. Anders is a boy. He and Bridge are diiiirty. John Connor is also diiiirty, only without company. Nadia wonders why Walter is a girl. Then they get diiiirty. Pippi wonders the same thing. Tyler and Alec get diiiirty."
"Okay, put the microphone down, stop saying diiiirty, and give me the notes. For the record? Only half the people in the above list actually had sex. The freaks freaky roommate is cool with being a girl. Because girls rule. Peter Petrelli comes to talk to Sam W, who I'm nicknaming Saw, and is all wtfy at him being a girl. Peter isn't a boy. Oh! Sorry! He is! Thanks Jeffrey! Alec thinks Saw is hot. And then they make out. Sokka feels himself up. Phoebe is happy that Bel still has his boy parts. Blair comes to see what gender Bel is and then they make out. Broots?"
"Gunh."
"Okay then! Anders tells Bel and Phoebe to stop having sex. You're mean! Hamlet worries about bras. Sakurazaki makes out with AI. Billy makes out with Schrodinger, who doesn't notice his partner is a girl. Ray is a boy. Molly comes by and they make out. I'm bored so I'm handing the mike back to boring boy and his new best friend. Come on Jeffrey, let's see what he has in his bookshelf."
"I have a mike. I have a squirrel. I have notes. I paid sixties dollars to get all this."
"One-hundred and twenty, you're going to need to pay the fare back. Stop doing that to your head, we're only half way done."
"We? Jude calms down Rikku. Awwwwww, how cute. Parker helps Jack with his/her/whatever's hair."
"And then they make out!"
"...I'm going to go gray before I'm 20. Irulan wasn't expecting Jack to turn into a girl. Summer is a good girlfriend and lets Chris borrow her clothes. Marie builds a bridge which then hits Anders. Bad Marie. Z is suprised to see that Bridge is a girl. ... Oh. Never mind. Stop rolling your eyes! Dick and Annette have a girls' night in. Jim and Lana come out of the brain. Stark is a peach. Hey!"
"Come on, I wanna do some more!"
"NO! OW! Hey! Let go! Ow!"
"What is going on in here?"
"Um..."
"JC? Why is your room filled with squirrels?"
"Can we keep one Mom, can we, please, aren't they cute? This one is named Jeffrey!"
"JC? You didn't answer me. Have you been drinking?"
"Uuuuh..."
"I'm helping little Jacky with a school project Mom, he's just in a bit of shock."
"... Don't kill each other. And I don't want to see a single squirrel tomorrow."
"Uuuuh..."
"No need to thank me, dweeb!
Town. Which is cool.
" Jude opens Luke's Dinner. OMG how is this news? It's boooooring. Rikku is startled to discover that her boyfriend is actually a girl. There is discussion of hitting Ranma. Cafe Fina has more chorus girls than usual. Moist keeps his gender and his mail. Oh hey, that's kinda funny. ... I'm not sure which part startles Turtle more: Teddy's ability to shapeshift or his new gender. Shouldn't one help out with the other? I'm confused on the pronouns here. ... HEY! Someone, slap Byron! Deadpool spears his mentorees!"
"Gimme!"
"Hey!"
"You're not doing it right! Let me. Rikku boggles her mentor's new asses. That's totally what I would be doing. So does Setsuna. Deadpool wants to know why Tyler is a blonde girl. Because they're hot. Arashi and Deadpool make out. Also, Deadpool slept with Yuki and a nun. Deadpool is a whore. Peter Parker checks out Deadpool's nice pert breasts. Tex doesn't believe that Deadpool hasn't done diiiiiirty things. Nor do I."
"Are all guys perverts or did I just get lucky?"
"Girls are pretty. The twins flaunt their bodies. Lucifer hangs in the park. So does Jake. The female version of my roommate, but not my actual roommate who is a girl, have a very confusing conversation about which one of them is a she and which one is a he. Lucifer and notroomieBlair have a confusing conversation. Anything that has Blaaaaair in it is confusing. Lucifer prefers being a girl to being a kid. Jake and Krycek are sweet until they figure out who they are. Then they make out. Lucifer teases Dr. Wilson about who he is. A doctor? What's wrong with being a doctor? Or about being a girl? I'm sure he's a hot girl. It's like the rule of the school. Everyone is hot. Except me, but at least I don't get beat up on a regural basis anymore."
"Come on Sophocles, hand over the mike before you tell your classmates about the time you go so scared of a goose that you ran up a tree. Oh wait, I just did. Move it! Ellen and Dr. Wilson meet for the first time as adults. Last time? They were chipmunks. Lucifer tells Chrono that she's hot. Then they make out. Progressive Numbers, Inc. is open. Twenty says the dork works there."
"Donut."
"Moron. Lana opens the bookstore. Yawn. Chick with Tools is in. Xander and Bridge boggle at each other before making out. Xander complains about the eyepatch to Dawn. Mel asks Xander for advice on looking for Katara. Check under the couch. Rosette thinks Chrono is possessed. .... Freak. Deadpool comes to church to announce that he has boobs. You know, I find myself agreeding with drunk moron over there again. He is a whore."
"Ha! Gimme! Yay! Wilson and Phale have pizzzzza for their mentorees. My mentor is the coolestest! And Blair! Is awesome! So's Not-Blair Blair! And, and, and ... Tori, and Phoebe, and a Lana. Pippi is a giiiiirl. So is River, Mac-who-is-anti-PC-but-cool-otherwise, Dick-who-no-longer-has-one, and Annette."
"Things I have discovered tonight: I love squirrels. My brother has moments of awesomeness. They're few and far between, like this? Is the first one ever. But they do occur."
"..."
"And his face turns a very funny color! Marie opens the Photo Hut. Leo stops by and then they make out. Jude catches her up on the latest crazyness. And they make out. Jude is jealous of Leo's equipment. And they make out. ... Pretty. Except I'm imagining Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp and yummmm. OW! Don't hit girls!"
"OW! Don't hit me! Rose demands to know who Dr. Orpheus is. I already had this conversation with myself. Anakin is scaaaaary and sulking. Luke checks up on Anakin. Rory takes photos and discusses Lukey's hair. Anakin tells Logan that Rory is making fun of him. I like my equipment. I really, really like it."
"I didn't need to know that, like, ever."
" Chuck runs screaming through the house like a girl because he is a girl. Yomiko re-anacts the flood. Jarod who I totally don't know, really, and Sakura come to help. Hades's hair goes out."
"That's so weird, freak. Why are you laughing?"
" Ares likes being a hot girl. Yuki wakes up in a room full of girls and they talk about boobs. Diiiiirty. Claaaaaark is back. Xaaaaander sends out email. ... Diiiirty. Else where in town, Alanna doesn't show, so Dr. Troy does. Show. With his bits in tact. I quit visits the sick kids. Billy comes to see Ami. Doggie is Santa Claus!!!! I wanna new laptop!!!! What?"
"Sandra? Promise that you'll send me a tape."
*chitter chitter*
"I'll say that's a yes."
"Hey, get out of sock drawer! There's a squirrel in my sock drawer! Bad squirrel!"
"Oh this is beautfiul. Phoebe tries to make mai tais out of rainwater. WTF? Bel, who is totally allowed to have sex, is a body-gaurd. Lucifer makes GOB Phoebe's magical slave boy. ... Lucifer? I'm sure my adress is listed in Broots's record somewhere. Byron and Rose talk weather. Booooring. Neil puddlejumps. Fun! Yondaime and Deadpool talk drunken mass destruction. And...I'm done?! Woe! That was fuuuun! Moron! Get over here and say good-night!"
"There was a squirrel trying to eat my sock."
"That's nice. So Jeffrey....how can I convince you to stay here?"
*chitter chitter*
"I can provide food, money, emberassing stories about moron's childhood..."
*chitter chitter*
"OMG you're so cute! The squirrel's are disassembling the radio equipment! That is so awesome! Oh, I have to get off now. By Fandom! This was Cam, the cool Broots sibling! And Jeffrey, the awesome squirrel."
"Broots. The guy who shelled out 120 dollars to have squirrels invade his house and got humilated by his sister. At least I still have all the parts I was born with."
"Night!"
"Night."
((Ooc: Sorry for the lateness!))