Fandom Radio, September 9
Hello, Fandom! This is Willow Rosenberg bringing you all the news you want to hear about the events and happenings of the day! Of course these are the news and events as reported by shrubs and squirrels who may or may not know you personally, so I make no guarantees about how much you want to hear this news, but c'mon! Squirrels with little fedoras that say 'Press' on them and teeny tiny notepads! How is that not fascinating no matter what they wrote down on them? Frankly, I'm amazed they even know how to spell.
Anyway...
School, aka The Best Place On Earth EVER!
Today is Saturday which means no classes for us. I'll pause so we can all have a moment of silence and regret. Still, the school part of school was open. The Doctor got visited by Ellie Arroway, who I hope understands that he's not that kind of doctor because boy would it be embarassing if she immediately started putting on one of those paper gowns.
The office posted the list of naughty people plus Naomi, which would be an excellent name for a band, assuming somebody in the band was named Naomi and everybody else had a problem behaving themselves. But as you might guess, I mean Detention, which today had Teddy Altman, John Connor, Hikaru Hitachiin, Kaoru Hitachiin, Jude Lizowski, Jamie Madrox, Setsuna Sakurazaki, Ranma Saotome, River Tam, Naomi Wildman, Peter who is not only perfect but English as well, and Cops-A-Feely Booth. Or, as my notes call him, "Mr. Gone in Way, Way Less Than 60 Seconds."
I don't have any notes about what happened in Detention, so I'm just going to say that it was 8 straight hours of kicking Seely right in the crotch. And if it wasn't? Whoever's running Detention next week is totally free to steal that idea.
Dorms: Where We Can Live and Do Homework!
This morning outside the dorms Ed Eleric made with the working out. He got to meet Billy - Hi, Billy! and Pip came by to spar and Ed got all sensitive about his lack of height. If it helps, Ed? Pip totally wears lifts in his shoes. No, wait, I'm thinking of Tom Cruise. Nevermind.
Afternoon out-of-dorms activity found Teddy and Setsuna cleaning up toilet paper... which I am so hoping wasn't used. Seriously, if it was? Lie to me if you have to. Ew. Though thanks to the both of them for taking one for the team.
Inside the dorms Jack Harkness absconded with the Pantsless Friday sign and I so want to shake the hand of whatever reporter, squirrel or otherwise, used 'abscond' in a sentence because I love you and your vocabulary.
Lana was all cheerful today and made breakfast in the third floor common room. I'm told she confronted Blair about being overprotective and I'm going to hope it wasn't with the use of thrown bacon because that's just not Kosher.
Anyway, Blair was all Cutey McSmitten about his upcoming date with River and Jim and Lana were all large with the twitterpated and okay now I'm seeing why Blair was being overprotective because Jim? If you hurt Lana I will rip out your spleen and feed it to goats. Just sayin'.
Jim's apparently a mime, though since he's all waving and making faces at Blair and Joxer and it doesn't say if he was walking against the wind or trapped in a box but... mimes? Really, Lana? Hookay. I'll support you no matter what your sexual preference.
Phoebe stops by to say hi to Lana and Blair tells her about his date with River and Bel tells her that he's got a date with Jerky McBadTouch to watch... okay that can't be right. Clearly that word's supposed to be 'prom' and if it's not I don't want to know!
In far less gross and hi, breakfast, nice to see you again, news, Bel's all pouty because there's no meat being offered - guess that answers my bacon question and Blair informs Bel that cigarettes do not actually have vitamin C and candy in them no matter what Big Tobacco says. Joxer takes a neither pro nor con stance on ravishing and vows to do two herioc deeds before breakfast which is very nice of him because honestly? Sometimes getting out of bed without coffee directly under my nose is about as heroic an effort I can make when the sun comes up.
Walter is pleased about the happiness of others and talks about class - thank GOD someone around here has their piorities in place. Lana meets Schrodinger and promptly wins triple word scores in Scrabble for the rest of her life. Billy eats fruit and is now allowed to be smug about the amount of fiber in his diet compared to the rest of us. Lana and Lavender are both alliterative and giggly. Lavender and Billy may or may not go to the beach which one would think is the given option pretty much at any moment in time, and Jim apparently makes with the awkward around Evie but Blair's much nicer to her and Lana offers food and ice cream which I think qualifies her as an honorary Jew.
As the sun goes down over the hallowed Fandom halls, the third floor common room once again is the place to be because... I dunno. Maybe the others were being fumigated? Do we even want to know what would need to be exterminated in this school? Well, besides Seely.
Anyway, apparently Carmela is changing channels by talking to the TV, and I hope she was being polite about it because the last thing we want is a TV revolution on our hands. She then tells Angela about Speech and - wait? Do we have a Speech class? Was it today? If there was an officially recognized and graded lesson happening today and nobody told me I am so not giving any of you cookies ever again! Six days of school, people! Why would you torment me by denying that??
Hookay. I'm okay. Back to the reporting.
Conner thinks Carmela sounds like him which implies that Carmela really has a deep voice and if that's the case maybe she should talk to Blair about Big Tobacco like Bel did. Carmela tells Conner that she's an anime girl which for all I know in this school is quite literal. Somebody let me know if she blinks with big chibi eyes, would you? Summer meets Conner which could again be literal but since Angela mistakes her for an old student I'm going to guess this is a girl and not the personification of the season we all just lived through.
Carmela torments me by explaining Speech to Summer and Rory asks Carmela about the channel-changing thing which results in... um. We're going to call that "prom" too. No word on if Bel and Seely were hovering just in case.
Rory and Conner catch up, as do Rory and Summer. Marty is all Roger Ebert about the TV choices - I guess some guys really like prom and others prefer films of, um, different soundtrack and clothing choices, and he pounces on Angela like a cute little kitty while Parker also knows something about this Speech class yet cruelly does not tell me.
Sigh.
Elsewhere in the dorms, Setsuna is all woeful about Detention - aw, why? It's really fun kicking Seely in the crotch. Everyone should try it. The twins are similarly pouty. And, I assume, glad that there aren't any other twins in Fandom because otherwise we'd have to call them some twins and not the twins, and then maybe there'd be a battle to the death, possibly with the Dance teacher throwing down for the "The" status and really the whole thing makes me glad that I'm not in charge of admissions here. I couldn't take that kind of pressure.
Lavender wakes up Grumpy. I have no idea what she's got against dwarves, though I am told they are very upsetting. Matilda's all scoldy at the twins and also amused by them. Possibly because she's imagining them fighting the Dance teacher while using feather dusters. What? It's Fandom. It wouldn't be the strangest thing that went on here.
Aeryn is wary because John has been thinking. It doesn't say which John so maybe we should shake them all down and find out which one of them has been making with the Descartes today. You can't be too careful.
In the awesomeness that is 509 - which is way cooler than 238 and I don't know why anybody would ever be confused by that - I send email, Parker brings Marie pretty pressies, and Marie and I have roomie bonding time.
In more news of me - and I swear I'm not usually this self-centered but these are the notes they gave me - I got to meet Evie and Peter and I... um. Did homework. In separate rooms. Which is how we'll be sleeping tonight because we certainly wouldn't do it any other way and does anyone know if Susan listens to radio?
Um. Ahem. You know what's fascinating? Togusa playing with technology. Let's all focus on that and maybe use it to help forget all the things I've said in the last five minutes. Mmm... technology.
Amnesia in place? Good. Let's talk about relationships other than mine. Not that I was ever talking about my relationship. Hi, Susan! Ahem. Jim and Lana have NRE - look it up, people, I swear I'll make you all crack a book on a Saturday if it kills me. Joxer and Kaylee are snuggly, Walter takes care of Nadia, Hermionie stays in and reads - and if you don't think that's true love you people really do not understand the beauty of the written word - non-Wincester Dean tells Evie about his Rory-at-home which, okay, would be like the best company ever. Rory-at-home! For all your school-loving and coffee needs! Order one today! Phoebe catches Cally up on the River-related events of the day - which I'll get to in a sec. And Bel and Seely have a date which proves that even the best half-demons sometimes have nights of being deaf, dumb, blind, totally drunk, and living life like they're on Opposite Planet.
Oh, and Sam and Buffy broke up.
...
WHAT? Oh God. Um. Would somebody mind checking Sam for leather pants for me? As a favor? Just... just in case, okay? Buffy? If you're listening? There's no reason why I'm asking that. Silly Willow, la la la!!
Town! Where.... Topics Are Way Less Awkward! Theoretically!
Okay, so Aziraphale and my Values teacher watch a movie and the notes don't specify if it's the same type of movie as Bel and Seely were watching but I'm going to pretend that it wasn't because Oh my God this is my Values teacher! I'm going to similarly picture that the two of them were sitting on separate couches with their hands in highly visible, above the waist positions. This is my happy place and I am content here.
In news that does not involve nudity... at least so far as I'm aware, Pippi buys party supplies at All & Sundries. She also talks to Walter about his fight with Pete - go Walter! Miss Frizzle's lizard watches Walter throw things around and, you know? After the note-taking squirrels stalking lizards are just not that strange to me. Though Stalking Lizards would also be an excellent name for a band.
Let's see, elsewhere around town, Clark went fishing and Cally helped fix Miss Frizzle's bus. My notes here also ask me to specify, quote, "Not dirty" and "That's BUS not BOX, please to be rereading the note about this not being dirty."
Over at Serenity Cove there was beach blanket bingo a party of Pippi proportions. Nadia and Pippi talk about Pip. Walter asks Nadia about the band meeting. Wow, there really is a band named Stalking Lizards? That's so cool! I bet their fist hit single is something like "We're Not Actually Lizards, Please Don't Make Us Wear Costumes Because They're Very Uncomfortable." Only possibly with more rhythm and maybe a rhyme scheme of some kind. This is why I don't go into music. Anyway, Nadia and Lavender talk about boys and the weather. Billy waves at Nadia and my notes say Anders asks about the waves and really, Anders, Billy has enough to deal with as a newbie without the other students judging his methods of saying hi to people. Cut the poor kid some slack.
Pippi and Walter talk about his birthday hunt, Pippi tells Lavendar that Rita Skeeter used to go here which - shyeah, who doesn't know that by now? Who's Rita Skeeter?? And Chad makes with the hellos. No word on if Anders was judging him while it happened.
Over in the place that's losing money hand over fist because it's lacking in a dance floor, Ellie tells Greg not to grow up to be a man. No word on if she offered to do the surgery to make that happen, or if she knows how to make Isabel a lesbian. Silent Bob, who is there without Jay - and you know, of the letters I always thought 'e' was the silent one - anyway, he buys Ellie a drink. I assume using hand gestures. Possibly signs. Could be both. It's anything can happen night at Caritas!
Janice thinks Greg is too young to be a bartender. In other news of the flamingly obvious, my name is Willow, water is wet, and Becky and Mr. GOB have problems expressing how much they love one another.
Principal Washburn and John Winchester talk about his sons. Oh my God! Sam! Dean! Start sucking up to your dad right now!! It is never good when the principal has to bring parents into the equation! Especially if they think it's a requirement that alcohol be involved!
Let's see, in other news Greg meets Maureen, Chad stops by, and Togusa pauses in his technology worshipping long enough to stare at the band. Also? Nobody danced and that is a crime against nature!
In entertainment news, the movie theater was showing Dante's Peak. Evie buys a ticket and gives Jaye a tip which is an excellent way of assuring you won't get the nachos that were made three weeks ago even though they swear they were fresh that morning. Cam and Kawalsky talk about bad movies, Peter and Zero ask what the movie is about. Offhand? I'm guessing a peak that somehow relates to someone named Dante. Call me crazy extrapolating girl but I bet I'm right. Jamie and Marie get tickets and OMG I hope you guys have a fun date! Please don't either of you go into a coma! My little brother sees his first movie and munches his first movie snacks - I hope you liked it, Billy! Kawaksky invites Jaye to snark at him, because apparently being alive, breathing, and standing in front of Jaye isn't invitation enough. Peter and Zero would seem to agree with me.
The Perk is visited by Jake and Krycek and Matilda and the twins go to Ching Tai where, quote, "no one is stood up" which on the one hand, yay! But on the other has me having mental images of her and the twins that almost, but not quite, make Bel and Seely look like their night was filled with nothing but wholesome goodness.
The daytime clinic shift was quiet for Alanna but at night it was a bruise-a-palooza with Pippi, Pip, Blair, Molly, River, and my poor sweetie stopping by. Oh, Susan? If you're listening? Peter's okay, I swear. Also he'd better not be getting out of bed right now if he knows what's good for him!
So about the clinic chaos, see, River? Was apparently in a weird mood. Possibly possessed by demons, possibly under a spell, possibly some of column A, some of column B, and a little of column C which on my spreadsheet is titled "Fandom, and Welcome To It." Kaylee, Billy, Blair, Nadia and Pippi show up, and River starts acting, quote "One dog and a hat short of a Monopoly game, only if Monopoly games involved breaking the bones of the other players when they land on property that you had your heart set on." Luckily Peter and Walter and everybody else try to stop her, unfortunately some of them doing so via putting their body parts in the way of River's fists and feet, and it's up to Molly to save the day! Or at least make that crucial tackle which I'm sure would lead into more appropriate sports metaphors if I understood sports better than I do. Is the phrase 'home run' appropriate here? Maybe Anders could tell me.
And that's all the news that I'm aware of! I hope everybody's doing okay and if anyone is wondering? I am so going back to my room right now. Nowhere else. I swear.
Night!
Anyway...
School, aka The Best Place On Earth EVER!
Today is Saturday which means no classes for us. I'll pause so we can all have a moment of silence and regret. Still, the school part of school was open. The Doctor got visited by Ellie Arroway, who I hope understands that he's not that kind of doctor because boy would it be embarassing if she immediately started putting on one of those paper gowns.
The office posted the list of naughty people plus Naomi, which would be an excellent name for a band, assuming somebody in the band was named Naomi and everybody else had a problem behaving themselves. But as you might guess, I mean Detention, which today had Teddy Altman, John Connor, Hikaru Hitachiin, Kaoru Hitachiin, Jude Lizowski, Jamie Madrox, Setsuna Sakurazaki, Ranma Saotome, River Tam, Naomi Wildman, Peter who is not only perfect but English as well, and Cops-A-Feely Booth. Or, as my notes call him, "Mr. Gone in Way, Way Less Than 60 Seconds."
I don't have any notes about what happened in Detention, so I'm just going to say that it was 8 straight hours of kicking Seely right in the crotch. And if it wasn't? Whoever's running Detention next week is totally free to steal that idea.
Dorms: Where We Can Live and Do Homework!
This morning outside the dorms Ed Eleric made with the working out. He got to meet Billy - Hi, Billy! and Pip came by to spar and Ed got all sensitive about his lack of height. If it helps, Ed? Pip totally wears lifts in his shoes. No, wait, I'm thinking of Tom Cruise. Nevermind.
Afternoon out-of-dorms activity found Teddy and Setsuna cleaning up toilet paper... which I am so hoping wasn't used. Seriously, if it was? Lie to me if you have to. Ew. Though thanks to the both of them for taking one for the team.
Inside the dorms Jack Harkness absconded with the Pantsless Friday sign and I so want to shake the hand of whatever reporter, squirrel or otherwise, used 'abscond' in a sentence because I love you and your vocabulary.
Lana was all cheerful today and made breakfast in the third floor common room. I'm told she confronted Blair about being overprotective and I'm going to hope it wasn't with the use of thrown bacon because that's just not Kosher.
Anyway, Blair was all Cutey McSmitten about his upcoming date with River and Jim and Lana were all large with the twitterpated and okay now I'm seeing why Blair was being overprotective because Jim? If you hurt Lana I will rip out your spleen and feed it to goats. Just sayin'.
Jim's apparently a mime, though since he's all waving and making faces at Blair and Joxer and it doesn't say if he was walking against the wind or trapped in a box but... mimes? Really, Lana? Hookay. I'll support you no matter what your sexual preference.
Phoebe stops by to say hi to Lana and Blair tells her about his date with River and Bel tells her that he's got a date with Jerky McBadTouch to watch... okay that can't be right. Clearly that word's supposed to be 'prom' and if it's not I don't want to know!
In far less gross and hi, breakfast, nice to see you again, news, Bel's all pouty because there's no meat being offered - guess that answers my bacon question and Blair informs Bel that cigarettes do not actually have vitamin C and candy in them no matter what Big Tobacco says. Joxer takes a neither pro nor con stance on ravishing and vows to do two herioc deeds before breakfast which is very nice of him because honestly? Sometimes getting out of bed without coffee directly under my nose is about as heroic an effort I can make when the sun comes up.
Walter is pleased about the happiness of others and talks about class - thank GOD someone around here has their piorities in place. Lana meets Schrodinger and promptly wins triple word scores in Scrabble for the rest of her life. Billy eats fruit and is now allowed to be smug about the amount of fiber in his diet compared to the rest of us. Lana and Lavender are both alliterative and giggly. Lavender and Billy may or may not go to the beach which one would think is the given option pretty much at any moment in time, and Jim apparently makes with the awkward around Evie but Blair's much nicer to her and Lana offers food and ice cream which I think qualifies her as an honorary Jew.
As the sun goes down over the hallowed Fandom halls, the third floor common room once again is the place to be because... I dunno. Maybe the others were being fumigated? Do we even want to know what would need to be exterminated in this school? Well, besides Seely.
Anyway, apparently Carmela is changing channels by talking to the TV, and I hope she was being polite about it because the last thing we want is a TV revolution on our hands. She then tells Angela about Speech and - wait? Do we have a Speech class? Was it today? If there was an officially recognized and graded lesson happening today and nobody told me I am so not giving any of you cookies ever again! Six days of school, people! Why would you torment me by denying that??
Hookay. I'm okay. Back to the reporting.
Conner thinks Carmela sounds like him which implies that Carmela really has a deep voice and if that's the case maybe she should talk to Blair about Big Tobacco like Bel did. Carmela tells Conner that she's an anime girl which for all I know in this school is quite literal. Somebody let me know if she blinks with big chibi eyes, would you? Summer meets Conner which could again be literal but since Angela mistakes her for an old student I'm going to guess this is a girl and not the personification of the season we all just lived through.
Carmela torments me by explaining Speech to Summer and Rory asks Carmela about the channel-changing thing which results in... um. We're going to call that "prom" too. No word on if Bel and Seely were hovering just in case.
Rory and Conner catch up, as do Rory and Summer. Marty is all Roger Ebert about the TV choices - I guess some guys really like prom and others prefer films of, um, different soundtrack and clothing choices, and he pounces on Angela like a cute little kitty while Parker also knows something about this Speech class yet cruelly does not tell me.
Sigh.
Elsewhere in the dorms, Setsuna is all woeful about Detention - aw, why? It's really fun kicking Seely in the crotch. Everyone should try it. The twins are similarly pouty. And, I assume, glad that there aren't any other twins in Fandom because otherwise we'd have to call them some twins and not the twins, and then maybe there'd be a battle to the death, possibly with the Dance teacher throwing down for the "The" status and really the whole thing makes me glad that I'm not in charge of admissions here. I couldn't take that kind of pressure.
Lavender wakes up Grumpy. I have no idea what she's got against dwarves, though I am told they are very upsetting. Matilda's all scoldy at the twins and also amused by them. Possibly because she's imagining them fighting the Dance teacher while using feather dusters. What? It's Fandom. It wouldn't be the strangest thing that went on here.
Aeryn is wary because John has been thinking. It doesn't say which John so maybe we should shake them all down and find out which one of them has been making with the Descartes today. You can't be too careful.
In the awesomeness that is 509 - which is way cooler than 238 and I don't know why anybody would ever be confused by that - I send email, Parker brings Marie pretty pressies, and Marie and I have roomie bonding time.
In more news of me - and I swear I'm not usually this self-centered but these are the notes they gave me - I got to meet Evie and Peter and I... um. Did homework. In separate rooms. Which is how we'll be sleeping tonight because we certainly wouldn't do it any other way and does anyone know if Susan listens to radio?
Um. Ahem. You know what's fascinating? Togusa playing with technology. Let's all focus on that and maybe use it to help forget all the things I've said in the last five minutes. Mmm... technology.
Amnesia in place? Good. Let's talk about relationships other than mine. Not that I was ever talking about my relationship. Hi, Susan! Ahem. Jim and Lana have NRE - look it up, people, I swear I'll make you all crack a book on a Saturday if it kills me. Joxer and Kaylee are snuggly, Walter takes care of Nadia, Hermionie stays in and reads - and if you don't think that's true love you people really do not understand the beauty of the written word - non-Wincester Dean tells Evie about his Rory-at-home which, okay, would be like the best company ever. Rory-at-home! For all your school-loving and coffee needs! Order one today! Phoebe catches Cally up on the River-related events of the day - which I'll get to in a sec. And Bel and Seely have a date which proves that even the best half-demons sometimes have nights of being deaf, dumb, blind, totally drunk, and living life like they're on Opposite Planet.
Oh, and Sam and Buffy broke up.
...
WHAT? Oh God. Um. Would somebody mind checking Sam for leather pants for me? As a favor? Just... just in case, okay? Buffy? If you're listening? There's no reason why I'm asking that. Silly Willow, la la la!!
Town! Where.... Topics Are Way Less Awkward! Theoretically!
Okay, so Aziraphale and my Values teacher watch a movie and the notes don't specify if it's the same type of movie as Bel and Seely were watching but I'm going to pretend that it wasn't because Oh my God this is my Values teacher! I'm going to similarly picture that the two of them were sitting on separate couches with their hands in highly visible, above the waist positions. This is my happy place and I am content here.
In news that does not involve nudity... at least so far as I'm aware, Pippi buys party supplies at All & Sundries. She also talks to Walter about his fight with Pete - go Walter! Miss Frizzle's lizard watches Walter throw things around and, you know? After the note-taking squirrels stalking lizards are just not that strange to me. Though Stalking Lizards would also be an excellent name for a band.
Let's see, elsewhere around town, Clark went fishing and Cally helped fix Miss Frizzle's bus. My notes here also ask me to specify, quote, "Not dirty" and "That's BUS not BOX, please to be rereading the note about this not being dirty."
Over at Serenity Cove there was beach blanket bingo a party of Pippi proportions. Nadia and Pippi talk about Pip. Walter asks Nadia about the band meeting. Wow, there really is a band named Stalking Lizards? That's so cool! I bet their fist hit single is something like "We're Not Actually Lizards, Please Don't Make Us Wear Costumes Because They're Very Uncomfortable." Only possibly with more rhythm and maybe a rhyme scheme of some kind. This is why I don't go into music. Anyway, Nadia and Lavender talk about boys and the weather. Billy waves at Nadia and my notes say Anders asks about the waves and really, Anders, Billy has enough to deal with as a newbie without the other students judging his methods of saying hi to people. Cut the poor kid some slack.
Pippi and Walter talk about his birthday hunt, Pippi tells Lavendar that Rita Skeeter used to go here which - shyeah, who doesn't know that by now? Who's Rita Skeeter?? And Chad makes with the hellos. No word on if Anders was judging him while it happened.
Over in the place that's losing money hand over fist because it's lacking in a dance floor, Ellie tells Greg not to grow up to be a man. No word on if she offered to do the surgery to make that happen, or if she knows how to make Isabel a lesbian. Silent Bob, who is there without Jay - and you know, of the letters I always thought 'e' was the silent one - anyway, he buys Ellie a drink. I assume using hand gestures. Possibly signs. Could be both. It's anything can happen night at Caritas!
Janice thinks Greg is too young to be a bartender. In other news of the flamingly obvious, my name is Willow, water is wet, and Becky and Mr. GOB have problems expressing how much they love one another.
Principal Washburn and John Winchester talk about his sons. Oh my God! Sam! Dean! Start sucking up to your dad right now!! It is never good when the principal has to bring parents into the equation! Especially if they think it's a requirement that alcohol be involved!
Let's see, in other news Greg meets Maureen, Chad stops by, and Togusa pauses in his technology worshipping long enough to stare at the band. Also? Nobody danced and that is a crime against nature!
In entertainment news, the movie theater was showing Dante's Peak. Evie buys a ticket and gives Jaye a tip which is an excellent way of assuring you won't get the nachos that were made three weeks ago even though they swear they were fresh that morning. Cam and Kawalsky talk about bad movies, Peter and Zero ask what the movie is about. Offhand? I'm guessing a peak that somehow relates to someone named Dante. Call me crazy extrapolating girl but I bet I'm right. Jamie and Marie get tickets and OMG I hope you guys have a fun date! Please don't either of you go into a coma! My little brother sees his first movie and munches his first movie snacks - I hope you liked it, Billy! Kawaksky invites Jaye to snark at him, because apparently being alive, breathing, and standing in front of Jaye isn't invitation enough. Peter and Zero would seem to agree with me.
The Perk is visited by Jake and Krycek and Matilda and the twins go to Ching Tai where, quote, "no one is stood up" which on the one hand, yay! But on the other has me having mental images of her and the twins that almost, but not quite, make Bel and Seely look like their night was filled with nothing but wholesome goodness.
The daytime clinic shift was quiet for Alanna but at night it was a bruise-a-palooza with Pippi, Pip, Blair, Molly, River, and my poor sweetie stopping by. Oh, Susan? If you're listening? Peter's okay, I swear. Also he'd better not be getting out of bed right now if he knows what's good for him!
So about the clinic chaos, see, River? Was apparently in a weird mood. Possibly possessed by demons, possibly under a spell, possibly some of column A, some of column B, and a little of column C which on my spreadsheet is titled "Fandom, and Welcome To It." Kaylee, Billy, Blair, Nadia and Pippi show up, and River starts acting, quote "One dog and a hat short of a Monopoly game, only if Monopoly games involved breaking the bones of the other players when they land on property that you had your heart set on." Luckily Peter and Walter and everybody else try to stop her, unfortunately some of them doing so via putting their body parts in the way of River's fists and feet, and it's up to Molly to save the day! Or at least make that crucial tackle which I'm sure would lead into more appropriate sports metaphors if I understood sports better than I do. Is the phrase 'home run' appropriate here? Maybe Anders could tell me.
And that's all the news that I'm aware of! I hope everybody's doing okay and if anyone is wondering? I am so going back to my room right now. Nowhere else. I swear.
Night!