Fandom Radio, August 30
Dear Fandom, PLEASE TO BE SHUTTING UP NOW, KAY-THANKS.
For all the newbies out there, I'm Jaye, who you're not getting to leave radio no matter how hard you try. However, know that I kind of hate each and every one of you right now, just a little. Except Chad and Carmela, because they were cool and I don't see their names anywhere in my notes yet. Keep in mind I have EIGHT BILLION PAGES OF NOTES.
Edumacation
Oh, wait, no classes here. Do you know how freaking glad I am to finally be able to say that?
Living Conditions OMG PEOPLE STOP IT
Pip joined Ivanova on the roof while she waited for her ride, and Sak whose name I still can't pronounce and Billy both did some work in the salle. You know, all this time and I'm still not sure what a salle is. Since I don't think I need it for anything, I'm blissful in my ignorance.
See, newbies, the gym is where people think they're all hot and popular because they work out. They're not, though. Cameron worked out and was joined by Ray, who I just figured out could be Brian Austin Green in the TV movie. Long story, don't ask. Callisto told Cam about her time in the closet with the guy who wanted my phone number, not that I'm saying that publicly for a reason or anything, and then Cal almost dismembered Ray for being stupid. ...Can I get video? Tyler and Cameron decided to celebrate a day of the week... You ever have one of those oh-my-god-I-dated-him? moments? Yeah. Tyler sparred with Walter and told Ray about gremlin!Nadia. Now, kids, if you haven't heard about the gremlins before? You might want to wear layers to bed. They've been known to bite in your sleep and then you wake up all hallucinogenic. Also, their bites have been known to lead to amputation. Tyler told Cal to threaten Seely, so hey not-Angel, you might want to look out for that, and Cam and Cally discussed newbie initiation, which means newbies, don't believe a word Cam or Cally tell you. And Cally told Ray about Caprica. ...Okay, that's boring. For the purpose of this broadcast, Cally was a hamster. There, now it's better.
Then there was cheerleading practice. Alec and D'anna talked about newbies, and there was practicing, and yeah. Okay, moving on. Later on, Jamie tells Aeryn he put her in the clinic. *shuffles papers* Wow, that bit ended on a downer note. Moving on again.
Nadia cooked for everyone. And I mean everyone. Except me. New girl, next time I expect a delivery at my door when I can't get out there, okay? Thanks. Um, my notes say Nadia and John decide to feed each other if they become zombie animals. ....Feed each other what? John and Marty considered dressing up as monks. Okay, new kids, you should all know that John and Marty are both huge crackheads. John and Pippi talked classes, people met Summer, including Berthold. Fourth floor residents will probably get to know the guy who walks into rooms that aren't his, by the way. Marty apparently had no clue who he was, so oldbies, that goes for you, too. Joxer also tells John about having a female roommate. I so don't want to know. I'm not asking. And he brags to Summer. I want to either drink or headdesk right now. Unfortunately I left the alcohol in my room.
*thunk*
Ow. Better. Carmela met some people and learned about Nadia's former gremlinness and how the doorknobs are cherry-flavored. Huh. Can I make mine pineapple? Marty and Nadia caught up, Pip said Togusa's back, Pip and Pippi made sailing plans, Pete who is not a Pet-er, so let's keep that straight, propositioned Nadia, who I hope gave him the what for. Pippi and Nadia talked about Pip and classes, and Briar had a burrito.
BUT WAIT WE'RE NOT DONE YET. Because Fandom can't shut the hell up for more than four seconds! Zuko is learning how to bend lightning. Psh. I'm not impressed. He also wants to know how you can have chicken without pig. *long pause* Okay, he's weird. Nadia almost tasered Berthold. Um, new girl, might want to invest in a taser safety class or something before you go around with that thing. Z chatted with Nadia and Pete, Nadia fed Zero. Yeah, she's a kitten every now and then. Also, apparently poisonous. Chad seemed to like her, and met Nadia and Z. And then there is JD and Will and omg people I need to move on to talking about something else.
Phoebe started the morning with a vision. Next time try corn flakes instead. I'll give you that tip for free. Callisto came by Rory's room, as did Lyra, Alanna, Dean who isn't the Dean who's on my bad side right now but looks like Cute Sam. I shall call this one... Dam. Yes. Dam. It's namesquish, see? Shut up, I'm tired and you keep giving me more to report. D'anna sent E-mail, Xander packed and hey, that's not allowed, and Jude and Sak made up.
*long pause* Shut up.
Dawn hung on the roof, which brought her a Lyra and a Nadia.
Oh-kay, here's another chapter of notes. Marie decided to dye her hair in a common room. Sweetie, bathroom! Bel glared and talked to Zuko about fire, and if one of them had set the common room ablaze, everyone would have talked for ANOTHER HOUR BEFORE FLEEING. Bel and Billy have something to do with Snickerdoodles. I don't think either of them ended up being a Snickerdoodle not dirty. Bel also used Phoebe as a human shield. Huh. Well, everyone's got to serve a purpose? Also, I swear I didn't write this. Zuko met more people, English Peter and Marie talked about hair, Demyx talked to them both, Summer met Billy and Marie, and Dean who I think is actually Dam met some people and got confused for Sam. Yeah, that's gonna happen all year. Also, I think I have to date you, by the way. Walter explains why for Bel was singing, um, wtf, but CHLOE I WANT A TAPE, Blair is going to die, and apparently we have a Shawn. Lavender met Billy and Marie, and Seras stopped in and my notes say everyone met Billy. I'm okay with a blanket statement like that. It saves me more talking. Layla met people and I think Willow met Billy, too? The notes are kinda smudged. AS THEY ARE WHEN YOU'VE BEEN READING THEM FOR LIKE SIX HOURS NOW.
Out and About WHO TOLD THESE PEOPLE TO SPEAK TO EACH OTHER?
The Doctor chatted with Jesse and Jarod, and Jarod talks to Lorne about his class. LORNE! HI, LORNE! I will come get drunk at you this week if you are around! My favorite green guy ever also talks to El. Who... El? Okay, I can't call him that with a straight face. El will now be called '"The." And Pip talked to John Constantine... Holy crap, we have three Johns with the last name beginning with C? I hate this town. Okay, fine. John Crichton can go back to being Not-Crunch, John Connor is still John Connor, and John Constantine is now Connie. Deal.
The clinics were blissfully quiet. I want to be there right now.
Wilson and Phale reminisced about what they missed, to which I say um, kind of a lot. However, I'm not about to break it down for you. Marty hung at the Perk and met a few teachers, like Abby, and Lorelai, Elliot, and Aly and Professor Lyman who I can't call Josh for some reason and Yomiko. And then Abby and Elliot meet, and Abby and Aly, Aly and Elliot, and I feel like I'm calling roll at a sorority gathering.
Agatha headed out of town, Clark and Billy both stopped in at Empire Records, and Rosette hangs in the church. *long pause* Do you think you have to be Catholic to be a nun? Not that I'm asking for any reason or anything. Ellie sat out on the lawn and talked to Aziraphale and Jesse. Mary Poppins and Connie both stopped in at All and Sundries, Luna opened Wonka's, Clark went to Luke's, someone tell the townies to sit down and shut up like they did before... I think I'm nearing the glorious end. And yes, I am very glad to be having a break soon. Billy who I'm thinking might be a Jamie-like being as HE IS FREAKING EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME.
And apparently Fandom is full of psychos who take far too much joy in school shopping. You're all grounded. River went for the pens, Willow wanted highlighters and you people seriously are making me read this? Layla met Blair and helped Evie, English Peter was astounded by pens, and this is my hell. Blair and Pippi geek on pens, I vomit a little, and JD shoves pens up his nose. Lyra was overwhelmed. YEAH, I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT. There are more meetings and Luna is dreamy and Phoebe wants a purse or something and Evie is a klutz and Janet and Blair talked about bags and this was my revenge for having no classes to whine about now, huh?
...Oh my god, I finally finished. I hate you all more than I did when I first started this broadcast eight months ago.
For all the newbies out there, I'm Jaye, who you're not getting to leave radio no matter how hard you try. However, know that I kind of hate each and every one of you right now, just a little. Except Chad and Carmela, because they were cool and I don't see their names anywhere in my notes yet. Keep in mind I have EIGHT BILLION PAGES OF NOTES.
Edumacation
Oh, wait, no classes here. Do you know how freaking glad I am to finally be able to say that?
Living Conditions OMG PEOPLE STOP IT
Pip joined Ivanova on the roof while she waited for her ride, and Sak whose name I still can't pronounce and Billy both did some work in the salle. You know, all this time and I'm still not sure what a salle is. Since I don't think I need it for anything, I'm blissful in my ignorance.
See, newbies, the gym is where people think they're all hot and popular because they work out. They're not, though. Cameron worked out and was joined by Ray, who I just figured out could be Brian Austin Green in the TV movie. Long story, don't ask. Callisto told Cam about her time in the closet with the guy who wanted my phone number, not that I'm saying that publicly for a reason or anything, and then Cal almost dismembered Ray for being stupid. ...Can I get video? Tyler and Cameron decided to celebrate a day of the week... You ever have one of those oh-my-god-I-dated-him? moments? Yeah. Tyler sparred with Walter and told Ray about gremlin!Nadia. Now, kids, if you haven't heard about the gremlins before? You might want to wear layers to bed. They've been known to bite in your sleep and then you wake up all hallucinogenic. Also, their bites have been known to lead to amputation. Tyler told Cal to threaten Seely, so hey not-Angel, you might want to look out for that, and Cam and Cally discussed newbie initiation, which means newbies, don't believe a word Cam or Cally tell you. And Cally told Ray about Caprica. ...Okay, that's boring. For the purpose of this broadcast, Cally was a hamster. There, now it's better.
Then there was cheerleading practice. Alec and D'anna talked about newbies, and there was practicing, and yeah. Okay, moving on. Later on, Jamie tells Aeryn he put her in the clinic. *shuffles papers* Wow, that bit ended on a downer note. Moving on again.
Nadia cooked for everyone. And I mean everyone. Except me. New girl, next time I expect a delivery at my door when I can't get out there, okay? Thanks. Um, my notes say Nadia and John decide to feed each other if they become zombie animals. ....Feed each other what? John and Marty considered dressing up as monks. Okay, new kids, you should all know that John and Marty are both huge crackheads. John and Pippi talked classes, people met Summer, including Berthold. Fourth floor residents will probably get to know the guy who walks into rooms that aren't his, by the way. Marty apparently had no clue who he was, so oldbies, that goes for you, too. Joxer also tells John about having a female roommate. I so don't want to know. I'm not asking. And he brags to Summer. I want to either drink or headdesk right now. Unfortunately I left the alcohol in my room.
*thunk*
Ow. Better. Carmela met some people and learned about Nadia's former gremlinness and how the doorknobs are cherry-flavored. Huh. Can I make mine pineapple? Marty and Nadia caught up, Pip said Togusa's back, Pip and Pippi made sailing plans, Pete who is not a Pet-er, so let's keep that straight, propositioned Nadia, who I hope gave him the what for. Pippi and Nadia talked about Pip and classes, and Briar had a burrito.
BUT WAIT WE'RE NOT DONE YET. Because Fandom can't shut the hell up for more than four seconds! Zuko is learning how to bend lightning. Psh. I'm not impressed. He also wants to know how you can have chicken without pig. *long pause* Okay, he's weird. Nadia almost tasered Berthold. Um, new girl, might want to invest in a taser safety class or something before you go around with that thing. Z chatted with Nadia and Pete, Nadia fed Zero. Yeah, she's a kitten every now and then. Also, apparently poisonous. Chad seemed to like her, and met Nadia and Z. And then there is JD and Will and omg people I need to move on to talking about something else.
Phoebe started the morning with a vision. Next time try corn flakes instead. I'll give you that tip for free. Callisto came by Rory's room, as did Lyra, Alanna, Dean who isn't the Dean who's on my bad side right now but looks like Cute Sam. I shall call this one... Dam. Yes. Dam. It's namesquish, see? Shut up, I'm tired and you keep giving me more to report. D'anna sent E-mail, Xander packed and hey, that's not allowed, and Jude and Sak made up.
*long pause* Shut up.
Dawn hung on the roof, which brought her a Lyra and a Nadia.
Oh-kay, here's another chapter of notes. Marie decided to dye her hair in a common room. Sweetie, bathroom! Bel glared and talked to Zuko about fire, and if one of them had set the common room ablaze, everyone would have talked for ANOTHER HOUR BEFORE FLEEING. Bel and Billy have something to do with Snickerdoodles. I don't think either of them ended up being a Snickerdoodle not dirty. Bel also used Phoebe as a human shield. Huh. Well, everyone's got to serve a purpose? Also, I swear I didn't write this. Zuko met more people, English Peter and Marie talked about hair, Demyx talked to them both, Summer met Billy and Marie, and Dean who I think is actually Dam met some people and got confused for Sam. Yeah, that's gonna happen all year. Also, I think I have to date you, by the way. Walter explains why for Bel was singing, um, wtf, but CHLOE I WANT A TAPE, Blair is going to die, and apparently we have a Shawn. Lavender met Billy and Marie, and Seras stopped in and my notes say everyone met Billy. I'm okay with a blanket statement like that. It saves me more talking. Layla met people and I think Willow met Billy, too? The notes are kinda smudged. AS THEY ARE WHEN YOU'VE BEEN READING THEM FOR LIKE SIX HOURS NOW.
Out and About WHO TOLD THESE PEOPLE TO SPEAK TO EACH OTHER?
The Doctor chatted with Jesse and Jarod, and Jarod talks to Lorne about his class. LORNE! HI, LORNE! I will come get drunk at you this week if you are around! My favorite green guy ever also talks to El. Who... El? Okay, I can't call him that with a straight face. El will now be called '"The." And Pip talked to John Constantine... Holy crap, we have three Johns with the last name beginning with C? I hate this town. Okay, fine. John Crichton can go back to being Not-Crunch, John Connor is still John Connor, and John Constantine is now Connie. Deal.
The clinics were blissfully quiet. I want to be there right now.
Wilson and Phale reminisced about what they missed, to which I say um, kind of a lot. However, I'm not about to break it down for you. Marty hung at the Perk and met a few teachers, like Abby, and Lorelai, Elliot, and Aly and Professor Lyman who I can't call Josh for some reason and Yomiko. And then Abby and Elliot meet, and Abby and Aly, Aly and Elliot, and I feel like I'm calling roll at a sorority gathering.
Agatha headed out of town, Clark and Billy both stopped in at Empire Records, and Rosette hangs in the church. *long pause* Do you think you have to be Catholic to be a nun? Not that I'm asking for any reason or anything. Ellie sat out on the lawn and talked to Aziraphale and Jesse. Mary Poppins and Connie both stopped in at All and Sundries, Luna opened Wonka's, Clark went to Luke's, someone tell the townies to sit down and shut up like they did before... I think I'm nearing the glorious end. And yes, I am very glad to be having a break soon. Billy who I'm thinking might be a Jamie-like being as HE IS FREAKING EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME.
And apparently Fandom is full of psychos who take far too much joy in school shopping. You're all grounded. River went for the pens, Willow wanted highlighters and you people seriously are making me read this? Layla met Blair and helped Evie, English Peter was astounded by pens, and this is my hell. Blair and Pippi geek on pens, I vomit a little, and JD shoves pens up his nose. Lyra was overwhelmed. YEAH, I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT. There are more meetings and Luna is dreamy and Phoebe wants a purse or something and Evie is a klutz and Janet and Blair talked about bags and this was my revenge for having no classes to whine about now, huh?
...Oh my god, I finally finished. I hate you all more than I did when I first started this broadcast eight months ago.