Fandom Radio, Monday, August 28, 2006
*sound of chimes and a quartet of unnamed women*
W. A. R. T! Wart Radio! Fandom!
Greetings, my little vikings, vikingettes, and not-so-little-not-vikings! It is I! Artie! The strongest man . . . in the world, making my Fandom Radio debut to bring you all the news. Whether you like it, or not!
I have many pages of many notes about the goings on in Fandom and no idea where they have come from! We should be in for a fun broadcast.
Classes and School things. Ewwwwww.
Dean the Tick, who I have not met but am told is somewhat of a kindred spirit, made announcements this morning! Mr. Dean the Tick! I hope everything is pipe with you today! He told us all about the office staff, boooooooring, a locker numbered 3-2-7, which might be interesting, and a stable on the first floor of the dorms! So all your kings horses have a warm place to call home. Exciting!
He also told Nadia to report to see Vice Prince-a-pal Pierce. Ohhhh, someone is in trouble!
Speaking of that prince of a pal, Alanna and Professor Yondaime also stopped in to chat. You're a popular one, aren't you, Mr. Pierce!
Professor Yondaime also had office hours. A busy bee! Professor Poppins settled in and held office hours, too, and was visited by Dr. Wilson and Fishgrenade, the master of Walter-ball and an excellent Dadaist, if I may say so! Mr. Pierce, it looks like you have some competition for favorite faculty member!
I see that Professor Roslin wrote a letter! It must have been a doozy! Perhaps she was asking for a raise. For shame, Professor. You only just got here!
And the library was the place for all the nerds to be, today! Lyra looked for books on creepy things, Willow brought cookies and asked for books! You can have books from the library, Willow, but you have to give them back. Even if you bring cookies. Willow also met Zuko, who was looking for translate-y books. You have to give them back, too. And finally, Evie looked for information about people. I find it much easier to ask people than to read a book, personally. But good luck, Evie!
The dorms! Where there is usually too much emo!
The gym today was rather busy with students staying fit! It's important to stay fit to combat emo! Helpful tip! Don't eat metal! Don't . . . eat . . . metal! Unless you are of the extraterrestrial sort that requires metal to stay fit! Then you can eat metal.
Molly was very pipe in showing Zuko the gym, and showing off her incredible strength which has something to do with democracy. Because democracy is strong and pipe and so is Molly.
The mysterious notes of incredible mystery say that "Zuko and Tyler are laconic at each other" I don't know what that means but I'm sure it is a fun and happy thing. Greetings, Tyler! Another excellent Dadaist! Tyler also asked Molly about her strength. Didn't you hear, Tyler? It is borne of democracy! So vote! And perhaps you can be strong too!
Peter Pevensie and Molly talked about how glad they are not to be new any more. Are you old now? And wrinkly? Is that a gray hair I see, Peter? Peter also talked to Zuko about how Fandom is strange. Is it? I hadn't noticed! But Zuko's name is strange and possibly Dada, so perhaps it is a good fit! Molly and Alanna talked about Seely newbies. And I don't know what that means, either! Then Alanna talked to Old Man Peter about their little siblings. Little siblings are for teasing, my little vikings, but beware: they tease back! Old Man Peter also got a little something from Pete-who-calls-himself-Tim-who-is-leaving! Farewell my little identity confused viking. I will miss you terribly!
Meanwhile, Pip told Tyler about someone who has done very un-pipe things recently, then compared eye-patches with Billy, who came to be fit and not to eat metal. Good job, Billy! And Alanna and Zuko compared magical abilities. Does magic come from democracy, too?
But enough about the gym! There is more fun to be had in the dorms! In the fifth floor common room, JD watched cartoons. JD! I approve! He also met Old Man Peter, who was teasing a river! Which goes to show that even old people can be Dada! Dean Forrester, who my notes tell me is "still not Sam", also watched cartoons, and met Old man Peter and Pippi and her horse! A very pipe pair, there, Dean-who-is-still-not-Sam! You can learn much from Pippi. Even if she does seem to make JD nervous. Pippi told River, who isn't made of water, about moving Old Man to the stables. I didn't know Peter lived with horses. See? You don't need school to learn new things! River also met JD. Pip and Pippi planned a picnic while Peter used words that probably don't start with P to explain TV and magic to Evie. Evie also got an earful from that troublesome Nadia, was snubbed by Pip, and talked to Agnes about living on discs. Agnes and Cally talked about Joxer and Agnes chatted with Nadia about Zero's band. Tell me, can the band play "Marmalade Cream"? It's a classic!
Down one floor from that, Blair watched infomercials, which are less pipe than cartoons, with Dana and Ivanova, asked Jack about instincts, told Agnes about snowpeople (don't eat the carrots, Agnes), confessed his food fears to Ray, and met Seely-who-isn't-an-Angel or, apparently, an adjective. Blair also met Teddy, yelled at Jamie, bounced at Billy, and talked to Joxer. Agnes met Seely and Ray, told Jack about being a witch, and intimidated Joxer. That's not a very pipe thing to do, there, witchy viking!
Jack talked to Seely, who talked to Ray who talked to Jack and Joxer who talked to Billy about girls (watch out, they have cooties), who met Bel who was grumpy and who almost kissed Seely but was saved by Phoebe, then was apologized to by Jamie who also talked to Joxer about girl roommates who have cooties. And if you followed all that, Fandom, you are more pipe than I.
*sound of lots of paper shuffling*
These notes are amazing!
Down another floor and later in the day, Lavender, who is apparently not a color, read a magazine and met Bridge, who is not made of stone, learned about camp from Z, who is more than just a letter, and met Dean-who-is-not-Forrester or, by the way, Sam. Then she told Cedric that he's dead.
*pause*
Now that is very unpipe! Cedric! I hope you recover!
Some twins watched Lavender read and Z duplicate. It doesn't explain that at all, so I'll assume she's doing multiplication tables and is a total nerd-bag. The twins also made an appearance outside, where they "wandered around", "harrassed" Sakurazaki, and "met" Edward Elric.
Phoebe and Marie both received flowers! Very romantic! Hopefully not from the same boy!
In other news, Xander found Bridge, who had an unpipe dream, Pippi cleaned up, John and Aeryn--who has a very Dada name when you look at it spelled--talked, Dana contemplated, possibly her navel, Jamie apologized to Willow who talked to Angela about the library and how they ask for the books back, Blair did his own version of radio, Dean and Lyra got acquainted and met Evie. Lavender arrived, met her roommate and Parker left, pressumably without meeting anyone. Al talked to Conner, Chad, the twins, who apparently don't have names, and Sakurazaki who is sore, while Jack apparently stared at the ceiling. Are you emo, Jack? Hm. So is Barbara. I can help! I'll sing you a song!
Rollercoaster! Of love! Rollercoaster! Oh ooo ooo ooo!
Pip and Pippi have an un-emo date! Good job! But Molly tells Pippi she's leaving for awhile! That's not un-emo! Don't make me sing again!
Sam and Dean, though I don't know which, had a serious talk, then Dean made rice krispie treats and talked to Dawn and Carmela and thus cured his own emo. Good for you, Dean, whichever Dean-who-isn't-Sam you happen to be! Carmela also talked to Dawn-who-is-sadly-not-Nona and slapped Briar who isn't a bush, but who talked to Dean and Billy who met Isabel who talked to Dawn, Dean, Carmela, and Peter who talked to Billy and Carmela.
Ladies and gentlemen, there are not many degrees of separation in Fandom.
Z has free food radar. Which probably comes from democracy, too.
Evie and Summer, who probably isn't the season, both wake up, as does Seely, though my notes say he does it "seriously".
The very pipe Jedi viking, Anakin, said his good-byes today to Angela, Old Man Peter, Sam Carter, Marty, Willow, Zero who isn't a number, Dean Winchester who still isn't Sam, Bridge, Xander, Hamlet, Alanna, Cally, Greg, Marie, Dean the Tick, who isn't, as far as I know, a bug, Isabel, Alec, Cal, Jaye, John, Molly, Aeryn, and Rory. He will certainly be missed by a lot of people.
You are all far too emo.
There's a first aid workshop tomorrow!
And in the town which I protect!
Lana opened the bookstore! I bought a comic book there! It was pipe! Braka played RISK. It doesn't say if he ate the pieces. Chad and Kaylee applied to work at the most Dada store in town, Empire Records and Bidet, and El Mariachi went shopping! For pipe things, I hope!
At the Perk, Wilson got caffeinated and met Custer and Ellie and the Doctor, who appreciates a good super hero, was there and talked to Ellie and Clark. The notes tell me that John Winchester and Miho were "really damned interesting", and that John talked to Ellie and met Professor Rosalin, who met Clark. And Jack talked to Evie. You people are fascinating!
El Mariachi and River went to the church and Aly and Billy hung out in the park. There was a cat there, too. Cafe Fina was open, Jude and Sakurazaki (who has the best name ever) were on the causeway, and Marie and Lana talked about boys at the planet of pizza.
Over at Caritas, where I do the best job of working security, ever, Jarod told my favorite neighbor GOB what he'd missed the night before, and welcomed Chad to Fandom.
As do I. Welcome, Chad!
And in some very pipe news, the clinic was quiet for both Elliot during the day and Janet in the evening.
*sound of papers shuffling*
That's it? No more pipe news to report to the vikings? Well, thank you very much, Fandomites! Remember! When a foul wind blows emo over your town, you need only call on Artie to bring you out of sadness and into funkiness! I bid you goodni--
*sound of a superhero falling into super sleep, static, dead air*
[ooc: please note, should Artie get voted into radio, he won't be using italics regularly. This was a one time experiment to see if I could do it. Considering the dedness of me? Yeeeeeeah.]
W. A. R. T! Wart Radio! Fandom!
Greetings, my little vikings, vikingettes, and not-so-little-not-vikings! It is I! Artie! The strongest man . . . in the world, making my Fandom Radio debut to bring you all the news. Whether you like it, or not!
I have many pages of many notes about the goings on in Fandom and no idea where they have come from! We should be in for a fun broadcast.
Classes and School things. Ewwwwww.
Dean the Tick, who I have not met but am told is somewhat of a kindred spirit, made announcements this morning! Mr. Dean the Tick! I hope everything is pipe with you today! He told us all about the office staff, boooooooring, a locker numbered 3-2-7, which might be interesting, and a stable on the first floor of the dorms! So all your kings horses have a warm place to call home. Exciting!
He also told Nadia to report to see Vice Prince-a-pal Pierce. Ohhhh, someone is in trouble!
Speaking of that prince of a pal, Alanna and Professor Yondaime also stopped in to chat. You're a popular one, aren't you, Mr. Pierce!
Professor Yondaime also had office hours. A busy bee! Professor Poppins settled in and held office hours, too, and was visited by Dr. Wilson and Fishgrenade, the master of Walter-ball and an excellent Dadaist, if I may say so! Mr. Pierce, it looks like you have some competition for favorite faculty member!
I see that Professor Roslin wrote a letter! It must have been a doozy! Perhaps she was asking for a raise. For shame, Professor. You only just got here!
And the library was the place for all the nerds to be, today! Lyra looked for books on creepy things, Willow brought cookies and asked for books! You can have books from the library, Willow, but you have to give them back. Even if you bring cookies. Willow also met Zuko, who was looking for translate-y books. You have to give them back, too. And finally, Evie looked for information about people. I find it much easier to ask people than to read a book, personally. But good luck, Evie!
The dorms! Where there is usually too much emo!
The gym today was rather busy with students staying fit! It's important to stay fit to combat emo! Helpful tip! Don't eat metal! Don't . . . eat . . . metal! Unless you are of the extraterrestrial sort that requires metal to stay fit! Then you can eat metal.
Molly was very pipe in showing Zuko the gym, and showing off her incredible strength which has something to do with democracy. Because democracy is strong and pipe and so is Molly.
The mysterious notes of incredible mystery say that "Zuko and Tyler are laconic at each other" I don't know what that means but I'm sure it is a fun and happy thing. Greetings, Tyler! Another excellent Dadaist! Tyler also asked Molly about her strength. Didn't you hear, Tyler? It is borne of democracy! So vote! And perhaps you can be strong too!
Peter Pevensie and Molly talked about how glad they are not to be new any more. Are you old now? And wrinkly? Is that a gray hair I see, Peter? Peter also talked to Zuko about how Fandom is strange. Is it? I hadn't noticed! But Zuko's name is strange and possibly Dada, so perhaps it is a good fit! Molly and Alanna talked about Seely newbies. And I don't know what that means, either! Then Alanna talked to Old Man Peter about their little siblings. Little siblings are for teasing, my little vikings, but beware: they tease back! Old Man Peter also got a little something from Pete-who-calls-himself-Tim-who-is-leaving! Farewell my little identity confused viking. I will miss you terribly!
Meanwhile, Pip told Tyler about someone who has done very un-pipe things recently, then compared eye-patches with Billy, who came to be fit and not to eat metal. Good job, Billy! And Alanna and Zuko compared magical abilities. Does magic come from democracy, too?
But enough about the gym! There is more fun to be had in the dorms! In the fifth floor common room, JD watched cartoons. JD! I approve! He also met Old Man Peter, who was teasing a river! Which goes to show that even old people can be Dada! Dean Forrester, who my notes tell me is "still not Sam", also watched cartoons, and met Old man Peter and Pippi and her horse! A very pipe pair, there, Dean-who-is-still-not-Sam! You can learn much from Pippi. Even if she does seem to make JD nervous. Pippi told River, who isn't made of water, about moving Old Man to the stables. I didn't know Peter lived with horses. See? You don't need school to learn new things! River also met JD. Pip and Pippi planned a picnic while Peter used words that probably don't start with P to explain TV and magic to Evie. Evie also got an earful from that troublesome Nadia, was snubbed by Pip, and talked to Agnes about living on discs. Agnes and Cally talked about Joxer and Agnes chatted with Nadia about Zero's band. Tell me, can the band play "Marmalade Cream"? It's a classic!
Down one floor from that, Blair watched infomercials, which are less pipe than cartoons, with Dana and Ivanova, asked Jack about instincts, told Agnes about snowpeople (don't eat the carrots, Agnes), confessed his food fears to Ray, and met Seely-who-isn't-an-Angel or, apparently, an adjective. Blair also met Teddy, yelled at Jamie, bounced at Billy, and talked to Joxer. Agnes met Seely and Ray, told Jack about being a witch, and intimidated Joxer. That's not a very pipe thing to do, there, witchy viking!
Jack talked to Seely, who talked to Ray who talked to Jack and Joxer who talked to Billy about girls (watch out, they have cooties), who met Bel who was grumpy and who almost kissed Seely but was saved by Phoebe, then was apologized to by Jamie who also talked to Joxer about girl roommates who have cooties. And if you followed all that, Fandom, you are more pipe than I.
*sound of lots of paper shuffling*
These notes are amazing!
Down another floor and later in the day, Lavender, who is apparently not a color, read a magazine and met Bridge, who is not made of stone, learned about camp from Z, who is more than just a letter, and met Dean-who-is-not-Forrester or, by the way, Sam. Then she told Cedric that he's dead.
*pause*
Now that is very unpipe! Cedric! I hope you recover!
Some twins watched Lavender read and Z duplicate. It doesn't explain that at all, so I'll assume she's doing multiplication tables and is a total nerd-bag. The twins also made an appearance outside, where they "wandered around", "harrassed" Sakurazaki, and "met" Edward Elric.
Phoebe and Marie both received flowers! Very romantic! Hopefully not from the same boy!
In other news, Xander found Bridge, who had an unpipe dream, Pippi cleaned up, John and Aeryn--who has a very Dada name when you look at it spelled--talked, Dana contemplated, possibly her navel, Jamie apologized to Willow who talked to Angela about the library and how they ask for the books back, Blair did his own version of radio, Dean and Lyra got acquainted and met Evie. Lavender arrived, met her roommate and Parker left, pressumably without meeting anyone. Al talked to Conner, Chad, the twins, who apparently don't have names, and Sakurazaki who is sore, while Jack apparently stared at the ceiling. Are you emo, Jack? Hm. So is Barbara. I can help! I'll sing you a song!
Rollercoaster! Of love! Rollercoaster! Oh ooo ooo ooo!
Pip and Pippi have an un-emo date! Good job! But Molly tells Pippi she's leaving for awhile! That's not un-emo! Don't make me sing again!
Sam and Dean, though I don't know which, had a serious talk, then Dean made rice krispie treats and talked to Dawn and Carmela and thus cured his own emo. Good for you, Dean, whichever Dean-who-isn't-Sam you happen to be! Carmela also talked to Dawn-who-is-sadly-not-Nona and slapped Briar who isn't a bush, but who talked to Dean and Billy who met Isabel who talked to Dawn, Dean, Carmela, and Peter who talked to Billy and Carmela.
Ladies and gentlemen, there are not many degrees of separation in Fandom.
Z has free food radar. Which probably comes from democracy, too.
Evie and Summer, who probably isn't the season, both wake up, as does Seely, though my notes say he does it "seriously".
The very pipe Jedi viking, Anakin, said his good-byes today to Angela, Old Man Peter, Sam Carter, Marty, Willow, Zero who isn't a number, Dean Winchester who still isn't Sam, Bridge, Xander, Hamlet, Alanna, Cally, Greg, Marie, Dean the Tick, who isn't, as far as I know, a bug, Isabel, Alec, Cal, Jaye, John, Molly, Aeryn, and Rory. He will certainly be missed by a lot of people.
You are all far too emo.
There's a first aid workshop tomorrow!
And in the town which I protect!
Lana opened the bookstore! I bought a comic book there! It was pipe! Braka played RISK. It doesn't say if he ate the pieces. Chad and Kaylee applied to work at the most Dada store in town, Empire Records and Bidet, and El Mariachi went shopping! For pipe things, I hope!
At the Perk, Wilson got caffeinated and met Custer and Ellie and the Doctor, who appreciates a good super hero, was there and talked to Ellie and Clark. The notes tell me that John Winchester and Miho were "really damned interesting", and that John talked to Ellie and met Professor Rosalin, who met Clark. And Jack talked to Evie. You people are fascinating!
El Mariachi and River went to the church and Aly and Billy hung out in the park. There was a cat there, too. Cafe Fina was open, Jude and Sakurazaki (who has the best name ever) were on the causeway, and Marie and Lana talked about boys at the planet of pizza.
Over at Caritas, where I do the best job of working security, ever, Jarod told my favorite neighbor GOB what he'd missed the night before, and welcomed Chad to Fandom.
As do I. Welcome, Chad!
And in some very pipe news, the clinic was quiet for both Elliot during the day and Janet in the evening.
*sound of papers shuffling*
That's it? No more pipe news to report to the vikings? Well, thank you very much, Fandomites! Remember! When a foul wind blows emo over your town, you need only call on Artie to bring you out of sadness and into funkiness! I bid you goodni--
*sound of a superhero falling into super sleep, static, dead air*
[ooc: please note, should Artie get voted into radio, he won't be using italics regularly. This was a one time experiment to see if I could do it. Considering the dedness of me? Yeeeeeeah.]