I have what I hope is a very basic question...
I've been off bc and charting to avoid for 5 cycles now, just started my 6th. I find myself wondering...If my ovulation almost always occurs 10 days after the last day of my period, would it be fairly safe to assume that I won't ovulate within, say, the first three days after? My husband is STILL too
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I also always always use condoms, abstaining on the days when I am fertile or probably fertile....being more 'gentle' around 'possible, but unlikely'
However, my partner has never finished inside me, so I have that working in our favor, for TTA.
I can't give any guidance on the safety of it, but were you on HBC with your husband? Was he okay (more okay) with the HBC and having sex more often or with less hesitance?
If so, maybe you could try to express that it's almost impossible to make it impossible to get pregnant. That there is always a risk involved, as there was with HBC? But now instead of taking that 1 or 2 percent 'chance' of it failing at any time, you have taken more control of it?
Or find whichever way to bring up that point that won't backfire?
(I have a similar situation. I'm convinced part of the reason my boyfriend can't climax is that he is paranoid of pregnancy. There are lots of others, but I'm sure this is part of it)
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I was on HBC in the past, yes, and he was very much okay with sex, because the failure rate (nuvaring) was very, very low. However, during that time, I was not at all interested in sex because the hormones were interfering with my libido, so we didn't have much to worry about. I'd say we had sex about as often with the HBC as we do now...sigh. That's rather depressing to realize.
I will consider trying the "nothing is foolproof" idea but I'm afraid it will just make him want to add in a few more layers of protection...a diaphragm and an IUD and maybe him getting his tubes tied, and throw in some spermicide for a yeast infection good measure...
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yeah, it's really hard to get it not to backfire....
my boyfriend had a box of spermicidal condoms, and i kept bringing my own until one day we ran out and i refused to use them. then one day i caved and they bothered HIS skin. He finally let go of the 'extra layer with spermicide' bit that i was so against.
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Disclosure: I feel similarly about risk though and therefore have an IUD as my primary method, I wouldn't use FAM alone for avoiding, personally, because I'm not perfect with it and really do not want an unplanned pregnancy.
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Also, maybe it would help to have him look at some other womens' charts, maybe some with sex indicated on them so he can see "ovulation, wait three days, hump like bunnies, woman gets period" often repeated. Or, would it help to post your charts for us and have everyone say, "yes, you ovulated!" ?
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brilliant :)
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