A Struggle for the Presidency 3/?
Title: A Struggle for the Presidency
Characters: Jon Stewart, "Stephen Colbert", Rush Limbaugh, Bill Maher, Jimmy Fallon, and Bill O'Reilly, at least for this chapter
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: A few curses?
Summary: This is the story of Jon Stewart, senator of New York, and Stephen Colbert, senator of South Carolina and their challenging journey to change the world: By being the first Democrat-Republican Presidential Administration.
Author's Note: Same universe as The President's Dilemma.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Previous Parts: 1 2
Jon Stewart’s Campaign Headquarters
August 7, 2008
Conference Room
Stephen walked into the conference room for the daily meeting on Thursday and was met with the sight of a TV at the center of the conference table. All of the staff were gathered at one side of the room, watching the TV’s screen closely. Stephen joined them, and tapped on Bill’s shoulder. “Why is there a TV in the room?” he asked.
“We’re watching FOX News,” Bill answered. “Watching what lies the Republicans are spewing.”
Stephen looked at the television just as a news anchor asked a panel, “What do think of the Stewart Colbert ticket so far?”
One member of the panel responded, “I feel like the ticket might do some good for this country for once.”
Another panel member said, “I don’t. Sure, Colbert is a Republican, but how sure are we that he’ll push the conservative agenda?”
A third panel member nodded. “I’ve seen their rallies and I haven’t heard one single mention of a conservative value in any of their speeches.”
The second panel member added, “They haven’t even talked about their positions on the issues the American people care about!”
The first panel member, seeing that the rest of the panel was ganging up on him, defended himself. “I’m sure Colbert is doing his best to put conservative views on the table--”
“On that subject, where is Colbert?” The third panel member interrupted. “He rarely appears anywhere. It’s like they are keeping him imprisoned!”
The conversation dissolved into indistinct yells as the first panel member protested the second’s allegations and the third tried to get their opinion in. Finally the anchor intervened. “I think we’ll stop here for now. We will continue with the panel after the break.”
As soon as the show went to break, a staff member switched off the TV and the room dissolved into chaos as people expressed their opinions. Suddenly Jon spoke up. “They’re right, you know.”
The room fell silent since everyone was staring at Jon. “We need to get some actual bipartisan ideas out there.”
“How?” Stephen asked, not liking where this is going.
Jon turned to him. “You and I need to sit down and hash out the details on our position in every issue, and I don’t care if it’ll take all night for us to do it.”
“What? We’re doing this tonight?” Stephen whined.
“Alright, tomorrow night then,” Jon said, seeing Stephen distress. “Just bring some snacks and a sleeping bag because we are definitely pulling an all-nighter.”
Stephen groaned and put his head in his hands.
***888***888***
Jon Stewart Campaign Headquarters
August 8, 2008
Conference Room- Night
Jon, Stephen, Jimmy and Bill gathered at the door of the conference room for their impromptu sleepover. “Why do I have to be your mediator? Why can’t Bill do it?” Jimmy asked.
“Because I don’t someone just to break us up when we have an argument,” Jon explained. “I want someone to combine both of our ideas together into something we can both agree on. I believe you can do that.”
“I don’t!” Jimmy said, who was now a bit overwhelmed.
“You’ll prove that you can do it to yourself night,” Jon said. “Everyone set?”
“Yep,” Stephen said. “I’ve got the sleeping bags.”
“And I will be outside if it gets violent,” Bill said before patting Jimmy’s shoulder. “But I don’t think you’ll let it go that far.”
Jimmy sighed. “Why do you all have so much trust in me?”
“Because you deserve it,” Jon responded. “C’mon, Jimmy, Stephen, let’s get inside.”
He pushed them into the conference room and was about to join them when Bill asked, “You think you’ll have some bipartisanship tonight?”
Jon grinned. “I’m not sure about that. All I know is that I’ll be snoring into my cereal in the morning.” And with that, he slipped into the conference room.
***888***888***
Jon Stewart’s Campaign Headquarters
August 9, 2008
Hallway- Morning
Many hours later Jon, Jimmy and Stephen filed out of the conference room to find Bill snoring on the floor with bags of chips strewed around him. “This is why I chose you over Bill,” Jon said to Jimmy while Stephen woke Bill up. “You don’t snore when you doze off.”
As soon as Bill woke up he asked, “How did it go?”
“Surprisingly well,” Stephen said. “We had a few intense arguments, but Jimmy handled them well.”
“The next step is to start campaigning with our bipartisan ideas,” Jon said.
“I of course will appear more on the campaign trail,” Stephen said. “I need to rally some more support before the Democratic Convention.”
“Well let’s get started shall we?” Bill said but Stephen shook his head.
“No, I need to get my beauty sleep. I can’t stay this sexy without some maintenance, you know.”
Bill, Jon and Jimmy all rolled their eyes.
***888***888***
FOX News Building
NYC
August 14, 2008
Rush Limbaugh sat in a room, surrounded by TVs showing various FOX News shows. The TVs gave the only light in the room, casting Rush a huge silhouette over the room. He was glued to the screens when a man walked into the room and stood next to him.
“You’re late,” Rush said monotonously, still staring at the TVs.
“It’s hard to keep track of everything, being the Republican nominee is a big job,” the man said.
Rush sighed, and turned to face the man. “Yes it is O’Reilly, but there are more important matters at hand here. I wanted to you to hear first. I’m taking Operation Killing Colbert to the next stage.”
“Why?” Bill O. asked. He motioned to the TV screens. “The news are doing enough to smear his campaign already, and I thought we’ll only go to the next stage if Colbert was a threat after the conventions.”
“If I didn’t know better I would think you wanted him to win,” Rush said accusingly.
“No!” Bill protested. “I just think that Hannity and I can take them.”
Rush shook his head. “It won’t be easy. Stewart and Colbert are a great team of politicians. Most people couldn’t even get to where they are now, and from the looks of it they won’t back down so easily. That’s why I think we should unleash the big guns now, before they start to rally some real support.”
“Rush, I think you’re taking this a bit too seriously. You might ruin Colbert’s entire career if you go through with this.”
“Are you going soft, O’Reilly?” Rush asked. “Seriously man, do you want to win this thing?”
“Yeah I do but--” Bill began but Rush interrupted him.
“Then we need to eliminate the competition. You’ll won’t regret this, I promise.”
“Too late, I already do,” Bill responded, and Rush took that as a go ahead. Rush took out a packet that listed all of the conservative Republicans in America in 2008. He found the C names and followed the list down to Colbert, Stephen and using a black pen, crossed out the name.
“It’s done,” Rush said as he put the packet away again. “The new list will be supposedly leaked into the news by next week and Colbert’s absence will be the number one headline, stealing the spotlight from the Democratic Convention.” He grinned nastily. “I wish I could see his face when he switches on his TV Monday morning.”
“This is really cruel, you know that?” Bill said while staring blankly at the television screens.
Rush shrugged. “That’s politics. The only way up around here is to push other people down, you know that.”
“Still, it’s career homicide we’re committing here,” Bill muttered.
***888***888***
Jon Stewart’s Campaign Headquarters
August 18, 2008
Closet- Morning
Jimmy found Stephen crouched in a hallway closet on Monday morning, his cries painful to hear. There were tears in his eyes and it took him awhile to regain the ability to speak, but when he was able to, said, “Jimmy, I--I don’t think I can do this anymore. Tell Jon I quit!”
“Stephen, if you just calm down--,” Jimmy said.
Stephen just wailed, which Jimmy interpreted as a ‘No!’.
Jimmy tried to talk again but Stephen wailed louder and ducked his head into his knees and started rocking himself back and forth. Jimmy eventually left and Stephen fell into a crying heap. “Why do Republicans have to be so mean?” Stephen cried out to no one in particular.
TO BE CONTINUED