Re: Things you wouldn't admit unanon
anonymous
March 2 2014, 21:03:05 UTC
Asexual anon here. I never really get aroused by anything, including sex, so thinking or not thinking about it doesn't make any difference. In fact, I find it distracting, and don't really see the point. For me masturbation isn't connected to anything sexual, it's just "if I touch this body part it feels good".
Re: Things you wouldn't admit unanon
anonymous
March 2 2014, 22:22:40 UTC
By touching yourself?
I mean, little kids masturbate. Do you really think a toddler who is touching their genitals because it feels good is having sex fantasies? Of course not. They touch themselves because it feels good.
That's how it is for me when I masturbate. I don't fantasize about anyone or anything while I'm doing it, I just focus on how it feels.
Re: Things you wouldn't admit unanon
anonymous
March 2 2014, 22:31:08 UTC
NA
I consider myself sexual, and I rarely fantasise about myself having sex. I don't have to think about sex at all to get off, actually, though I am turned on by certain kinks and situations.
Re: Things you wouldn't admit unanon
anonymous
March 2 2014, 22:39:56 UTC
NA
I have never fantasized about myself having sex. It's always a character I deliberately build (because my fantasies are kind of heavy on the humiliation and I don't really want to be there, personally).
Re: Things you wouldn't admit unanon
anonymous
March 2 2014, 17:39:15 UTC
Or maybe they just don't like the idea of having sex with another human being? Sexual!Nonny here, so I won't claim I really understand Asexuality (which I really really don't) but I respect it and to assume that only because someone enjoys masturbating they have 'issues' is just an incredibly strange conclusion to make.
Re: Things you wouldn't admit unanon
anonymous
March 2 2014, 17:44:57 UTC
Wouldn't they still feel sexual attraction to other people, if that were the case? I'm not asexual, but there have been years during which I didn't find anyone sexually attractive, while still having no problem getting off on my own. I assume for some asexuals it's like that, but for their entire lives.
Re: Things you wouldn't admit unanon
anonymous
March 2 2014, 17:45:15 UTC
Haha, I used to think this for the longest time about myself. But nah. There's something else that's not there, some connection missing in the brain that sexual people seem to have. Besides, it's not "balking" - that might come at thinking of specific individuals or situations that feel wrong, same as with anyone else - as just a big blankness. Not a negative response as much as a nothing response, at least for me.
Plus, I know there are plenty of asexuals who, unlike me, have tried having sex and it just didn't work for them.
The brain is a mysterious thing, and libidoes and physical attraction can work in very different ways. Being an auto-erotic asexual is just one of the many variations that can happen along the way. I'm not saying I'm "broken", but I do think my brain never quite wired itself according to standard blueprints. For whatever reason. It's like synaesthesia and dyscalculia and such, it just happens. *shrug*
Re: Things you wouldn't admit unanon
anonymous
March 2 2014, 17:56:43 UTC
Those who are disgusted and terrified at the thought of sex definitely have issues.
But it's not really an issue if it doesn't make you feel bad, is it? And if I can bring myself to orgasm with my own hand, what do I need another person for? I don't have needs that would require involvement of other people and have no wish to help other people fulfill theirs.
The difference between masturbating to porn and having sex yourself is like the difference between enjoying sport on tv and doing it yourself. There's more than a few sport fans who don't move around much, and that doesn't mean they secretely really want to play sport but they have unresolved issues which stop them from going out to kick a ball for a while.
Re: Things you wouldn't admit unanon
anonymous
March 2 2014, 18:01:02 UTC
If they're happy to call themselves asexual and satisfy their own sex drive by masturbating, is there some reason why they should have to deal with their issues? Who are they hurting?
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I mean, little kids masturbate. Do you really think a toddler who is touching their genitals because it feels good is having sex fantasies? Of course not. They touch themselves because it feels good.
That's how it is for me when I masturbate. I don't fantasize about anyone or anything while I'm doing it, I just focus on how it feels.
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I masturbated for the first time at 16, so I have no personal experience with pre-sexual touching. You have a point. I guess I'm the weird one.
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Well I've masturbated while thinking of men being violently (but not sexually) tortured.
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I consider myself sexual, and I rarely fantasise about myself having sex. I don't have to think about sex at all to get off, actually, though I am turned on by certain kinks and situations.
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I have never fantasized about myself having sex. It's always a character I deliberately build (because my fantasies are kind of heavy on the humiliation and I don't really want to be there, personally).
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Plus, I know there are plenty of asexuals who, unlike me, have tried having sex and it just didn't work for them.
The brain is a mysterious thing, and libidoes and physical attraction can work in very different ways. Being an auto-erotic asexual is just one of the many variations that can happen along the way. I'm not saying I'm "broken", but I do think my brain never quite wired itself according to standard blueprints. For whatever reason. It's like synaesthesia and dyscalculia and such, it just happens. *shrug*
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But it's not really an issue if it doesn't make you feel bad, is it? And if I can bring myself to orgasm with my own hand, what do I need another person for? I don't have needs that would require involvement of other people and have no wish to help other people fulfill theirs.
The difference between masturbating to porn and having sex yourself is like the difference between enjoying sport on tv and doing it yourself. There's more than a few sport fans who don't move around much, and that doesn't mean they secretely really want to play sport but they have unresolved issues which stop them from going out to kick a ball for a while.
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