I have almost no experience---and no criteria---by which to judge poems, but I really like this! There's a ton of color, and I like how even though the perspective wavers between the collective and the individual for just one line ("a glory in the sheets laid wet against my cheek"), all of it feels like very personal feelings drawn out and made into images.
I wanna try reading it again in, say, July, but it's super effective right now.
Very nice -- assuming I haven't entirely misread this, which, knowing me, is quite likely, I love the contrast between the holiday and its connotations of winter and the heat of December in the southern hemisphere. Forgive me, if I missed your intent.
I especially liked these lines.
no colours here but these: brute red the dirt, pale gold the grass and green the wish in hopeless hearts who scan the lovely sky for rain.
And these as well.
beneath our careless hearts, our shallow thanks, the year goes tense -- awaits its end and bares its browning limbs beneath the sun.
And I have been greatly enjoying the new additions to the eyaiverse, though I've neglected to review them properly. Been horribly busy, but they have been a wonderful and fascinating series of tales to read.
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I wanna try reading it again in, say, July, but it's super effective right now.
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I especially liked these lines.
no colours here
but these: brute red the dirt, pale gold the grass
and green the wish in hopeless hearts
who scan the lovely sky for rain.
And these as well.
beneath our careless hearts, our shallow thanks,
the year goes tense -- awaits its end
and bares its browning limbs beneath the sun.
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