You are not beautiful and you don't want to be? If that was so easy to believe you would not be writing what you're writing in your journal. you know you feel ugly, horrible, fat and disgusting. But why? Because you've bought into what is the norm. What is acceptable. It's ok to lose weight and to make yourself all perrty but do it for yourself. But don't kill yourself (metaphorically) over something so someone will notice you.
You've got hope and I trhink you can achieve your inner self. If only you stopped modeling yourself after others. If only you saw the actual beauty inside of you. There's no need to even affirm it or proclaim it to the world. It's just there. It 's just there and it always has.
I've strived to be beautiful all of my life and I realized I am never going to look what I see on TV and i'm okay with that. I have accepted that my life is not going to be that of a super model and i'm not trying to change for anyone. At times I don't like myself and wish I can change but it's because I truly don't like myself. I don't care much more of what people think, though it hurts when people make comments. I am happy because I know all that I am is all that I am going to be, why change it now... And thank you for your comments but who are you?
Supermodels are like butterflies, they live for a few short days. Instead of obsessing about all the bad qualities in you focus on none. Just be you, be yourself. Looking a certain way will only give you the illusion of feeling good about yourself. Eventually it will fade and you will crash down. Just fuck everything and be you and be happy. Don't focus on the bad nor the good. Don't polarize yourself.
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You've got hope and I trhink you can achieve your inner self. If only you stopped modeling yourself after others. If only you saw the actual beauty inside of you. There's no need to even affirm it or proclaim it to the world. It's just there. It
's just there and it always has.
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