Title: Caught in the Hands of Fate
Author: fadedsparks
Beta:
lunadragonxArt:
trueshellzFandom: RPS
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rated: R, with NC-17 in later chapters
Genre: AU, Angst, Romance
Disclaimer: This isn't meant to offend anyone and I am making no profit from it.
Warnings: Violence and Homophobia. Also, Jensen and Jared are the same age in this story.
Summary: Jensen has had his share of ups and downs, but he pushes forward and tries not to take life for granted. Starting college in California seems like the right choice for him, and everything is going better than he imagined it would. However, fate can be a tricky thing sometimes.
Author's Note: This story has gone through it's share of betas so I would just like to thank
kazminka &
genevieve_1 for the beta help they gave to me during this fic as well.
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Prologue:
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January 23rd, 2001
Deep hazel eyes stare out the third story window, taking in the beautiful sight, the breathtaking pink and purple hues of another sunset that the silent man can’t bring himself to appreciate. He doesn’t have the strength to care about the natural beauty around him; he has lost his passion for pretty much everything these last couple of days. In the soft chill of the winter breeze, he takes in deep lungfuls of fresh and clean air while spending a few hours laughing with his closest friends. All of this means very little to him at the moment, even though he wishes he could feel an ounce of joy from the things he has always loved. The only thing that means a damn to him right now is laying a few feet away, which still sort of amazes him, because he never believed he was capable of caring so deeply.
Jared drags his hazel eyes from the window to the man in question and feels warmth spread throughout his body; a fondness in his heart of which he has only become familiar this past year or so. He has had crushes on people many times in his twenty-one years, has even loved once before, but none of them compare to the intense feelings and emotions in his heart when he thinks of, or even looks at, the light haired man.
His life has always been mundane and routine. Not unfulfilling, but it has always been ordinary and nothing life altering had ever happened to him. That is, until this wonderful man came into his life. When he met the kind and gentle man, he found himself experiencing things he never imagined he would. His life was irreversibly changed for the better, and there isn’t a day that goes by where he doesn’t thank the higher powers for that.
Even more than that, he has never had someone care so much about him before. No one has ever really loved him the way a significant other is supposed to until now. He has never felt such a connection with another person before. He has never been loved so unconditionally, never been the center of another person’s world. The feeling is all consuming. When the other man simply smiles in his direction, he feels like he is falling into an endless abyss, only he isn’t afraid. He feels enveloped by love and security.
He has made mistakes; ones he is trying to make up for, and he isn’t going to stop trying to make amends to the person who means most to him. Even forty-eight hours ago he was still hurting the one person he claims to care about with his actions. Actions that were brought on by fear, and while he may never be able to forgive himself, he is hoping to be given a second chance to make it up to the blonde man. Jared has come to realize that he can’t live without him, and he is going to make it his personal mission to make the other man believe that.
Jared lets out a sigh as he rises from his seat by the window, the room growing dark now that the sun has made its descent, and crosses the space between his chair and the bed. Perching himself on the edge of the bed, Jared takes the man’s hand in his own and gazes down at him; eyes limpid with affection. He aches to reach out and cup that motionless face with the palm of his hand, but he holds himself back, content with just taking in the sight with his eyes.
It is still a mystery to him how he managed to capture the attention of such an amazing person, much less obtain the love the blonde bestows upon him so eagerly. He had never been with a man before, and at times it still scares him, but he isn’t going to let it hold him back anymore. He is going to do things right this time; he is going to give himself over completely to the green eyed vision before him.
If there is one thing this remarkable man has taught him, it is to not be ashamed of who he is and whom he loves. This is his life, no one else’s, and he plans to live it to the fullest. He is done taking life for granted, and he will never truly be happy until he is honest with himself and everyone else about who he really is.
“I promise, I’m going to make it up to you,” Jared whispers in the darkness of the room, lightly squeezing the hand grasped in his. “I won’t be as foolish as I was before, this time you’re gonna have all of me; everything I possibly have to give. You’re going to come first, above everything else, and that includes my family. I’ll never let you down again, I won’t be stupid enough to let you go a second time.”
He may have been led astray, he may have not shown the keeper of his heart just how deeply he cares for him, but he knows for certain that he is in love and he plans on telling the man when he awakens…
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