FIC: Ghost in the Machine - 2/3, Pacific Rim, PG, gen (Chuck, Raleigh, Herc, Tendo)
chapter 1
Part II: December 2024 - January 2025
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"Because the flashy suits and ties would rather trust a wall," Herc said, right hand a tight fist behind his back. "You already know this, Chuck."
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"None of us like it."
His gaze roamed over Chuck's body, so quiet and unmoving. Even knowing Chuck watched him through the complex-wide camera system (and fuck, the boy had become an ace at maneuvering through the systems and circuits until he had the entire Shatterdome under his control - it made the Sydney LOCCENT crew more than a little mental at times), Herc still stepped forward and covered Chuck's hand with his.
"They do your therapy this morning?"
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"I know that," Herc snapped before taking a deep breath. "I know that, Chuck. But you're going to wake up, and the last thing you want is another five years spent in physical therapy just so you can wipe your own arse, let alone walk. This way..."
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If a computer voice could sound contrite and apologetic, Chuck's did. Herc just nodded as the nurses came in to start preparing Chuck for the flight to Hong Kong. Taller now than he'd been during that first disastrous Drift, and bulked out, thanks to the physical therapy regimen, he looked as if he'd fallen into the coma just weeks ago instead of years.
"Alright, the laptop's hooked up, so you can clear out of the 'Dome system and we can get going. You ready?"
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"You can always stay here," Herc said as he fought to hide his smile. "Be pretty boring, though, what with everyone else heading out. And me and Striker'll be up in Hong Kong, so you'll be stuck inside."
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"I know you do, son," Herc laughed. "But we'll have you back in a 'Dome soon enough, and you'll have all that RAM at your fingertips again."
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"One time, and you're never gonna let me forget it."
*
Juggling two cups of coffee and a bagel, Tendo stepped into LOCCENT. One look at his monitor, already on and displaying data, told him that Chuck had settled into Hong Kong with no issues.
"Morning, kiddo," he said, dropping into his seat. "How're we doing?"
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That was Chuck-speak for 'all quiet on the Western front'. Tendo grinned. Then he looked at his monitor and groaned. "Seriously, Chuck? I thought we'd settled this last time I was in Sydney."
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"So watching bad Jaeger pilot porn is your solution? Can't you be more mature?"
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"And stop reading your damn psyche profile."
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Tendo tried not to laugh, but it was hard. He just managed to hang on to his control, well aware that Chuck had 'eyes' everywhere. "You grew out of puberty a few years ago. I doubt there are any chemicals still sautéing in there."
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Thank God that the LOCCENT was mostly deserted that early. And that the Marshal hadn't returned from the States yet. Tendo refused to think of his reaction to Chuck's totally inappropriate comments. "I see the time spent in your dad's laptop did nothing to curb your sass," he said as he studied the downloads on his monitor. "And couldn't you find something with more creative titles?"
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"Okay, that's just TMI," Tendo laughed. "Come on, clear this out of here. You know if the Marshal finds out, he'll make me scrub the systems again.
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"Chuck," Tendo said, trying (and failing, he was sure) to sound stern. "Come on."
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"I take it 'Anal Danger' didn't have the Becket look-a-like?" Tendo asked before he could stop himself.
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Tendo ignored the jab and leaned forward, looked at the single still active command that was accompanied by a countdown clock, and tapped his screen. "Chuck, what's this?"
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Taking a slow sip of his coffee, Tendo looked up at the camera over his head. There was a long moment of silence.
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"Do I want to know?"
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He knew he'd regret it, but - "What's the 'Wake Up Shatterdome' protocol?"
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Tendo choked on his bite of bagel. "Do you want the entire 'Dome to kill you?"
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"That's because you're all a bunch of freaks," Tendo muttered.
*
Herc hated unpacking almost as much as he did packing. And even though it was just a few changes of clothes, his toiletries, old photos, and mementos, it was still a process. Grumbling to himself (knowing that Chuck was listening and silently laughing), he pulled out another shirt and reached for a hanger.
"Go on and say what-" He broke off as the Breach Alert sounded, klaxons wailing through the Shatterdome. The screens inside the room lit up, but Herc looked directly into the camera mounted on the wall. "Chuck, report."
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"Where's it heading?"
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"Not on my watch," Herc snarled, grabbing his jacket as he headed for the drivesuit room. "Who've we got?"
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"Like bloody hell we will. You ready for your last fight as an official PPDC Ranger?"
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*
Echo Saber is down. I repeat, Echo Saber is down. The kaiju bashed in the Conn-Pod like it was a tin can. No way they survived that.
Cherno Alpha, move in to engage and watch out for those claws. Those things are deadly.
Furious at the loss of another Jaeger and her team, Herc bit his tongue as he watched the displays in Striker's Conn-Pod. The Russian team appeared to handle whatever the kaiju threw at them, but then Herc noticed that they kept backing up. As he watched, his anger twisting in the Drift with Chuck's, Cherno battled Mutavore up to and through the Wall.
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Herc snorted out a laugh. "Loads safer."
Just then, Mutavore landed a blow that sent Cherno to her knees. The angry yells from the Kaidanovskys echoed through the comm.
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"Screw this, LOCCENT, we're moving in," Herc snarled. Damned if he was going to stand by and watch another team die. "Come on, let's get this bastard."
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Moving fast, Striker Eureka hit the kaiju with everything they had. Herc reared back for another blow, sting-blades snapping into place as he swung.
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They traded punches through the streets of downtown Sydney. Blue blood flew with each strike, and Herc grunted with the force of each impact against Striker's frame. But when Mutavore opened its mouth to roar at them (and just watching that gave Herc a sense of vertigo, because the fucker's eyes were below its mouth), Herc saw their opening. "Chuck, engage AKMs now!"
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Standing up straight, Herc pulled his shoulders back, feeling Striker's chest plates slide open so they could fire the missiles. Before they could launch, Mutavore turned, roared again, and leaped at them.
The vicious impact sent Striker reeling back into a building. Before the stabilizers could kick in and keep the Jaeger on her feet, Mutavore came at them again. There was no time for anything more than a stream of curses (from Herc and Chuck) before Mutavore was on them. This time, the blow slammed Herc sideways in the motion rig. His body twisted in ways that nature had never intended, muscles screaming in agony as he fought to stay upright because going down meant their deaths.
Another blow landed and he heard a sickening crack just below his right ear. Years before Chuck was born, Herc had played rugby in school, and he'd broken his collarbone during a game. This was the same exact pain.
They took another blow before Cherno could intervene.
As the battle started to move away from them, Herc cursed and pulled himself to his feet and considered his options for continuing the fight. He didn't have many. So he grabbed a flare gun. Time to do something really stupid.
*
"So much for your big, damn plan," Herc said. He sat on the edge of the hospital bed, glaring at Stacker each time he paced past the nurse adjusting the sling holding Herc's right arm.
"Perhaps not," Stacker replied, all unflappable calm.
It made Herc want to punch him. "Perhaps not?" he asked instead. "Stacker, y'got three Jaegers - and Striker's still got to be repaired - and only enough crews to pilot two of 'em. Or did you miss the fact that I'm out of the fight?"
He gestured towards the sling, but all Stacker did was look at him. Damn Poms and their stiff upper lip bullshit.
"Chuck can still pilot."
Herc laughed. He couldn't help himself. "Not without his body, he can't. Not without a co-pilot. Face it, Striker's out of the mix. You're down to two Jaegers."
"Not necessarily."
"There's no one to pilot with him."
"There's someone else who's compatible with Chuck."
"Who?" It took a few seconds, but when it hit him, his eyes went wide. "No. No fucking way. I'm not asking Scott to do this, and neither are you. He's out, and -"
"Not Scott."
The quiet, calm response stopped the flow of words. He narrowed his eyes as he tried to figure out just what was going through Stacker's head.
"There's someone else. I just have to find him. Relax, Hercules. I have this under control."
With those words, Stacker nodded and walked away, leaving Herc to wonder just what the hell was Stacker was planning. Whatever it was, something told him that Chuck wasn't going to like it.
*
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"If you're trying to whisper, kiddo, you're doing a bad job of it," Tendo grumbled as he rolled to his left and pulled the covers over his head.
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"No." Keeping his eyes closed, Tendo pulled the blanket even higher. "I'm not waking up for anything short of a Breach opening. And I don't hear any alarms."
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Not for anything short of a Breach opening - except that. Tendo pushed the covers away from his face and looked at the ceiling. Thank God Chuck hadn't decided to turn on the lights this time. "Why did you do that?"
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"Did anyone bother telling you that you're a nosy little bastard?"
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"The Academy -"
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"How's your dad?"
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Tendo was surprised that Chuck had allowed the change of subject, but he kept it to himself. "That's a good thing."
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With a sigh (and a sinking feeling), Tendo sat up and rubbed his face. "He's trying to find Raleigh Becket. Seems the two of you are Drift compatible."
Chuck didn't reply. In fact, he didn't reply for so long that Tendo started to worry. He swung his feet off his bunk and rubbed his face again before reaching to flip on the small lamp. "Chuck?"
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"C'mon, kiddo, talk to me." Tendo waited. And waited. And waited. "Chuck?"
There was no answer.
*
"Sorry to hear about your brother. He was a good man."
Raleigh shook Herc's extended hand. "Thank you, sir."
"Yeah, nah, mate, just Herc now." His wink pulled a small smile from Raleigh. "No official ranks anymore, no matter what Stacker says."
Raleigh made a mental note to remember that. No doubt he'd slip up and Herc would call him on it, but old habits died hard. He gestured towards the sling on Herc's right arm. "What happened?"
"They didn't tell you?" Herc shook his head and looked mildly embarrassed. "Had a nasty one come through and hit Sydney. Bastard had a mean right hook."
He'd seen the news clips just before Stacker had landed in Sitka to whisk him away, but something in Herc's voice told Raleigh there was more to the story. "That's it, huh?"
"Well, there was a flare gun involved. Not my finest moment."
"Are you saying you shot it with a flare gun?" Raleigh tried to process that when Herc nodded. "How'd that work out for you?"
"I'm just gonna say I owe the Kaidanovskys a case of vodka because they saved my arse," Herc laughed.
"How's Chuck?" Raleigh asked before he could stop himself.
A shuttered look settled onto Herc's face. "No change," he said, voice flat. He shoved his hands deep in his pockets. "Docs say it's unlikely he'll ever wake up and I'm lucky that the 'freak accident' put his mind inside the system."
"Fuck them." The same idiots had told him for months that it was impossible for him to still be connected to Yancy after his brother had been ripped from Gipsy Danger. "Seriously, fuck them. He could wake up tomorrow. They don't know."
"Said that myself a time or two," Herc finally said, lips twisting in a wry grin.
"May I see him?"
It was hard to tell who the request surprised more, Herc or Raleigh himself. They stood there for a moment, just looking at each other before Herc rubbed his hand across his jaw. "Why?"
"I'd like to pay my respects," Raleigh said. "He's a fellow Ranger."
"Good to know you still think of yourself as such," Herc quietly said. "I reckon he'll pitch a fit at you gawking over him since he's not a, how'd he put it, a museum exhibit, but come on."
"I'm not -"
"Oh, I know, son," Herc grinned, clapping his hand on Raleigh's shoulder. "And Chuck'll be thrilled you're coming to see him, but he's a contrary little cunt, so don't be surprised at anything he says."
"I'll try to keep that in mind."
*
The only sounds in the hospital room were the quiet beeping of the heart monitor and Herc's slow, steady breathing. The man lying in the bed looked nothing like Raleigh had imagined.
Sure, he'd fully expected the ginger hair and the dusting of freckles across his nose and cheekbones, but the rest... Well, Raleigh had been prepared for Chuck to be thin and gaunt due to years of no physical activity, not to be as big as he was. "He, ah," he said finally, "he looks good."
"Thanks to Dr. Lightcap and Professor Staizen." Herc gestured to a machine in the corner that was covered with wires and connections and made zero sense to Raleigh. "They figured out a way to stimulate his muscles and keep the level of atrophy way down. About two years back, they started using it in the hospitals back home on coma patients. Getting some pretty good results."
"Yeah, I can see that."
"This way, it won't take him long to get on his feet once he wakes up," Herc said. He smiled a little as he patted Chuck's hand. "Be nice to have him physically in Striker with me."
"So, ah, it's true?" Raleigh looked from Chuck to Herc and back again. He'd heard the rumors. "He's still your co-pilot?"
"Has been since Manila."
Manila. It had been the last Jaeger drop he and Yancy had participated in before Knifehead. The city had loved them, treated them like gods, and he and Yancy had absorbed it all like it was their due.
Like the cocky assholes they'd both been.
And just a few months later, Raleigh's world had been ripped apart.
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Raleigh flinched at the new voice and tried to cover it by brushing imaginary lint from his sweater. "Ah, Chuck?"
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"It's Raleigh."
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"Chuck," Herc said, a pained look crossing his face.
"No, it's okay." Raleigh didn't know where Chuck's animosity came from, but he wasn't going to rise to it. "I worked on the Wall. Not much demand out there for a disgraced ex-Jaeger pilot who got his brother killed."
Herc's sharp inhale was loud in the sudden silence.
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Raleigh shared a look with Herc, and Herc shrugged. "And?"
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"Thank you," Raleigh managed, swallowing against the lump that formed in his throat. He'd tried to tell himself that for years, but to hear another Ranger say it...
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"I heard Trevin and Bruce went down the same..." Raking a hand through his hair, Raleigh looked around the room. He focused on the camera in the corner when Herc pointed. "They were good men."
"So was your brother," Herc murmured, patting Raleigh's shoulder.
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"Thanks," Raleigh said again, at a loss for words from Chuck's sudden about face. He didn't resist when Herc started to lead him from the room.
"And there's something else," Herc said, raising his voice and looking at ceiling. "The nosy little arsehole is always listening in, even when he shouldn't. And he can tap into any of the cameras. So don't do anything that'll embarrass you if it gets out."
"I, ah, thanks for the warning."
"Told you he was contrary. He's a good kid and smart as hell, but sometimes... Well, let's just say I wish he was here so I could give him a good, hard shaking."
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And if Herc's comments made Raleigh more than a bit paranoid, he didn't think anyone would blame him.
*
"Congratulations, kiddo, you've managed to confuse the hell out of him." Tendo dropped onto his bunk, arms crossed behind his head, and grinned up at the camera in the corner.
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"Raleigh?" Tendo arched an eyebrow when Chuck didn't immediately respond. "Talked with him at dinner, which I'm sure you already know, and he said Herc brought him by to see you. He said you were a little shit at first and then, out of nowhere, you were welcoming him back."
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"Chuck," Tendo sighed. "You know that no one thinks -"
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The abrupt shift made Tendo frown, but he went along with it. If he'd learned one thing about Chuck, it was that he would talk about things in his own time. And yeah, sometimes that meant never, but that was just Chuck.
"What do you mean?"
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"He was," Tendo quietly said.
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Chuck's observations were no more than Tendo had expected. "You read his file?"
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"Yeah. They called it ghost drifting and said the neural overload caused hallucinations."
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"Some of them, yeah," Tendo replied with a soft laugh. "So what else did you learn in your snooping?"
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"And his psych eval?" He'd seen part of Raleigh's file afterward, but it had been a very small part. The majority had been redacted, available only via the Marshal's security clearance.
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Damn, no wonder Raleigh had run.
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"No, he left," Tendo said, shaking his head.
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"Does he know all of this? About Kreiger overriding the Marshall and the psych recommendations and everything?"
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"Why's that?"
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There was no way Raleigh had read the report. Tendo had seen him once that last week of May, and the kid had been lost and gutted still. If he'd known of all the support...
"Chuck, is Raleigh asleep?"
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"No, no, just..." What he said next would land him in a huge pile of shit if the Marshal found out, but what the hell. It wasn't like they had any official chain of command aside from Pentecost himself. "Do me a favor. Put those statements on Raleigh's monitor and flag them."
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With a quick prayer that his actions didn't blow up in his face, Tendo stretched out on his bed again. "So tell me, kiddo, what'd you think?"
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"Raleigh," Tendo said in exasperated amusement.
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"Looks good though, all things considered," Tendo commented, taking care to not look up at the camera again. He scratched his chin, shrugged. "Grown into his looks. Not as pretty as he used to be, but..."
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"But?" Tendo looked towards the camera with a sly grin.
Chuck didn't answer. Tendo just waited. It was a matter of minutes before his patience paid off for him.
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"Haven't forgotten a thing, Chuckles. I just wanted to see if you were still crushing on Becket boy."
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"I won't if you do."
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*
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Raleigh jerked violently, dropping his towel and hissing as his knee connected with the bench. "Jesus Christ!"
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"Are you watching me?" He snatched up the towel and wrapped it around his hips before looking around the empty showers. When he found the camera, he glared at it. "Really?"
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"That's not the point," Raleigh muttered, grabbing another towel and dropping onto the bench. He rubbed the second towel over his head in an effort to dry his hair. "It's called privacy. I'm sure your dad taught you that when you were little."
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"I'm starting to get that." Draping the towel around his neck, Raleigh focused on the camera again. "Why're you spying on me, anyway?"
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"So you thought you'd come peep at me in the shower?" Raleigh shook his head. "You spy on everyone in here?"
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Raleigh looked down at his arm and shoulder. He touched the scars on his chest, slid his fingertips along the lines marking his arm. "Yeah, I healed up okay," he said. "You know, if you don't answer that, I'm just going to assume you're a pervert."
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Raleigh headed for the pile of newly issued clothes he'd left on another bench. "I don't know if that makes me feel better or worse."
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Raleigh let out a startled laugh. "Chuck... Stop staring at my ass."
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"Stop, stop," Raleigh said, wondering if his face was as red as it felt. How had they ended up in this conversation? He cleared his throat and dragged on his trousers, trying not to rush because he could just imagine Chuck's reaction to that. "So, uh, you just come in here to stare at my ass and, uh, my -"
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"Yeah, well, insomnia will do that to you." Raleigh dragged the sweater over his head and shoved his feet into his boots. He glanced at the door. "Can you talk anywhere?"
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"Come on then." Raleigh left the showers, hands shoved deep in his pockets, and started walking. He didn't have a particular destination in mind, but he trusted that he could find his way around - all of the Shatterdomes had been built on the same basic specs - and if he did get lost, he was sure Chuck could talk him back to somewhere familiar. "So, uh, if everyone is asleep, why -"
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"What kind of things?" Raleigh was genuinely curious. He wanted to ask about the accident, but he didn't know Chuck well enough to pry.
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"All that," Raleigh laughed. "Ten different ways, huh?"
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"You're scary."
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As if that explained everything. And given what Raleigh knew of Australia (and his memories of Herc and Scott in Manila), it probably did. "So you're a genius, huh?"
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"I bet that would make going through the Academy so much easier," Raleigh teased.
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Raleigh stopped and looked both ways down the hall. There was no one in sight. "Chuck," he said quietly, looking right at the closest camera. "Why am I here?"
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"No, not really. He just said that he needed a pilot and I was it. Asked me if I wanted to die on the Wall or in a Jaeger. It wasn't really a choice."
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"We've tried that before," Raleigh said. "It's never worked."
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"Why? I don't have a Jaeger and you don't have a co-pilot -" Raleigh halted as what he'd said hit him. Realization dawned slowly and he stared at the nearest camera with a sinking feeling in his gut.
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*
Raleigh spent the rest of the night sitting on the roof of the Shatterdome, away from cameras and speakers and prying eyes, telling himself that this was a bad idea. He couldn't let someone else in his head again.
"Yance," he whispered as he pulled his knees up and rested his forehead on them.
The grief was still a raw, aching wound inside of him. Five years had done nothing to diminish it. And now the Marshal wanted him to Drift again. Wanted him to trust someone like that, to bare his soul and lay himself open once more.
Wanted him to risk that sort of loss again, or worse, put someone else in his place.
He couldn't do it.
Falling backwards, Raleigh stretched out on the roof and counted the stars. "Yancy," he said, "what the hell do I do?"
There isn't anyone else.
Yancy's voice inside his head echoed the Marshal's words from the Wall.
It was only when dawn crept in on silent feet that he finally was ready to talk to Chuck again.
"Okay," he said as he stepped back inside, "talk to me."
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"Tell me this is a bad idea."
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"And just like that he thinks we can Drift?"
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"What?" Startled, Raleigh lifted his head and looked at the closest camera.
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"Because," Raleigh said softly, ducking his head again, "I'd rather die in a Jaeger than on that damn Wall."
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Rubbing his hands over his face, Raleigh nodded. He could do this. He owed it to Yancy to at least try. "Let's do it."
An hour later, taking Herc's and Chuck's advice - and acknowledging that his own left arm wasn't up to taking the load after Knifehead - Raleigh locked into the dominant pilot's side.
"Doing okay in there?"
"I'm good, Tendo." Closing his eyes, Raleigh tried to clear his mind. "It feels weird to be in here by myself."
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"Okay, yeah, sorry," Raleigh chuckled.
"We can give you a few if you need it," Tendo offered.
"No, I'm good. Really."
"I'll take your word for it. It's your show, Chuck."
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Raleigh frowned. "That isn't -"
"Don't," Tendo broke in, "just...don't. Just be glad you weren't here for the Great Log-In Controversy of '19."
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"One of these days I will," Tendo said, and Raleigh told himself that he really didn't want to know.
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"Preparing for Conn-Pod drop. Just sit back and enjoy the show, gentlemen."
Locks disengaged and Striker's head plummeted. Raleigh kept his eyes closed and let his body sway with the motion.
"Chuck, bring her online for me," Tendo said after the Conn-Pod fully connected with Striker's body.
Counting each breath, Raleigh listened to Chuck go through the checklist. It was all so familiar that he wanted to look over and see Yancy. He only opened his eyes when Chuck went silent.
"Still doing okay?"
"Yeah, thanks," Raleigh said, feeling anything but okay.
"Alright, initializing neural handshake in three, two, one..."
The blue-white silence of the Drift washed over Raleigh. Images flitted by, tumbling over each other - pictures of his own past, a much younger Herc, a woman who could only be Chuck's mother, Shatterdome locations, kaiju battles - and he just let them flow.
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"Right hemisphere calibrated," Raleigh said after carefully checking the display in front of him. He let out a shaky laugh. "We're drifting."
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"Neural handshake strong and holding steady at 99%. Congratulations, boys, you did it."
"So what's next?" Looking down at his hands, Raleigh saw black gloves covering his fingers and scarred white armor running up his forearms.
Wait. That wasn't right. They'd given him a new drivesuit, shiny and black. The white suit was long gone.
Without thinking, Raleigh looked to his left. And saw himself, face twisted with fear and shock, as a bestial roar echoed through his head.
He slipped sideways.
"Raleigh, talk to me," Tendo called, his voice a faint echo beneath Knifehead's unceasing roars. "You're out of alignment."
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"Yance," Raleigh breathed, perspective shifting as Knifehead's claws tore through metal and latched onto the motion rig.
Kid, listen to me -
No. Not again.
Raleigh chased the RABIT.
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"Come on, Raleigh, focus. You can do this."
The voices were a low buzz in his ears. Raleigh ignored them. Icy wind bit into him, working its way through the layers of the drivesuit, but grief was a molten core in his middle.
Just like Gipsy's reactor.
Screaming his rage at the monster in front of him - the monster who had stolen his brother from him - Raleigh lifted his arms, clenched his fists, and rotated his wrists to engage the plasma cannons. Only Gipsy's plasma cannons were gone.
She had something new - an AKM chest launcher, fully loaded. Even fucking better.
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"Abort, abort!"
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"The override isn't working!"
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Raleigh drowned in the memory of Anchorage and Yancy and Knifehead and that cold February morning.
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"We can't pull it with you in there!"
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*
Herc still couldn't think about what had almost just happened without shaking a little. "Look, Stacker," he said, hands clenched into fists. "I know you think it's best, but neither one of them is ready. Raleigh's rusty and -"
"I understand, but -"
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"Chuck -"
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"That is enough, Mr. Hansen." Stacker's voice thundered through the room. "Raleigh Becket is all we have, so I suggest you make your peace with it. You will give him the chance he deserves, or you will be stuck with me as your co-pilot and neither of us wants that. Dismissed."
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"And if I find out that you've eavesdropped on my office, I will personally watch as Mr. Choi scrubs the systems. Do I make myself clear, Ranger?"
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Herc waited a long moment, eyes focused on Stacker's desk. "You know he's right."
"Herc -"
"No, listen to me for a second," Herc said, rounding on his boss and long-time friend. "Raleigh's not ready. And I don't reckon we've got time to get him ready. So we're gonna have to suck it up, put on our big boy pants, and deal with it. But it doesn't mean we have to like it."
"I know," Stacker quietly replied as he circled the desk to stand beside Herc. "Maybe I was wrong going after him. There are others -"
"Look, I get it," Herc interrupted. "I do. I know you want to ground him. If we had any other options, I'd give the decision my full support. Hell, half the time I want to ground Chuck. And we all saw what happened out there, but you can't."
"That doesn't make it any easier."
"Stacker, we go all the way back to the beginning. We stood up to the first kaiju and kicked their arses. We've watched the next generation of Rangers come up and stand on our shoulders. That's the way it's always been and maybe that's the way it's always going to be, but we don't have to like it. We can change it, right here and now."
Herc paused and ran a hand over his head. "The way I see it - much as it kills me to say it since it's my son I'm sending out there with him - we have to get Becket back on his feet and back in that Jaeger sooner than we want to."
"That's far easier said than done."
Herc nodded. Nothing else needed to be said.
*
"Oh. My apologies, Ranger Becket. I didn't realize anyone was here."
Raleigh looked up at the voice. Dr. Gottlieb stood in the doorway, book tucked under one arm. He looked as out of place as Raleigh felt. "No, it's okay. I just..." Raleigh stood. "Come in, Doctor."
"Please, call me Hermann."
"I...yeah, sure. If you'll call me Raleigh."
Hermann nodded, a faint smile crossing his face. His eyes remained focused on the hospital bed. "Dr. Geiszler and I spent some time in Sydney over the past few years," he said, glancing at Raleigh. "Charles and I have had many conversations. He's an incredibly smart young man."
"Yeah, I kinda picked up on that," Raleigh replied. He gestured towards the chair, pleased when Hermann settled into it, and moved to lean against the wall.
"I, uh, started to read to him after the incident." Hermann held up the book in his hand, and Raleigh was startled to see it was Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. "He can read them for himself, of course, but he said it was different when I read them to him. More like his father used to do when he was a small child. We'd just finished the second book that last time we were together, so I thought we might..."
"It's been a long time since I read those."
"You're welcome to stay." Hermann paused, peered at Raleigh over his glasses. "I wasn't aware that you and Charles were friends."
"We're not," Raleigh said. He scratched his jaw, then shrugged. "Not exactly."
"So why are you here?"
Raleigh blinked, caught off guard by the question. Why was he there? As soon as he'd heard that Chuck was meeting with the Marshal and Herc, Raleigh had left the drivesuit room and headed right for the Marshal's office.
He'd arrived just in time to hear Chuck's comments.
Ignoring the pitying looks from the handful of people clustered in the hallway, Raleigh had spun on his heel and walked away without a word. After all, it wasn't like Chuck hadn't said anything that Raleigh hadn't said to himself repeatedly over the last five years.
But that didn't explain why he was there in Chuck's hospital room.
"Because I think we could be friends," he finally said. "He's an asshole, sure, but... I was, too. Before my brother died. And I just... I know I screwed up out there, trust me, I know. And I wish... Well, it doesn't matter what I wish. I just didn't think he should be alone right now."
Or perhaps it was more that Raleigh didn't want to be alone, but he didn't want to be around anyone who would try to talk to him, to tell him that things would be okay or that he was just going to get them all killed that much sooner. And maybe it was just that he'd remembered that the stakes were just as big for Chuck.
At the end of the day, Chuck wasn't just a disembodied voice in a computer. He was person who'd been ripped from himself and was just trying to make the best of a seriously fucked up situation. And, just like Raleigh, a mistake during the mission would kill him just as dead.
Hermann studied him. He wanted to say something, that much was evident by his expression, but he just nodded and opened the book. His voice was low, cultured, and far more soothing than Raleigh had expected.
"Harry Potter was a highly unusual boy in many ways. For one thing, he hated the summer holidays more than any other time of year. For another..."
*
"Chuck?" There was no answer, but Herc hadn't expected one. Not with the mood Chuck had been in earlier. "Come on, kiddo, we need to talk."
<>
"How about you talk and I'll listen this time." Herc settled into his chair and waited. With a busted collarbone, he didn't have any place he needed to be, so he could wait forever if that was what it took.
<>
"Why not?"
<>
"You said that already." Herc paused, considering his words. The wrong ones would send Chuck into a rage. Even slightly wrong ones would have him in a snit and not talking to anyone for days, and they didn't have time for that. "He's the only option we've got."
<>
"Goddamnit, shut up and listen to me," Herc snapped, and the temperature in the room dropped. He glared at the camera until he heard the click of the heater coming on. "Son, I love you, but you're a right pain in the arse a lot of the time. You need to go easy on Raleigh."
<>
"We don't have time for your bullshit. Maybe you've forgotten what it means to be truly fucking afraid because you've been out of your body so long -" And oh, those words hurt more than Herc wanted to admit, and he knew it was a low blow, but sometimes that was the only way to get through to Chuck. "Maybe you don't remember, but the rest of us do. And it's really fucking scary, okay? So cut him some slack, because he's a damn good pilot and we need him. You need him."
<>
"Not for this, Chuck," Herc sighed. Not for this, and maybe not ever again. But Herc didn't set those words free.
*
<>
"It's Raleigh," he said through clenched teeth. "And why would you want to talk to a has-been?"
<>
"Yeah, about that," Raleigh growled, turning to look directly at the camera in his room. "I heard every word. In fact, I'm pretty sure the entire 'Dome heard it all."
<>
Raleigh stopped with his mouth open. "What?"
<>
"Wow," Raleigh breathed, dropping to the edge of his bunk. "I didn't expect that from you."
<>
"Now that doesn't surprise me." Bracing his elbows on his knees, Raleigh dropped his head into his hands. "You're right, though. What happened, that was my fault. I went out of synch. I looked over and just... The right side was Yancy's, so I saw myself in the Drift, and I couldn't deal with it. It was just for a few seconds, but I couldn't stop chasing it."
<>
"Real live Drifts are different, you know that."
<>
Raleigh opened his mouth to say something, then shook his head as a wave of exhaustion swamped him. He was too tired for this, too tired to keep his thoughts coherent enough for a conversation. "Chuck, look, can we talk about all this in the morning? I'm not... I'm not mad, okay? I just need some sleep."
<>
"I know you're there," Raleigh said a few hours later. He opened his eyes to the darkness of his quarters, giving up on falling asleep again because it just wasn't going to happen.
And anyway, if he believed Dr. Gottlieb - Hermann, he reminded himself - there would be another attack in a matter of hours. A day at the most. Raleigh knew he wouldn't get any sleep for a long time.
"Chuck?"
<>
Raleigh closed his eyes again and smiled. "Good to hear your voice, kid."
<>
"I know." Rolling to his side, Raleigh propped up on one arm and reached to flip the covers back but he'd barely managed to curl his fingers around the blankets before the lights over the small sink in the corner brightened. "Thanks."
<>
"Well, thank you for saving my toes."
<>
"Nope. So...speaking of breaking things, how did your dad break his collarbone?"
<>
"Something about Striker going down in Sydney and a flare gun."
<>
"So he really did fire a flare gun at the kaiju," Raleigh said, unable to keep from grinning at the mental image of Herc Hansen standing on top of Striker Eureka with a flare gun in his hand and an incredibly pissed off kaiju in front of him.
<>
Raleigh could hear the pride in Chuck's voice, underlain with a large amount of love. He heard the same thing every single time Herc talked about Chuck. "How do you feel?"
<>
"You know what I mean."
Raleigh waited, patient, as the seconds ticked away. He didn't expect Chuck to answer - he'd become too acquainted with his personality over the last few days - but he would listen if Chuck wanted to talk.
<>
Not the response he'd hoped for, but at least Chuck hadn't retreated into the system. "Honestly? We've got three Jaegers, enough healthy pilots for two, and me. The odds aren't good."
<>
"Yeah, I suppose so," Raleigh said as he shook his head.
<>
"I'll always listen, Chuck," Raleigh said, the words slipping out before he could think about them. He swung his feet off the bed and shoved them into his boots as he reached for his shirt.
<>
Chuck's words made Raleigh freeze. "I did."
<>
"Chuck," Raleigh said, as gently as he could, wishing he was back in Chuck's room, wishing they were talking face to face instead of face to camera. "There was never a guarantee. We all accepted that the first time we stepped into a Conn-Pod. But if we can end this war, it'll be worth it, right?"
<>
"I want to come back, too," Raleigh said as he dropped back onto the edge of his bunk. He sat there for a moment before looking at the camera again. "Can I ask you something?"
<>
"Ha." Raleigh chewed the inside of his bottom lip as he considered his next words. Chuck hadn't said no, but there was still a chance he'd get pissed if Raleigh said the wrong thing. "Will you tell me what happened?"
<>
"Yeah."
<> There was a long pause as Raleigh settled back on his pillow. <>
Yancy. Just the thought of talking about him made Raleigh's throat tight and his vision shimmer. But he smiled as he scrubbed one hand across his eyes. "Yeah, Chuck," he said. "I'll tell you about him."
*
"Chuck, I don't know how the Marshal convinced everyone to go along with letting you and Becket back out there this soon, but -"
<>
Herc sighed and slumped in his chair. "You know Stacker was serious about co-piloting with you, don't you?"
<>
"So you'd rather -"
<>
Herc took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He did it again. "Chuck, I know we've had our differences, and there are things I never said, but -"
<>
"Think you could maybe leave a little bit of yourself behind this time?" Herc asked quietly, but he already knew the answer. With Chuck, it had always been all or nothing. And every time Striker deployed, every last bit of Chuck went with her...and Herc prayed for a safe return each time.
<>
"Be careful down there, son."
<>
But it wasn't them that Herc worried about - it was Chuck. He'd been in Chuck's head. And more than anything else, he knew that Chuck didn't know how to give up or surrender.
chapter 3
Part II: December 2024 - January 2025
<>
"Because the flashy suits and ties would rather trust a wall," Herc said, right hand a tight fist behind his back. "You already know this, Chuck."
<>
"None of us like it."
His gaze roamed over Chuck's body, so quiet and unmoving. Even knowing Chuck watched him through the complex-wide camera system (and fuck, the boy had become an ace at maneuvering through the systems and circuits until he had the entire Shatterdome under his control - it made the Sydney LOCCENT crew more than a little mental at times), Herc still stepped forward and covered Chuck's hand with his.
"They do your therapy this morning?"
<>
"I know that," Herc snapped before taking a deep breath. "I know that, Chuck. But you're going to wake up, and the last thing you want is another five years spent in physical therapy just so you can wipe your own arse, let alone walk. This way..."
<>
If a computer voice could sound contrite and apologetic, Chuck's did. Herc just nodded as the nurses came in to start preparing Chuck for the flight to Hong Kong. Taller now than he'd been during that first disastrous Drift, and bulked out, thanks to the physical therapy regimen, he looked as if he'd fallen into the coma just weeks ago instead of years.
"Alright, the laptop's hooked up, so you can clear out of the 'Dome system and we can get going. You ready?"
<>
"You can always stay here," Herc said as he fought to hide his smile. "Be pretty boring, though, what with everyone else heading out. And me and Striker'll be up in Hong Kong, so you'll be stuck inside."
<>
"I know you do, son," Herc laughed. "But we'll have you back in a 'Dome soon enough, and you'll have all that RAM at your fingertips again."
<>
"One time, and you're never gonna let me forget it."
*
Juggling two cups of coffee and a bagel, Tendo stepped into LOCCENT. One look at his monitor, already on and displaying data, told him that Chuck had settled into Hong Kong with no issues.
"Morning, kiddo," he said, dropping into his seat. "How're we doing?"
<>
That was Chuck-speak for 'all quiet on the Western front'. Tendo grinned. Then he looked at his monitor and groaned. "Seriously, Chuck? I thought we'd settled this last time I was in Sydney."
<>
"So watching bad Jaeger pilot porn is your solution? Can't you be more mature?"
<>
"And stop reading your damn psyche profile."
<>
Tendo tried not to laugh, but it was hard. He just managed to hang on to his control, well aware that Chuck had 'eyes' everywhere. "You grew out of puberty a few years ago. I doubt there are any chemicals still sautéing in there."
<>
Thank God that the LOCCENT was mostly deserted that early. And that the Marshal hadn't returned from the States yet. Tendo refused to think of his reaction to Chuck's totally inappropriate comments. "I see the time spent in your dad's laptop did nothing to curb your sass," he said as he studied the downloads on his monitor. "And couldn't you find something with more creative titles?"
<>
"Okay, that's just TMI," Tendo laughed. "Come on, clear this out of here. You know if the Marshal finds out, he'll make me scrub the systems again.
<>
"Chuck," Tendo said, trying (and failing, he was sure) to sound stern. "Come on."
<>
<>
<>
<>
"I take it 'Anal Danger' didn't have the Becket look-a-like?" Tendo asked before he could stop himself.
<>
Tendo ignored the jab and leaned forward, looked at the single still active command that was accompanied by a countdown clock, and tapped his screen. "Chuck, what's this?"
<>
Taking a slow sip of his coffee, Tendo looked up at the camera over his head. There was a long moment of silence.
<>
<>
"Do I want to know?"
<
>
He knew he'd regret it, but - "What's the 'Wake Up Shatterdome' protocol?"
<>
Tendo choked on his bite of bagel. "Do you want the entire 'Dome to kill you?"
<>
"That's because you're all a bunch of freaks," Tendo muttered.
*
Herc hated unpacking almost as much as he did packing. And even though it was just a few changes of clothes, his toiletries, old photos, and mementos, it was still a process. Grumbling to himself (knowing that Chuck was listening and silently laughing), he pulled out another shirt and reached for a hanger.
"Go on and say what-" He broke off as the Breach Alert sounded, klaxons wailing through the Shatterdome. The screens inside the room lit up, but Herc looked directly into the camera mounted on the wall. "Chuck, report."
<>
"Where's it heading?"
<>
"Not on my watch," Herc snarled, grabbing his jacket as he headed for the drivesuit room. "Who've we got?"
<>
"Like bloody hell we will. You ready for your last fight as an official PPDC Ranger?"
<>
*
Echo Saber is down. I repeat, Echo Saber is down. The kaiju bashed in the Conn-Pod like it was a tin can. No way they survived that.
Cherno Alpha, move in to engage and watch out for those claws. Those things are deadly.
Furious at the loss of another Jaeger and her team, Herc bit his tongue as he watched the displays in Striker's Conn-Pod. The Russian team appeared to handle whatever the kaiju threw at them, but then Herc noticed that they kept backing up. As he watched, his anger twisting in the Drift with Chuck's, Cherno battled Mutavore up to and through the Wall.
<>
Herc snorted out a laugh. "Loads safer."
Just then, Mutavore landed a blow that sent Cherno to her knees. The angry yells from the Kaidanovskys echoed through the comm.
<>
"Screw this, LOCCENT, we're moving in," Herc snarled. Damned if he was going to stand by and watch another team die. "Come on, let's get this bastard."
<>
Moving fast, Striker Eureka hit the kaiju with everything they had. Herc reared back for another blow, sting-blades snapping into place as he swung.
<>
They traded punches through the streets of downtown Sydney. Blue blood flew with each strike, and Herc grunted with the force of each impact against Striker's frame. But when Mutavore opened its mouth to roar at them (and just watching that gave Herc a sense of vertigo, because the fucker's eyes were below its mouth), Herc saw their opening. "Chuck, engage AKMs now!"
<>
Standing up straight, Herc pulled his shoulders back, feeling Striker's chest plates slide open so they could fire the missiles. Before they could launch, Mutavore turned, roared again, and leaped at them.
The vicious impact sent Striker reeling back into a building. Before the stabilizers could kick in and keep the Jaeger on her feet, Mutavore came at them again. There was no time for anything more than a stream of curses (from Herc and Chuck) before Mutavore was on them. This time, the blow slammed Herc sideways in the motion rig. His body twisted in ways that nature had never intended, muscles screaming in agony as he fought to stay upright because going down meant their deaths.
Another blow landed and he heard a sickening crack just below his right ear. Years before Chuck was born, Herc had played rugby in school, and he'd broken his collarbone during a game. This was the same exact pain.
They took another blow before Cherno could intervene.
As the battle started to move away from them, Herc cursed and pulled himself to his feet and considered his options for continuing the fight. He didn't have many. So he grabbed a flare gun. Time to do something really stupid.
*
"So much for your big, damn plan," Herc said. He sat on the edge of the hospital bed, glaring at Stacker each time he paced past the nurse adjusting the sling holding Herc's right arm.
"Perhaps not," Stacker replied, all unflappable calm.
It made Herc want to punch him. "Perhaps not?" he asked instead. "Stacker, y'got three Jaegers - and Striker's still got to be repaired - and only enough crews to pilot two of 'em. Or did you miss the fact that I'm out of the fight?"
He gestured towards the sling, but all Stacker did was look at him. Damn Poms and their stiff upper lip bullshit.
"Chuck can still pilot."
Herc laughed. He couldn't help himself. "Not without his body, he can't. Not without a co-pilot. Face it, Striker's out of the mix. You're down to two Jaegers."
"Not necessarily."
"There's no one to pilot with him."
"There's someone else who's compatible with Chuck."
"Who?" It took a few seconds, but when it hit him, his eyes went wide. "No. No fucking way. I'm not asking Scott to do this, and neither are you. He's out, and -"
"Not Scott."
The quiet, calm response stopped the flow of words. He narrowed his eyes as he tried to figure out just what was going through Stacker's head.
"There's someone else. I just have to find him. Relax, Hercules. I have this under control."
With those words, Stacker nodded and walked away, leaving Herc to wonder just what the hell was Stacker was planning. Whatever it was, something told him that Chuck wasn't going to like it.
*
<>
"If you're trying to whisper, kiddo, you're doing a bad job of it," Tendo grumbled as he rolled to his left and pulled the covers over his head.
<>
"No." Keeping his eyes closed, Tendo pulled the blanket even higher. "I'm not waking up for anything short of a Breach opening. And I don't hear any alarms."
<>
Not for anything short of a Breach opening - except that. Tendo pushed the covers away from his face and looked at the ceiling. Thank God Chuck hadn't decided to turn on the lights this time. "Why did you do that?"
<>
"Did anyone bother telling you that you're a nosy little bastard?"
<>
"The Academy -"
<>
"How's your dad?"
<>
Tendo was surprised that Chuck had allowed the change of subject, but he kept it to himself. "That's a good thing."
<>
With a sigh (and a sinking feeling), Tendo sat up and rubbed his face. "He's trying to find Raleigh Becket. Seems the two of you are Drift compatible."
Chuck didn't reply. In fact, he didn't reply for so long that Tendo started to worry. He swung his feet off his bunk and rubbed his face again before reaching to flip on the small lamp. "Chuck?"
<>
"C'mon, kiddo, talk to me." Tendo waited. And waited. And waited. "Chuck?"
There was no answer.
*
"Sorry to hear about your brother. He was a good man."
Raleigh shook Herc's extended hand. "Thank you, sir."
"Yeah, nah, mate, just Herc now." His wink pulled a small smile from Raleigh. "No official ranks anymore, no matter what Stacker says."
Raleigh made a mental note to remember that. No doubt he'd slip up and Herc would call him on it, but old habits died hard. He gestured towards the sling on Herc's right arm. "What happened?"
"They didn't tell you?" Herc shook his head and looked mildly embarrassed. "Had a nasty one come through and hit Sydney. Bastard had a mean right hook."
He'd seen the news clips just before Stacker had landed in Sitka to whisk him away, but something in Herc's voice told Raleigh there was more to the story. "That's it, huh?"
"Well, there was a flare gun involved. Not my finest moment."
"Are you saying you shot it with a flare gun?" Raleigh tried to process that when Herc nodded. "How'd that work out for you?"
"I'm just gonna say I owe the Kaidanovskys a case of vodka because they saved my arse," Herc laughed.
"How's Chuck?" Raleigh asked before he could stop himself.
A shuttered look settled onto Herc's face. "No change," he said, voice flat. He shoved his hands deep in his pockets. "Docs say it's unlikely he'll ever wake up and I'm lucky that the 'freak accident' put his mind inside the system."
"Fuck them." The same idiots had told him for months that it was impossible for him to still be connected to Yancy after his brother had been ripped from Gipsy Danger. "Seriously, fuck them. He could wake up tomorrow. They don't know."
"Said that myself a time or two," Herc finally said, lips twisting in a wry grin.
"May I see him?"
It was hard to tell who the request surprised more, Herc or Raleigh himself. They stood there for a moment, just looking at each other before Herc rubbed his hand across his jaw. "Why?"
"I'd like to pay my respects," Raleigh said. "He's a fellow Ranger."
"Good to know you still think of yourself as such," Herc quietly said. "I reckon he'll pitch a fit at you gawking over him since he's not a, how'd he put it, a museum exhibit, but come on."
"I'm not -"
"Oh, I know, son," Herc grinned, clapping his hand on Raleigh's shoulder. "And Chuck'll be thrilled you're coming to see him, but he's a contrary little cunt, so don't be surprised at anything he says."
"I'll try to keep that in mind."
*
The only sounds in the hospital room were the quiet beeping of the heart monitor and Herc's slow, steady breathing. The man lying in the bed looked nothing like Raleigh had imagined.
Sure, he'd fully expected the ginger hair and the dusting of freckles across his nose and cheekbones, but the rest... Well, Raleigh had been prepared for Chuck to be thin and gaunt due to years of no physical activity, not to be as big as he was. "He, ah," he said finally, "he looks good."
"Thanks to Dr. Lightcap and Professor Staizen." Herc gestured to a machine in the corner that was covered with wires and connections and made zero sense to Raleigh. "They figured out a way to stimulate his muscles and keep the level of atrophy way down. About two years back, they started using it in the hospitals back home on coma patients. Getting some pretty good results."
"Yeah, I can see that."
"This way, it won't take him long to get on his feet once he wakes up," Herc said. He smiled a little as he patted Chuck's hand. "Be nice to have him physically in Striker with me."
"So, ah, it's true?" Raleigh looked from Chuck to Herc and back again. He'd heard the rumors. "He's still your co-pilot?"
"Has been since Manila."
Manila. It had been the last Jaeger drop he and Yancy had participated in before Knifehead. The city had loved them, treated them like gods, and he and Yancy had absorbed it all like it was their due.
Like the cocky assholes they'd both been.
And just a few months later, Raleigh's world had been ripped apart.
<>
Raleigh flinched at the new voice and tried to cover it by brushing imaginary lint from his sweater. "Ah, Chuck?"
<>
"It's Raleigh."
<>
"Chuck," Herc said, a pained look crossing his face.
"No, it's okay." Raleigh didn't know where Chuck's animosity came from, but he wasn't going to rise to it. "I worked on the Wall. Not much demand out there for a disgraced ex-Jaeger pilot who got his brother killed."
Herc's sharp inhale was loud in the sudden silence.
<>
Raleigh shared a look with Herc, and Herc shrugged. "And?"
<>
"Thank you," Raleigh managed, swallowing against the lump that formed in his throat. He'd tried to tell himself that for years, but to hear another Ranger say it...
<>
"I heard Trevin and Bruce went down the same..." Raking a hand through his hair, Raleigh looked around the room. He focused on the camera in the corner when Herc pointed. "They were good men."
"So was your brother," Herc murmured, patting Raleigh's shoulder.
<>
"Thanks," Raleigh said again, at a loss for words from Chuck's sudden about face. He didn't resist when Herc started to lead him from the room.
"And there's something else," Herc said, raising his voice and looking at ceiling. "The nosy little arsehole is always listening in, even when he shouldn't. And he can tap into any of the cameras. So don't do anything that'll embarrass you if it gets out."
"I, ah, thanks for the warning."
"Told you he was contrary. He's a good kid and smart as hell, but sometimes... Well, let's just say I wish he was here so I could give him a good, hard shaking."
<>
And if Herc's comments made Raleigh more than a bit paranoid, he didn't think anyone would blame him.
*
"Congratulations, kiddo, you've managed to confuse the hell out of him." Tendo dropped onto his bunk, arms crossed behind his head, and grinned up at the camera in the corner.
<>
"Raleigh?" Tendo arched an eyebrow when Chuck didn't immediately respond. "Talked with him at dinner, which I'm sure you already know, and he said Herc brought him by to see you. He said you were a little shit at first and then, out of nowhere, you were welcoming him back."
<>
"Chuck," Tendo sighed. "You know that no one thinks -"
<>
The abrupt shift made Tendo frown, but he went along with it. If he'd learned one thing about Chuck, it was that he would talk about things in his own time. And yeah, sometimes that meant never, but that was just Chuck.
"What do you mean?"
<>
"He was," Tendo quietly said.
<>
Chuck's observations were no more than Tendo had expected. "You read his file?"
<>
"Yeah. They called it ghost drifting and said the neural overload caused hallucinations."
<>
"Some of them, yeah," Tendo replied with a soft laugh. "So what else did you learn in your snooping?"
<>
"And his psych eval?" He'd seen part of Raleigh's file afterward, but it had been a very small part. The majority had been redacted, available only via the Marshal's security clearance.
<>
Damn, no wonder Raleigh had run.
<>
"No, he left," Tendo said, shaking his head.
<>
"Does he know all of this? About Kreiger overriding the Marshall and the psych recommendations and everything?"
<>
"Why's that?"
<>
There was no way Raleigh had read the report. Tendo had seen him once that last week of May, and the kid had been lost and gutted still. If he'd known of all the support...
"Chuck, is Raleigh asleep?"
<>
"No, no, just..." What he said next would land him in a huge pile of shit if the Marshal found out, but what the hell. It wasn't like they had any official chain of command aside from Pentecost himself. "Do me a favor. Put those statements on Raleigh's monitor and flag them."
<>
With a quick prayer that his actions didn't blow up in his face, Tendo stretched out on his bed again. "So tell me, kiddo, what'd you think?"
<>
"Raleigh," Tendo said in exasperated amusement.
<>
"Looks good though, all things considered," Tendo commented, taking care to not look up at the camera again. He scratched his chin, shrugged. "Grown into his looks. Not as pretty as he used to be, but..."
<>
"But?" Tendo looked towards the camera with a sly grin.
Chuck didn't answer. Tendo just waited. It was a matter of minutes before his patience paid off for him.
<> Tendo pressed his lips tightly together to keep from smiling when Chuck paused. <>
"Haven't forgotten a thing, Chuckles. I just wanted to see if you were still crushing on Becket boy."
<>
"I won't if you do."
<>
*
<>
Raleigh jerked violently, dropping his towel and hissing as his knee connected with the bench. "Jesus Christ!"
<>
"Are you watching me?" He snatched up the towel and wrapped it around his hips before looking around the empty showers. When he found the camera, he glared at it. "Really?"
<>
"That's not the point," Raleigh muttered, grabbing another towel and dropping onto the bench. He rubbed the second towel over his head in an effort to dry his hair. "It's called privacy. I'm sure your dad taught you that when you were little."
<>
"I'm starting to get that." Draping the towel around his neck, Raleigh focused on the camera again. "Why're you spying on me, anyway?"
<>
"So you thought you'd come peep at me in the shower?" Raleigh shook his head. "You spy on everyone in here?"
<>
Raleigh looked down at his arm and shoulder. He touched the scars on his chest, slid his fingertips along the lines marking his arm. "Yeah, I healed up okay," he said. "You know, if you don't answer that, I'm just going to assume you're a pervert."
<>
Raleigh headed for the pile of newly issued clothes he'd left on another bench. "I don't know if that makes me feel better or worse."
<>
Raleigh let out a startled laugh. "Chuck... Stop staring at my ass."
<>
"Stop, stop," Raleigh said, wondering if his face was as red as it felt. How had they ended up in this conversation? He cleared his throat and dragged on his trousers, trying not to rush because he could just imagine Chuck's reaction to that. "So, uh, you just come in here to stare at my ass and, uh, my -"
<>
"Yeah, well, insomnia will do that to you." Raleigh dragged the sweater over his head and shoved his feet into his boots. He glanced at the door. "Can you talk anywhere?"
<>
"Come on then." Raleigh left the showers, hands shoved deep in his pockets, and started walking. He didn't have a particular destination in mind, but he trusted that he could find his way around - all of the Shatterdomes had been built on the same basic specs - and if he did get lost, he was sure Chuck could talk him back to somewhere familiar. "So, uh, if everyone is asleep, why -"
<>
"What kind of things?" Raleigh was genuinely curious. He wanted to ask about the accident, but he didn't know Chuck well enough to pry.
<>
"All that," Raleigh laughed. "Ten different ways, huh?"
<>
"You're scary."
<>
As if that explained everything. And given what Raleigh knew of Australia (and his memories of Herc and Scott in Manila), it probably did. "So you're a genius, huh?"
<>
"I bet that would make going through the Academy so much easier," Raleigh teased.
<>
Raleigh stopped and looked both ways down the hall. There was no one in sight. "Chuck," he said quietly, looking right at the closest camera. "Why am I here?"
<>
"No, not really. He just said that he needed a pilot and I was it. Asked me if I wanted to die on the Wall or in a Jaeger. It wasn't really a choice."
<>
"We've tried that before," Raleigh said. "It's never worked."
<>
"Why? I don't have a Jaeger and you don't have a co-pilot -" Raleigh halted as what he'd said hit him. Realization dawned slowly and he stared at the nearest camera with a sinking feeling in his gut.
<>
*
Raleigh spent the rest of the night sitting on the roof of the Shatterdome, away from cameras and speakers and prying eyes, telling himself that this was a bad idea. He couldn't let someone else in his head again.
"Yance," he whispered as he pulled his knees up and rested his forehead on them.
The grief was still a raw, aching wound inside of him. Five years had done nothing to diminish it. And now the Marshal wanted him to Drift again. Wanted him to trust someone like that, to bare his soul and lay himself open once more.
Wanted him to risk that sort of loss again, or worse, put someone else in his place.
He couldn't do it.
Falling backwards, Raleigh stretched out on the roof and counted the stars. "Yancy," he said, "what the hell do I do?"
There isn't anyone else.
Yancy's voice inside his head echoed the Marshal's words from the Wall.
It was only when dawn crept in on silent feet that he finally was ready to talk to Chuck again.
"Okay," he said as he stepped back inside, "talk to me."
<>
"Tell me this is a bad idea."
<>
"And just like that he thinks we can Drift?"
<>
"What?" Startled, Raleigh lifted his head and looked at the closest camera.
<>
"Because," Raleigh said softly, ducking his head again, "I'd rather die in a Jaeger than on that damn Wall."
<>
Rubbing his hands over his face, Raleigh nodded. He could do this. He owed it to Yancy to at least try. "Let's do it."
An hour later, taking Herc's and Chuck's advice - and acknowledging that his own left arm wasn't up to taking the load after Knifehead - Raleigh locked into the dominant pilot's side.
"Doing okay in there?"
"I'm good, Tendo." Closing his eyes, Raleigh tried to clear his mind. "It feels weird to be in here by myself."
<>
"Okay, yeah, sorry," Raleigh chuckled.
"We can give you a few if you need it," Tendo offered.
"No, I'm good. Really."
"I'll take your word for it. It's your show, Chuck."
<>
Raleigh frowned. "That isn't -"
"Don't," Tendo broke in, "just...don't. Just be glad you weren't here for the Great Log-In Controversy of '19."
<>
"One of these days I will," Tendo said, and Raleigh told himself that he really didn't want to know.
<>
"Preparing for Conn-Pod drop. Just sit back and enjoy the show, gentlemen."
Locks disengaged and Striker's head plummeted. Raleigh kept his eyes closed and let his body sway with the motion.
"Chuck, bring her online for me," Tendo said after the Conn-Pod fully connected with Striker's body.
Counting each breath, Raleigh listened to Chuck go through the checklist. It was all so familiar that he wanted to look over and see Yancy. He only opened his eyes when Chuck went silent.
"Still doing okay?"
"Yeah, thanks," Raleigh said, feeling anything but okay.
"Alright, initializing neural handshake in three, two, one..."
The blue-white silence of the Drift washed over Raleigh. Images flitted by, tumbling over each other - pictures of his own past, a much younger Herc, a woman who could only be Chuck's mother, Shatterdome locations, kaiju battles - and he just let them flow.
<>
"Right hemisphere calibrated," Raleigh said after carefully checking the display in front of him. He let out a shaky laugh. "We're drifting."
<>
"Neural handshake strong and holding steady at 99%. Congratulations, boys, you did it."
"So what's next?" Looking down at his hands, Raleigh saw black gloves covering his fingers and scarred white armor running up his forearms.
Wait. That wasn't right. They'd given him a new drivesuit, shiny and black. The white suit was long gone.
Without thinking, Raleigh looked to his left. And saw himself, face twisted with fear and shock, as a bestial roar echoed through his head.
He slipped sideways.
"Raleigh, talk to me," Tendo called, his voice a faint echo beneath Knifehead's unceasing roars. "You're out of alignment."
<>
"Yance," Raleigh breathed, perspective shifting as Knifehead's claws tore through metal and latched onto the motion rig.
Kid, listen to me -
No. Not again.
Raleigh chased the RABIT.
<>
"Come on, Raleigh, focus. You can do this."
The voices were a low buzz in his ears. Raleigh ignored them. Icy wind bit into him, working its way through the layers of the drivesuit, but grief was a molten core in his middle.
Just like Gipsy's reactor.
Screaming his rage at the monster in front of him - the monster who had stolen his brother from him - Raleigh lifted his arms, clenched his fists, and rotated his wrists to engage the plasma cannons. Only Gipsy's plasma cannons were gone.
She had something new - an AKM chest launcher, fully loaded. Even fucking better.
<>
"Abort, abort!"
<>
"The override isn't working!"
<>
Raleigh drowned in the memory of Anchorage and Yancy and Knifehead and that cold February morning.
<
>
"We can't pull it with you in there!"
<>
*
Herc still couldn't think about what had almost just happened without shaking a little. "Look, Stacker," he said, hands clenched into fists. "I know you think it's best, but neither one of them is ready. Raleigh's rusty and -"
"I understand, but -"
<>
"Chuck -"
<>
"That is enough, Mr. Hansen." Stacker's voice thundered through the room. "Raleigh Becket is all we have, so I suggest you make your peace with it. You will give him the chance he deserves, or you will be stuck with me as your co-pilot and neither of us wants that. Dismissed."
<>
"And if I find out that you've eavesdropped on my office, I will personally watch as Mr. Choi scrubs the systems. Do I make myself clear, Ranger?"
<>
Herc waited a long moment, eyes focused on Stacker's desk. "You know he's right."
"Herc -"
"No, listen to me for a second," Herc said, rounding on his boss and long-time friend. "Raleigh's not ready. And I don't reckon we've got time to get him ready. So we're gonna have to suck it up, put on our big boy pants, and deal with it. But it doesn't mean we have to like it."
"I know," Stacker quietly replied as he circled the desk to stand beside Herc. "Maybe I was wrong going after him. There are others -"
"Look, I get it," Herc interrupted. "I do. I know you want to ground him. If we had any other options, I'd give the decision my full support. Hell, half the time I want to ground Chuck. And we all saw what happened out there, but you can't."
"That doesn't make it any easier."
"Stacker, we go all the way back to the beginning. We stood up to the first kaiju and kicked their arses. We've watched the next generation of Rangers come up and stand on our shoulders. That's the way it's always been and maybe that's the way it's always going to be, but we don't have to like it. We can change it, right here and now."
Herc paused and ran a hand over his head. "The way I see it - much as it kills me to say it since it's my son I'm sending out there with him - we have to get Becket back on his feet and back in that Jaeger sooner than we want to."
"That's far easier said than done."
Herc nodded. Nothing else needed to be said.
*
"Oh. My apologies, Ranger Becket. I didn't realize anyone was here."
Raleigh looked up at the voice. Dr. Gottlieb stood in the doorway, book tucked under one arm. He looked as out of place as Raleigh felt. "No, it's okay. I just..." Raleigh stood. "Come in, Doctor."
"Please, call me Hermann."
"I...yeah, sure. If you'll call me Raleigh."
Hermann nodded, a faint smile crossing his face. His eyes remained focused on the hospital bed. "Dr. Geiszler and I spent some time in Sydney over the past few years," he said, glancing at Raleigh. "Charles and I have had many conversations. He's an incredibly smart young man."
"Yeah, I kinda picked up on that," Raleigh replied. He gestured towards the chair, pleased when Hermann settled into it, and moved to lean against the wall.
"I, uh, started to read to him after the incident." Hermann held up the book in his hand, and Raleigh was startled to see it was Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. "He can read them for himself, of course, but he said it was different when I read them to him. More like his father used to do when he was a small child. We'd just finished the second book that last time we were together, so I thought we might..."
"It's been a long time since I read those."
"You're welcome to stay." Hermann paused, peered at Raleigh over his glasses. "I wasn't aware that you and Charles were friends."
"We're not," Raleigh said. He scratched his jaw, then shrugged. "Not exactly."
"So why are you here?"
Raleigh blinked, caught off guard by the question. Why was he there? As soon as he'd heard that Chuck was meeting with the Marshal and Herc, Raleigh had left the drivesuit room and headed right for the Marshal's office.
He'd arrived just in time to hear Chuck's comments.
Ignoring the pitying looks from the handful of people clustered in the hallway, Raleigh had spun on his heel and walked away without a word. After all, it wasn't like Chuck hadn't said anything that Raleigh hadn't said to himself repeatedly over the last five years.
But that didn't explain why he was there in Chuck's hospital room.
"Because I think we could be friends," he finally said. "He's an asshole, sure, but... I was, too. Before my brother died. And I just... I know I screwed up out there, trust me, I know. And I wish... Well, it doesn't matter what I wish. I just didn't think he should be alone right now."
Or perhaps it was more that Raleigh didn't want to be alone, but he didn't want to be around anyone who would try to talk to him, to tell him that things would be okay or that he was just going to get them all killed that much sooner. And maybe it was just that he'd remembered that the stakes were just as big for Chuck.
At the end of the day, Chuck wasn't just a disembodied voice in a computer. He was person who'd been ripped from himself and was just trying to make the best of a seriously fucked up situation. And, just like Raleigh, a mistake during the mission would kill him just as dead.
Hermann studied him. He wanted to say something, that much was evident by his expression, but he just nodded and opened the book. His voice was low, cultured, and far more soothing than Raleigh had expected.
"Harry Potter was a highly unusual boy in many ways. For one thing, he hated the summer holidays more than any other time of year. For another..."
*
"Chuck?" There was no answer, but Herc hadn't expected one. Not with the mood Chuck had been in earlier. "Come on, kiddo, we need to talk."
<>
"How about you talk and I'll listen this time." Herc settled into his chair and waited. With a busted collarbone, he didn't have any place he needed to be, so he could wait forever if that was what it took.
<>
"Why not?"
<>
"You said that already." Herc paused, considering his words. The wrong ones would send Chuck into a rage. Even slightly wrong ones would have him in a snit and not talking to anyone for days, and they didn't have time for that. "He's the only option we've got."
<>
"Goddamnit, shut up and listen to me," Herc snapped, and the temperature in the room dropped. He glared at the camera until he heard the click of the heater coming on. "Son, I love you, but you're a right pain in the arse a lot of the time. You need to go easy on Raleigh."
<>
"We don't have time for your bullshit. Maybe you've forgotten what it means to be truly fucking afraid because you've been out of your body so long -" And oh, those words hurt more than Herc wanted to admit, and he knew it was a low blow, but sometimes that was the only way to get through to Chuck. "Maybe you don't remember, but the rest of us do. And it's really fucking scary, okay? So cut him some slack, because he's a damn good pilot and we need him. You need him."
<>
"Not for this, Chuck," Herc sighed. Not for this, and maybe not ever again. But Herc didn't set those words free.
*
<>
"It's Raleigh," he said through clenched teeth. "And why would you want to talk to a has-been?"
<>
"Yeah, about that," Raleigh growled, turning to look directly at the camera in his room. "I heard every word. In fact, I'm pretty sure the entire 'Dome heard it all."
<>
Raleigh stopped with his mouth open. "What?"
<>
"Wow," Raleigh breathed, dropping to the edge of his bunk. "I didn't expect that from you."
<>
"Now that doesn't surprise me." Bracing his elbows on his knees, Raleigh dropped his head into his hands. "You're right, though. What happened, that was my fault. I went out of synch. I looked over and just... The right side was Yancy's, so I saw myself in the Drift, and I couldn't deal with it. It was just for a few seconds, but I couldn't stop chasing it."
<>
"Real live Drifts are different, you know that."
<>
Raleigh opened his mouth to say something, then shook his head as a wave of exhaustion swamped him. He was too tired for this, too tired to keep his thoughts coherent enough for a conversation. "Chuck, look, can we talk about all this in the morning? I'm not... I'm not mad, okay? I just need some sleep."
<>
"I know you're there," Raleigh said a few hours later. He opened his eyes to the darkness of his quarters, giving up on falling asleep again because it just wasn't going to happen.
And anyway, if he believed Dr. Gottlieb - Hermann, he reminded himself - there would be another attack in a matter of hours. A day at the most. Raleigh knew he wouldn't get any sleep for a long time.
"Chuck?"
<>
Raleigh closed his eyes again and smiled. "Good to hear your voice, kid."
<>
"I know." Rolling to his side, Raleigh propped up on one arm and reached to flip the covers back but he'd barely managed to curl his fingers around the blankets before the lights over the small sink in the corner brightened. "Thanks."
<>
"Well, thank you for saving my toes."
<>
"Nope. So...speaking of breaking things, how did your dad break his collarbone?"
<>
"Something about Striker going down in Sydney and a flare gun."
<>
"So he really did fire a flare gun at the kaiju," Raleigh said, unable to keep from grinning at the mental image of Herc Hansen standing on top of Striker Eureka with a flare gun in his hand and an incredibly pissed off kaiju in front of him.
<>
Raleigh could hear the pride in Chuck's voice, underlain with a large amount of love. He heard the same thing every single time Herc talked about Chuck. "How do you feel?"
<>
"You know what I mean."
Raleigh waited, patient, as the seconds ticked away. He didn't expect Chuck to answer - he'd become too acquainted with his personality over the last few days - but he would listen if Chuck wanted to talk.
<>
Not the response he'd hoped for, but at least Chuck hadn't retreated into the system. "Honestly? We've got three Jaegers, enough healthy pilots for two, and me. The odds aren't good."
<>
"Yeah, I suppose so," Raleigh said as he shook his head.
<>
"I'll always listen, Chuck," Raleigh said, the words slipping out before he could think about them. He swung his feet off the bed and shoved them into his boots as he reached for his shirt.
<>
Chuck's words made Raleigh freeze. "I did."
<>
"Chuck," Raleigh said, as gently as he could, wishing he was back in Chuck's room, wishing they were talking face to face instead of face to camera. "There was never a guarantee. We all accepted that the first time we stepped into a Conn-Pod. But if we can end this war, it'll be worth it, right?"
<>
"I want to come back, too," Raleigh said as he dropped back onto the edge of his bunk. He sat there for a moment before looking at the camera again. "Can I ask you something?"
<>
"Ha." Raleigh chewed the inside of his bottom lip as he considered his next words. Chuck hadn't said no, but there was still a chance he'd get pissed if Raleigh said the wrong thing. "Will you tell me what happened?"
<>
"Yeah."
<> There was a long pause as Raleigh settled back on his pillow. <>
Yancy. Just the thought of talking about him made Raleigh's throat tight and his vision shimmer. But he smiled as he scrubbed one hand across his eyes. "Yeah, Chuck," he said. "I'll tell you about him."
*
"Chuck, I don't know how the Marshal convinced everyone to go along with letting you and Becket back out there this soon, but -"
<>
Herc sighed and slumped in his chair. "You know Stacker was serious about co-piloting with you, don't you?"
<>
"So you'd rather -"
<>
Herc took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He did it again. "Chuck, I know we've had our differences, and there are things I never said, but -"
<>
"Think you could maybe leave a little bit of yourself behind this time?" Herc asked quietly, but he already knew the answer. With Chuck, it had always been all or nothing. And every time Striker deployed, every last bit of Chuck went with her...and Herc prayed for a safe return each time.
<>
"Be careful down there, son."
<>
But it wasn't them that Herc worried about - it was Chuck. He'd been in Chuck's head. And more than anything else, he knew that Chuck didn't know how to give up or surrender.
chapter 3