Fic: You Said That it Would (Now Everything Should be all Right)
Title: You Said that it Would (Now Everything Should be all Right)
rating: NC-17
word count: ~3,000
summary: Kurt and Blaine receive their college acceptance letters in the mail.
Author's note: this was entitled 'klaineporn.wps' until the boys had to go and get feelings. Also, please disregard Kurt and Rachel's discussion about New York during their breakfast at Tiffany's and how Blaine factors in. Title taken from Flogging Molly's "If I Ever Leave This World Alive".
buzzbuzz
buzzbuzz
Kurt rolls over, cracks open a sleepy eye and sees his phone lit up with a text message. It’s early on Saturday morning, much earlier than any of his friends from glee club would be texting him. He curls deeper into his blankets and reaches out for his phone. He smiles and rubs the sleep out of his eyes.
From: Blaine
Got my college acceptance in. Come over? Parents just left for the weekend.
They had plans for the afternoon anyway. When Blaine found out his parents were taking a weekend trip to Columbus he had invited Kurt over right away. But this, this text about college and the future makes Kurt’s breath tangle in his throat. They had mutually decided not to tell each other about which colleges they were applying to. They had, somewhat naively, decided that they were mature enough to know that their education came first, that going to school and getting a degree without anything impacting their decision was the smart thing to do.
Kurt had gotten his acceptance letter to Parsons in the mail a week before. Small black writing on thin white paper; Dear Mr. Hummel. Congratulations! We look forward to seeing you in the fall at The New School for Design and welcome to New York City. Kurt had read the first sentence over and over, not believing it was real. New York was everything he wanted to be, but it was difficult keeping it from Blaine. He was nearly bursting at the seams to tell him, but he knew he had to wait. They agreed to wait until they both got their letters in the mail to reveal which schools they were going to.
To: Blaine
Of course. Let me shower and pull myself together and I’ll come over.
Kurt puts the phone down on his nightstand before going into his closet to pick out an outfit. His fingers nervously pick through the clothes, lightly brushing over what seems like every shirt in his wardrobe, but he can’t concentrate. His nerves are bundled up and all he can think about is what his and Blaine’s future might be. When he realizes he’s spent twenty minutes staring at the same pair of dark denim jeans, he takes a deep breath and reaches into his closet.
---
The car ride over to Blaine’s goes by quickly with so much on Kurt’s mind. He’s thinking of all the possibilities. Maybe Blaine got into NYU. Kurt thinks about going to school in the same city, sharing a horribly tiny apartment somewhere in between both of their schools and commuting on the subway to and from work, maybe at a clothing shop or a café. He smiles at how absolutely perfect that sounds. His mind then wonders to other options; what if Blaine’s love of coffee takes him to a school in Seattle, or worse, maybe he chose to study abroad. Kurt feels his stomach tighten, feeling sick at the thought that Blaine might be somewhere that’s not there, with Kurt.
The black SUV pulls up Blaine’s short driveway and Kurt parks behind Blaine‘s car. He hops down and draws a heart on Blaine’s windshield in the light covering of snow that had started falling on Kurt’s drive over. He writes Kurt + Blaine on the window until his fingers are red and frozen.
He makes his way up the front walk and quickly knocks on the door, blowing lightly into his hands to warm them up while he waits for Blaine to answer. When Blaine opens the door he looks entirely casual, faded denim and a paper thin Buckeyes t-shirt. His socked feet shuffle to the side, allowing Kurt to slip in the door. Blaine brushes the snow flakes off of Kurt’s shoulder and hangs up his jacket. They both stare at each other, not knowing what to say. Somewhere off in the formal living room a clock chimes and it seems to snap them both out of their haze.
“So, we could go upstairs?” Blaine asks and Kurt’s not sure why it’s a question. He nods lightly, walking the path to Blaine’s bedroom that he’s taken so many times before. But it’s never been like this. It’s never felt like his life depended on it.
When they get to Blaine’s room, Blaine makes his way over to his laptop to turn off the music that’s playing softly. If the mood were different Kurt would have made fun of the Top 40 junk coming out of the speakers. Almost a year together and Kurt still hasn’t managed to delete Katy Perry from Blaine’s iTunes. Well, besides my missing puzzle piece.
Kurt glances at Blaine’s desk while he powers down his laptop and notices a large manila envelope. He wills his eyes to see through the thick paper, read some amazing words like ‘New York’ or ‘Boston’ or ‘Philadelphia’. Somewhere that won’t make Kurt’s heart hurt. Somewhere that’s only a car ride away and not, perhaps, on the other side of the world. Kurt needs Blaine with him, and as much as that terrifies him, he believes it with everything he has inside.
“So how do you want to do this?” Blaine asks, bouncing slightly from foot to foot. He makes his way over to the bed and Kurt follows him. They both sit down, their legs wound like pretzels, knees touching as their only point of contact.
“Um --” Kurt clears his throat. “Just, on the count of three?”
Blaine breathes in deeply and holds in his eyes shut for only a second. “Okay. One --”
Kurt’s grip tightens on the comforter, knuckles turning white.
“Two --”
Kurt swallows the lump out of his throat, know he’ll have to reveal their future in a matter of seconds.
“Three --”
please
“Parsons,”
“Stanford,” they say simultaneously. Kurt feels his face drops before he can stop it. There’s a ringing in his ears, but he can’t actually hear anything. His vision blurs before going sharply back into focus. California. Blaine’s going to school in California. An entire country is going to separate them for four years.
“Well, congratulations,” Blaine tries. Kurt can hear the conflict in his voice. He knows Blaine is excited for him, to know that the person he loves is going to live out his dream, but the reality is hitting him hard. They missed each other during the end of their junior year, before Blaine had transferred to McKinley to be with Kurt. And that was only a two hour car ride. How were they ever going to manage cross country?
They’ve somehow shifted during the quiet minutes, although neither one of them remembers doing it. They’re sitting awkwardly on the bed, Blaine by the headboard and Kurt on the other end. They’re not sure what to say next; what could come next? Kurt redirects his eyes down to the patchwork blanket covering the foot of Blaine’s bed, his fingers counting the light blue and white squares. The blanket looks a hundred years old, fraying at the ends and the off-white coloring definitely more off than white.
“My Nana made that for me. I’ve had it since the day I was born. I just can’t seem to part with it,” Blaine explains, his voice sounding strange in the empty air.
“Can’t seem to part with it,” Kurt murmurs his repetition, saying so much with just that sentence. He hears Blaine let out what sounds like a sob and Kurt looks up in time to see Blaine’s arms crossed on his knees, his head dropped in defeat.
“I don’t know what to do,” Blaine says honestly. Kurt’s never heard him sound this broken before. Not when they sat down to coffee for the very first time, what seems like forever ago, when Blaine spoke about the bullying at his old high school; not when Blaine admitted why he was fearful of prom and what happened to him at that Sadie Hawkins dance. There was always an undercurrent of strength to Blaine’s voice that was so obviously missing right now.
The space between them feels infinite, but Kurt slowly lessens the space, crawling up to meet Blaine on the end other of the bed. Blaine looks up at him, so much written in his big eyes, looking as if he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. Kurt doesn’t know what to say, knows there aren’t really any words for them right now. So he just kisses Blaine, slowly and surely, letting his touch speak for him. When Blaine kisses back, Kurt feels his heart breaking and being put back together all at once.
The kiss is nothing but lips and pressure at first, just feeling the weight of each other. Blaine is sitting with his back pressed against the headboard and Kurt pressing into his chest. Kurt’s straddling Blaine’s lap, most of his weight on Blaine’s thighs, and his arms draped across Blaine’s shoulders. Kurt feels pressure the size of Blaine’s hands on both sides of his hips and his mouth falls open, inviting Blaine inside. It’s hungry and raw and passionate. It feels like the only way they can express themselves right now when words would fail them. They only have right here, right now. Because who knows what the end of summer will bring, and although that seems like a world away, it’s closer than they want to admit.
They kiss until it feels like the air has been sucked out of their lungs, but they don’t stop. Kurt’s hips have been moving, just slightly, until he’s made his way further up Blaine’s thighs. Their hips meet and it’s the only moment when their kiss fumbles. Kurt gasps, unexpected pleasure shooting through him. Blaine shifts a little until Kurt’s full weight is resting on him and just thrusts up. Kurt doesn’t trust his voice, so he lets his lips attack Blaine’s, telling him everything he needs to know.
There will no doubt be purple and red marks along Blaine’s shoulder tomorrow from Kurt’s grip, but Kurt can’t bring himself to care because even between the layers of jean, it feels amazing. Kurt prides himself on having decent control, being able to sense when he’s close to the edge and move away to let them cool off. But he’s spiraling closer and closer and he can’t seem to stop it. It feels so good, so right, and he starts rocking his hips faster, meeting Blaine’s equally frantic thrusts.
“So close, Blaine,” Kurt whispers, hands moving up and down and around Blaine’s back.
“Yeah, Kurt. So hot when you’re like this, fuck. Wanna be inside you,” Blaine mumbles, words falling out of his mouth before he can stop them, without actually thinking about what he’s saying. Kurt groans and nods his head, biting on his lower lip and slowing his hips until they come to a complete stop.
Blaine tugs at the bottom of his shirt and easily lifts it up and over his head, leaving it to fall somewhere beside his bed. He pops the button out of his well-worn jeans and slides them down, along with his boxers, in one push. Kurt has seen Blaine naked plenty of times, more times than he can possibly count, but his breath still catches in his throat every time.
They switch spots, Kurt now laying on his back, his head resting in Blaine’s fluffy pillows. His oversized sweater is easily removed, but when Blaine gets to his jeans with their button fly, he makes an aggravated noise.
“Six buttons? Seriously, Kurt?” and Kurt just laughs, because this is the Blaine he knows and loves. He reaches his hands down and un-buttons five of the six before Blaine swats his hands away and finishes the last button. Kurt’s pants are tight, of course, and it’s a bit of a struggle for Blaine to pull Kurt’s pants over his hips, but he finally does and then they’re tossed to the side along with Kurt’s underwear. They both just take a moment to stare, to take in what’s about to happen.
Blaine makes the first move, reaching across Kurt’s body and to his night stand drawer. He pulls out a light blue bottle and squeezes out some of the liquid onto his fingers. Blaine places feather-light kisses all along the inside of Kurt’s thigh and he pushes a finger inside of Kurt. Kurt sighs happily and just lets the feeling wash over him. They don’t do this often, being teenagers living at home really puts a damper on one’s sex life. But when they do, it’s like the first time all over again. Kurt’s a bundle of nerves and Blaine’s constantly whispering for Kurt’s reassurance. Kurt only slightly winces with he feels a third finger pushing against him, but he welcomes it, needs to feel something real in this moment.
“Can I, please? Kurt, please,” Blaine says as his fingers slowly move in and out of Kurt. Kurt can tell Blaine’s using every ounce of control he has in him to keep himself from going too fast. But it’s what Kurt wants, what he needs, so even though he doesn’t feel completely stretched out, he nods his head.
The blunt pressure builds to a steady burn as Blaine slowly pushes in. Kurt closes his eyes and just feels; feels the dip in the bed where Blaine’s hands are holding his weight; feels the unbelievably wonderful stretching of Blaine inside of him; feels Blaine’s breath ghost across his body.
“I have to -- please, Kurt. I have -- move, I gotta move,” Blaine mumbles bits and pieces of sentences strung together. Kurt tries to speak, to tell Blaine that he can do whatever he wants, but the words die on his lips. So he just wraps his arms around Blaine’s shoulders and arches up.
“God, feels so good. Always so good,” Blaine groans. He moves slowly at first and Kurt can’t believe how absolutely amazing this feels, how amazing this always feels. Whatever discomfort Kurt felt minutes before is gone now, replaced with the wonderful push-and-pull of Blaine.
“Faster, Blaine. Please,” Kurt whispers, fingers tangled together around Blaine’s neck. Blaine’s head drops slightly and Kurt thinks he can feel it in his whole body when Blaine moans his response, their bodies vibrating when Blaine’s hips start snapping forward.
Kurt’s fingers are digging deep into Blaine’s back, trying to hold on to something, anything. He strains his neck up, rubbing his forehead to Blaine’s, sweat mingling together. He feels Blaine’s breath across his face, but he can’t pick up which are words and which are simply sounds falling out of his mouth. There really aren’t any words to describe how amazing this feels, his boyfriend heavy on top of him, chests pressed together, hips falling back and coming together again. He feels like Blaine is all around him, not knowing where he ends and where Blaine begins. Kurt tries to focus in on something, tries to pinpoint exactly where this pleasure is coming from, but he can’t tell if it’s from the fingers digging into his hips, or the lips on his neck, or the sensation of being completely filled by the person he loves.
Blaine’s hands fumble, one reaching for Kurt’s cock and the other placed beside his shoulders for balance. “Kurt-” Blaine manages, teeth clenched tightly together. “You gotta -- I can’t -- please,” and Kurt understands perfectly.
Blaine’s hand speeds up, trying to keep in time with his thrusts, but not really achieving it. His grip is too loose on Kurt and under normal circumstances, it wouldn’t get Kurt there. But these aren’t normal circumstances. His boyfriend is panting in his ear Kurt Kurt Kurt over and over, trying to concentrate on not ending this before Kurt comes. But Kurt’s close, so close, and he wants Blaine to come, needs to see him come undone. So he tells him, “Blaine, Blaine. It’s okay. Let go.”
“Gonna come, Kurt, fuck,” Blaine’s hips stutter once, twice, and then push all the way in and his mouth drops open. The look on Blaine’s face, the soft whining noise that bubbles out from the back of his throat is enough for Kurt, heat exploding throughout his body and everything going black. He feels like every last one of his nerve endings has been zapped with this pleasure-perfect electricity and there’s nothing he can do but close his eyes and arch up into it.
Blaine slows above him until he’s come to a complete stop, a look of pure bliss etched across his features. He removes his hand from Kurt’s dick and pauses momentarily before slightly shrugging and wiping his hand across his stomach. Kurt’s eyes widen, saving that mental image for later, before untangling his leg’s from Blaine’s so he can pull out. He rolls off of Kurt slowly, as if his blood has turned into lead, and cuddles up beside him.
“We should probably shower, or at least grab a tissue or something,” Kurt says, his voice low and scratchy.
Blaine’s face is buried in Kurt’s chest and says something that resembles, “in a minute,” and Kurt can’t really argue with that.
They lay together and Kurt knows they’ll have to separate soon, across the room to clean up, and then across the country to learn everything life has in store for them. He knows they have to talk about it, discuss how it could ever possibly work 3,000 miles apart. When they have a three hour time difference and nine wide open states between them. How they could stay true for four years of their lives without touching, without holding, without breathing the same air. And then --
“I’ll love you forever,” Blaine mumbles, eyelashes closed and sleep clogging his voice. Kurt’s arm tightens around Blaine, pulling him closer until he can feel Blaine’s heart beating against his skin. He doesn’t say anything back, but he doesn’t have to. Blaine knows, knows with every single part of him that he and Kurt are a forever-sorta-thing, tethered together in a way they can’t even describe.
And in that moment, wrapped up in each other and with their hearts on the line, it’s enough. It’s more than enough.
rating: NC-17
word count: ~3,000
summary: Kurt and Blaine receive their college acceptance letters in the mail.
Author's note: this was entitled 'klaineporn.wps' until the boys had to go and get feelings. Also, please disregard Kurt and Rachel's discussion about New York during their breakfast at Tiffany's and how Blaine factors in. Title taken from Flogging Molly's "If I Ever Leave This World Alive".
buzzbuzz
buzzbuzz
Kurt rolls over, cracks open a sleepy eye and sees his phone lit up with a text message. It’s early on Saturday morning, much earlier than any of his friends from glee club would be texting him. He curls deeper into his blankets and reaches out for his phone. He smiles and rubs the sleep out of his eyes.
From: Blaine
Got my college acceptance in. Come over? Parents just left for the weekend.
They had plans for the afternoon anyway. When Blaine found out his parents were taking a weekend trip to Columbus he had invited Kurt over right away. But this, this text about college and the future makes Kurt’s breath tangle in his throat. They had mutually decided not to tell each other about which colleges they were applying to. They had, somewhat naively, decided that they were mature enough to know that their education came first, that going to school and getting a degree without anything impacting their decision was the smart thing to do.
Kurt had gotten his acceptance letter to Parsons in the mail a week before. Small black writing on thin white paper; Dear Mr. Hummel. Congratulations! We look forward to seeing you in the fall at The New School for Design and welcome to New York City. Kurt had read the first sentence over and over, not believing it was real. New York was everything he wanted to be, but it was difficult keeping it from Blaine. He was nearly bursting at the seams to tell him, but he knew he had to wait. They agreed to wait until they both got their letters in the mail to reveal which schools they were going to.
To: Blaine
Of course. Let me shower and pull myself together and I’ll come over.
Kurt puts the phone down on his nightstand before going into his closet to pick out an outfit. His fingers nervously pick through the clothes, lightly brushing over what seems like every shirt in his wardrobe, but he can’t concentrate. His nerves are bundled up and all he can think about is what his and Blaine’s future might be. When he realizes he’s spent twenty minutes staring at the same pair of dark denim jeans, he takes a deep breath and reaches into his closet.
---
The car ride over to Blaine’s goes by quickly with so much on Kurt’s mind. He’s thinking of all the possibilities. Maybe Blaine got into NYU. Kurt thinks about going to school in the same city, sharing a horribly tiny apartment somewhere in between both of their schools and commuting on the subway to and from work, maybe at a clothing shop or a café. He smiles at how absolutely perfect that sounds. His mind then wonders to other options; what if Blaine’s love of coffee takes him to a school in Seattle, or worse, maybe he chose to study abroad. Kurt feels his stomach tighten, feeling sick at the thought that Blaine might be somewhere that’s not there, with Kurt.
The black SUV pulls up Blaine’s short driveway and Kurt parks behind Blaine‘s car. He hops down and draws a heart on Blaine’s windshield in the light covering of snow that had started falling on Kurt’s drive over. He writes Kurt + Blaine on the window until his fingers are red and frozen.
He makes his way up the front walk and quickly knocks on the door, blowing lightly into his hands to warm them up while he waits for Blaine to answer. When Blaine opens the door he looks entirely casual, faded denim and a paper thin Buckeyes t-shirt. His socked feet shuffle to the side, allowing Kurt to slip in the door. Blaine brushes the snow flakes off of Kurt’s shoulder and hangs up his jacket. They both stare at each other, not knowing what to say. Somewhere off in the formal living room a clock chimes and it seems to snap them both out of their haze.
“So, we could go upstairs?” Blaine asks and Kurt’s not sure why it’s a question. He nods lightly, walking the path to Blaine’s bedroom that he’s taken so many times before. But it’s never been like this. It’s never felt like his life depended on it.
When they get to Blaine’s room, Blaine makes his way over to his laptop to turn off the music that’s playing softly. If the mood were different Kurt would have made fun of the Top 40 junk coming out of the speakers. Almost a year together and Kurt still hasn’t managed to delete Katy Perry from Blaine’s iTunes. Well, besides my missing puzzle piece.
Kurt glances at Blaine’s desk while he powers down his laptop and notices a large manila envelope. He wills his eyes to see through the thick paper, read some amazing words like ‘New York’ or ‘Boston’ or ‘Philadelphia’. Somewhere that won’t make Kurt’s heart hurt. Somewhere that’s only a car ride away and not, perhaps, on the other side of the world. Kurt needs Blaine with him, and as much as that terrifies him, he believes it with everything he has inside.
“So how do you want to do this?” Blaine asks, bouncing slightly from foot to foot. He makes his way over to the bed and Kurt follows him. They both sit down, their legs wound like pretzels, knees touching as their only point of contact.
“Um --” Kurt clears his throat. “Just, on the count of three?”
Blaine breathes in deeply and holds in his eyes shut for only a second. “Okay. One --”
Kurt’s grip tightens on the comforter, knuckles turning white.
“Two --”
Kurt swallows the lump out of his throat, know he’ll have to reveal their future in a matter of seconds.
“Three --”
please
“Parsons,”
“Stanford,” they say simultaneously. Kurt feels his face drops before he can stop it. There’s a ringing in his ears, but he can’t actually hear anything. His vision blurs before going sharply back into focus. California. Blaine’s going to school in California. An entire country is going to separate them for four years.
“Well, congratulations,” Blaine tries. Kurt can hear the conflict in his voice. He knows Blaine is excited for him, to know that the person he loves is going to live out his dream, but the reality is hitting him hard. They missed each other during the end of their junior year, before Blaine had transferred to McKinley to be with Kurt. And that was only a two hour car ride. How were they ever going to manage cross country?
They’ve somehow shifted during the quiet minutes, although neither one of them remembers doing it. They’re sitting awkwardly on the bed, Blaine by the headboard and Kurt on the other end. They’re not sure what to say next; what could come next? Kurt redirects his eyes down to the patchwork blanket covering the foot of Blaine’s bed, his fingers counting the light blue and white squares. The blanket looks a hundred years old, fraying at the ends and the off-white coloring definitely more off than white.
“My Nana made that for me. I’ve had it since the day I was born. I just can’t seem to part with it,” Blaine explains, his voice sounding strange in the empty air.
“Can’t seem to part with it,” Kurt murmurs his repetition, saying so much with just that sentence. He hears Blaine let out what sounds like a sob and Kurt looks up in time to see Blaine’s arms crossed on his knees, his head dropped in defeat.
“I don’t know what to do,” Blaine says honestly. Kurt’s never heard him sound this broken before. Not when they sat down to coffee for the very first time, what seems like forever ago, when Blaine spoke about the bullying at his old high school; not when Blaine admitted why he was fearful of prom and what happened to him at that Sadie Hawkins dance. There was always an undercurrent of strength to Blaine’s voice that was so obviously missing right now.
The space between them feels infinite, but Kurt slowly lessens the space, crawling up to meet Blaine on the end other of the bed. Blaine looks up at him, so much written in his big eyes, looking as if he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. Kurt doesn’t know what to say, knows there aren’t really any words for them right now. So he just kisses Blaine, slowly and surely, letting his touch speak for him. When Blaine kisses back, Kurt feels his heart breaking and being put back together all at once.
The kiss is nothing but lips and pressure at first, just feeling the weight of each other. Blaine is sitting with his back pressed against the headboard and Kurt pressing into his chest. Kurt’s straddling Blaine’s lap, most of his weight on Blaine’s thighs, and his arms draped across Blaine’s shoulders. Kurt feels pressure the size of Blaine’s hands on both sides of his hips and his mouth falls open, inviting Blaine inside. It’s hungry and raw and passionate. It feels like the only way they can express themselves right now when words would fail them. They only have right here, right now. Because who knows what the end of summer will bring, and although that seems like a world away, it’s closer than they want to admit.
They kiss until it feels like the air has been sucked out of their lungs, but they don’t stop. Kurt’s hips have been moving, just slightly, until he’s made his way further up Blaine’s thighs. Their hips meet and it’s the only moment when their kiss fumbles. Kurt gasps, unexpected pleasure shooting through him. Blaine shifts a little until Kurt’s full weight is resting on him and just thrusts up. Kurt doesn’t trust his voice, so he lets his lips attack Blaine’s, telling him everything he needs to know.
There will no doubt be purple and red marks along Blaine’s shoulder tomorrow from Kurt’s grip, but Kurt can’t bring himself to care because even between the layers of jean, it feels amazing. Kurt prides himself on having decent control, being able to sense when he’s close to the edge and move away to let them cool off. But he’s spiraling closer and closer and he can’t seem to stop it. It feels so good, so right, and he starts rocking his hips faster, meeting Blaine’s equally frantic thrusts.
“So close, Blaine,” Kurt whispers, hands moving up and down and around Blaine’s back.
“Yeah, Kurt. So hot when you’re like this, fuck. Wanna be inside you,” Blaine mumbles, words falling out of his mouth before he can stop them, without actually thinking about what he’s saying. Kurt groans and nods his head, biting on his lower lip and slowing his hips until they come to a complete stop.
Blaine tugs at the bottom of his shirt and easily lifts it up and over his head, leaving it to fall somewhere beside his bed. He pops the button out of his well-worn jeans and slides them down, along with his boxers, in one push. Kurt has seen Blaine naked plenty of times, more times than he can possibly count, but his breath still catches in his throat every time.
They switch spots, Kurt now laying on his back, his head resting in Blaine’s fluffy pillows. His oversized sweater is easily removed, but when Blaine gets to his jeans with their button fly, he makes an aggravated noise.
“Six buttons? Seriously, Kurt?” and Kurt just laughs, because this is the Blaine he knows and loves. He reaches his hands down and un-buttons five of the six before Blaine swats his hands away and finishes the last button. Kurt’s pants are tight, of course, and it’s a bit of a struggle for Blaine to pull Kurt’s pants over his hips, but he finally does and then they’re tossed to the side along with Kurt’s underwear. They both just take a moment to stare, to take in what’s about to happen.
Blaine makes the first move, reaching across Kurt’s body and to his night stand drawer. He pulls out a light blue bottle and squeezes out some of the liquid onto his fingers. Blaine places feather-light kisses all along the inside of Kurt’s thigh and he pushes a finger inside of Kurt. Kurt sighs happily and just lets the feeling wash over him. They don’t do this often, being teenagers living at home really puts a damper on one’s sex life. But when they do, it’s like the first time all over again. Kurt’s a bundle of nerves and Blaine’s constantly whispering for Kurt’s reassurance. Kurt only slightly winces with he feels a third finger pushing against him, but he welcomes it, needs to feel something real in this moment.
“Can I, please? Kurt, please,” Blaine says as his fingers slowly move in and out of Kurt. Kurt can tell Blaine’s using every ounce of control he has in him to keep himself from going too fast. But it’s what Kurt wants, what he needs, so even though he doesn’t feel completely stretched out, he nods his head.
The blunt pressure builds to a steady burn as Blaine slowly pushes in. Kurt closes his eyes and just feels; feels the dip in the bed where Blaine’s hands are holding his weight; feels the unbelievably wonderful stretching of Blaine inside of him; feels Blaine’s breath ghost across his body.
“I have to -- please, Kurt. I have -- move, I gotta move,” Blaine mumbles bits and pieces of sentences strung together. Kurt tries to speak, to tell Blaine that he can do whatever he wants, but the words die on his lips. So he just wraps his arms around Blaine’s shoulders and arches up.
“God, feels so good. Always so good,” Blaine groans. He moves slowly at first and Kurt can’t believe how absolutely amazing this feels, how amazing this always feels. Whatever discomfort Kurt felt minutes before is gone now, replaced with the wonderful push-and-pull of Blaine.
“Faster, Blaine. Please,” Kurt whispers, fingers tangled together around Blaine’s neck. Blaine’s head drops slightly and Kurt thinks he can feel it in his whole body when Blaine moans his response, their bodies vibrating when Blaine’s hips start snapping forward.
Kurt’s fingers are digging deep into Blaine’s back, trying to hold on to something, anything. He strains his neck up, rubbing his forehead to Blaine’s, sweat mingling together. He feels Blaine’s breath across his face, but he can’t pick up which are words and which are simply sounds falling out of his mouth. There really aren’t any words to describe how amazing this feels, his boyfriend heavy on top of him, chests pressed together, hips falling back and coming together again. He feels like Blaine is all around him, not knowing where he ends and where Blaine begins. Kurt tries to focus in on something, tries to pinpoint exactly where this pleasure is coming from, but he can’t tell if it’s from the fingers digging into his hips, or the lips on his neck, or the sensation of being completely filled by the person he loves.
Blaine’s hands fumble, one reaching for Kurt’s cock and the other placed beside his shoulders for balance. “Kurt-” Blaine manages, teeth clenched tightly together. “You gotta -- I can’t -- please,” and Kurt understands perfectly.
Blaine’s hand speeds up, trying to keep in time with his thrusts, but not really achieving it. His grip is too loose on Kurt and under normal circumstances, it wouldn’t get Kurt there. But these aren’t normal circumstances. His boyfriend is panting in his ear Kurt Kurt Kurt over and over, trying to concentrate on not ending this before Kurt comes. But Kurt’s close, so close, and he wants Blaine to come, needs to see him come undone. So he tells him, “Blaine, Blaine. It’s okay. Let go.”
“Gonna come, Kurt, fuck,” Blaine’s hips stutter once, twice, and then push all the way in and his mouth drops open. The look on Blaine’s face, the soft whining noise that bubbles out from the back of his throat is enough for Kurt, heat exploding throughout his body and everything going black. He feels like every last one of his nerve endings has been zapped with this pleasure-perfect electricity and there’s nothing he can do but close his eyes and arch up into it.
Blaine slows above him until he’s come to a complete stop, a look of pure bliss etched across his features. He removes his hand from Kurt’s dick and pauses momentarily before slightly shrugging and wiping his hand across his stomach. Kurt’s eyes widen, saving that mental image for later, before untangling his leg’s from Blaine’s so he can pull out. He rolls off of Kurt slowly, as if his blood has turned into lead, and cuddles up beside him.
“We should probably shower, or at least grab a tissue or something,” Kurt says, his voice low and scratchy.
Blaine’s face is buried in Kurt’s chest and says something that resembles, “in a minute,” and Kurt can’t really argue with that.
They lay together and Kurt knows they’ll have to separate soon, across the room to clean up, and then across the country to learn everything life has in store for them. He knows they have to talk about it, discuss how it could ever possibly work 3,000 miles apart. When they have a three hour time difference and nine wide open states between them. How they could stay true for four years of their lives without touching, without holding, without breathing the same air. And then --
“I’ll love you forever,” Blaine mumbles, eyelashes closed and sleep clogging his voice. Kurt’s arm tightens around Blaine, pulling him closer until he can feel Blaine’s heart beating against his skin. He doesn’t say anything back, but he doesn’t have to. Blaine knows, knows with every single part of him that he and Kurt are a forever-sorta-thing, tethered together in a way they can’t even describe.
And in that moment, wrapped up in each other and with their hearts on the line, it’s enough. It’s more than enough.