or lack thereof

[extemporally]

1. This is the most terrible thing ever. I had a burger and two tomato soups for lunch and now, I'm hungry? Stomach, you fail me.

Whatever. I'm eating gelato now, so maybe that makes up for something. Or quite a lot, really, but if I continue being unimpressed hopefully the universe will find added ways to make it up to me.

2. "Friendships

Comments

[softlyforgotten]

Oh man oh, I like the way you think. I know what you mean, too, that -- hard, desperate sort of feel, like everything is going to be the Be All End All. And because I have such a shiny tinhat, I want that to be about Ryan&Brendon although -- hmmn, actually, on second thoughts, I would be really interested in reading a fic like that with a Ryan/Spencer focus? Because the Ryan/Spencer pairing is often missing in those fics with the early day focus that you talk about, but I'd like something that hard and glittery and mean. Because they were comfortable with each other at that time period, but maybe they're not now.

[extemporally]

Yes, vicious and hard and glittery and jagged. That sounds really good -- you know, because the thing about Ryan&Brendon is that it doesn't take a lot to sell their pairing, even though it has to be done just right -- perhaps this is me being biased, but anyone can just SEE the chemistry there. Whereas for Ryan&Spencer you'd have to work just that bit harder to make it matter, and I think being comfortable is a huge part of it, because while you could see a settled relationship working based on that there wouldn't be any innate tension in the first place. (But now, post-split, there would be, etc

[snarkaddict]

I had a long comment about why post split Ryan/Spencer (friends or otherwise) is so awesome but the internet ate it. Too awesome, I guess. :p I'll attempt to recreate it now.

I totally agree with what you've said, bb!

Because they were comfortable with each other at that time period, but maybe they're not now.YES! I think it would be beyond fascinating to see how they react post split. They spent their formative and early adulthood years not just together but in close quarters, having the same job, having the same circle of friends. And now they are alone, dealing with the loss of their childhood security blanket. And they'd still do things out of muscle reaction and habit like Ryan automatically turning around to ask Spencer something and then belatedly realizing that no, he actually has to pick up his phone to call Spence now. Or Spence finding out that apparently his muscles got used to being pressed against someone sharper and missing that when he goes to hug Brendon. Or even the simplest things like Spence having to explain

[snarkaddict]

!!!! It's like you read my mind, bb! I suck at verbalizing meta thoughts so thank you for this! ♥

[extemporally]

Any time, dude! ♥

[extemporally]

Ahaha, dude, the first couple of times I came across bandom characters by lurking around Livejournal I did not actually think they were real people, mostly because I hadn't been exposed to Panic/MCR/Fall Out Boy and the like. It never even occurred to me that it was RPF -- which is sort of weird, but never underestimate the brain's (my brain's) ability to filter out stuff.

But back to the point -- your remark made me think of the quote that softlyforgotten put in front of Walk The Line: And there is one sure thing about the fall of gods: they do not fall a little; they crash and shatter or sink deeply into green muck. It is a tedious job to build them up again; they never quite shine. And the child’s world is never quite whole again. It is an aching kind of growing (John Steinback, East of Eden). I guess there's something special about growing up, that longing and uncertainty and ache which you can't ever recapture in quite the same way past a certain stage -- but the point is, they're still young, I think it could still be done. One thing about

[sinuous_curve]

Yes, yes, yes, a million times, yes.

I got into bandom as excitement was starting to build for Pretty. Odd. so the first fics I ever really sat down and devoured were exactly those, the desperate, scared, oh my God are we actually going to do this stuff based around early canon. Which, considering I was going to college on the other side of the country at the time, struck this incredibly deep identifying chord with me.

Once P.O. was released, I actually started gravitating away from canon based fic and more towards aus, because it was in aus where I could still get that sense of young, terrified desperation. ...not that I didn't want them to be happy in real life, but I really just like reading about them being uncertain and scared. :D?

Very possibly the only good thing that has come out of the Divorce is the swing back towards the figuring shit out, growing up themes that I am such a sucker for.

[extemporally]

Yes times one million. Those fics? Were precisely the fics I saw being recced for friends of bandslashers they were seeking to entice into bandom, the long character-driven fics that made it so easy to love Panic. I love Pretty. Odd. and silly fics that gently mock all of them, don't get me wrong! But I have always enjoyed, and will continue to enjoy, the ones about them being broke and desperate and hungry, so hungry.

And yes on the identifying bit. Last year was a tough year, and there are some stories that will stay with me always not just for the absolute gems that they were but also for the circumstances I read them in.

I can't wait to find out how everything plays out, you know? Figuring shit out \o/ I love how you can grow up, and grow up, and reach some kind of consensus before doing it again, rather than it being a cut-and-dried stop-start kind of thing. That's real life for you, bitches!

[mrsquizzical]

really enjoyed reading your thoughts.

and yes. growing up keeps on happening. and just when you think you've got your shit sorted, something changes and you have to grow some more.

[extemporally]

something changes and you have to grow some more

A billion yeses to that :)