These are my explainy hands

[exsequar]

Hi flist! So I might have mentioned a little while ago that I was given an assignment to write a short essay about my undergraduate research experience and how it contributed to my education. The possible use of this essay is vague; admission materials were mentioned. Anyway, I just sat down and banged it out tonight, because that's how I write, at

Comments

[musical_emjay]

Ooh, this is very good. I think you really articulated that journey of slow self-discovery, and the role that doing research played in that, very well. You showed how the research experience was, again and again, the very thing that nudged you in your next new direction, and how it helped you get where you are. It actually felt a lot like the same kind of road to self-discovery that I navigated my first two years of university, so I can really identify :D

Um, other than that? I really enjoyed reading it, and I think you've got a lovely narrative style. I can totally see you excelling in the science-writing side of your field! Good job, darling ♥

[exsequar]

Thank you very much sweetie! I really appreciate your thoughts. <3

[darksylvia]

I'm saving this to read tomorrow when I have a real internet connection and can make longer comments without fear of losing them!

[darksylvia]

Okay! Now I've had time to really read it without having to balance my laptop precariously on my knees to get internet.

I think this reads very well, and it doesn't give me that "This person is bullshitting to get this essay out" feeling that so many bad college essays have :D

The only sentence that gave me pause was this:

After my freshman year, I had done a summer of research in the Toxicology department at Michigan State University.

I think it would be less jarring if you changed it to "I did a summer..." or "I worked that summer..."

[exsequar]

Hee, I'm glad it doesn't feel like a bad essay! ;) Thank you hon.

Ah, that makes sense, but sadly I already turned it in D: If they ask me for an edit I'll probably tweak that bit! Thanks so much for reading it!

[foreverseenstar]

I loved this. It was interesting and just very well written, good choice on the informal narrative. I had a similar undergrad realization, so this really made sense to me. <3

[exsequar]

Thank you so much! I'm glad this is resonating with/interesting to people, because it's supposed to be targeted to people heading into this period of their life. Maybe it will get some wheels turning!

[floridapeaches]

On first read-through, I didn't notice anything grammar-wise except "orgo" should be "Orgo," since it's a shortened form of the name.

Other than that, I really love your style, and I think this flows very well. :D

If you'd like for me to look it over again so that I can be a little more through, then you could email it to me, and I'll do a proper beta-style read-through with comments. mizzpeaches at gmail if decide to send it.

I'm off to work right now, so I won't be around until late, but I can look it over tonight/tomorrow.

<33

[exsequar]

Thank you very much!

It's okay, I've already handed it in, but I appreciate the offer :)

(Brendon Urie your FACE.)

[ariadne83]

I think this is written both eloquently and smartly (taking time to appreciate the people you've worked with is a smart move). My only minor quibble is that all the supervisors I've had have told me to avoid contractions (Let's) like the plague because they're too informal.
Good luck!

[exsequar]

Thank you!

I've been told that as well, but "Let us take a step back" feels a bit like I'm talking with a big stick up my tush. The whole thing is very informal anyway, so I think it's okay. Thanks for the suggestion though :)

[ariadne83]

LOL finding a balance for the level of formality is the eternal conundrum