Degustibus Disputandem.
Some of you may be aware or not of a drink out there called Potion, inspired by the life-refreshing beverage found in many a fantasy role-playing game.
In this case, it's a piece of marketing conceived only by those wacky Japanese to coincide with the recent release of Final Fantasy XII in Japan and is also being promoted through a rather awesome television spot.
It's even been distributed in premium sets featuring collectible cards and they have unsurprisingly sold out quick in Japan and among the hardcore gaijin who are picking them up via Ebay.
So what do these gaijin have to say about Potion? CheapyD of Cheap Ass Gamer declares,
"In comparison, Robitussin is a delicious exotic cocktail and Pepto Bismol tastes like a Root Beer Float. The FFXII Potion tastes so bad, you would think it would either get you incredibly drunk or cure Cancer. Being that it does neither makes me wonder why this drink exists."
Vinnke Sensei of 4 Color Rebellion expresses a more forgiving appraisal of the beverage and excuses its less-than-desirable flavor in favor of its restorative powers:
"For the price, I would rather be drinking something else. But of course it's not about the taste is it? It's about the health restoring powers. I guess after drinking potion I do feel a bit better."
On the other hand, venerable gaming culture blog Kotaku posted a rather stream-of-consciousness account, and the verdict was not good:
Hmmm, the "potion" smells like some wicked mixture of mouthwash, cough syrup and Gatorade. I'm not feeling good about this. Wow, I have no idea how to explain what this tastes like. Drinking bubble gum? Ooooh, every sip is different, that one was very tart. Flat 7-Up? Rancid lemonade? Why the hell do I keep drinking this?
Of course, this is hardly the first time a mass market beverage has been described (in so many words) as execrable. I myself think that Sprite Ice tastes like citrus-flavored jet coolant. Even Kotaku likens it to the bizarrely marketed OK Soda of yesterdecade.
But can we really trust these Yankees? These are the same people who have shown no mercy in critiquing Jollibee Yum Burgers*:
"It's like Wendy's took all the goo that comes out of their burgers when they're done cooking them, pressed that down into a mold, froze it in a patty shape, and exported it to the Philippines, where they put it between some bread, put pink sauce on it and sent it back here."
Which leads me to ask, what social or genetic markers are ingrained into the very fabric of the American taste bud makes them so alienated by the Asian palate? I'm hardly the first person to ponder this matter, to be sure, but if Potion is described as "rancid milk" in their taste vocabulary then what does Potion really taste like in ours?
Until I actually have a sip of this $2.50 elixir, I may never really know, but I can speculate. My guess? Well I'd imagine that "rancid milk" would also be how the non-Asian palate would describe Yakult, lactobacilli Shirota strain and all.
Would you drink to that?
*To be fair, this blogger did describe her and her friends as, "Ugly Americans because this food was so beyond anything we could have guessed it would be. We couldn't stop. We were embarrassing ourselves and still couldn't stop. Every bite was another shock."