I don't know who you are, I don't know where we're going (ds snippet)
Ray used to take comfort in the routine of his life. There was a predictability that he enjoyed; Kowalski would be reckless in his chasing down of Chicago’s lowlifes, Ray would do some arm-waving and yelling, Kowalski would just smile at him and then come at Ray with intensity and desire and practically crawl all over him in his excitement.
There’s still a routine, but there’s no longer comfort, just the sense that things have an order to them and if that order is disrupted all hell will break loose. Ray has dreams every night, sometimes nostalgic ones and sometimes vague nightmares, until he wakes up to Kowalski climbing the fire escape and slipping into the bedroom. Kowalski is still reckless in his chasing down of Chicago’s lowlifes, but it’s no longer about closing cases; now he picks them off one by one, scumbags no one will miss. He still comes at Ray with intensity, but it’s a different kind of desire as he drives his cock into Ray and holds him down. Ray always comes first, spilling between them, and then lifts his chin because Kowalski has to take blood from him in order to come. Kowalski will lean against Ray’s cross and hiss at the wisp of smoke, and Ray will just take it all in, knowing that the only thing he has control over is how he doesn’t ask, doesn’t beg Kowalski to take all of him, to turn him. Ray doesn’t know how long he can resist, because either way he’s going down this road with Kowalski; it’s just a question if they’ll do so as equals or if he’ll be dragged down to hell.