(no subject)
Title: Never Meant To Be
Author: Emerald Embers
Pairing: Anakin/Obi-Wan
Rating: PG-12 for slash
Time period: Episode III, during the Anakin/Obi-Wan fight.
Disclaimer: Non-profit fanfiction
Short Summary: 'A little "alternate scene" in which their hands had touched'. Well, someone was secretly waiting for it ;). Thank you, oh providers of Jedi hand-porn inspiration XD.
The force had not given way and allowed their hands to touch.
If neither of them said anything, blinked, or made a move out of place, it hadn't happened.
But it had, and Anakin knew it, pained rage filling him as he brought the lightsabre down only to find Obi-Wan caught his wrist. "Why?" Anakin yelled at him, knowing it would be so easy to flick the sabre around and burn into Obi-Wan's skull, have it all be over with. "Why do you have to be killed too?"
"I didn't ask for this!" Obi-Wan was struggling, his back straining in his current position but he couldn't afford to more yet, not when Anakin was raging at him as though it was his own fault that they were battling, as though Obi-Wan could have done anything else after watching Anakin kill younglings - younglings - and nearly do the same to the woman he had done all this for.
Anakin pulled this lightsabre back from where they had been crossing to strike. Quickly, Obi-Wan pushed up, knocking backwards and getting into a stance where his back could relax, their lightsabres at the ready, and he decided he would dare risk something her had been considering since the glimmer of doubt in Anakin's eyes when their hands touched. He turned the lightsabre off, felt Anakin's confusion and anger increase. "Why are you doing this?" Another yell, his one-time Padawan's voice raw with pain. "You were supposed to hide. Both of you were never meant to come here!" But no strike came.
"Did Padme ask you to choke her?" Obi-Wan replied, voice unsteady and a strange, violent calm filling him. "They were children Anakin! The Jedi did not strike you down when they knew what you could become. Were it not for the grace of the force, they could have been you!" He saw Anakin's grip falter and knew it would take the simplest of movements to disarm the boy, breaking any hope of trust along with the threat of death at Anakin's lightsabre, when something occurred to Obi-Wan. Anakin could choke him. From this distance, Anakin could strangle him with ease, and he hasn't tried once. It had been the same with the children. For all his Sith training, Anakin didn't want to cheat.
Anakin's expression was torn, anger and confusion and fear and any number of other emotions taking their turns using him. "If she dies, I die," he managed before he switched the lightsabre off and slunk to the floor, raising a knee to rest his arm on while he shielded his face, a strange keening sound escaping his throat born of all the emotions racking his body. The boy had been trained as a Jedi, trained not to have emotions and then on the assumption his emotions had receded. The Jedi did not speak of feelings outside the Force after a certain age and never of how to deal with them other than to disregard them. The swell of forbidden emotions had taken the boy over.
"I can't live without her." He looked up at Obi-Wan, saw the lightsabre tucked away and knew his old master would take it up again the second he reached for his own. "All I ever - needed, was to be right." His throat was constricted with something between tears and absolutely paralysing fear. "I promised her she would be safe. I promised myself you would be too."
Obi-Wan walked over slowly and sat down by Anakin, suddenly aware of how noisy the environment around them was not the sound of the lightsabres had gone and their voices turned silent. "We would have helped you, Anakin."
"What do the Jedi know of love?" Anakin spat back, voice painfully loud for a moment before it settled again. "You would never have let me live. The chosen one, full of emotions? Any confirmation I was turning to the dark side and you would have had me killed, and she would die alone!"
Obi-Wan was momentarily stunned for words. Was Anakin's opinion of the Jedi truly so low? "I did not let them send you back to Tatooine as a child and they never discussed the possibility of killing you until you did this! Why would I ever have changed that?"
"You would have killed me just now."
"Because now you are dangerous!"
Anakin looked up from his hand towards Obi-Wan, voiced a concern that had troubled him since he was a child. "You only guarded me because of Qui-Gon!"
"I know." Obi-Wan could not refute this, and instead slowly extended his hand towards the one pressed again Anakin's face, gripped the sweat and tear-slicked surface. This time the touch wasn't accidental. "I saw more danger in you than the light Qui-Gon insisted he saw. But things change. I wasn't lying when I said I thought you had become a better Jedi than I could ever hope to be." His other hand came up, stroking Anakin's hair back from his face, revealing the stricken expression even more clearly. "The Jedi know more of love than they dare tell you. It's because of this they ask you to avoid it. Look what it has done to you."
"I would die for her," Anakin sobbed.
"And I would have died in Qui-Gon's stead." He let the silence and Anakin's realisation of what his words meant fill the space between them before he closed it, drawing his one-time Padawan into his arms. What had they done? Now there was nothing left of the Jedi save master Yoda and perhaps a few stragglers, and Anakin... Force damnit, what had Anakin done to his soul? "How did you do it?" He asked softly as his fingers stroked Anakin's hair and back, soothing though the questions were wounding.
"If you could face Darth Maul as a child, could you kill him to save Qui-Gon?"
Obi-Wan held Anakin tighter and nodded, ashamed but knowing he couldn't lie in this situation. "You were the chosen one," he said mournfully. "You were supposed to bring balance to the force. Why could you not see past her? Or past Palpatine's lies?"
Anakin did not answer, just took Obi-Wan's hand from his face and gripped it tight, holding it to his chest while he shook like a leaf. All at once, Obi-Wan was reminded of how young Anakin still was. Not even a hand's worth of years from his adolescence, barely past the age when he himself had lost Qui-Gon and killed Darth Maul in anger. He had touched the dark side that day, but this boy had fallen in.
"What will you do now?" Obi-Wan asked instead, wondered if this would get an answer. And he did receive one, not in words, but in bruised, wet, and sinfully pliant lips up against his own. He should have frozen, but found himself responding for a brief moment before pulling back and looking Anakin in those confused, astonishingly blue eyes. "Why?"
"Because you're good," Anakin replied, clutching their hands even tighter to his chest as if to let go would stop him breathing, and at that moment he genuinely believed it would. "You're not pure. You never pretended you could be." And maybe he needed their hands there or his heart would stop, because he was sure it could not take any more. "I love her enough to die, but I need you so much it could kill me too."
"Anakin..."
"Please," Anakin begged. "Please let me have this. My master will be here soon and I need you to leave with Padme."
Obi-Wan knew he should have resisted, that he was failing Master Yoda, but it was Qui-Gon who had always ruled him. This wasn't what Qui-Gon wanted, but it was closer than what Yoda had offered. Anakin's lips met his again and he let the boy kiss him, let himself kiss back, though it was only Anakin who allowed a pretence that the moment was a happier one, mechanical hand reaching under his robes as he pressed against Obi-Wan. And Obi-Wan let him do this too, let Anakin suck out his breath and his soul with those kisses while moving against him, occasionally breaking the kiss for air that burnt his lungs.
It did not take Anakin long in reality, but the duration had felt like an eternity, enough that when Anakin told him to leave before the emperor left hyperspace he registered surprise.
"You could come with us," Obi-Wan half-stated, half asked as he rose to his feet, Anakin holding his hand until the last minute with an unreadable expression.
"I have unfinished business here," Anakin replied. A no to his old master's question. "Obi-Wan?" He asked, making the Jedi pause before leaving the room. "Promise me you'll take care of her?"
"I promise," Obi-Wan replied, watching his old Padawan set off the self-destruct sequence for the facility before he headed back towards Padme and the ship. He flexed his hand, Anakin's sweat quickly being replaced by his own in this heat, and wondered if he would ever see that beautiful but tortured face again.
- The End
Author: Emerald Embers
Pairing: Anakin/Obi-Wan
Rating: PG-12 for slash
Time period: Episode III, during the Anakin/Obi-Wan fight.
Disclaimer: Non-profit fanfiction
Short Summary: 'A little "alternate scene" in which their hands had touched'. Well, someone was secretly waiting for it ;). Thank you, oh providers of Jedi hand-porn inspiration XD.
The force had not given way and allowed their hands to touch.
If neither of them said anything, blinked, or made a move out of place, it hadn't happened.
But it had, and Anakin knew it, pained rage filling him as he brought the lightsabre down only to find Obi-Wan caught his wrist. "Why?" Anakin yelled at him, knowing it would be so easy to flick the sabre around and burn into Obi-Wan's skull, have it all be over with. "Why do you have to be killed too?"
"I didn't ask for this!" Obi-Wan was struggling, his back straining in his current position but he couldn't afford to more yet, not when Anakin was raging at him as though it was his own fault that they were battling, as though Obi-Wan could have done anything else after watching Anakin kill younglings - younglings - and nearly do the same to the woman he had done all this for.
Anakin pulled this lightsabre back from where they had been crossing to strike. Quickly, Obi-Wan pushed up, knocking backwards and getting into a stance where his back could relax, their lightsabres at the ready, and he decided he would dare risk something her had been considering since the glimmer of doubt in Anakin's eyes when their hands touched. He turned the lightsabre off, felt Anakin's confusion and anger increase. "Why are you doing this?" Another yell, his one-time Padawan's voice raw with pain. "You were supposed to hide. Both of you were never meant to come here!" But no strike came.
"Did Padme ask you to choke her?" Obi-Wan replied, voice unsteady and a strange, violent calm filling him. "They were children Anakin! The Jedi did not strike you down when they knew what you could become. Were it not for the grace of the force, they could have been you!" He saw Anakin's grip falter and knew it would take the simplest of movements to disarm the boy, breaking any hope of trust along with the threat of death at Anakin's lightsabre, when something occurred to Obi-Wan. Anakin could choke him. From this distance, Anakin could strangle him with ease, and he hasn't tried once. It had been the same with the children. For all his Sith training, Anakin didn't want to cheat.
Anakin's expression was torn, anger and confusion and fear and any number of other emotions taking their turns using him. "If she dies, I die," he managed before he switched the lightsabre off and slunk to the floor, raising a knee to rest his arm on while he shielded his face, a strange keening sound escaping his throat born of all the emotions racking his body. The boy had been trained as a Jedi, trained not to have emotions and then on the assumption his emotions had receded. The Jedi did not speak of feelings outside the Force after a certain age and never of how to deal with them other than to disregard them. The swell of forbidden emotions had taken the boy over.
"I can't live without her." He looked up at Obi-Wan, saw the lightsabre tucked away and knew his old master would take it up again the second he reached for his own. "All I ever - needed, was to be right." His throat was constricted with something between tears and absolutely paralysing fear. "I promised her she would be safe. I promised myself you would be too."
Obi-Wan walked over slowly and sat down by Anakin, suddenly aware of how noisy the environment around them was not the sound of the lightsabres had gone and their voices turned silent. "We would have helped you, Anakin."
"What do the Jedi know of love?" Anakin spat back, voice painfully loud for a moment before it settled again. "You would never have let me live. The chosen one, full of emotions? Any confirmation I was turning to the dark side and you would have had me killed, and she would die alone!"
Obi-Wan was momentarily stunned for words. Was Anakin's opinion of the Jedi truly so low? "I did not let them send you back to Tatooine as a child and they never discussed the possibility of killing you until you did this! Why would I ever have changed that?"
"You would have killed me just now."
"Because now you are dangerous!"
Anakin looked up from his hand towards Obi-Wan, voiced a concern that had troubled him since he was a child. "You only guarded me because of Qui-Gon!"
"I know." Obi-Wan could not refute this, and instead slowly extended his hand towards the one pressed again Anakin's face, gripped the sweat and tear-slicked surface. This time the touch wasn't accidental. "I saw more danger in you than the light Qui-Gon insisted he saw. But things change. I wasn't lying when I said I thought you had become a better Jedi than I could ever hope to be." His other hand came up, stroking Anakin's hair back from his face, revealing the stricken expression even more clearly. "The Jedi know more of love than they dare tell you. It's because of this they ask you to avoid it. Look what it has done to you."
"I would die for her," Anakin sobbed.
"And I would have died in Qui-Gon's stead." He let the silence and Anakin's realisation of what his words meant fill the space between them before he closed it, drawing his one-time Padawan into his arms. What had they done? Now there was nothing left of the Jedi save master Yoda and perhaps a few stragglers, and Anakin... Force damnit, what had Anakin done to his soul? "How did you do it?" He asked softly as his fingers stroked Anakin's hair and back, soothing though the questions were wounding.
"If you could face Darth Maul as a child, could you kill him to save Qui-Gon?"
Obi-Wan held Anakin tighter and nodded, ashamed but knowing he couldn't lie in this situation. "You were the chosen one," he said mournfully. "You were supposed to bring balance to the force. Why could you not see past her? Or past Palpatine's lies?"
Anakin did not answer, just took Obi-Wan's hand from his face and gripped it tight, holding it to his chest while he shook like a leaf. All at once, Obi-Wan was reminded of how young Anakin still was. Not even a hand's worth of years from his adolescence, barely past the age when he himself had lost Qui-Gon and killed Darth Maul in anger. He had touched the dark side that day, but this boy had fallen in.
"What will you do now?" Obi-Wan asked instead, wondered if this would get an answer. And he did receive one, not in words, but in bruised, wet, and sinfully pliant lips up against his own. He should have frozen, but found himself responding for a brief moment before pulling back and looking Anakin in those confused, astonishingly blue eyes. "Why?"
"Because you're good," Anakin replied, clutching their hands even tighter to his chest as if to let go would stop him breathing, and at that moment he genuinely believed it would. "You're not pure. You never pretended you could be." And maybe he needed their hands there or his heart would stop, because he was sure it could not take any more. "I love her enough to die, but I need you so much it could kill me too."
"Anakin..."
"Please," Anakin begged. "Please let me have this. My master will be here soon and I need you to leave with Padme."
Obi-Wan knew he should have resisted, that he was failing Master Yoda, but it was Qui-Gon who had always ruled him. This wasn't what Qui-Gon wanted, but it was closer than what Yoda had offered. Anakin's lips met his again and he let the boy kiss him, let himself kiss back, though it was only Anakin who allowed a pretence that the moment was a happier one, mechanical hand reaching under his robes as he pressed against Obi-Wan. And Obi-Wan let him do this too, let Anakin suck out his breath and his soul with those kisses while moving against him, occasionally breaking the kiss for air that burnt his lungs.
It did not take Anakin long in reality, but the duration had felt like an eternity, enough that when Anakin told him to leave before the emperor left hyperspace he registered surprise.
"You could come with us," Obi-Wan half-stated, half asked as he rose to his feet, Anakin holding his hand until the last minute with an unreadable expression.
"I have unfinished business here," Anakin replied. A no to his old master's question. "Obi-Wan?" He asked, making the Jedi pause before leaving the room. "Promise me you'll take care of her?"
"I promise," Obi-Wan replied, watching his old Padawan set off the self-destruct sequence for the facility before he headed back towards Padme and the ship. He flexed his hand, Anakin's sweat quickly being replaced by his own in this heat, and wondered if he would ever see that beautiful but tortured face again.
- The End