[FIC] Ouran: Lacking Definition

[evocates]

I meant for this to be entirely gen, honest. But then it seems like my Kyouya-muse... -facepalms-

At least it's only implied.

Also! Barely scraped the word count! Editing this was harder than writing it.

Lacking Definition

Comments

[treeflamingo]

I really, really like the balance you show between Kyouya and Tamaki's need for one another. It's parallel. It works. I also really, really like what you did with theme. Very clever.

However, I have one critique that is simultaneously minor and major. *inhales* You change tense mid-sentence in multiple places. *exhales* There. I know it's kinda nitpicky, but the Grammar Nazi cannot help herself.

[evocates]

... that's the problem with rushing to post. xD Fixed it all up, thanks so much! ♥

[berseker]

There's a broken tag in there. Ok, now that it´s out of the way...

What a lovely little fic! I didn´t thought it was possible to make something creative with the flying metaphor, but you managed! I love the bit about how Kyouya´s so grounded that he never takes flight. And the cold he feels when Tamaki takes the book- I could just feel what he was feeling. And I´m glad the ending wasn´t sad. Someday he´ll realize that he can be loved even if he´s not being "useful".

Anyway, great work.

[evocates]

-fixes like ninja- Haha, when I first thought of the flying metaphor I nearly didn't want to use it because it was so cliche, so it's really encouraging to know that I made it into something new for it. =D And yes, Kyouya needs to learn that he doesn't need to always be useful - sometimes he needs to just be himself.

Thank you!

[pekori]

I noticed a couple of run-ons (I think you probably just forgot the semi-colons >>;).

That said:
Kyouya has always been logical and practical, with his feet planted so firmly to the ground that he can’t even think about jumping to get what he wants.
That is one of the most profound things I've ever read about Kyouya. It almost hurt a little to think of how true it is.

I really do love how you can make Kyouya vulnerable while keeping him completely in character.

[evocates]

Heh, you told me about them, so thanks!

Kyouya is so... he's so pragmatic and focused on the future that he doesn't realize that he can change it, really. Tamaki showed him that he can change the future, and I think it just rocked his world entirely.

It's... difficult, sometimes, because the muse is stubborn. xD Thank you! ♥

[sciathan_file]

Oooooh. <3

I love the balance between them so much.

Also, the little hints that Tamaki is going to grow up and go away from him and Kyouya needs him and that is why he won't let him go and...oh. Poor Kyouya. :( Soon he won't have a choice put to set him free.

Kyouya needs a hug...but he'll probably forcibly escort me off the premises.

[evocates]

erytrey YES that's it. Kyouya needs him, but he never ever admits it because an Ohtori doesn't need anyone. Oh Sci, I love how you analyze my fics. xD ♥

Yes he would, so here, have a hug from me instead. -huggles- Thank youuuu~ ♥

[ceirwy]

Somehow that's seems so hopeful and yet so bittersweet to me. I can taste the undertones very well in this.

[evocates]

Eeee! That's exactly the note I was trying to achieve, so yay for you getting it! =D Thank you! ♥