I KNEW this journal would pay off. I Knew It!! And So It Has ( Read more... )

I have found a substitute for the automobile!!! The Segway - as currently manufactured - is not a perfect fit for my needs. But with vertical take-off, flight and landing capabilities? Perfect! I need no longer fear the vicissitudes of motorized cages of steel, not when I can navigate six feet over their playful (and lethal) shenanigans ( Read more... )

I applaud the initiative announced by Our President vis-a-vis a manned mission to Mars. Wouldn't it be a hoot if we found some sort of previously-unimaginable form of sentience? What an opportunity the Red Planet represents! Why, it's a chance to introduce Humanity's Enemy, slithering out of the red mud flats and gobbling up our shiny, innocent ( Read more... )

As I sip my coffee here in this all-night greasy spoon and tap idly at my insubstantial keyboard, I cannot help but think of my dear love, nestled away somewhere deep within the bosom of Gruphoogicon HQ ( Read more... )

The temperature in the City has unexpectedly plunged. The good citizens nervy enough to brave the cold are bundled in jackets, pea coats, knit caps and parkas. Women wearing mittens struggle to find anything in their purses. Snow plows scrape at the streets ceaselessly. At night, would-be do-gooders sweep through the back alleys searching for ( Read more... )

Last night, while tossing back cocktails in one of the City's more anonymous waterholes I was accosted by a young man, a sometime confidante of mine. Apparently he had read the previous post in this journal and was convinced that my less-than-complimentary portrait of the Red Bull was, sans doubte, him. A scuffle broke out, and a perfectly good ( Read more... )

I return to an earlier notion of mine, that the key to success lies in acquiring a select group of like-minded companions, a team similarly committed to the shared goal of world domination. If only the available talent pool was a bit less... shallow ( Read more... )

As the automobile I'd stolen a few hours prior expanded into a fireball over my right shoulder, I fought to keep my pace steady. I was headed to airport check-in. My expression was friendly, despite the throbbing in my toe. Even now, as I write, the pain is still coming and going, like a most insistent static across a particularly good episode of ' ( Read more... )

Terribly confused by signs near airport. I am 'arriving' at the airport, but I want to make a 'departure', so which lane is the correct one for me? And what happens if I stay in 'short-term' parking for too long, or I don't linger long enough to qualify as a 'long-term' parker ( Read more... )

Let me rush to answer this new objection before it even is properly voiced. "How is it, Dr. Neutrino, that you have such a solid net connection, such a panoply of sophisticated bio-ware gear but you don't know how to drive a car ( Read more... )