This is not an essay question

[evilgerbil]

In regards to dating, can a person be too picky? Why or why not? Please show your work.

I'd like to have an opinion on this but I'm too tired to think. So you get to think for me :) This is one of those sayings that gets tossed around all the time, but what does it actually mean?

Comments

[lilusako]

I think i'm far too picky - hence why i haven't gone on a date in decades. but then again I think i'm picky because i like to imagine that i'm a person with a mind of my own.

as far as too picky... i guess i have a set of standards now that are required for potential dating and it just seems like these standards that i have is like asking the impossible.

[aschedjidoi]

It depends on why you're dating someone. If you're just looking for pleasant company/etc for a non-specific amount of time... Then you can be too picky. If you're looking for some long-term-potential-marriage-thing... Then you should be picky.

Or, you know, there's just having a certain level of standards that people just don't meet... Which isn't pickiness, it's just fishing from a bad dating pool. It's not your fault if the man-fish are too retarded to properly eat the interest-bait.

Or something.

[natetg]

I'll only go out with female nobel laureates under the age of 40.

More seriously, if you're not catching what you want, it might be time to fish elsewhere.

[blank_redge]

Yes, it's possible to be too picky, wanting (or worse, trying to force) someone to be what *they* expect that person to be, instead of accepting the person for who they are, foibles and all.

It's also possible to not be picky enough, setting no standards of what you want in a mate/relationship, and coming to realize that Pros A, B, and C do not outweigh Cons X, Y, an Z.

Mostly, I think it's about knowing what you want, what you expect, and what your comfort zones are, and trying to find someone that meshes with that.

[stacymckenna]

it's a tricky thing, writing these lists. Sometimes things we think are critical turn out to be not so important, while things we would have never thought to put on the list become deal breakers.

Long term prospects for me have never shown up while I was focused on a list. They always have just dropped into my lap when I wasn't looking for anything, really. I think being in that mindset allows us to more easily just see and appreciate people for who/what they are and feel whether or not a connection is viable.