Happy Birthday, Baby 06.4.5 (First Christmas fic)
Present time! Here is your first Christmas present! Thank you everyone :D
Title: Happy Birthday, Baby
Fandom: RPS
Story: Asynchronous Communication 06.4.5
Characters: Alan Davies and Robert Sean Leonard
Authors: michelleann68 + evila_elf = evila_ann
Prompt: coclaim10064 Present
Word Count: 4469
Rating: R
Summary: It is Robert’s birthday. What does he get?
Authors’ Notes: (Our regular fics will resume on Jan 1st)
Where it all began:
Big table of prompts is here:
Order of the story is here:
Note: These fics all take place in the past, not in the current timeline. This one takes place while Robert is in LA and Alan in London following Alan's accident
It had been a long day. One of the bright spots was, in the middle of his birthday celebration with the cast, receiving a text message from Alan: “*kisses* Happy Birthday Love, call me when you get home. AD” Hugh had noticed the flush in his face and asked him to read the message to the class. Robert blanched for a minute, then lied and said Ethan had sent him a birthday message. He was not about to read the message from Alan out loud.
The second highlight was the box on his doorstep with a note requesting that it remain unopened until a phone call was made.
Robert wondered if he would ever have Alan’s timing. It made him feel so warm inside knowing that somewhere someone was thinking of him and looking out for him. Leaning against the door, Robert felt the loneliness of Hollywood. He was here, surrounded by people. Everywhere he turned he saw them, ran into them, and talked to them, but there was no sense of home, of belonging. He loved the House set, but the camaraderie did not linger. He went to dinner with Hugh a few times a month, wanting to break up the boredom and the monotony of the grinding schedule that Hugh endured. Most nights, and for that matter on non-filming days, he had begun to feel lonely. The malaise was significant; the drive that sustained him in New York seemed to vanish out here, evaporate in the sun of California.
Robert shut the door behind him and tossed the keys onto the small table inside the entryway. It was only 6 pm, an early day, and he was glad to be rid of it. He closed his eyes and listened to the silence. He could almost hear Alan. He wanted to touch him tonight, talking seemed like not enough, needing reassurance, Hugh’s impromptu (or so he thought) birthday celebration had worn him out; it was all too much to pretend and go along with.
If this was a perfect birthday, then Alan would be knocking on the door and they would hide out together, laughing and touching, for the next three days. But Robert smiled and thought sadly to himself, This is most certainly not a fairy tale. Real life is not that cut and dried.
Shaking the box gently, Robert dug his cell out of his pocket, and set down his backpack that he brought to work, stuffed with contraband Sodoku puzzles, a book, and his iPod. Today a few gifts from his cast mates joined the mêlée. He walked to the couch and stretched out, setting the box on the coffee table. Knowing Alan, he would want him to open the package when they were talking to each other.
Robert pressed the speed dial and listened to the phone ring, as he checked the clock on the DVD player and calculated how late it was in London.
“Happy Birthday,” was the mumbled greeting. Alan had been caught dozing, music playing quietly in the background. He covered up the yawn that threatened to escape.
“How did you know it was me?”
“Who else is going to call at,” there was a pause, “three am?”
“We can talk later, I just thought…”
“No, no, I want to hear about your big day - tell me about it.”
“It was ok,” Robert paused, then added, “they had cake and punch on the set.”
“What are you not telling me?”
Robert stuttered.
“It can not be that bad.”
“Hugh hired a stripper…a male stripper.”
“That is brilliant, I should have done that!”
“What, it was…I was… oh so embarrassing.”
“Robert, you really need to relax, what was embarrassing about it?”
“It…was…a…stripper.”
“Was she hot?”
Robert rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, finally taking his glasses off and setting them on the table next to the box, doubting that he would get to open it any time soon. “It was a man, I told you that.”
“Was he hot?”
“You really aren’t helping here.”
Alan laughed heartily. “What did you do?”
“What do you think?”
“Let’s see, you stammered and stuttered, probably pinched the bridge of you nose, turned bright pink and then turned away, wishing it was all a figment of your imagination.”
“You nailed it,” Robert said with a sigh.
“I would like to nail you.”
“What?”
“Just seeing if you’re paying attention.”
“I am now. It was… just…so…”
“Tell me all about it. What happened? I am sorry I missed it.”
“I have never been so embarrassed.”
“I bet I could embarrass you even more, right now.”
“I doubt that.”
“Wanna have phone sex?”
Robert was silent a moment. “You win,” he grudgingly admitted.
“Thanks. So see, it was not that bad. Tell me what happened.”
Robert groaned, a little louder then necessary, and Alan smiled, knowing he was finally getting Robert to relax a little. “Well, it seemed like a perfectly respectful gathering.”
“With Hugh there, I doubt it.”
“Lisa and Jen brought in a cake in the shape of a lab coat. With candles for buttons. It was a beautiful cake.”
“Save me a piece?”
“Doubt it would survive the shipping, I can send you a picture.”
“You are telling me there are photos of this extravaganza?”
Robert flushed. He had been planning on leaving that little detail out. “Yes, Jesse made sure to capture the Kodak moments.”
“Any video?”
“I hope not.”
“Sounds like a proper party.”
“You really are no help, I thought I might get some sympathy.”
“Oh. That bastard Hugh.. How could … he… do that.” Alan said very slowly and with out any inflection to his words.
“Fine, enjoy my humiliation.”
“What humiliation? Seems like a normal party so far, cake delivered by two beautiful women, when do we get to the naked man part?”
“Patience.” Robert gave up his own, finally closing his eyes as he ran his hand down his body. For a second he thought of Alan’s hand replacing his, then he realized what he was doing and quit. “Okay, so cake.”
“Are you all right? You dropped off for a second.”
“You are making it difficult to tell this story.”
“Awww, am I too hard on you?” Alan’s voice was imbued with humor.
Robert shifted on the couch, trying to get comfortable. “I’m fine. After cake and some punch, there were a small stack of gifts to open.”
“That was nice. Was the cake good?”
“Yes, but I was too worried about the gift part to eat much. Hugh looked smug.”
“He is a clever bastard, so what else did you get?”
Robert closed his eyes, again his hand wanting to wander. Maybe phone sex was the next best thing, but there was no way he could ask. He would just want Alan to take over, and he had no idea how to go about bringing it up. Instead, he stretched out, his feet pressing against the edges of the couch. “Let’s see.” Rubbing his eyes, he went back in time remembering what else had happened. “Omar was first up; he gave me a gift card to a used book store.”
“Very thoughtful, are you looking for a specific book?”
“No, but I can burn a few hours browsing when I am not needed on set. Then Jesse shoved an envelope at me. I opened it, and it was for Netflix, a DVD rental service.”
“Another gift to keep boredom from setting in?”
“I never thought about it that way, but we are establishing a theme here.”
Alan laughed, wondering if the stripper would fit the theme. Alan was more than willing to volunteer for the job.
“Lisa was up next. It was a beautifully wrapped box, inside a new shirt.”
“What color?”
“Blue.”
“That is a nice color, but what kinda blue? Or are there pictures of that too?”
“Yes, Jesse was snapping away. Lots of pictures, I am sure my eyes are closed in most of them, or that I look drunk.”
“Still want to see them.”
“I know I know, pushy tonight.”
“I just wish I was there.”
“Honestly, I half thought you would be, but I knew you were working, and …”
“Yeah. I have already been spoiled by your bedside manner. Something I could get use to.”
Robert laughed, and felt a twinge in his stomach. He wanted to tell Alan that he wished they could get together before May, but he did not want to seem too needy. “So, where was I? Oh yes, Lisa and shirt. By this time, Hugh’s eyes were shining and I started to get a little nervous. He looked like a five-year-old who had used his mother’s best pots to make mud pie. Jen handed me a small box and I opened it, it was a very nice tie. I guess word is out that I only have five ties…and it went with Lisa’s shirt. I guess that is a hint.”
“I have nothing to add. I get teased enough with my choices in clothes.”
“Naked works for me.” Robert closed his eyes and blushed, he hadn’t planned on saying that out loud. He tried to move on hoping that Alan did not notice. “So, all the gifts neatly stowed away, and we all looked at Hugh. He shrugged and said he forgot. Lisa teased him. She had texted him everyday for a week so he wouldn’t. I was really worried by this point and I started to turn, ready to look for the nearest escape path in case of an emergency. Too bad he called out my name before I found one. As I turned, he snapped his fingers and out popped…a man….dressed as…” Robert trailed off, the memory making him shiver.
“A doctor?”
“Yes, with stethoscope and a long lab coat.”
“Confused?”
“Very. I was trying to figure what I was supposed to do...”
“Robert, you know what to do with a half naked man in front of you.”
Robert stuttered. “I know what to do with you naked in front of me. Even clothed, for that matter.”
“Nice save. So, this half-naked doctor is in front of you…have we established that he was hot?”
“Well, umm I guess he…” Robert sighed. “Do I need to do this?”
“Love, I am secure. If you found him hot, then bully for Hugh for getting you a hot guy.”
“Well, he was … a nice looking man.”
Alan laughed.
“I stood frozen and he pulled out a boom box.”
“A boom box? From where?”
“Behind him, silly. Then he pressed play.”
“This has to be good! What Song?”
“Doctor, Doctor.”
“As in ‘bad case of loving you’ or as in ‘can’t you see I’m burning burning’?”
“The latter,” Robert’s voice lowered slightly, his cheeks burning.
“There’s video too?”
“Not sure, but it will be destroyed if it exists.”
“Awww, you’re no fun.”
“But Hugh gave me a male stripper! Everyone was staring!”
“Robert, I am sure they were just thinking about House and Wilson, but really, you need to worry about this less.”
“I…it just feels like an invasion of my privacy since Hugh knows about…this.”
“No more than a female stripper. Honestly, think about it.”
Robert was silent. Alan had it easy. But Robert always seemed to struggle with everything. Every decision felt like it was life ending or at least altering.
“So a semi-hot guy is dancing in front of you while playing The Thompson Twins. Nice visual.”
“And he starts to strip.”
“Brilliant.”
“Lisa and Jen were laughing, Jesse was amused, and Omar just rolled his eyes.”
“Hugh?”
“He was grinning like he just ate a canary.”
“Then got his kit off?”
“Hugh kept his clothes on. The man in question was thankfully distracted while Lisa and Jen surrounded him and they all were doing something resembling dancing.”
“Now that is hot.”
“Alan, really,” Robert scolded.
“You sure there is no vid?” He heard Robert laugh and smiled, finally getting what he wanted, to get Robert to relax and finally start to see some humor in the situation.
“Yes, no vid.”
“Did Hugh join the melee?”
“No, he just stood off to one side and laughed: He was quite proud.”
“As he should be. So the girls were dancing, he was halfway dressed…go on painting me a picture.”
“And I was standing there gawking.”
“I wish there was video,” Alan groaned.
“So, you have said.”
“Then what happened?” he urged.
“He looks at Jesse and asks who the birthday boy is. Jesse laughs and does this little gesture with his hands to indicate it is not him, and points to me. At this point the crew start to head over and there is quite a crowd around us.”
“Did he involve you in the dance?”
“Yes, but not before the song changed.”
“This will be good. What was the next song?” Alan was trying not to laugh, having to bite at his cheek, but was able to keep silent, knowing how tough this must have been.
“I Want Candy. You know…”
“I like candy when it’s wrapped in a sweater.”
“That’s the one.” Robert’s voice lightened a little bit more.
“Did he want some of your candy?”
“You could say that. He put the stethoscope around my neck and took off the lab coat.”
“Well, better to see his rock hard abs. Did he have rock hard abs?”
“Alan, this is hard enough…”
“I guess the bigger question is, are you?”
Robert sputtered. He ghosted his hand over his ever-hardening erection and wondered if Alan was able to sense what he was doing. He did not respond, waiting for Alan speak.
“So, Love, after he took off the lab coat, what happened?”
“You are patronizing me now.”
“I am moving this story along. You seem hung up on his abs…maybe I need to start working out.”
“I like your tummy. It’s better to cuddle with something soft than something that is sharp and hard.”
Alan thought of a thousand retorts, but bit his tongue. He needed to accept Robert opening up a little more. Teasing him too much would shut him down, and Alan was enjoying this conversation too much. “So, I should add more donuts to my diet? And say it’s all for you?”
“Something like that. Well, I had no idea what to do, he touched my shoulders and tried to get me to relax. I was mortified, then he walked around me.”
“When I see you next time, we will practice.”
“That’s okay, I don’t ever want to experience this again.”
“Not even if it was me, breathing hot on your neck?”
Robert shivered and hoped that Alan could not hear his sharp intake of breath. He wanted nothing more right now than to have Alan breathing on his neck. Robert shifted again, having a hard time focussing. He was slowing replacing the stripper’s image with Alan’s.
Taking a long deep breath, Robert chanted to himself, think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts, but he found that it just made him want to think about a naked Alan even more. ”Hugh brought a chair up behind me. And he put a hand on my shoulder making me sit down. Then the song changed.”
“Your own little play list?”
“Something like that. This was a rare one.”
“Are you going to make me guess?”
“That would be fun. Twenty questions?”
“You are going to make me work for this, alright, US artist?”
“No.”
“British?”
“Yes.”
“Band?”
“Yes.”
“I’ve heard this before?”
“Once or twice at least.”
“Band from the 90’s?”
“No.”
“70’s?”
Robert giggled, “No.”
“Sixties? Pretty old.”
“Yes and yes, it is old.”
“Is the band still known?”
“Is that typing I hear, are you cheating?”
“Just making the game go faster.”
“Still cheating.”
“Tomato, tomahto.” Alan smiled. “Found it.”
“Fine, then tell me what it is.”
“There is no way I would have gotten the song. I don’t think it was ever in the top ten.”
“You are right, but it was fun to make you guess. So tell me.”
“You sing it.”
“I will sing it if you tell me.”
“You drive a hard bargain. Dr. Robert by the Beatles?”
“Bingo! The internet is a wonderful thing.”
“Yes it is, and I don’t hear singing.” Alan lowered his voice, hoping to provoke a response. “Serenade me, Love.” He heard Robert let out a shaky breath, and was pleased.
“Let’s see if I can remember; I was a little distracted.”
“So, you did find him hot?”
“I will never win here, will I?”
“No, surrender is your best bet. Sing for me.”
Robert closed his eyes, and saw Alan sitting between his legs, a hungry look in his eyes. He opened his own eyes and his mind went blank. “Can you get me started?”
“There are many ways for me to get you started. First I would take my hand...”
“Alan, the song.”
Alan laughed. He would be surprised if Robert did not have a growing problem on his hands. Phone sex was so tempting, but he wouldn’t push it tonight. Maybe some other time.
“Alright, I will help you, I am always willing to give you a helping hand, or a helping mouth, whatever the case may require:
Ring, my friend I said you'd call
Doctor Robert
Day or night he'll be there any time at all
Doctor Robert”
Robert was lost again, focussing on thoughts of Alan’s mouth rather than the lyrics. After a pause, he was finally able to gather his thoughts enough to pick up where Alan left off:
Doctor Robert
You're a new and better man
He help you to understand
He does everything he can
Doctor Robert
If you're down he'll pick you up
Doctor Robert
Take a drink from his special cup
Doctor Robert
Doctor Robert
He's a man you must believe
Helping anyone in need
No one can succeed like
Doctor Robert
How was that?”
“You have a lovely voice. You should sing more.”
“Its okay. I am not a singer, but I can carry a tune.”
“Now the picture is finally coming together: You in a chair, Dr. Robert blaring from the boom box, and the stripper, where is he?”
“Straddling my lap.”
“Oh very nice.”
“Lisa was holding me down so I couldn’t flee.”
“That is a better one. She is hot.”
“You do this to get a rise out of me.”
“And by the sound of things I think that goal was accomplished.”
“Alan, can I open your gift now?”
“Nice change in subject, but I want to know what happened with the stripper? Did he have a name?”
Robert whispered, “He went by ‘The Love Doctor.’”
“This just gets better and better. I really need to congratulate Hugh on this.”
“After I kill him.”
“Robert, you really need to relax, it was just a little fun, no harm done. It made it a memorable day.”
Robert tilted his head back and rubbed his hand through his hair. “Yes, it is a day not soon forgotten, but it was more fun telling you than living through it.”
“I will promise you the only stripper I would ever give you is me. You are safe. As much fun as this was, I know how shy you are. Hugh certainty knew what buttons to push.”
“You do, too.”
“Hopefully in only the best ways.”
Robert’s pass across his groin was harder this time, pressing into the flesh and feeling little resistance, it was kind of nice, lying here talking to Alan, feeling the need, just teetering there between doing something and enjoying the feeling of wanting to do something. “Always in the best ways. You certainly have been a first for me in many ways.”
“I hope in many more, too. So back to the story at hand, or is that in your lap?”
Robert was caught off guard, his hand was squeezing his erection and Alan just confused him “What?”
Alan laughed. “The dancer Love, he was in your lap?”
“Yes, Lisa’s hands on my shoulders and Jen was standing behind the stripper watching his ass.”
“He took off the lab coat?”
“Yes, was just wearing some Speedos.”
“How was he hung?”
“Alan!”
“Hey, I told you to paint me a picture and you leave out all sorts of details. I am just trying to get to the heart of the matter.”
“They were blue, to match the scrubs and lab coat. He had nothing to be ashamed of, and he never seemed to get hard no matter how much Lisa touched him. She seemed quite intrigued by him.”
“Much better. Please continue.”
“He did not go the full monty, if that is what you are going to ask next.”
“Damn, so…uh…how did he leave you?”
“Alan, that is terrible!”
“Love, you are getting worked up again. I meant, what was his finale? Did he leave on a high note? I know it was not a hard one.”
Robert laughed. “I guess I am just adding in your subtext. He ended by grabbing Lisa and spinning her around, ending her in a dip. Everyone clapped, I was an appropriate shade of red, then the party broke up.”
“Sounds like a nice day overall. You know they care.”
“I guess so.” Robert parted his legs a little, and settled his hand on his hardness, sucking in a little breath. He rubbed himself a few times, enjoying the friction that played along the shaft. “How was your day?”
“Forgetting something?”
“No, just enjoying talking to you.”
“I know, Love, I...”
“Shit, it is really late, what time is your wake up?”
“Six am...”
“I am so sorry.”
“Robert, please no apologies, I was enjoying myself. I really wanted to celebrate your day with you.”
“I am glad we could celebrate a little.” Robert picked up the box and wedged the phone against his ear with his shoulder, then went to work on opening it. “What did you seal this with? Super glue?”
“I wanted to make sure it was safe.”
“Let me get scissors, one sec…”
“Robert…” Alan waited till he heard Robert return. “Be careful, scissors are dangerous, be sure not to slip.”
“I promise I will be very careful.” Robert cut gently around the sides and he opened the box, then the phone dropped to the ground, temporarily forgotten, and he didn’t pick it up. He wanted to cry. It was, so thoughtful, and no doubt hard to find. He finally remembered the phone and picked it back up. “Alan, this is too much.”
“Anything for you, I thought it would go well with your Tony.”
“What a beautiful book.”
“I could not find a true first edition. This one was published in 1911. I was not sure on which one, so I settled on A Shropshire Lad since it was his first book. And the one he self-published initially.”
“How did you know?”
“In New York I looked at your books, and you had no Housman. I though that was strange, since you played him, and you are a diligent researcher, I thought it would be...”
“It is perfect, I want to read it, but I don’t want to hurt it. I did research, but I went to the library mostly, money was tight then.”
“Well, read it, enjoy it, I want to hear you recite your favorite bits when I lay in bed with you arms wrapped around me.”
“I miss you so much right now. I want to kiss you. Saying thank you just does not seem like enough.”
“It is all I need to hear. I miss you too, but the weeks will fly by, and soon you will be here. I will finish up the next shoot and then we can make up for times like this.”
Robert lay the book gently back in the box and laid back on the couch, stretching his body out. He put his hand over his eyes and closed them, blocking out this apartment in LA, and trying to picture Alan laying next to him.
“Love, you memorize a few poems and I will work on a routine and give you a strip tease, without the tease part, that you will not soon forget.”
Robert snorted. “Sounds like a plan. One request, if I may?”
“You want Hugh to join us?”
Robert laughed. “No, nothing so scandalous, just no Speedos.”
“What do you want me to wear? I figured no to the doctor thing, that would be your alter ego, so to speak.”
“How about a detective? You can search for clues.”
“I could search you and see what comes up.”
“And how would you deal with such a situation?”
“Well, the way any detective would: You follow the clue and stay on top of it until you see what comes of it, follow it to the end.”
Robert’s hand returned to the vee of his legs, starting to get hard again. “That sounds good. You always played a very thorough detective, I can’t wait till I can see you examine me.”
“I still have the duffel coat, if you want authentic?”
“Sounds good to me.”
“Short hair, though. I refuse to get those bloody extensions again?”
“I prefer it shorter anyway. Alan you need some rest.”
“I would prefer just talking to you.”
“I know. IM tomorrow? From the set?”
“Sounds lovely. You take care of your situation, and I will go to sleep.”
“How did you know?”
“Love, I know you, your voice betrays you.”
“Shit, I thought I was being coy.”
“Nope, you get some rest and I want to see pictures!”
“Of me?”
“Well, if you are offering, sure.”
“You have me all worked up now.”
“Good, just the way I like to think of you.”
“Thanks for the perfect end to my birthday. You will be next.”
“Yes, but I doubt my co-stars will be getting me strippers. We all barely talk to each other.”
“Let me know where to send your present.”
“No need Robert. Just hearing your voice is enough. Have a wonderful evening, and sleep well.”
“Alan, thanks for the book, it is very special to me. Sleep well. We will talk in the afternoon.”
“Happy Birthday, Love.”
“Good bye Alan.” Robert pressed end on his phone and sat in the dark for a while, not wanting to lose the warmth he felt from the other end of the cell. He just laid there, smiling, thinking that this was really the best birthday he had in a long time. His hand reached out and touched the edge of the book, and thought of Alan stripping, a smile broke out on his face; he was really looking forward to seeing that performance.
To return to story:
6.5 Reflecting Reflectins
Title: Happy Birthday, Baby
Fandom: RPS
Story: Asynchronous Communication 06.4.5
Characters: Alan Davies and Robert Sean Leonard
Authors: michelleann68 + evila_elf = evila_ann
Prompt: coclaim10064 Present
Word Count: 4469
Rating: R
Summary: It is Robert’s birthday. What does he get?
Authors’ Notes: (Our regular fics will resume on Jan 1st)
Where it all began:
Big table of prompts is here:
Order of the story is here:
Note: These fics all take place in the past, not in the current timeline. This one takes place while Robert is in LA and Alan in London following Alan's accident
It had been a long day. One of the bright spots was, in the middle of his birthday celebration with the cast, receiving a text message from Alan: “*kisses* Happy Birthday Love, call me when you get home. AD” Hugh had noticed the flush in his face and asked him to read the message to the class. Robert blanched for a minute, then lied and said Ethan had sent him a birthday message. He was not about to read the message from Alan out loud.
The second highlight was the box on his doorstep with a note requesting that it remain unopened until a phone call was made.
Robert wondered if he would ever have Alan’s timing. It made him feel so warm inside knowing that somewhere someone was thinking of him and looking out for him. Leaning against the door, Robert felt the loneliness of Hollywood. He was here, surrounded by people. Everywhere he turned he saw them, ran into them, and talked to them, but there was no sense of home, of belonging. He loved the House set, but the camaraderie did not linger. He went to dinner with Hugh a few times a month, wanting to break up the boredom and the monotony of the grinding schedule that Hugh endured. Most nights, and for that matter on non-filming days, he had begun to feel lonely. The malaise was significant; the drive that sustained him in New York seemed to vanish out here, evaporate in the sun of California.
Robert shut the door behind him and tossed the keys onto the small table inside the entryway. It was only 6 pm, an early day, and he was glad to be rid of it. He closed his eyes and listened to the silence. He could almost hear Alan. He wanted to touch him tonight, talking seemed like not enough, needing reassurance, Hugh’s impromptu (or so he thought) birthday celebration had worn him out; it was all too much to pretend and go along with.
If this was a perfect birthday, then Alan would be knocking on the door and they would hide out together, laughing and touching, for the next three days. But Robert smiled and thought sadly to himself, This is most certainly not a fairy tale. Real life is not that cut and dried.
Shaking the box gently, Robert dug his cell out of his pocket, and set down his backpack that he brought to work, stuffed with contraband Sodoku puzzles, a book, and his iPod. Today a few gifts from his cast mates joined the mêlée. He walked to the couch and stretched out, setting the box on the coffee table. Knowing Alan, he would want him to open the package when they were talking to each other.
Robert pressed the speed dial and listened to the phone ring, as he checked the clock on the DVD player and calculated how late it was in London.
“Happy Birthday,” was the mumbled greeting. Alan had been caught dozing, music playing quietly in the background. He covered up the yawn that threatened to escape.
“How did you know it was me?”
“Who else is going to call at,” there was a pause, “three am?”
“We can talk later, I just thought…”
“No, no, I want to hear about your big day - tell me about it.”
“It was ok,” Robert paused, then added, “they had cake and punch on the set.”
“What are you not telling me?”
Robert stuttered.
“It can not be that bad.”
“Hugh hired a stripper…a male stripper.”
“That is brilliant, I should have done that!”
“What, it was…I was… oh so embarrassing.”
“Robert, you really need to relax, what was embarrassing about it?”
“It…was…a…stripper.”
“Was she hot?”
Robert rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, finally taking his glasses off and setting them on the table next to the box, doubting that he would get to open it any time soon. “It was a man, I told you that.”
“Was he hot?”
“You really aren’t helping here.”
Alan laughed heartily. “What did you do?”
“What do you think?”
“Let’s see, you stammered and stuttered, probably pinched the bridge of you nose, turned bright pink and then turned away, wishing it was all a figment of your imagination.”
“You nailed it,” Robert said with a sigh.
“I would like to nail you.”
“What?”
“Just seeing if you’re paying attention.”
“I am now. It was… just…so…”
“Tell me all about it. What happened? I am sorry I missed it.”
“I have never been so embarrassed.”
“I bet I could embarrass you even more, right now.”
“I doubt that.”
“Wanna have phone sex?”
Robert was silent a moment. “You win,” he grudgingly admitted.
“Thanks. So see, it was not that bad. Tell me what happened.”
Robert groaned, a little louder then necessary, and Alan smiled, knowing he was finally getting Robert to relax a little. “Well, it seemed like a perfectly respectful gathering.”
“With Hugh there, I doubt it.”
“Lisa and Jen brought in a cake in the shape of a lab coat. With candles for buttons. It was a beautiful cake.”
“Save me a piece?”
“Doubt it would survive the shipping, I can send you a picture.”
“You are telling me there are photos of this extravaganza?”
Robert flushed. He had been planning on leaving that little detail out. “Yes, Jesse made sure to capture the Kodak moments.”
“Any video?”
“I hope not.”
“Sounds like a proper party.”
“You really are no help, I thought I might get some sympathy.”
“Oh. That bastard Hugh.. How could … he… do that.” Alan said very slowly and with out any inflection to his words.
“Fine, enjoy my humiliation.”
“What humiliation? Seems like a normal party so far, cake delivered by two beautiful women, when do we get to the naked man part?”
“Patience.” Robert gave up his own, finally closing his eyes as he ran his hand down his body. For a second he thought of Alan’s hand replacing his, then he realized what he was doing and quit. “Okay, so cake.”
“Are you all right? You dropped off for a second.”
“You are making it difficult to tell this story.”
“Awww, am I too hard on you?” Alan’s voice was imbued with humor.
Robert shifted on the couch, trying to get comfortable. “I’m fine. After cake and some punch, there were a small stack of gifts to open.”
“That was nice. Was the cake good?”
“Yes, but I was too worried about the gift part to eat much. Hugh looked smug.”
“He is a clever bastard, so what else did you get?”
Robert closed his eyes, again his hand wanting to wander. Maybe phone sex was the next best thing, but there was no way he could ask. He would just want Alan to take over, and he had no idea how to go about bringing it up. Instead, he stretched out, his feet pressing against the edges of the couch. “Let’s see.” Rubbing his eyes, he went back in time remembering what else had happened. “Omar was first up; he gave me a gift card to a used book store.”
“Very thoughtful, are you looking for a specific book?”
“No, but I can burn a few hours browsing when I am not needed on set. Then Jesse shoved an envelope at me. I opened it, and it was for Netflix, a DVD rental service.”
“Another gift to keep boredom from setting in?”
“I never thought about it that way, but we are establishing a theme here.”
Alan laughed, wondering if the stripper would fit the theme. Alan was more than willing to volunteer for the job.
“Lisa was up next. It was a beautifully wrapped box, inside a new shirt.”
“What color?”
“Blue.”
“That is a nice color, but what kinda blue? Or are there pictures of that too?”
“Yes, Jesse was snapping away. Lots of pictures, I am sure my eyes are closed in most of them, or that I look drunk.”
“Still want to see them.”
“I know I know, pushy tonight.”
“I just wish I was there.”
“Honestly, I half thought you would be, but I knew you were working, and …”
“Yeah. I have already been spoiled by your bedside manner. Something I could get use to.”
Robert laughed, and felt a twinge in his stomach. He wanted to tell Alan that he wished they could get together before May, but he did not want to seem too needy. “So, where was I? Oh yes, Lisa and shirt. By this time, Hugh’s eyes were shining and I started to get a little nervous. He looked like a five-year-old who had used his mother’s best pots to make mud pie. Jen handed me a small box and I opened it, it was a very nice tie. I guess word is out that I only have five ties…and it went with Lisa’s shirt. I guess that is a hint.”
“I have nothing to add. I get teased enough with my choices in clothes.”
“Naked works for me.” Robert closed his eyes and blushed, he hadn’t planned on saying that out loud. He tried to move on hoping that Alan did not notice. “So, all the gifts neatly stowed away, and we all looked at Hugh. He shrugged and said he forgot. Lisa teased him. She had texted him everyday for a week so he wouldn’t. I was really worried by this point and I started to turn, ready to look for the nearest escape path in case of an emergency. Too bad he called out my name before I found one. As I turned, he snapped his fingers and out popped…a man….dressed as…” Robert trailed off, the memory making him shiver.
“A doctor?”
“Yes, with stethoscope and a long lab coat.”
“Confused?”
“Very. I was trying to figure what I was supposed to do...”
“Robert, you know what to do with a half naked man in front of you.”
Robert stuttered. “I know what to do with you naked in front of me. Even clothed, for that matter.”
“Nice save. So, this half-naked doctor is in front of you…have we established that he was hot?”
“Well, umm I guess he…” Robert sighed. “Do I need to do this?”
“Love, I am secure. If you found him hot, then bully for Hugh for getting you a hot guy.”
“Well, he was … a nice looking man.”
Alan laughed.
“I stood frozen and he pulled out a boom box.”
“A boom box? From where?”
“Behind him, silly. Then he pressed play.”
“This has to be good! What Song?”
“Doctor, Doctor.”
“As in ‘bad case of loving you’ or as in ‘can’t you see I’m burning burning’?”
“The latter,” Robert’s voice lowered slightly, his cheeks burning.
“There’s video too?”
“Not sure, but it will be destroyed if it exists.”
“Awww, you’re no fun.”
“But Hugh gave me a male stripper! Everyone was staring!”
“Robert, I am sure they were just thinking about House and Wilson, but really, you need to worry about this less.”
“I…it just feels like an invasion of my privacy since Hugh knows about…this.”
“No more than a female stripper. Honestly, think about it.”
Robert was silent. Alan had it easy. But Robert always seemed to struggle with everything. Every decision felt like it was life ending or at least altering.
“So a semi-hot guy is dancing in front of you while playing The Thompson Twins. Nice visual.”
“And he starts to strip.”
“Brilliant.”
“Lisa and Jen were laughing, Jesse was amused, and Omar just rolled his eyes.”
“Hugh?”
“He was grinning like he just ate a canary.”
“Then got his kit off?”
“Hugh kept his clothes on. The man in question was thankfully distracted while Lisa and Jen surrounded him and they all were doing something resembling dancing.”
“Now that is hot.”
“Alan, really,” Robert scolded.
“You sure there is no vid?” He heard Robert laugh and smiled, finally getting what he wanted, to get Robert to relax and finally start to see some humor in the situation.
“Yes, no vid.”
“Did Hugh join the melee?”
“No, he just stood off to one side and laughed: He was quite proud.”
“As he should be. So the girls were dancing, he was halfway dressed…go on painting me a picture.”
“And I was standing there gawking.”
“I wish there was video,” Alan groaned.
“So, you have said.”
“Then what happened?” he urged.
“He looks at Jesse and asks who the birthday boy is. Jesse laughs and does this little gesture with his hands to indicate it is not him, and points to me. At this point the crew start to head over and there is quite a crowd around us.”
“Did he involve you in the dance?”
“Yes, but not before the song changed.”
“This will be good. What was the next song?” Alan was trying not to laugh, having to bite at his cheek, but was able to keep silent, knowing how tough this must have been.
“I Want Candy. You know…”
“I like candy when it’s wrapped in a sweater.”
“That’s the one.” Robert’s voice lightened a little bit more.
“Did he want some of your candy?”
“You could say that. He put the stethoscope around my neck and took off the lab coat.”
“Well, better to see his rock hard abs. Did he have rock hard abs?”
“Alan, this is hard enough…”
“I guess the bigger question is, are you?”
Robert sputtered. He ghosted his hand over his ever-hardening erection and wondered if Alan was able to sense what he was doing. He did not respond, waiting for Alan speak.
“So, Love, after he took off the lab coat, what happened?”
“You are patronizing me now.”
“I am moving this story along. You seem hung up on his abs…maybe I need to start working out.”
“I like your tummy. It’s better to cuddle with something soft than something that is sharp and hard.”
Alan thought of a thousand retorts, but bit his tongue. He needed to accept Robert opening up a little more. Teasing him too much would shut him down, and Alan was enjoying this conversation too much. “So, I should add more donuts to my diet? And say it’s all for you?”
“Something like that. Well, I had no idea what to do, he touched my shoulders and tried to get me to relax. I was mortified, then he walked around me.”
“When I see you next time, we will practice.”
“That’s okay, I don’t ever want to experience this again.”
“Not even if it was me, breathing hot on your neck?”
Robert shivered and hoped that Alan could not hear his sharp intake of breath. He wanted nothing more right now than to have Alan breathing on his neck. Robert shifted again, having a hard time focussing. He was slowing replacing the stripper’s image with Alan’s.
Taking a long deep breath, Robert chanted to himself, think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts, but he found that it just made him want to think about a naked Alan even more. ”Hugh brought a chair up behind me. And he put a hand on my shoulder making me sit down. Then the song changed.”
“Your own little play list?”
“Something like that. This was a rare one.”
“Are you going to make me guess?”
“That would be fun. Twenty questions?”
“You are going to make me work for this, alright, US artist?”
“No.”
“British?”
“Yes.”
“Band?”
“Yes.”
“I’ve heard this before?”
“Once or twice at least.”
“Band from the 90’s?”
“No.”
“70’s?”
Robert giggled, “No.”
“Sixties? Pretty old.”
“Yes and yes, it is old.”
“Is the band still known?”
“Is that typing I hear, are you cheating?”
“Just making the game go faster.”
“Still cheating.”
“Tomato, tomahto.” Alan smiled. “Found it.”
“Fine, then tell me what it is.”
“There is no way I would have gotten the song. I don’t think it was ever in the top ten.”
“You are right, but it was fun to make you guess. So tell me.”
“You sing it.”
“I will sing it if you tell me.”
“You drive a hard bargain. Dr. Robert by the Beatles?”
“Bingo! The internet is a wonderful thing.”
“Yes it is, and I don’t hear singing.” Alan lowered his voice, hoping to provoke a response. “Serenade me, Love.” He heard Robert let out a shaky breath, and was pleased.
“Let’s see if I can remember; I was a little distracted.”
“So, you did find him hot?”
“I will never win here, will I?”
“No, surrender is your best bet. Sing for me.”
Robert closed his eyes, and saw Alan sitting between his legs, a hungry look in his eyes. He opened his own eyes and his mind went blank. “Can you get me started?”
“There are many ways for me to get you started. First I would take my hand...”
“Alan, the song.”
Alan laughed. He would be surprised if Robert did not have a growing problem on his hands. Phone sex was so tempting, but he wouldn’t push it tonight. Maybe some other time.
“Alright, I will help you, I am always willing to give you a helping hand, or a helping mouth, whatever the case may require:
Ring, my friend I said you'd call
Doctor Robert
Day or night he'll be there any time at all
Doctor Robert”
Robert was lost again, focussing on thoughts of Alan’s mouth rather than the lyrics. After a pause, he was finally able to gather his thoughts enough to pick up where Alan left off:
Doctor Robert
You're a new and better man
He help you to understand
He does everything he can
Doctor Robert
If you're down he'll pick you up
Doctor Robert
Take a drink from his special cup
Doctor Robert
Doctor Robert
He's a man you must believe
Helping anyone in need
No one can succeed like
Doctor Robert
How was that?”
“You have a lovely voice. You should sing more.”
“Its okay. I am not a singer, but I can carry a tune.”
“Now the picture is finally coming together: You in a chair, Dr. Robert blaring from the boom box, and the stripper, where is he?”
“Straddling my lap.”
“Oh very nice.”
“Lisa was holding me down so I couldn’t flee.”
“That is a better one. She is hot.”
“You do this to get a rise out of me.”
“And by the sound of things I think that goal was accomplished.”
“Alan, can I open your gift now?”
“Nice change in subject, but I want to know what happened with the stripper? Did he have a name?”
Robert whispered, “He went by ‘The Love Doctor.’”
“This just gets better and better. I really need to congratulate Hugh on this.”
“After I kill him.”
“Robert, you really need to relax, it was just a little fun, no harm done. It made it a memorable day.”
Robert tilted his head back and rubbed his hand through his hair. “Yes, it is a day not soon forgotten, but it was more fun telling you than living through it.”
“I will promise you the only stripper I would ever give you is me. You are safe. As much fun as this was, I know how shy you are. Hugh certainty knew what buttons to push.”
“You do, too.”
“Hopefully in only the best ways.”
Robert’s pass across his groin was harder this time, pressing into the flesh and feeling little resistance, it was kind of nice, lying here talking to Alan, feeling the need, just teetering there between doing something and enjoying the feeling of wanting to do something. “Always in the best ways. You certainly have been a first for me in many ways.”
“I hope in many more, too. So back to the story at hand, or is that in your lap?”
Robert was caught off guard, his hand was squeezing his erection and Alan just confused him “What?”
Alan laughed. “The dancer Love, he was in your lap?”
“Yes, Lisa’s hands on my shoulders and Jen was standing behind the stripper watching his ass.”
“He took off the lab coat?”
“Yes, was just wearing some Speedos.”
“How was he hung?”
“Alan!”
“Hey, I told you to paint me a picture and you leave out all sorts of details. I am just trying to get to the heart of the matter.”
“They were blue, to match the scrubs and lab coat. He had nothing to be ashamed of, and he never seemed to get hard no matter how much Lisa touched him. She seemed quite intrigued by him.”
“Much better. Please continue.”
“He did not go the full monty, if that is what you are going to ask next.”
“Damn, so…uh…how did he leave you?”
“Alan, that is terrible!”
“Love, you are getting worked up again. I meant, what was his finale? Did he leave on a high note? I know it was not a hard one.”
Robert laughed. “I guess I am just adding in your subtext. He ended by grabbing Lisa and spinning her around, ending her in a dip. Everyone clapped, I was an appropriate shade of red, then the party broke up.”
“Sounds like a nice day overall. You know they care.”
“I guess so.” Robert parted his legs a little, and settled his hand on his hardness, sucking in a little breath. He rubbed himself a few times, enjoying the friction that played along the shaft. “How was your day?”
“Forgetting something?”
“No, just enjoying talking to you.”
“I know, Love, I...”
“Shit, it is really late, what time is your wake up?”
“Six am...”
“I am so sorry.”
“Robert, please no apologies, I was enjoying myself. I really wanted to celebrate your day with you.”
“I am glad we could celebrate a little.” Robert picked up the box and wedged the phone against his ear with his shoulder, then went to work on opening it. “What did you seal this with? Super glue?”
“I wanted to make sure it was safe.”
“Let me get scissors, one sec…”
“Robert…” Alan waited till he heard Robert return. “Be careful, scissors are dangerous, be sure not to slip.”
“I promise I will be very careful.” Robert cut gently around the sides and he opened the box, then the phone dropped to the ground, temporarily forgotten, and he didn’t pick it up. He wanted to cry. It was, so thoughtful, and no doubt hard to find. He finally remembered the phone and picked it back up. “Alan, this is too much.”
“Anything for you, I thought it would go well with your Tony.”
“What a beautiful book.”
“I could not find a true first edition. This one was published in 1911. I was not sure on which one, so I settled on A Shropshire Lad since it was his first book. And the one he self-published initially.”
“How did you know?”
“In New York I looked at your books, and you had no Housman. I though that was strange, since you played him, and you are a diligent researcher, I thought it would be...”
“It is perfect, I want to read it, but I don’t want to hurt it. I did research, but I went to the library mostly, money was tight then.”
“Well, read it, enjoy it, I want to hear you recite your favorite bits when I lay in bed with you arms wrapped around me.”
“I miss you so much right now. I want to kiss you. Saying thank you just does not seem like enough.”
“It is all I need to hear. I miss you too, but the weeks will fly by, and soon you will be here. I will finish up the next shoot and then we can make up for times like this.”
Robert lay the book gently back in the box and laid back on the couch, stretching his body out. He put his hand over his eyes and closed them, blocking out this apartment in LA, and trying to picture Alan laying next to him.
“Love, you memorize a few poems and I will work on a routine and give you a strip tease, without the tease part, that you will not soon forget.”
Robert snorted. “Sounds like a plan. One request, if I may?”
“You want Hugh to join us?”
Robert laughed. “No, nothing so scandalous, just no Speedos.”
“What do you want me to wear? I figured no to the doctor thing, that would be your alter ego, so to speak.”
“How about a detective? You can search for clues.”
“I could search you and see what comes up.”
“And how would you deal with such a situation?”
“Well, the way any detective would: You follow the clue and stay on top of it until you see what comes of it, follow it to the end.”
Robert’s hand returned to the vee of his legs, starting to get hard again. “That sounds good. You always played a very thorough detective, I can’t wait till I can see you examine me.”
“I still have the duffel coat, if you want authentic?”
“Sounds good to me.”
“Short hair, though. I refuse to get those bloody extensions again?”
“I prefer it shorter anyway. Alan you need some rest.”
“I would prefer just talking to you.”
“I know. IM tomorrow? From the set?”
“Sounds lovely. You take care of your situation, and I will go to sleep.”
“How did you know?”
“Love, I know you, your voice betrays you.”
“Shit, I thought I was being coy.”
“Nope, you get some rest and I want to see pictures!”
“Of me?”
“Well, if you are offering, sure.”
“You have me all worked up now.”
“Good, just the way I like to think of you.”
“Thanks for the perfect end to my birthday. You will be next.”
“Yes, but I doubt my co-stars will be getting me strippers. We all barely talk to each other.”
“Let me know where to send your present.”
“No need Robert. Just hearing your voice is enough. Have a wonderful evening, and sleep well.”
“Alan, thanks for the book, it is very special to me. Sleep well. We will talk in the afternoon.”
“Happy Birthday, Love.”
“Good bye Alan.” Robert pressed end on his phone and sat in the dark for a while, not wanting to lose the warmth he felt from the other end of the cell. He just laid there, smiling, thinking that this was really the best birthday he had in a long time. His hand reached out and touched the edge of the book, and thought of Alan stripping, a smile broke out on his face; he was really looking forward to seeing that performance.
To return to story:
6.5 Reflecting Reflectins